Break my Heart a Thousand Times
by VeryDazzlingMuggle
Summary: America Singer never entered the Selection when she was seventeen. Instead, Kriss Ambers won Prince Maxon's heart. When her husband Aspen dies, heartbroken America escapes from her life in Carolina to work at the palace, where she meets the dashing King Maxon. Will a love story unfold? Or will this fairy tale have a tragic ending?
1. Prologue

_SUMMARY: America Singer never entered the Selection when she was seventeen. Instead, Kriss Ambers won Prince Maxon's heart. When her husband Aspen dies, heartbroken America escapes from her life in Carolina to work at the palace, where she meets the infamous dashing King Maxon. Will a love story unfold? Or will this fairy tale have a tragic ending?_

 _*_ _Reader's Note_ _: This story was written as a collab by_ _ **verydazzlingmuggle**_ _and_ _ **communityvalerie,**_ _writers on both fanfiction and wattpad._

 _Author's note_ _: As authors, we understand that the names created in this continuation are spelled incorrectly, or just plain weirdly. Since the original author of the series, Kiera Cass, spells the characters' names differently, we've adopted that style and based the spelling of names differently. (_ _Ex. Chelsey - Chelsea, Valleree - Valerie, Veronikka - Veronica, Keahnna - Keanna)_

 _ **Thank you for reading, and we hope you enjoy!**_

 **Disclaimer: We don't own** _ **The Selection**_ **series, Kiera Cass does.**

* * *

 _PROLOGUE_

Consider yourself lucky if you've never had someone close to you, who you _love_ , die. It hurts, a _lot._

You feel empty, hollow, especially if the person who died was the love of your life. You cry, but the tears have no meaning. You scream, but your wails don't matter. They're gone, and nothing has any importance whatsoever anymore.

If you haven't guessed, this has happened to me. The person in my life who died was my first ever boyfriend, a secret I had kept for years, my husband, and… well, my own personal fairy tale. You may swoon and sigh, which you should. Because the love we had, it was _real_.

So when he died, it broke me. He had died while doing his job- a guard at the palace. A few years before, he had been chosen to be a guard, and that had split us up for some time. When he had been injured in a rebel attack at the palace, he had been sent home for a few months, and we had gotten back together. Seeing him again had made me realize the intensity of our love, so I had gathered my courage and broken the news of our relationship to my family.

May, my younger sister, had nearly burst with excitement. My father… he was pretty calm, so I assumed he had suspected earlier and been okay with it. My older sister Kenna and my brothers Kota and Gerard were indifferent. They were happy for me, but not too interested either way. My mother had been the only one upset… at first. Then May had won a huge art contest, winning a ton of money and fame. That had distracted her for a few days, and eventually she accepted my relationship with Aspen (it was hard not to love him, after all).

After telling my family about Aspen, and also telling Aspen's family, the two of us had small wedding ceremony. It wasn't very big or extravagant, but we were in love, so we didn't really care. Soon though, Aspen had to return to the palace. It was hard, with him being so far from home. He was only allowed a few weeks home every year, which was extremely difficult. But we managed to keep our relationship strong through love letters.

But then, a few weeks after Aspen had visited home for a few days, I had found out I was pregnant. At first I was worried sick. How would Aspen react? We had talked about kids, but not this early, with him being away from home all the time. How would I take care of the baby if I was by myself for most of the year?

It turns out I had been worried for nothing. When I had confessed, Aspen had been overjoyed, along with my family. With a lot of the stress gone, I realized I was pretty excited too. A baby!

My family was very helpful for the next few months. Aspen managed to get a week off around the due date, so when my little daughter was born, she was birthed into a world that loved her. Her name was Adelynne. Aspen, America, and Adelynne Leger… One small, but happy little family.

In the short time of three years, our family fell apart. I received a letter in the mail, informing me of my husband's death. He had died while on a mission for the palace, so he hadn't actually been killed at the palace, but I was still angry. The letter was so cold and plain. Through my tears, I realized he had probably one of many. Tons of families across the kingdom were possibly getting letters similar to that one, but the palace hadn't cared.

At first I was angry. I was mad at the palace, for getting my husband in all this trouble. Then I was mad at Aspen himself, for leaving me alone. Then I was simply mad at the world. I didn't deserve this, I had told myself. I had blocked everyone out, including May and my parents, and I had ignored Adelynne.

But after a few weeks, and then months, I started recovering. I was a Six, so I found work at a rich woman's house nearby. My mother offered to watch Adelynne during the day, so after a while everything was fine again.

Then one fateful day, my whole world changed.

 _END OF PROLOGUE_

* * *

 **Edit: I have received multiple messages and reviews asking about why America is a Six instead of a Two. I explained in one of my later chapters, but I thought I would add an explanation here as well.**

 **I have made America a Six primarily because of plot. It would be more difficult to try and make her a Two coming to the Palace, as she would be one of many widowed guards' wives. For sake of storyline, I altered the caste rules to make her a Six so she would be a maid. My loose reasoning for this is that, because Aspen died on duty, his death bumped America down to his previous caste, a Six. Not the best logic, but it's how this story is, so I hope you enjoy anyway!**

 **Please review!**


	2. How It All Began

Chapter One

 ** _To Ms. America Singer,_**

 ** _We were happy to receive a letter recommending you as a maid, since the palace is in need of more help due to our Majesty Queen Kriss being ill. We are even happier to say that we have found a spot for you, and we will expect you to arrive at the airport on March 12 at 1:oo pm. On arrival at the Palace, Ms. Mallory, a fellow Maid, will be waiting to help you get settled. Everything you need will be provided at the palace. If you would prefer to bring some personal items, please limit to one (small) bag._**

 ** _Thank you for thinking of Illea Palace as a place to live out your career._**

 _ **Sincerely, Head Maid Chelsey**_ __

I blinked.

I couldn't believe how lucky I was. A job at the palace was one of the best for a Six, and I had been itching to leave Carolina ever since Aspen died. It would hurt to leave my family and my daughter, but this small town was reminded me of Aspen constantly. I needed to start over, and if that meant traveling to the other side of the country to work in a place I have never visited, then so be it.

I smiled. After reading the letter, I had instantly remembered why I had received this letter in the first place, and when all this had started…

"America!" _someone hissed next to me. I startled, then looked to my right. Raychell was looking at me, concerned, but before she could say anything a voice snapped at both us._

" _LADIES! I don't think you're paid to just chit chat!" I didn't look up from kneeling on the ground, but I recognized the angry tone and harsh voice of our superior maid. I started scrubbing the floor again with earnest, along with Raychell, and eventually Gertrude moved on to pick on other maids._

 _Raychell sighed. "Better be careful, Mer," she whispered breathlessly as she scrubbed at a spot on the marble floor. My heart panged with the familiar nickname. "Next time Gertrude won't let us off easy."_

 _I closed my eyes for a moment, dunking my sponge into a bucket of dirty, soapy water next to me. "Sorry, I got… distracted." I took a deep breath, willing myself not to start crying from just remembering Aspen._

 _Raychell made a doubtful noise in the back of her throat. I looked over in time to see a small smile on her face as she shook her head slightly. "Are you sure you're okay? You've been acting a little… off."_

 _I scrunched my nose up uncomfortably. While Raychell was really nice and one of my few friends at my job, I still felt uncomfortable with sharing personal information. Before I could respond, she snapped her fingers in front of my face, and I jumped in reaction.  
I shot her a sheepish look. "What was that for?" I gawked awkwardly, my hand still in the bucket of murky water.  
Raychell rolled her eyes and nudged me softly. "Gertrude is going to return any minute." She sighed. "Mer, you deserve better than this. You deserve more than whatever you have right now." Her tone was soft, and it relaxed me. But I was confused by her words. Where did all this come from?  
_" _Look, America, I have an aunt that can get you away from Carolina." She said this as if it was a big secret, and I smiled. Raychell was always one for the dramatics. "Away from whatever's been bugging you here," Raychell continued. "I've already gotten a spot at the Palace where my Aunt Chelsey is the head maid there, and I can bring you along with me." Raychell implied. I nodded, trying to make it seem as if I was working.  
_ " _I'll send word of you as a recommendation, but I'm not sure when you'll get the letter of acceptance. Since the Palace is short on staff, I'd bet they'd accept you as fast as lightning strikes." Lou huffed, scrubbing the floor even harder than before._

" _If you already have a spot in the Palace, why are you still here?" I asked her, copying her tactic of floor-scrubbing. Raychell stopped in mid-scrub and lifted her head, and faced me._

 _She smiled coyly. "I like you America. You're cool, and a pretty great friend." She glanced around the room. "I obviously haven't asked anyone else to come, have I?" She looked sincere and I smiled, but then she bit her lip, trying to hide a smile. "Plus, I wasn't even asked until a month ago. Did you hear about-" She ducked her head down again and resumed scrubbing, as did I. Once Gertrude had left, Raychell continued scrubbing and talking, but didn't look at my face."Queen Kriss is ill, did you hear about that?" I shook my head, and I could tell she was surprised by the way she hesitated and jerked her head._

" _Seriously?" She asked incredulously. "It's all over the news, and_ everyone's _been talking about it. She's very far in her pregnancy, you have to know_ that _right?"_

" _Yes, this one's their first, right? They've been waiting awhile for an heir..."_

 _I saw Raychell smile in the corner of my eye. "Yeah, but they're worried something is going to happen with the baby since she's so sick." She frowned. "They're getting lots of extra staff, which is hard since everyone's afraid to go to the Palace since the big sickness sweep among the servants last year."_

 _I nodded, but Gertrude came back, so we had to stop talking. She stopped in front of us. "Raychell, is it?" she asked bitterly, and Raychell looked up while I kept my head down._

" _Yes, ma'am."_

" _Come here for a minute, will you?" she asked angrily. "There's a mess in the kitchen that needs to be cleaned up." Without waiting for Raychell, Gertrude stomped out of the room._

 _Raychell sighed, rolled her eyes, and stood up. Wiping her damp hands on her apron, she sent me a sarcastic pout. "I will_ so _miss this place… especially Gertrude."_

 _I giggled, then called after her as she was about to leave the room. "Raychell!" This caused another maid in the room, Fiona, to look up. I sent Raychell a meaningful look. "I agree."_

 _She grinned, winked, and nearly skipped out the door._

 _Fiona sent me a confused look, but I ignored her. I was too busy focusing on how on Earth I was supposed to break this to my family, especially my mother…_

I smiled as I held the letter and reminisced.

Luckily, my Mother had taken it in stride, immediately offering to take care of Adelynne. She didn't have to work often anymore, except for the occasional shows around the holidays, since May was extremely famous and rich. I was proud of my sister for being able to support my mother and my younger brother Gerard, who had finally found an instrument he liked but was unfortunately not very good at playing it.

I bit my lip. In just a couple days, I would be starting my new life. And though it was hard to admit, I was looking forward to it.

[] TWO DAYS LATER []

Raychell glanced over at me, concerned. She cleared her throat to catch my attention. "Are you alright? Again, you seem… off,"

"I, uh. Yeah, I guess I do. No reason to doubt that, huh?" I chided, finally snapping back into reality.

Raychell sent me a knowing look. "Have you ever been on a plane, America?"

I felt my cheeks heat up. "Well… kind of."

Raychell rolled her eyes. "It's either no or yes. I don't think you have." She giggled.

I huffed. "You don't to make fun of me. I know what planes are, and I've seen them fly. They work with, uh, wings… and fuel… I think." I jumped as the plane roared to life, my eyes jumping around the aircraft nervously.

Raychell was now laughing loudly. I tried to shush her, but it was no use. "You're funny, America, but it's even funnier that you don't even try."

I rolled my eyes, and Raychell looked out the window. Her face lit up, and she patted my arm. "We're moving! We'll be taking off soon."

I made a face. I hadn't realized we were moving, which was unnerving. I suddenly felt very tired. It felt as if my insides were replaced with butterflies. Lots and lots of butterflies.

Gripping the armrest of my seat as tightly as possible, I took deep breaths. I didn't bother to look over to Raychell to see if she was teasing me or not. I was too uneasy.

"Ray, just how long _is_ this flight?" I murmured, too scared to even open my eyes. I could tell she was already looking at me with the most confused look on her face ever to be shown.

It took her a minute to reply. "Oh, well. Probably about three to five hours max," She answered. "Don't worry, America Singer, you'll be fine."

I quickly opened my eyes. I was devastated at the news. Five to three hours? Well, it might as well be six to nine, or ten to thirteen even.

Groaning, I rested my head on my hand and stared out the window. I constantly reminded myself one thing:  
It would be worth the trip when I arrive. It would be worth it anyday.

 _END OF CHAPTER ONE_


	3. Sentimental

Chapter Two

I clutched my bag like it was my lifeline as I walked up the steps to the palace. Besides Lou, it was the only thing familiar to me here. It was a worn, leather bag that I'd had for years and was starting tear at the edges, but it reminded me of home. It was full of pictures of my family, including Aspen, the last letter I received from my father, and a couple other small trinkets to remind me of Carolina.

I glanced down at what I was wearing. I hadn't brought any extra clothes besides the jeans and faded blue T-shirt I was currently wearing, but I assumed maids had a uniform that would be provided.

Suddenly I wished for Raychell. We had been split up when we landed because she had been called by her aunt who lived somewhere on the other side of the palace. I didn't know her very well yet, but she was the only person here I knew and who knew me. I was a little uncomfortable being without her, since she had seemed so confident.

All thoughts of Raychell flew from my head as we walked through the door. My eyes widened as we entered through a door, even though it was a side entrance. It was a servants' quarters, I assumed, and a few maids were scattered across the room. For a servants' quarters, it was extremely clean and nice.

My eyes scanned the room. A couple maids sent curious looks in my direction, but none came up to say hello. I frowned. I hoped not everyone would be this cautious and unfriendly.

I started when someone tapped my shoulder.

I turned around to see a maid standing behind me, her eyes alight with humor. "Oh, I'm sorry," she said with an embarrassed giggle. "I didn't mean to startle you." She smiled at me, revealing bright white teeth. Overall, she was very pretty, with wavy blonde hair and light hazel eyes. Her cheeks were blushed light pink, but I couldn't tell if that was usual or from the excitement of a new maid.

"I'm…" she frowned, as if she couldn't remember what she had been about to say. "Mallory." She stuck out her hand. At least one person around here was friendly. I wasn't sure why she had been hesitant on her name, of all things, but I wasn't going to judge.

"America." I shook her hand. "I think you're the maid I'm supposed to ask for. That's what it said in my acceptance letter."

Mallory smiled. "Oh, yes! I'm just here to welcome you, though, and then Miss Chelsey will be the one giving you a tour." She looked over to the other side of the room, where a woman was waving for her to come over.

She sighed. "Sorry, America, I'll be right back. Duties, y'know?" She grimaced and then pointed over to a couch in the corner. "You can stay over there while you're waiting for me. Hopefully I'll be back soon." She hurried over to the impatient woman in the corner, so I ambled over to the couch. A couple maids looked at me and smiled, but I didn't feel like talking. I'd introduce myself later.

Instead I sat and leaned my head against the wall. The first day and I was already exhausted...

I sighed. I desperately needed a reality check. Thanks to a letter, my whole life changed, and I didn't even see it coming. One day I was scrubbing floors at a rich woman's home, and another day I was accepted to work in the Palace. It was crazy. Although it concerned me greatly that the Queen was ill, what was really bothering me was that _I_ especially was chosen to work at the Palace- the place where the Royal Family lived... I would be living amongst Ones.

But while I was awed by the Palace, I missed home. The main reason I was staying at the palace was to send home money for my family.

And then everything was just so confusing and surprising too. In the first place, I was incredulous Raychell's Aunt Chelsey had accepted me in the first place, since I didn't have a lot of experience. I was also pleasantly surprised at how welcoming Mallory had been to me. At least I had someone on my side here. I was always conscious about what other people thought about me, but when I married Aspen, it had all disappeared. But now that he was gone, that eerie feeling had made it's way back to me, and I was just as self-conscious as ever.

"Is she asleep?" I heard someone whisper. My eyes snapped open, and Mallory laughed.

"I guess not!" Mallory smiled and stuck out her hand. "C'mon, America." She pulled me so I was standing up, and I wobbled a bit.

"Are you okay?" A maid near the two of us asked when Mallory had to steady me.

I nodded, steadying myself and blushing. I was embarrassed to have acted so foolishly on my first day.

The concerned maid stood up and walked over to me. "I'm Anne," she said with a smile. "You're America, right?" I nodded, but Mallory grabbed my hand before I could say anything.

"Sorry, Anne," she apologized as she gently pulled me towards the door. "She's gonna be late for her tour and she still has to change into her uniform." Anne nodded and turned away, and I glanced down at my outfit. I had forgotten that I was still in my jeans and T-shirt that smelled like home. I dreaded having to take it off. Hurriedly, Mallory grabbed a dark blue dress, a white apron, white socks, and small black flats from a shelf and shoved them into my arms. "Change." she ordered, and pushed me into a room. Quickly, I changed, smiling at the familiar feel of flats on my feet. The long dress and apron were a little uncomfortable in the warm Angeles heat, but the fabric was extremely soft and smelled like vanilla and laundry detergent- an interesting combination of smells, but I liked it all the same.

Once I was finished, Mallory helped me tie up my long red hair up in a bun and tuck it under a thin white cap, then led me up a set of stairs into a long, pristine hallway, which I assumed was part of the main castle.

I gasped. "Why on Earth do they have chandeliers in a _hallway_?"

Mallory laughed. "I know right? When I first came, it was so weird. I wasn't used to things like that as a Four and-" She broke off suddenly, and I processed what she just said.

"Wait… how were you a Four…" I frowned, not paying attention to the beautiful paintings lining the hall anymore.

Mallory winced and rubbed her hands, which were covered in scars. I immediately felt bad for not noticing, but Mallory just muttered, "I'm sorry, but I don't want to talk about it."

I opened my mouth, and then shut it as Mallory stopped in the middle of the corridor. While I had no idea where in the palace we were, she seemed to recognize the pure white marble hallway.

"I think this is the place where Chelsey will be meeting you." She gestured to a padded bench next to a green potted plant. I raised an eyebrow. Why would someone put a plant indoors? It didn't make sense. "You can wait here," she said quickly. "Chelsey will be giving you the tour, okay?" She gave me small, sad smile. "I'm sorry I brushed off your question, but that's a sensitive topic for me… I hope we can still be friends."

"Of course," I nodded. I had secrets of my own I didn't like sharing, and Mallory seemed a very nice, good friend to have.

Mallory smiled, bigger and happier this time. "Wonderful!" she clapped her hands. "I'll see you around, then?"

I smiled as she walked off, and then sat on the padded bench, but I had no time to relax before a voice called out from down the large hallway. I jerked my head in the direction of the foreign voice, and squinted to see who it was. It was a lady. I hesitated in whether I should greet her or not. But I didn't get the chance to decide.

"Are you Miss America Singer?" The lady asked. Her voice was sweet. I nodded awkwardly. Oh, I felt so stupid. I should've said "hello" or "hi" at least. It surprised me that the lady with the sweet voice didn't point out my baffled complexion. Instead, she smiled.

"Anyways, my name is Chelsey."

Chelsey? Aunt Chelsey? But she seemed so young! And to be quite frank, she was a bit shorter than I had originally thought. But, it made her a better person no matter what she looked like. Her hair was a deep brown, which matched her sparkling eyes almost identically, and her skin was fair and flawless.

She looked at me as if I was puzzled.

"America, are you alright?" She asked, her face showed the worry she already had for me. I was touched.

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm just a bit tired from the long flight here," I replied, scratching the back of my head.

"That's fine! I can show you around quickly then so you won't fall asleep on me during the tour. Even though the Palace is a wonderful place, I would find it difficult to sleep through since it would be your first time here. It really is magnificent!"

Chelsey was so bubbly and friendly, how could anyone _not_ like her? I smiled brightly. Chelsey had already made half of my day, since the other half was wasted on the flight.

She quickly dug through her dress pocket and pulled out a ring of keys. I was amazed she could walk around the Palace so quietly with all that in her pocket.

"America, I'll start with the maid's and butler's quarters," She chimed as she turned the corner, which revealed a line of beautiful doors and well-lit quarters.

"Number 20. You'll be sharing a room with a maid, but it won't be assigned to you until nightfall," I knitted my eyebrows together, worried. Chelsey instantly caught this. "Don't worry, we're just getting your room setup, no need to worry!"

Chelsey chuckled softly as she skipped along the corridor, taking another sharp turn. Instead of a hallway aligned with rooms, it was a beautiful marble staircase which split into two stairways at the top. From the ceiling hung a glistening chandelier and hoisted upon the wall was a portrait of the Royal Family. King Clarkson, Queen Amberly and a younger version of their son King Maxon. Next to the large family portrait was a picture of King Maxon and Queen Kriss smiling together. There was a black curtain that seemed ready to drape over the frame.

Just as I was about to ask Chelsey why it was placed there, she quickly took my hand and pulled me to the other side of the room. She seemed troubled, but I didn't bother asking her why.

Chelsey cleared her throat and spoke up. "Up that staircase is Royal Family's rooms and lounging areas. I bet you'll be allowed to go up there pretty soon, you have a lot of potential." She winked at me and nudged my arm.

I laughed lightly at her comment, and she joined me in my "giggle-fest"

"The kitchen is on the third floor, the laundry room is next to it, and the rest is all listed here," Chelsey hummed as she handed me a neat paper with detailed paragraphs describing the rooms. I realized it was a very detailed map of the huge palace.

"This is a map of the Palace, so if you ever get lost, take a look at the map." She said cheerfully.  
"Alright, I'll definitely keep that in mind." I replied. Chelsey glanced around freely and looked back at me. She placed her hands behind her back and looked over my shoulder.

She tossed her head back and groaned openly. I was shocked at first, but then I turned around and had the same expression as she did. A group of maids were hurrying out, carrying a white dress with a red stain, probably from wine, drenched all over the skirt. I felt really bad for the girl who wore that dress.

Chelsey's face seemed disappointed. "Well, that's my cue. I'll show you a couple of the safe rooms later today. It was fun meeting you, America!" She exclaimed as she ran towards the group of maids holding the dress.

Before I could respond to her to say I enjoyed meeting her too, and to ask what safe rooms were, Chelsey had bolted off to deal with the dress problem. But it _was_ nice meeting her. Raychell was right.

Oh, Raychell! I had completely forgotten about her! I buried my head in my hands and grumbled to myself a bit. I felt terrible for forgetting her all this time. She was probably getting her tour of the Palace too.

I smiled, sitting on a bench. I missed my family already, but I knew I would be happy here. I already had three friends here, a feat I was extremely proud of. Marlee was really happy, Chelsey was very friendly, and Raychell… Raychell was my familiarity, I supposed. I hoped I would always be able to count on her, at least.

 _END OF CHAPTER TWO_


	4. Unfamiliar Acquaintances

Chapter Three

After a minute of just looking around at the paintings in the grand hallway I became bored. With nothing else better to do, my curiosity took hold of my attention span. I wandered into a room and slowly opened the door. I was shocked.

There it was. A gorgeous white piano lay in the middle of the room, practically begging to be played.

I glanced around the hallway to make sure no one would see me and rat me out. Swiftly, I hurried in, and closed the door and sat at the piano, taking in my new discovery. I hesitated at first, only because I hadn't played for years. Music was supposed to be from past, but I was heading to the future… I shook those thoughts away with a smile. This piano was begging to be played.

Lightly, I placed my hands in position and loosened my wrists, relaxed my shoulders, and took a deep breath. My fingers skipped along the keys, producing a sweet melody from the piano. The flow of the music filled the once quiet room and instantly lifted my mood.

Before I knew it, my whole body was under the spell of music. My fingers kept on playing and a smile appeared on my face.

I was so concentrated on the sound of my music, I didn't notice the door open. There stood a familiar face. A similar face I saw on the television. Only that face didn't stick long enough to let me get a good look at it.

I lifted my hands off of the piano and shifted my body in the direction of the door.

I heard something from in the hall. I stood up and headed slowly towards it, cautiously peering outside. Was I going to get in trouble for playing the piano. My hands starting sweating. I had only just gotten here, and I had already made a mistake that could have me kicked out of the Palace.  
"You play well," A random voice commented. It was a female's voice, and she sounded quite friendly. I looked around quickly to see another lady, leaning on her back against the wall, her arms crossed, smiling at me. "Thank you…" I smiled, and then hesitated. "Have I seen you before?" I asked. "You look familiar…" I mumbled.

"Like someone well-known, right?" She responded. It seemed like she got this remark often.

I gasped, finally realizing who she looked like.

"Gavril Fadaye!" I exclaimed, placing a hand over my mouth keeping myself from screaming. She chuckled softly, nodding. She looked sleepy.  
"I'm his niece, Valleree Fadaye. Pleased to mee-" She stammered, stopping in mid-sentence.

My mouth was hanging open, and my eyes were probably as big as the moon. My mom used to gush over Gavril every week on the _Report,_ and I was just happy enough to meet his niece, much less Gavril himself. Realizing I was being rude, I snapped my mouth shut, and lowered my hand. "I'm sorry, that was rude of me," I said sheepishly. "But I've never met anyone famous before."

Valleree shrugged, giving me small smile. "I'm used to it," she said nonchalantly. "And if you haven't met any other famous people, you probably will soon. You live in the Palace, after all…" She looked me up and down, inspecting my maid's outfit. "I assume you're new?"

I nodded, smiling, but trying to straighten myself. Valleree frowned, and for a minute I thought she was going to get upset or critique me.

Instead her face turned concerned. "Why are you alone? Aren't you supposed to be getting the tour?"

"I saw most of it," I explained, pleasantly surprised that she cared. "But Chels-" I paused. Did Valleree know the Head Maid's name? "The Head Maid had to go help with something… a dress, I think."

Valleree winced. "Ooh, yeah, I heard about that dress. Red wine got on a white one, right?"

I shrugged. "I don't know the details, Miss." I assumed we were supposed to address everyone above us as Miss or Sir, but I wasn't sure.

"Did you say the Head Maid?" Valleree changed the subject with a smile. "You mean Miss Chelsey, right?"

I could tell my face was surprised because she laughed. "You probably assume we don't bother getting to know 'those beneath us,'" she said sarcastically, a hint of sadness behind her voice. "It's true that some of us here at the Palace don't, but I do," she smiled. "It's hard to ask for help when you don't know a person's name, isn't it?" She smiled, and I couldn't do anything but nod. "You probably haven't met Lady Veronnika yet, but she takes extreme pride in trying to know _everyone's_ name. Literally, everyone- the maids, the butlers, the guards… When guests visit, she even tries to learn their individual name, even if they're leaving the next day." Valleree rolled her eyes, and I laughed. By the way Valleree talked about her, I assumed she and Lady Veronnika, and maybe even Miss Chelsey, were good friends. "You should introduce yourself so she'll know your name," Valleree suggested to me, referring to Lady Veronnika. "She's very friendly… most of the time. Just don't bother her while she's working or reading, because then the claws will come out," she joked, and I laughed again.

All of a sudden, there was a crash down the hall. Both of our heads whipped towards the noise. I frowned at first, unable to process what I was seeing. Was that… broken glass in front of the window?

Another shattering crash, and I jumped. A brick had flown through another window, breaking the glass, but this time the window was closer to us.

"Miss Valleree! Hurry!" A guard called from the other end of the corridor, waving his hands frantically. A siren went off, startling me.

Valleree grabbed my hand, and started to pull me away from the broken window. I looked at her pale face, and it looked scared. Her eyes were wide with fright. I stumbled after her, but for a woman in heels she was pretty fast.

"What's going on?" I asked breathlessly.

Valleree looked grave as we passed the guard in the hall, and he ran after us, watching our backs and keeping his gun ready. "You said you didn't receive all of the tour. You haven't seen the safe rooms, right?" she asked.

I shook my head, unable to speak.

"Miss Valleree!" The guard called from behind us. "The maid needs to go to her safe room! We need to get _you_ to the King and Queen's safe room."

"No, she's staying with me!" Valleree yelled over the sound of a couple windows breaking. I heard shots firing somewhere, and I prayed that it wasn't where we were headed.

"But miss!" The guard protested.

One look her from Valleree and he shut up. Her dark brown eyes flashed threateningly. "I told you, she's staying with me!" Valleree insisted, and I felt touched.

I ran with her, picking up the pace of my feet, but yet I still couldn't catch up to Valleree. And she was in heels. I felt useless already.

"America, don't slip from my hand, or you'll get left behind-" She frantically looked around and turned a sharp corner. Really! What was with these corners and turns?!

I decided to take her advice and tighten my grip on her hand. She pulled me past crowded storage areas, the guard not far behind. We stopped shortly at a large painting of Queen Amberly.

I leaned over to catch my breath. Valleree seemed restless. "Here," She said, unlatching the painting which swung open. "Get in quickly! Both of you!" She cried, pointing to the large vault.

The guard shot her a concerned look. "But Miss!" He exclaimed, obviously worried. I had the same look on my face. I wasn't going to let her leave by herself!

She huffed and pouted, "I can take care of myself, but you, America, stay in there. I'll look for more people in need of help." She looked over at the guard. "If you're so desperate to help, come with me to find more people. America, hurry!" She cried out, pushing me softly into the room.

I didn't bother to fight against her, so I slowly climbed in and tucked up legs up to my chest. I leaned back on the wall, just to feel it start to turn. I panicked.

"V-Valleree! Miss Fadaye!" I screamed, flailing my arms around, searching for something to grab onto. Valleree quickly heard my plea and looked in, sticking out a hand.

I was stiff. I couldn't move. My mouth had become too dry to speak and my close-to-tear eyes said it all. "America!" I heard her yell.

"No-" I managed to choke out as I missed her hand, and fell back into the darkness.

The ground was surprisingly soft, and I hit it with a loud 'thump.' A voice piped up, which started me. "Who are you? And how did you get in here?" The male voice asked huskily.

"A maid, America Singer, and I fell back from a safe room wall, I don't know, I just arrived today…" I spluttered. The voice sighed, and came over near me. My heart was pounding out of my chest and my breathing quickened.

"Who led you here?" The voice asked again. I was reluctant to answer him, I didn't want Valleree to get in trouble, and if she did, I wouldn't forgive myself for that. I took a risk.

"Miss Valleree Fadaye," I answered as I got up and brushed myself off. I felt horrible. I just ratted her out.

The voice chuckled lightly, and I turned to face him. "You're lucky. She caught onto you like a fish on a hook." The voice said again. I was surprised. Did she do this often? I snapped back to reality.

"Anyways, are you hurt in anyway?" I asked.

"Well, no, not really. Just…. worried." He responded.

"Not to be rude, but what's your name?" I asked again.

He made an incredulous sound, as if surprised I didn't recognize his voice. What he said surprised me more than anything else today. "King Maxon Schreave," was his quick reply.

I gasped, my hand clamping over my mouth. Even though he probably couldn't see me in the dark, I curtsied. "Your Majesty," my voice was wavering a little, but it was pretty calm.

He chuckled softly, probably finding humor in my quick personality flip. "Miss," he greeted me, warmth in his voice. "Are you hurt in any way?"

I shook my head, then said, "No," when I realized he probably couldn't see me. My eyes adjusted to the dark a little, and I could faintly make out the King's body in front of me. I watched as he pointed to a small cot in the corner.

"You can rest there, if you'd like," he said, and then quickly walked off to another part of the room, where a couple people were conversing in hushed, whispered tones. Having nothing else to do, I walked over to the cot and lay down.

It was hard to relax, but after a minute of staring off into space and worrying about all my friends still in the Palace, another person entered the safe room. My head turned toward the person, and I sat up when the woman came over to sit down.

"Hey," Valleree's voice greeted me tiredly, and she sighed. "We'll be getting out of here soon," she whispered, looking around the safe room.

I furrowed my brow. "What'd do you do after I fell in?"

"I helped a couple people who were hurt… " Valleree shrugged. "By then most of the rebels were either dead or running away, so I just came here so I wouldn't get in trouble for not going to the safe room like a good little girl," she gave me a weak smile. "Now they're just checking 'round the castle. It'll probably take around fifteen minutes, and then we'll go back up." Valleree looked up at ceiling, probably wondering what was going on above us, like me. Her eyes traveled around the room, finally resting on a woman sitting up against the wall, her knees up to her chest.

Valleree winced. "Ugh, Veronikka will not like this." She stood up with a groan. "She's claustrophobic," Valleree explained as she brushed herself off and walked over to who I assumed was Lady Veronikka. The king's advisor raised her head as Valleree came up and gave a small smile as her friend sat down.

My eyes traveled over to King Maxon, who was discussing something with a stiff guard, who nodded occasionally. When the guard glanced at me, I avoided my eyes. I knew that I wasn't supposed to be here, but King Maxon had let me stay. Also, I highly doubted that they would throw me out, even when the rebels were all mostly gone.

I lay down again, staring at the ceiling. I was exhausted, tired from the plane ride and overall trip to the palace. I felt my eyes start to droop, and tried to pray that I wouldn't snore while asleep, because that would be mortifying. Finally, I let sleep take over my body, completely relaxed for the first time today.

 _END OF CHAPTER THREE_


	5. A Slight Change in Fate

Chapter Four

[] A FEW WEEKS LATER []

I furrowed my brow and hurried out of the supply room. I was requested to collect some towels for Queen Kriss. Quickly, I hurried to her room to drop off the towels.

My hands trembled as they let down the towels on a rack, and it was when I left, my hands stopped trembling. I sighed slowly, wondering what my role in life actually was. May was a talented artist and Gerald was a bright individual. I was a maid working in the Palace.

Hopefully, I would get a "big-break" like May did, and actually be of some notable importance.

Even though my blissful dream probably wouldn't come true, I dared to dream it anyways. A thought hit me. What _was_ the Royal Family like? Would I be the one that raised the young prince if I move up on status on time?

Suddenly, I was thrilled.

It motivated me even more to try my hardest at this job. It was a small job, but it was a job that had to be done. It was better that I could do it, rather than someone else. For the first time, I was grateful for this job, not being entitled by the pay, but what I could accomplish here.

I remembered Aunt Chelsey's letter.

" _Thank you for thinking of Illea Palace as a place to live out your career."_

I smiled to myself, all happy and giddy inside, as if I was a schoolgirl.

As I was passing some rooms on the way to Queen Kriss's chambers, I paused. I looked around in awe. I, America Singer, was in the Royal Chambers. I was standing next to Maxon's mother, Queen Amberly's, bedroom. I stared at the double door, wondering what could be behind them…

 _CRASH._

I jumped away from the door, startled from the sound that came from inside the room. I paused for a second, worried. I looked down the hall, but there were no other guards or maids in this corridor. I frowned. For the royal family's chambers there should really be more security.

I stared at the door to the Her Highness's bedroom. All was quiet again, but that made me even more nervous. I had no idea what to do…

Hesitantly, I knocked softly on the two double doors. "Excuse, me Your Highness? Is anything wrong?" I assumed the old Queen Amberly would still be in her room because of how early in the morning it was. When I heard nothing, I grabbed the handle and turned. Poking my head in, I called out. "Miss?"

A small strangled sound came from the floor, and I gasped, rushing into the room and kneeling down.

Queen Amberly lay on the ground, her eyes shut in pain. A small table was knocked over next to her, the lamp strewn over the floor.

"Oh my goodness, Your Highness!" I fretted. What was I supposed to do? I stood up shakily and walked quickly over to the door. "I have to get help, Your Highness, please wait a minute," I tried to keep my voice calm, even though my heart was racing and my mind was jumbled with worry and guilt. Without waiting for her to respond, I rushed out.

Luckily, a guard was at the other end of the hall. "Wait, excuse me!" The guard stopped and looked at me. "Please go get help!" I called out to him. "Queen Amberly has collapsed!" The guard paused for a minute and then ran my way. "No, no!" I cried. "Get help!"

He looked at me exasperatedly as he ran up. I read his name tag, and it said 'Avery.' "Do you have medical experience?" he asked hurriedly. "Because both of my parents are doctors. I know the Queen better too!" He opened the door. "Your Highness?" he shot me a look. " _Get help!"_

I stumbled a bit, then started running, only to run slam straight into an opening door.

"Oh my goodness!" King Maxon looked incredulously at me on the floor, and I blushed. Even though it was his fault I had crashed into his door in the first place, I was still embarrassed to have been caught by the _King_. He reached down and pulled me up until we were standing face to face, pressed up against each other. His cheeks were flushed with embarrassment, as were mine. We stepped away from each other awkwardly, and I curtsied, trying to polite. "I'm terribly sorry, Your Majesty. I should've been looking where I was going."

King Maxon shook his head hurriedly. "Oh no, no, it was my fault. Are you alright?" I was surprised to see he was actually concerned. I nodded, and then gasped.

"Oh, no, I completely forgot!" He looked at me, confused. "Your mother, she collapsed in her room! I was sent to get help!" I rubbed my forehead. It still hurt from the impact.

"What?" King Maxon was pale. He rushed to his mother's room and flung open the door. "Mother?" he asked, and I followed him into the room.

The king kneeled down next to his mother, then looked at the guard Avery. "Go get help!" he pleaded, so Avery bowed and rushed out of the room.

A thousand thoughts raced in my mind. What would happen to Queen Amberly? Is there something I could've done? Would I be blamed for anything? Who is going to bring Queen Kriss the towels?

As Maxon kneeled next to his mother, whispering soothing words to her as he clutched her small hand in his, I could tell he was doing everything he could to keep himself together. He was doing it for her. He was trying to stay strong for her.

I didn't want to mess up their moment or get in the way, so I just stood to the side, and when the doctor and a few nurses arrived, I didn't say anything… not that anyone asked. I felt my eyes fill with tears just watching. I had always admired Queen Amberly on the television, but not just because she was beautiful, put together, and polite. I could also tell in her eyes that she was generally kind and respectful person. It hurt me to think she would die.

Maxon had to let go of his mother once the doctor came, but he helped put her on the bed, and then went to stand in the corner. It looked like it physically hurt him to be away from his mother right now, but he simply stood there, watching, his arms crossed and his posture stiff.

I hesitated at first, but then walked towards him. "Your Majesty," I bowed my head.

King Maxon looked down at me, his face broken, but he still recognized me. His voice was hoarse when he tried to speak. He cleared his throat. "Were you the one here when my mother collapsed?"

I shook my head. "No, Your Majesty. I wasn't actually in the room. I heard a crash when I was in the hallway, so I came in and found her on the floor."

Maxon's eyes were trained on the bed, and he absentmindedly nodded. "Thank you," he said softly, trying and failing to give me a smile. He put a hand on my shoulder, which made me a bit uncomfortable. "Without you, who knows when she would've been found."

I hesitated. I didn't know whether or not to tell him that were no other maids or guards in the corridor besides me earlier. Would that be considered rude, to criticize his security? After all, there was a shortage of workers here at the palace…

But before I could decide to say anything, Maxon walked away, towards the door. I hadn't noticed, but Queen Kriss had entered the room, her two maids behind her. They hovered near her, and I could see why. Not only was her stomach swelled up like a balloon (no offense to Her Majesty), but she was also pale and thin, and even the high quality makeup they had here at the palace couldn't cover the dark circles under her eyes. I watched as they embraced, King Maxon's arms encircling around her frail body as she put her head on his shoulder.

I sighed, rubbing my temples. My head was really starting hurt, and I was exhausted.

A maid had come into the room with all of the commotion. She saw me in the corner and came closer. I recognized her as the maid I had met on my first day, Anne. Anne smiled kindly at me. "Are you okay?" Her voice was fading in and out, and my vision was getting blurry. Why was the room spinning? She grabbed my arm, trying to steady me. "You should sit down," she said worriedly. I blinked. My head _really_ hurt. I felt my knees buckle, and everything went…

 _Black_.

I woke up in a bed. That's all I could figure out. My vision was blurry, but as I blinked it started to clear again. I was surprised to see Chelsey sitting at a chair next to my bed.

Her eyebrows were furrowed with worry, but she relaxed a bit when she saw me awake and alert. "Are you alright, America?"

I rubbed my temples. "What happened?" I asked tiredly.

She sighed. "Queen Amberly is extremely ill and cannot get out of bed, but you did wonderfully, America," Chelsey smiled gently at me when she saw my disappointed face. "If you weren't there, she could have laid there for quite a while. You may have saved her life… for the time being."

I nodded, and since my vision was clear again and I was very antsy, I sat up and hopped out of bed. Chelsey nearly tried to grab my arm to make me sit down, but then stopped.

"Be careful," she pleaded, her eyes worried. "I don't want you getting hurt again."

I nodded, smiled, and walked in the direction of what I assumed was the exit. I raced up a flight of step, wondering how long exactly I had been knocked out. I was still in my uniform, so I assumed I had a job to do… Was Queen Kriss still expecting those towels?

"Hi, America." I spun around, surprised by the unexpected voice.

Valleree stood behind me, a small smile lighting her face.

"Hello, are you okay?" I asked. I hadn't seen her very much since the attack a few weeks ago.

She chuckled quietly. "Aren't I supposed to be the one asking you that?"

I waved a hand away, smiling. "I'm fine." I opened my mouth to continue, but Valleree was looking over my shoulder at something, a happy smile on her face.

A lady was coming down the hallway, her small heels click-clacking with every step. She finally got to us, a huge smile on her face. She was the only woman I had met at the palace so far to have hair just a bit shorter than her shoulders, and she was dressed in a suit jacket and a pencil skirt. She looked really young to be a to have a high ranked job here at the palace, but knowing Valleree and Chelsey and how young they were, I wasn't too surprised by her age.

"Hi, Valleree," the woman said cheerfully. "Did you hear that Lady Keahna is coming tomorrow?" Her brown eyes were alight behind large glasses frames.

Valleree's eyebrows shot up. "Really? Are all of the Selected coming, or just her?"

The woman shrugged. "I think Kriss- I mean, _Queen_ Kriss invited only her." She bit her lip at her mistake. "They were close friends, right?" Lady Veronikka stifled a yawn, covering her mouth with the back of her hand. She blinked sleepily.

Valleree nodded, and I decided this was as good a time as any to jump into the conversation. "Excuse me, Miss, but who are you talking about?"

The lady with short hair started a little, as if just realizing I was here. "Oh, hello," she said with a friendly smile. "I'm Lady Veronikka." I glanced over at Valleree, who gave me a smile and nod. I looked back to the friendly lady. So this was Lady Veronikka. "What's your name?" she asked.

I responded, "America."

Lady Veronikka smiled. "America…" she said softly, as if tasting the word in her mouth. Knowing what she was doing, I smiled. It was interesting to watch her try to remember my name when there were hundreds of others stored in her head. "It's wonderful to meet you," she smiled, "and the lady whom I was referring to is Lady Keahna. She was one of the Elite, and a close friend of Queen Kriss."

I nodded, understanding. I, of course, remembered hearing about the Selection a few years ago, and I vaguely remembered a Lady Keahna who lasted pretty far in the whole process.

Lady Veronikka pushed her glasses up her freckled nose with her free hand. The other hand, I had just noticed, was holding a huge stack of papers.

Lady Veronikka looked furrowed her brows when she saw me looking at the papers. "Oh, I really must get to King Maxon," she worried, her eyes clouding over as she muttered. "I'm going to be late for the meeting, and then I have to write that paper…" The cloudiness in her eyes cleared for a moment, and she smiled at me. "It was nice meeting you, America. I'll see you later, Valleree." And then she bustled off, her skirt swishing behind her.

"So…" Valleree smirked. "She's friendly, huh?"

I nodded. "Yeah, but she seemed a little flustered."

Valleree crossed her arms. "I always tell her she shouldn't work so hard, but she's one of the king's advisors, and she adores her job." She rolled her eyes. "But that causes her to be really busy, and a little tired too. She loves reading, but the only time she ever has is late at night," Valleree explained. She glanced at her watch, a disappointed look crossing her face. "I'm sorry, I've got to go. I'll see you later!" I smiled and waved as she walked away.

I turned a corner and nearly ran into Chelsey.

"Oh! Sorry!" she laughed, straightening her dress. "But I was looking for you, America." She smiled. "King Maxon asked me to let 'the red-haired girl,'" she smirked and winked, "have a day off."

I frowned. I was grateful for a day off, but I was confused. "Why?"

Chelsea smiled. "He's says he's in your debt for being the first to find Queen Amberly, so you're being rewarded with a day off!"

"But that's my _job_ , Chelsey! What else was I supposed to do?"

Chelsey shrugged. "I don't know, but be thankful for a day off, okay? That was really generous from him, especially since he knows we're short on staff." She furrowed her brows, probably worrying about the limited staff.

"I'm of course thankful, but I don't think I really deserve this." Chelsey smiled again.

"Oh, you're wonderful, America!" she chirped.

"Thanks." I smiled. Chelsey was the kind of person who could make you feel good no matter what was happening. "But I've been meaning to ask you about something. When I was in the Royal Hallway, there were no guards, maids, or butlers. I was there by coincidence, so I don't know what would've happened to Queen Amberly if I wasn't there."

Chelsey frowned, wringing her hands. "That's odd, usually there are a few guards around that area. I'll make sure to tell someone, but I can't control the guard shifts. Thanks for telling me."

"No problem."

"Head Maid, Head Maid!" someone came rushing up behind Chelsey, and she turned around.

"What's wrong, Heather?" she asked calmly. I recognized Heather to be one of Queen Kriss's 24/7 maids. Heather was with Queen Kriss nearly all the time, so whenever I saw Queen Kriss, Heather was there.

"Queen Kriss is throwin' up all over the place!" Heather's voice had a distinct Southern drawl, and her big eyes looked panicked. "Daisy's up there tryin' t' help her, but she's…" Heather's voice broke. "We need help, ma'am."

Chelsea nodded, patted Heather's shoulder assuringly, and looked at me. "You have the whole day to do whatever you want," she smiled. "Use it well." And with that, she rushed off with Heather.

I stood there, watching them hustle away, and tried to think of what I could do on this free day. Write home? I dismissed the thought. Today was a beautiful day, and I didn't want to be cooped up in a room writing a letter. I looked outside. The palace didn't have a pool, but I highly doubted I'd allowed to take a swim even if it did. The gardens were pretty, and it was a beautiful day…

Having nothing better to do, I walked out of the Palace and walked down the steps. The flowers were bright, in full bloom, and I closed my eyes and inhaled. The smell of the roses were intoxicatiog...

"Hi America!" someone called me, and I snapped out of my thoughts. Mallory was standing in the roses part of the garden, next to a cute gardener. The gardener had a pair of shearing scissors in his hand, so while Mallory was distracted by me, he snipped a pink rose and stuck it in her hair.

Startled, Mallory jerked aside, but then laughed. She looked at the gardener adoringly, and I realized they must be couple.

Mallory turned back to me, and I was a little jealous by how simply beautiful she looked standing there in the garden. Her hair was in a bun under a cap, since it was the standard for maids, but a few strands of her blonde hair had escaped and curled around her heart-shaped face, framing it perfectly. The flower complimented her rosy cheeks (that was a usual thing, I suppose). She had a smudge of dirt on her nose, but her face was so happy it just looked cute. I smiled at my friend.

"Hey, Mallory," I waved.

"Where are you headed?" she called.

I shrugged. "I have the day off. I was just walking around."

Mallory sighed. "Lucky!" she complained. "I have to get back to work soon…" I was glad she didn't ask why I had the day off, because that would probably be a long and complicated story.

Mallory looked at something behind me. Her eyes widened. "Yeah, I'd better get back to work now." She pecked the gardener's cheek, whispering something to him with a smile. She straightened up, hitching her up her dress, and rushed towards the Palace. "Bye, America!" she called with a grin.

I smiled after her, waving, and then continued my way through the garden. Looking at the well-pruned flowers, I could tell that Marlee's boyfriend was one of many gardeners who tended the gardens. They did a wonderful job, though. The flowers were bright and beautiful, looking extremely healthy. I suddenly remembered Aspen, both relieved and disappointed that I didn't start crying at the thought of him. He would bring flowers for me all the time back home, and when he sent home money from the Palace, he always set a few coins apart from the others, and say that those coins were for me to buy a bouquet of flowers. Needless to say, I can't remember a single day where a bright bunch of flowers sat on a special vase on our table, considerably brightening up the whole room.

 _END OF CHAPTER FOUR_


	6. All Gone

Chapter Five

"Excuse me?" someone tapped me on the shoulder from behind. I turned around.

"You're a maid, right?" a woman asked. I looked at her and frowned.

"Er… yes, I'm wearing a maid's uniform. And I'm dusting." I gestured to the feather duster in my hand. The woman blushed.

"I'm sorry," she said apologetically. "My name is Keahna. I'm Kriss's best friend," she said this a little proudly, "but I'm seriously lost." She looked at me hopefully, her pink lips pulling up into smile. "Could you tell me where she is? Or even where _my_ room is?"

My eyebrows shot up. This was Lady Keahna? I looked at what she was wearing. Right now she was only wearing some jeans and a pretty flowy shirt, but I could tell from her tall, slim figure that she would look gorgeous in a dress.

I curtsied, trying to fix my mistake. I knew I had been extremely rude. "I'm terribly sorry, Lady Keahna."

She crossed her arms. "You should be. Treating me like some commoner, were you?" she said, her nose high in the air. I looked at her incredulously. She had been nice just a few seconds ago.

Seeing my face, Lady Keahna burst out laughing. "My goodness, you should see your face. Relax, I was only joking. But seriously, I am lost." She looked around at the Palace. "I can't believe how quickly I've forgotten my way around. I've been dying to be in one of those fancy ballgowns again ever since I last left the palace, but I can't seem to find my room." She sighed in frustration, running and hand through her thick black waves of hair.

"I'm here for Kriss, you see." She explained, her dark brown eyes now sad. "I assume you know horribly ill the Queen is?"

I nodded, and she sighed. "Yes, she's asked me to stay and visit." She smiled again, her eyes scanning the beautiful palace. "While I love the palace, the reason I'm here is a little…" she frowned, trying to find the right word. "Depressing."

I nodded, and I saw over her shoulder that Lou was walking this way. I wished I could stop and say hello, but Lady Keahna was counting on me. "Sure, I can bring you to your room. Where is it?"

Lady Keahna looked up, biting her lip. "I think… on the same floor as Kriss's. It looks over out at the gardens… Do you know where that is?"

I didn't, but I nodded anyway. Hopefully she would recognize which room was hers when we were on that floor. I led her to the main staircase that I had been shown on my first day, in the room where there were two generations of royal families. When Lady Keahna saw the black cloth ready to drape over King Maxon and Queen Kriss's picture, her hand went up to her mouth, and she frowned. I tried to ignore it, but everyone's hearts were heavy because of the Queen's illness, including mine.

I led Keahna up to the floor with the Royal Chambers. "Do you recognize where you are now?"

She looked around, a thoughtful look on her face. She smiled brightly. "Oh, yes, that painting was right next to my door. Thank you so much!" she bustled away, leaving me standing in the hallway with an amused expression on my face.

"Hey, America. What's so funny?" Raychell had come out of Queen Kriss's room. She smiled at me, but there was something clouding her eyes.

"Oh, nothing." I smiled. "The Royals and their friends are just really… interesting, that's all."

Raychell's eyes flashed. "You mean you've met more than one Royal?" She frowned. "This is my first time. I was called to get something for Queen Kriss… Why did _you_ get to assist the Royal Family before me?" she accused.

I shrugged, trying to ignore her accusations, and gave her a small smile. "I'm sure you'll get a promotion soon, Raychell." I smiled. "Your aunt is the Head Maid, y'know." I elbowed her lightly, sending her a wink.

Raychell still looked upset. "Right…" she muttered.

Before either of us could say anything else, a warning siren rang out, and we looked at each other for a fleeting second before racing down the hall towards the closest safe room. Chelsey had shown them to me after the first one, but I knew Maxon had talked her about showing us the saferooms first on the tour, if only for our safety. The servants' safe rooms weren't as nice as the one I had met King Maxon in, but they kept us safe.

Raychell and I kept running, and we turned _another_ sharp corner. This hallway had a side with windows, so it was extremely unsafe. But it was the closest route to the safe room.

Raychell screamed, and I focused. Ahead of us, a rebel stood, a gun in his hands. He was between us and the safe room. I wasn't betting very high on our chances to getting to that safe room right now.

I looked at him closer. He looked like a typical Seven or Eight, with fraying, muddy brown clothes and smudges of dirt all over his tanned skin. His hair was tangled and dirty, and his menacing grin revealed crooked, yellow teeth I could see even from twenty feet away.

Raychell screamed again when he lifted his gun, and then she pointed at me, "She's more precious to the king, get her first!" I stared at her, aghast. This couldn't be real… could it? Raychell would never do this to me!

I shut my eyes as the rebel pointed the gun at me, grinning. He knew he could just shoot Raychell after me, but I guess he decided he would give her some satisfaction before killing her, along with me. I prepared myself for the bullet, clenching my hands, but still standing straight and tall. It would come any second…

Raychell screamed, and my eyes flashed open, but not soon enough to see everything. I only saw her collapse right in front of me, when she had been standing right next to me…

The grimace on the rebel's face was growing wider and wider. I panicked. My eyes were wide and my legs, my legs were shaking.

I gasped as the rebel pointed his gun again, determined to kill both of us. I stumbled backwards, trying to get away from him. "Get down!" someone yelled, but it wasn't the rebel, so I ducked. The rebel, knowing he was about to be shot, pulled his own trigger, but thankfully his aim was bad.

I grunted in pain and collapsed onto the ground as I felt a searing pain in my right leg. I watched through blurry eyes as the rebel collapsed to the ground also. Raychell lay dead a few feet away from me, closer to the rebel. She wasn't moving at all, and I started crying. While she had almost sacrificed me, Raychell had tried to protect me in the end.

I knew the shot must have come from behind me, so I clenched my jaw and turned my head, trying to ignore the pain that was spreading up my calf. My vision was starting to go red, but I recognized the man who had shot the rebel. It was Avery, the guard who had been there when Queen Amberly collapsed. He stood a about ten feet away from me. I winced through tears as he started walking towards me to help, but a terrified scream sounded through the hallway. Avery sent me one last guilty look as he turned and ran in the opposite direction. I didn't blame him. Even now, I felt cold, as if I was already dead. The warm, sticky blood was spreading on my sock and on my dress.

I shut my eyes. My head was starting to feel faint. I opened my eyes again, hearing footsteps turn the corner. I couldn't see very well, but it looked like a man. I gulped. Would it be rebel, who would probably shoot and kill me on sight? Or a guard, who would probably leave me to die anyway...

Instead, it was King Maxon who turned the corner. He paused as he saw me lying on the ground, blood soaking my dress. His eyes widened, and then he ran up to me, scooping me up as if I weighed nothing.

"No, Your Majesty," I mumbled, my words slurred together as he ran. "Get to safety…" I looked over his shoulder as he ran away from a dead Raychell. I felt tears in the corners of my eyes, partly from the pain and partly from the knowledge that she was dead.

He ducked out of the way as a window shattered, but kept running. "If I can help it, I'm not letting another life die today," he said, determined. My face was so close to his that I could count every small freckle on his nose. His breath smelled vaguely of mint. Had he just brushed his teeth?

I shook my head slightly, confused at why I couldn't feel my leg anymore. "Please, it's not…" I blinked lazily. "... safe."

He smiled sadly at me, but I blacked out before he could say anything else.

I cursed myself as I woke up in the infirmary. Why was I always getting hurt or injured? I tried to remember what had happened before I blacked out.

Suddenly my eyes filled with tears. Everything came back to me. The rebel attack, getting cornered in a hallway by a rebel with a gun, getting shot, and….

I gasped slightly, my eyes darting around the room. Raychell? Where was she? Had she…?

I clutched my head as the hot tears started flowing. How could this have happened? I could've… I should've… A small sob racked my body. Remembering her lifeless body on the floor, I realized there was hardly any chance she was still alive. Even if she was, she would probably die soon. I whimpered slightly, embarrassed at how distraught I must be. Luckily, I was slightly separated from the rest of the patients…

I frowned. I remembered that last time I had blacked out, when Queen Amberly had collapsed, I had woken up in one of the smaller servants' quarters downstairs with Chelsey. Was I in the infirmary because I was wounded badly? I dismissed the thought. There must have been many other maids or butlers who were injured just as badly, or maybe even worse, than me. But as far as I could tell, I was the only Six in the infirmary.

Sniffing, I tried to remember how I had survived. I was injured, I remembered, on my leg. Someone had abandoned me… the guard Avery? My head hurt, and I rubbed my temples. Who had saved me, then, if I had been left?

My eyes widened when I remembered King Maxon. I still couldn't believe he had saved me, of all people, when I had been hurt and dying. Had he been the one to specifically order that I stay in the infirmary? And if he did, why?

I was starting to feel dizzy again, so I lay down. As I was starting to close my eyes, I heard commotion at the entrance of the infirmary, so I opened my eyes.

"No, _really_!" Chelsey stood at the door, blocked by a couple nurses and doctors. With her simple uniform and short height, she looked insignificant next to the professional doctors. But even from here, I could tell she was upset, and a little angry. Knowing Chelsey, I knew that the rare times when she got mad made up for her minimum height. "One of my maids are here," she told the doctors. "His Majesty himself was the one who ordered her to say here!" Her eyes scanned the beds, but I was in a far corner, and she probably couldn't see me. I tried to call out to her, but I felt so tired. "She has red hair, and blue eyes… her leg was shot." Chelsey glared at them, trying to draw herself up taller. "Please," her voice shook a little. "One of my maids is hurt, and I expect some respect, please."

One of the nurses stepped forward. "I remember that his Majesty bring someone in a few hours ago. The doctor who tended to her on His Majesty's orders isn't here right now, but I think she's over there." She pointed in my direction.

Pushing through the doctors, Chelsey hurried my way, giving me a weak smile when she saw me. She sighed, sitting next to me.

"Hi Chelsey," I tried to sit up so we could talk, but when I tried to move, shooting pains when up my leg. I winced, and Chelsey looked at me sympathetically. She looked regular except for some cuts on her face. I looked at a particularly nasty one and winced. That would leave a scar for sure.

Chelsey saw me looking and sighed. "A window shattered right next to me," she explained as she gingerly placed a finger on her cheek. "They said it'll go away eventually…" Chelsey looked doubtful. Her expression changed, and it was hard to read.

"I…" her voice wavered. "I heard you were there when… Raychell…" Chelsey's eyes filled with tears, and she wiped her eyes hurriedly. "I just want to say…" she sighed. "I don't know what happened," I felt a pang of guilt, "but I want you to know that I'm sure you did whatever you could." She gripped her apron, her face pale. I hadn't noticed before, but there were tear streaks on her cheeks. "I don't blame you," she said, trying to smile at me.

I felt guilty as she said this, but, feeling to weak to speak, I just tried to settle back in my bed. As I moved, shooting pains went up my leg, and I winced.

I sat up on the bed, despite the pain, and tried to get a good look at my leg. Chelsey covered it with her hand and shook her head.

"You shouldn't. It would only worry you more." She smiled at me to reassure that I was going to be fine. I nodded and looked down. A tear dropped on my bloodied maid uniform. I was crying.

I looked up at Chelsey, the tears still flowing down my cheek. She embraced me, wrapping her arms around me and rocked back and forth, patting my back; as if she was soothing me to sleep.

I started to cry even more.

Those cries became sobs, and those sobs became wails.

Yet, Chelsey didn't say anything. She just kept on patting my back, whispering every now and then, "It'll be alright, honey, it'll be alright."

But in all honesty, it wouldn't be. That's just the way life was.

 _END OF CHAPTER FIVE_


	7. Sunshine After the Storm

**Hello everyone!**

 **Thank you to everyone who is reading and likes my story, I'm so happy to see your positive responses! I can't believe how many people have reviewed, and that some people even favorited it! It always makes me giddy to see a review, so thanks to everyone who bothered and took the time to say something nice. I really appreciate it!**

 **Also, just a reminder, I'm writing this story with** communityvalerie, **who is also an author on** **fan fiction. She doesn't have any stories up (yet), but she's a wonderful writer and I really enjoy working with her.**

 **This chapter is a little weird, and you'll see some similarities to the first garden scene in** ** _The Selection._ They fight a little, but everything's fine again by then. I'd even go as far as to say that they get closer...**

 **But no more spoilers! It's time for a new chapter!**

 **-Very**

* * *

 **Disclaimer (again): Simple lil' me doesn't own the Selection series, all rights belong to the fabulous Kiera Cass.**

Chapter Six

[] ONE MONTH LATER []

I breathed in a fresh of cool air as I exited the palace. It was a beautiful night in Angeles, and a rare full moon bathed light over the peaceful garden. I had been dying to go outside after my leg had been injured, but Chelsey had forbidden me to anything besides the necessary work for the past month. I had finally convinced her to let me go outside today.

I walked, my right leg slightly dragging behind me, over to small bench next to a big green tree and looked over all the flowers. Without thinking about it, I slipped my feet out of my flats, pulled off my socks, and lay them on the damp, cool grass.

I sighed in relief. Closing my eyes, I imagined myself back home, in my backyard, sitting on a makeshift swing hanging from a huge oak tree. I took in a deep breath, fully relaxed for the first time since I'd been here. I opened my eyes again, and I looked at the stars. It amazed me how many they were, and how small and significant we must be compared to all of them.

My fists clenched as I remembered how Aspen and I would go in our backyard every night those few weeks he had been home. We would stare at the stars, make up our own constellations by connecting the stars, and simply be together. It was one of my favorites traditions of Aspen being home. We had been together, and that had been all that really mattered.

I started crying without realizing it. I wasn't sobbing, but the tears were coming fast, hot and angry. I sniffed and tried to breathe, reminding myself that Aspen wouldn't want me crying because of him. He might even tell me that now I wasn't tied down by him, so I could do whatever I wanted. I giggled softly. I would never do that, of course, but it was a funny thought.

My head turned towards the palace when I heard footsteps walking down the palace steps and I used the back of my hand to wipe away tears. Luckily it wasn't Chelsey, which I had worried at first. I didn't want to be called back inside on a beautiful night like tonight.

But I was surprised. The young king himself was walking down the steps, his hands in his suit pockets and his eyes trained on the moon. While he looked relaxed, I could tell he was deep in thought. I scooted on the bench, closer to the tree, so it would be harder for him to see me.

I watched as King Maxon sat on the edge of the fountain. He skimmed his fingers over the water, and the moon reflected on his dirty blonde hair. Right now, he looked the most peaceful I had seen him, if a little sad.

Something in the bush next to me rustled slightly, but King Maxon had heard. His eyes locked onto mine, and I blushed, but I couldn't tell if he could see my face or not in the dark.

"Who are you?" he called out, straightening himself. I stood up and walked out from under the shadow. He relaxed. "What are you doing here?" he asked. I was glad he didn't recognized me.

"Just enjoying the peace out here, Your Majesty. I can go inside… if you'd like." My face must have looked disgusted at the thought, because the King chuckled lightly.

"No, no," he protested. "I came out for the same reason." He fell silent, looking at me. "Are you the maid who was in the safe room?" Shoot, he _did_ recognize me.

I hesitated, and then nodded.

"You were also the one who was there with my mother, weren't you?" he asked, and I nodded again. He gestured for me to sit, so I did that too. "And the one I picked up during the attack, right?" I blushed, embarrassed that he remembered that specific. "What was your name again? Amy?"

"America, actually," I said a little snappishly. It was sort of annoying that we had to call everyone Your Majesty or Your Highness and they didn't even bother to know our names…. well, some of them didn't bother. Instead of correcting me on my tone, the king smiled.

"A fitting name." I frowned.

"What does that even mean?" I asked angrily, knowing I was acting way too casual with the king, but he seemed fine with it.

King Maxon shrugged. "It's not an insult. I assume you know the history of our country?" He waited for me to nod. "Well, back when Illea was called the United States we were also called America." He gave me a pointed look. "Although the U.S.A., as it was called, eventually received a bad reputation, it had once been a huge, powerful empire." I frowned. I didn't remember this part from our country's history, and I didn't understand what the king was getting at. "America had once been the center of the world, one might say, and it was quite aggressive and daring at its peak. You seem pretty daring, speaking to me like that." He gave me a small smile. "And you, my dear, seem to be there at quite a number of big events, aren't you?"

He gave me an impish grin, but I just glared at him.

"Look, your _Majesty_ ," I said his name sarcastically, and his brown eyes flashed, but I didn't care. I was getting sick and tired of having to call everyone Miss or Sir, or whatever just because they were considered 'higher' than me. "I appreciate you trying to understand me, but don't judge my name, because you _don't_ know me."

"I never said I did," Maxon cut in.

"And another thing," I said, raising my voice a bit so he couldn't interrupt again. "You called me your dear, but I'm _not_ your dear, and I never will be."

Maxon looked hurt, and a little angry. "Everyone at the palace, everyone in this whole country, is dear to me, including you," he snapped back. "You think I'm judging you? What about you judging me? I was just commenting about your name, and you just blew up!" He ran a hand through his hair, taking deep breaths and trying to calm himself. When he spoke again, his voice was lowered. "Also, if either of us want to stay out here, I suggest we both lower our voices, or we'll have to go back inside."

I opened my mouth to say something, and then closed it. I started realized what a big mistake I had just made. I shut my eyes, trying to hold back tears. He could kick me out if he wanted to, and he probably would. I had spoken to him disrespectfully, he could even have me _killed_ , for goodness' sake! Without meaning to, I started crying again. Wow, I was _really_ emotional tonight.

I heard Maxon curse under his breath. "Look, I, uh, I'm sorry for getting so mad," he stuttered. "You've got to stop crying." He muttered, "I've never been able to handle crying women."

I tried to wipe my tears away, giving a small laugh. "Wow, the king of Illea doesn't even know how to comfort crying girls."

Maxon's eyes widened, and his face was so comical I couldn't help but giggle again. "Wait, you heard that?" he asked, and I nodded, wiping away the last of my tears.

He sighed. "Were you crying because of me?" he asked.

I hesitated, and then shook my head. "Kind of, but it's not just you… everything's really overwhelming, and then my…" I stopped at husband, not willing to share information about Aspen and how hard it was without him here. Not only that, I also knew he would never be here again.

"Do you love someone?" he asked, and I stared. "It's just, I can tell by the look in your eyes." He smiled slightly, looking up at the moon. "So where is he? Back home?"

"Dead."

Maxon was quiet, and I wrapped my arms around myself, rubbing my cold arms.

"I'm very sorry," he said softly. "I don't know how it feels, but…" he frowned, and I thought I saw something glistening on the edge of his eye. "… but I probably will soon." I knew he was thinking about Kriss, because who else would he think about? I watched as he put his head in his hands, but I wasn't sure whether to leave or stay.

I scooted closer to him, gently putting my hand on his back. He stiffened at first, but relaxed just a few seconds afterward. I decided to risk it. "You can cry if you need to Your Majesty," I assured him softly, patting his back. He did, and I sat there with him the whole time until he said he had to go back inside.

I didn't know how to describe what I felt when he smiled at me before leaving, but I knew that King Maxon was much better than I originally assumed.

* * *

"Hey, America," Chelsey got my attention the next day with a smile, "do you think you could go vacuum in the Royal Chambers? It's Allison's job, usually, but she's feeling sick today."

I nodded. "Yeah, sure, where's the vacuum?" I'd never really vacuumed before, but it didn't look very hard.

Chelsey gestured to the closet. "It's in there, but I don't think you'll want to lug it up a flight of stairs, right? I think there's one in the supply closet at the end of the Royal Hall." After she told me where it was, she quickly hurried off to deal with some other maid-like duties.

I rushed up to the Royal Chambers, and spotting the cleaning closet immediately, I walked over to the closet and turned the doorknob slowly.

I heard a series of clicks and clacks on the marble floor. Valleree? I quickly turned around to find that it wasn't her, but some other important person just walking down the hall. I bowed my head and started to pull the heavy vacuum out of the supply room, dragging it along with me to the Royal Chambers.

The Royal Chambers. It was where the Royal Family slept, and it was always cut off to lower staff like me. I took in a deep breath. Hopefully I wouldn't break anything, but that wasn't a guarantee.

I slowly stumbled my way up to King Clarkson's chambers, quickly vacuuming around where I could. I dusted off shelves and polished windows. His room was convenient to clean since he didn't have a carpet floor.

Quickly, I hurried off to Queen Amberly's room, slowly opening the door. She wasn't in her room. I sighed and did the same exact thing that I'd done with King Clarkson's room, but with more intensity, since I did favor Queen Amberly over King Clarkson. She was just so caring to us maids.

Queen Kriss' room was bright and comforting, but a lingering melancholy feeling was draped over her room. It was depressing, and I felt uncomfortable, so I cleaned as fast I could. I dusted off what needed to be dusted and closed her windows.

The room just wasn't right with that energy flowing around. I immediately felt bad for King Maxon. He had to deal with this on top of his kingly duties. In fact, I felt bad for the whole Royal Family.

Lastly, I hesitated going into King Maxon's room. I took a deep breath and as fast as I could, I dusted off the shelves, re-arranged the fallen books that fell off his shelf, and vacuumed around swiftly. I had fun doing so. I started to hum a lullaby that my mother used to sing to me when I was a kid, and I started to dance around with the duster. The words came to me as the melody did. I sang happily in King Maxon's room, forgetting that I could've been watched. I was carefree and relaxed. I sang and sang my heart out, to a reasonable volume of course, and skipped along wiping windows. I giggled, spinning my long skirt around in a circle, singing my favorite part of the lullaby.

A small "creak" came from the door and I instantly stopped, embarrassed out of my mind. Not helping to my situation, it was King Maxon, smiling to himself at the frame of the door.

"Excuse me Miss America _Singer,_ what brings you to my room? Much less, what brings you to my room singing like a happy bird in the morning?" He asked and broke into laughter after he finished his sentence.

My face had lit up like a stoplight, and my voice was wavering. "I, uh… I was relaxed, I'm sorry, Your Majesty." I confessed, stumbling over my own words. Maxon sighed, and came over to me, placing his hand on my shoulder.

"Don't be. You sing well. And my compliments to your last name, it suits you." He replied softly. I nodded, gripping the vacuum handle tightly. "Again, feel free to sing. The Palace is always quiet on lazy days. It was nice to near a lovely voice." said Maxon. He seemed sad, but then he gave me a small smile. "Also, there's no need to call me 'Your Majesty' when it's just us. I think we're well acquainted by now, so you can call me King Maxon."

I smiled, pleased to finally be allowed to address someone regularly. When King Maxon's expression turned sad again as he looked towards Queen Kriss's adjoining bedroom, I spoke up, finally managing to speak normally. "Are you worried? I mean, about Her Majesty, Queen Kriss?"

He looked at me as if he was astounded, but his eyes were a tad melancholy. "I've already let her go inside. I know she won't be able to make it. The doctor says that the baby would be alright, but if we want a healthy baby boy, we'll have to let go of Kriss- I mean, Queen Kriss." He said. He instantly realized his mistake. He revealed the gender of the baby.

I, for one, was overjoyed, but the news of Queen Kriss threw me off. Still, a smile fought its way onto my face. "Oh, a baby boy! Your Majesty, I'm so happy for you!" I said, but I didn't forget the Queen's situation. My face turned somber, the smile leaving. "But I still wish the best for the Queen."

He smiled, trying to dismiss my more depressing comment. "Don't tell anyone, okay?" He said, referring to him revealing that the baby was a boy. He ran a hand through his dirty blonde hair, messing it up. "Kriss always nagged at me that I couldn't keep a secret. Well, she was right." Maxon replied with a sheepish grin. I nodded, smiling. I bowed and unplugged the vacuum, packing up. Maxon's face was confused.

"Oh, why are you leaving?" He asked, grabbing my arm softly.  
I looked at him. He must have forgotten I was a maid with other jobs to complete. "I'm a maid Your Majesty… I mean, King Maxon." He smiled when I used his name, as did I. "I have the whole Palace to take care of. You've forgotten already." I said, smiling brightly. He bit down on his lip, embarrassed. "Right. Sorry," He let go of my arm. I bowed and left the room swiftly. I didn't dare look behind me. Did he actually show interest in me? Nonsense!

I couldn't hold in my laughter.

I was so ashamed of myself to think this, but the King of Illea was such a goofball.

 _END OF CHAPTER SIX_


	8. Love, Lost

**Hello, I'm back again!**

 **Here's the newest chapter. I feel like this one's slightly shorter, but I don't know.**

 **By the way, at the end of this chapter, there is a scene that is NOT from America's Point of View, unlike the rest of the story. That scene is italicized and also after a page break, so hopefully it'll be easy to know when it's not her PoV. Next chapter will be back to America describing the scene of events, but be prepared if in future chapters it switches to no one's PoV. I'll try to remind you when a chapter like that comes up, but there will probably be very few anyway, so don't worry.**

 **Also, please, review! They really do make my day, even when it's something short or small. The more reviews I receive, the happier I become, and the more I write! It's an endless circle of awesomeness, people, so please review! :)**

 **Please read and enjoy!**

 **~Very~**

 **Disclaimer: Kiera Cass owns the Selection, not me.**

* * *

Chapter Seven

[THREE DAYS LATER]

It was just a regular day for the servants;

The morning rush of breakfast, daily cleaning of the bottom floors of the Palace, the rush of lunch, daily cleaning of the middle floors of the Palace, tea for the guests and Royal Family, laundry hour, the daily cleaning of the upper floors of the Palace, the large rush of dinner, and the final clean-up, and with that the day would end, peacefully.

But today was different.

The morning was gloomy, and breakfast was drowsy. The servants lingered around the Palace with grim expressions on their face. And the same expression was on mine.

Queen Kriss gave birth late at night in the hospital wing, but she was in critical condition, about to die. I had heard this from a fellow maid named Renee, but even as a newer maid I knew she was a gossip, so I didn't know what to believe anymore.

True to her claims, though, King Maxon was looking rather miserable. His hair was messy, his face pale, figure skinny, and there were heavy bags under his eyes. Queen Kriss' condition worsened in the afternoon, and her family had arrived to visit her.

A tap on my shoulder kicked me out of my dreamland state. I turned around to see a dispirited Valleree.

"Hi America," She said. Even her tone brought my struggling levels of happiness down even further. "Why are you so downcast today Vall?" I asked her. Her normally perky mood was now a heavy net of gloom, cast around those who were near her.

"Queen Kriss." She replied quietly. I nodded.

"So what…" I hesitated. Was I allowed to ask about things like this? I did want reliable answers, and Valleree seemed a pretty reliable person to ask. "What exactly happened?"

Valleree sighed. "Well, you heard about her giving birth, right?" I nodded. "They were almost positive she was going to die in childbirth," she explained. "But Queen Kriss pulled through." A ghost of a smile appeared on her tired face. "The strain was too much though," Valleree bit her lip before continuing. "They suspect she'll die soon, possibly sometime this week…" she trailed off, and I felt even worse, if that was possible.

Valleree brightened a bit, after a minute of depressed silence. "But there is something sweet…" she gave me a small smile. "Once Queen Kriss got to hold her baby, she hasn't let go since." She cocked her head thoughtfully. "In fact, I think she's resting in her room right now…" a mischievous glint came to her eye, and she was (kind of) back to her her normal self. "If you want, I could bring you up to meet him… and her, of course."

My mouth formed a perfect 'O'. "Are you serious?" I asked. "Will she actually let me?"

Valleree smiled. "Kriss doesn't usually like to show off, but her baby boy is an exception. I'm sure she'd love to show him to everyone she can." She gestured for me to come with her, and I couldn't do anything else but follow her, a stupid grin on my face.

We finally arrived at the Royal Chambers, and I clutched my hands as I followed Valleree. She knocked on the door lightly, and Heather answered.

Heather bowed low to the ground, seeming embarrassed. "Oh, Lady Valleree," Heather said bashfully.

Valleree waved a hand dismissively. "Oh, I'm not a lady," she laughed lightly, and I was glad to see her back to her normal self again, if only for a while.

"Um…" Heather looked awkwardly from me to Valleree. "Would you like to come in?" she squeaked.

"Nope, I'd rather just stay out here, thanks," Valleree chirped.

Heather stared at her. "Um… excuse me, Miss?"

Valleree laughed. "We'd like to come in, please, thank you. I was just joking."

Heather looked flabbergasted, but she moved out of the way and opened the door widely for us.

I followed Valleree as she walked in briskly with a wide smile. I couldn't help but smile too. I couldn't believe I was meeting the Prince and future King of Illea.

Queen Kriss beamed at Valleree as she walked in, but her smile faltered when she saw me. "Uh… hello, Valleree. Who's this?" I curtsied and bowed my head to her and the small bundle in her arms. Although her hair was messed up and tangled, she had circles under her eyes, and her skin was pale, she looked the happiest I had seen her so far at the Palace, and her green eyes were the most crystal-clear eyes I had ever seen.

"Your Majesty, this is America," Valleree introduced me, and I was grateful because I highly doubted I was able to form coherent sentences right now. "She's one of my favorite maids," Valleree smiled, "and I decided I might as well bring her along to visit you, because she was quite worried about you."

Queen Kriss smiled tightly, clutching her baby boy. "Well, as you can see…" she blinked twice and jerked her head slightly. "I'm fine, and so is little Chase here." Queen Kriss smiled fondly down at her son.

But Valleree looked concerned as Queen Kriss's chin started to tremble, "Are you alright?" she asked. Queen Kriss blinked, opening her mouth to say something. She then slumped in her bed, squishing her newborn son, who promptly started crying. Valleree rushed forward, along with me, and she propped Queen Kriss up. "Take the baby," she ordered me, and called out to Heather, "Get help!"

Her dark skin pale with fright, Heather dashed away.

I held the baby closely to me, as if it were my own. I looked at him adoringly, pleased to see him open his eyes and stop crying for a minute. His eyes were identical to his mother's, a deep, clear green, but his hair was a dirty blonde like his father's. He wasn't very chubby yet, but that was only because he was a newborn baby. He would develop some fat later on, which would probably make him even cuter.

Looking at him, my heart panged a little, and I realized that Chase reminded me of Adelynne. I missed her so much. I hurt just to think about her, but the situation with Queen Kriss was wearing me down ever so slowly.

I looked back up, coming back to reality from a loud noise. Valleree winced as the door flew open, revealing a mad-driven King Maxon, followed by Lady Veronikka, Lady Keahnna, a doctor and her assistant nurses, and several guards.

Maxon mouthed a few words to himself and brought himself to Queen Kriss. "Kriss, it's going to be alright, stay alive, please…" He whispered hoarsely. Lady Keahnna was about to approach Kriss' bed, but Lady Veronikka's arm stopped her from going too close. "It's their moment. Let him be." She addressed the people surrounding Maxon and Kriss gently, her voice soft but firm. I nodded, getting her point, and quickly tapped Valleree's shoulder. She turned around. Her face was pale and her hair had fallen in front of her face. "We should stay outside," I said to shared a look with Lady Veronikka and Lady Keahna had gotten the message.

"Let's wait outside everyone." Valleree said gravely, quickly exiting Queen Kriss' room through the door. Everyone else slowly followed, and I was the last to go.

A doctor moved a few people aside to check up on Queen Kriss' health. Seeing the reaction on her face, it was probably worse than they expected it to be.

King Maxon's voice spoke up. "Doctor… She's going to make it, right?" The doctor placed a hand on his shoulder and shook her head.

"I'm afraid not." Her face was grave and serious. "But I would advise you to say your last few words to the Queen before she passes."

I stood there, rocking the baby back and forth, leaving the room as quietly I as I could when I had a whimpering baby in my arms. My heart nearly broke again when I realized this baby in my arms would never know his mother.

The doctor bowed her head at me as I left. She must have thought I knew that it was the right thing to do.

* * *

 _Maxon held onto Kriss' hand tightly. He grasped her hand as if it was the only thing keeping him alive. He loved her, and he knew she loved him. But it was too early to lose her. It was too early to let her go. Tears came flooding to his face. Unable to hold them back, he let them flow down his cheek. Maxon's words were drowned by his sobs. "Kriss, don't leave us. Don't leave me. It's too early for you to go away… I love you so much, please stay…" Maxon cried, burying his head into the white sheets of her bed._

 _Kriss' pulse was dimming. Her bright face was beginning to become pale as snow. Maxon's eyes grew wide with fear and worry. Her hand was cold. He placed his hands on her face softly, trying to say his last words to her. As the tears wouldn't seem to stop, he barely managed to whisper, "I love you."_

 _Before she drew her final breath she softly replied. "I'm so sorry Maxon…"_  
 _And her bright smile would still be remembered as she passed away peacefully._

 _END OF CHAPTER SEVEN_


	9. Something New

**Hello, everyone!**

 **Sorry for the late post, but I have been really, really busy. At least it's here now, though!**

 **I would like to compliment those who noticed my flaw with the castes. You have very sharp eyes! I am informing everyone, though, that I have always known of the flaw. It wasn't an early mistake that I realized later. Rather, it was a small mistake that I realized early on; before I had even published this story. I am very sorry for this discontinuity, but I was pathetically unable to imagine another way for America to get to the Palace. My only is excuse is this horribly logic: that after Aspen died, he was demoted back to a Six, with America along with him since she had married him. Again, I am very sorry, but I cannot change it now. I hope you can forgive me and still enjoy reading the rest of the story!**

 **Thanks to all the reviewers, again! If you enjoyed this chapter, or any other specific parts of the story, please please tell me. It only takes a minute to review, and I don't mind if you PM me either! I love all of those who review, and the more often I get reviews, it's more likely that I will write. And then the more I write, the more I post! Just wanted to throw that out there! ;)**

 **Have a wonderful day, week, month, year, and LIFE,**

 **~Very~**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own the Selection, Kiera Cass does.**

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Chapter Eight

[ONE DAY LATER]

The Palace wasn't the same without the late Queen Kriss. As I passed the staircase leading to the Royal Chambers with Valleree, Lady Veronikka, and Lady Keahnna, the black curtain was draped over the picture of Queen Kriss and King Maxon. Valleree buried her head in her hands mourning silently, since she wasn't one that cried openly, but Ladies Veronikka and Keahnna started to cry. Lady Veronikka cried softly and quietly, trying to be silent, immediately wiping her tears when they fell. Lady Keahnna started to sob, openly and desperately.

It wasn't until later when Valleree offered me a tissue when I realized I was crying. I didn't care about my maid's duties, where I had to clean, or how proper I had to be, I would've rather spent my time consoling my friends. Valleree stopped and sulked for a while before helping Lady Keahnna up when she started to cry a river and Lady Veronikka apologized at least sixty times before returning back to normal.

Kriss' family had left the morning of, and requested that she be buried in her family gravesite, and hold their own memorial service.

The Palace was gloomy as King Maxon returned from the funeral. He looked broken, his stare unfocused. His eyes were glazed over and he wouldn't respond to anyone except a few of his advisors, including Lady Veronikka. She was the only one who could get a response out of him, with her soft tone and soothing words. Valleree also talked with him later, along with Lady Keahna. I felt something stirring in stomach as I watched Lady Keahna and King Maxon talk. I frowned and clenched my fists when I saw King Maxon smile for the first time because of her, and then caught myself. I shook my head, turning away from the pair, and tried to convince myself that I didn't care about King Maxon's life.

And as I rocked his baby son back and forth in my my arms (no one had come to take him yet, and I didn't want them to), I wished with all my heart that that was true.

[] FIVE MONTHS LATER ~ []

I felt honored when Lady Keahna had pleaded with me to stop calling her 'Lady' all the time, saying it made her feel old. Lady Veronikka hadn't mentioned anything like that, but she was still so busy nowadays that I assumed she didn't really acknowledge me calling her a lady.

Valleree returned to her usual state, her sarcastic (yet humorous) personality, as well as Lady Veronikka, who was still busy as ever.

King Maxon had returned to his normal occupied self, but a piece of him seemed to be missing. He was now a bachelor, and he was quite young for a widowed king. And because of this, Princesses from all over the world visited the Palace and requested an audience with King Maxon.

Yet, to everyone's surprise, he turned them all down politely.

Queen Amberly, although she was still very sick, hated to see her son like this and often asked close friends to come over to see if it would suit his preferences more. It was the same as the Princess situation.

Instead, the 30 year old spent all the time in the world with his son, the young Prince Chase. King Maxon took his son all over the Palace. At the breakfast table on his lap, in the Royal Gardens, down in the kitchens to steal some sweets, and even in the music room to play un-toned tunes with him.

I missed my own daughter greatly, and seeing Chase and Maxon together made me want her with me again even more.

I had absent of Adelynne for over six months now, and I longed even more to see her. Yet, I still needed permission for her to be with me in the Palace, even if it was just for two days.

"Chelsey, is it possible that I could have my daughter come and stay with me at the Palace for at least two days? I miss her dearly, and seeing the King with his own son only makes it worse," I said. My heart was stricken when Chesley turned me down.

"I can't give you that permission." She said apologetically. "You'll have to ask the King himself, since you work under him as staff." I knew Chelsey felt horrible for not being able to grant me immediate permission to have Adelynne here.

"I'll do just that." I replied, nodding. I was determined.

"I'm sorry I can't just say yes here." Chelsey added in.

"It's fine, I don't blame you!" I said, laughing a bit. Chelsey smiled and pointed me to which room the King was in.

The music room.

I slowly picked up my feet and came over to the music door, hesitant to open the door. I took a deep breath and turned the doorknob.

Two heads turned around to greet me, one smiling, and one surprised.

"America!" King Maxon said excitedly. He was sitting on the piano bench next to a beautiful grand piano. I had to use all my strength to not rush to the piano and start playing and singing.

"Good morning, King Maxon," I greeted, closing the door behind me. Chase had grown so much since I had last held him as a baby.

"And good morning to you as well, Prince Chase." I said, bowing my head.

Maxon laughed and bounced his son on his lap. "This is Miss America Singer." He mused, waving at me. Chase pointed to me and started to giggle, which eventually made me blush.

"Ma-" He mumbled, clapping his hands together.

Maxon raised his eyebrow. It was highly uncalled for.  
"Ma-" Chase repeated, clapping his hands together once more. He called me "Ma," and I was honored. Yet I felt uncomfortable. Didn't "Ma" mean mom? Did he see me as his mother? Oh no, that would be complicated. But he's a baby, what would that make out of it?  
"No, no Your Highness, It's A-Mer-ee-cah!" I said, coming closer to him, smiling.

"Ma!" Chase yelled, determined. He banged his hand on the keyboard, and I winced. Maxon noticed, and he gently pulled his son's hand away.

"Can you play?" he asked with a small smile, referring to the piano. At first I wasn't sure if he was asking me, but then I nodded jerkily. He scooted over on the piano bench, gesturing me to sit with him.

I walked over and sat down next to him and Chase. "So what can you play?" Maxon asked, resuming to bounce Chase up and down on his lap. This helped me to relax a little, knowing that it wasn't just us, and his son was here.

I shrugged, answering his question. "Pop, classical… I can play a lot actually. It was my job before I was married." I explained.

King Maxon frowned, and he momentarily stopped bouncing Prince Chase. "You were a Five? You married down?"

I nodded, a little miffed that the fact that I married down a caste mattered.

"So you made a living on singing and making music?" Maxon looked surprised.

I frowned. "Yes…" He noticed my contempt, and shook his head.

"Oh, I'm sorry, was that rude of me?" He looked at me apologetically. "I was just surprised, that's all. You seem so happy with working as a Six that I never suspected you were once a Five." He smiled. "Most people would be a little disgruntled if they had to move down a caste."

I blurted out something that occasionally crossed my mind. "Why don't you get rid of them, then?"

Maxon stared at me. "Excuse me? Do you know hard that would be?" Maxon ran a hand through his hair as if the thought already exhausted him.

I shook my head, chiding myself for bringing up the subject and being stupid enough to let a huge dream of mine like that come out. "I… never mind, Your Majesty. Would you like me to play something for Chase?"

He frowned when I called him "Your Majesty," but didn't say anything else about the subject. He nodded. "Sure, what do you think he'd like?"

I smiled, thinking of a fun little song that my mother had sung to me when I was little. I started playing some notes, "This one." Maxon bounced Chase up and down as the two of them listened to me play, I started singing, my voice tying in with the melody beautifully.

Before I knew it, I was singing my heart out (thankfully the music room had soundproof walls), playing my very best, and dancing as well as I could while playing piano. I turned to see what Chase thought, and caught Maxon staring at me.

Looking into his chocolate brown eyes, my hands slowly stopped playing. We just stared at each other for a minute, taking each other in. My heart was thumping hard, but I couldn't tell if it was from singing and playing, or from whatever… this… was.

I finally tore my eyes away when Chase suddenly yelled out, waving his arms around. I changed my gaze to my lap. My cheeks felt warm, and I could tell Maxon felt uncomfortable.

"Well…" King Maxon cleared his throat. "Your playing is exceptional, almost as good as your voice."

"Thank you," I whispered graciously. I had received many compliments before, usually after a performance, but none had made me feel quite so… wonderful. I looked up, smiled back at him, and then I finally remembered why I had come here in the first place. "Oh, I had a question for you," I was glad for a change of subject, and it seemed like the King was too.

"Ask away," he said happily.

"I have a daughter," I told him. "I was wondering if I could have her visit for awhile? She wouldn't bother anyone, and-"

Maxon interrupted me with a sigh. "I'm sorry, America, but that's not allowed."

My heart plummeted. "Why?"

Maxon shrugged. "No one else is allowed to, and your daughter would probably be a distraction. I can't have random children running throughout the castle, America. It's the rules. I can't change the rules." Maxon looked thoughtful, and he sent me a joking smile. "Well, actually, I can, but that's not the point." I think he was trying to let me down easy with that joke, but I wasn't falling for it.

I crossed my arms, looking at him angrily. "You're saying that Adelynne would be a distraction? What about Chase?" The Prince looked at me, recognizing his name. "You've barely done anything the past few months! Have you seen your advisors? Lady Veronikka looks exhausted!" This, at least, was true, but I don't think that was necessarily his fault. A few days ago, she had gushed about a series she had stayed up all night reading while I had been dusting in her room, but I wasn't telling him that.

King Maxon's eyes were narrowed, angry, and a little bit upset. "First of all, America, I'm not giving in. Adelynne can _not_ come to the castle. And second," he frowned, "you have no right to speak to me that way. I am your king."

I huffed angrily as something in me exploded. "What?" I exclaimed, my voice getting higher and higher as I spoke. "First you told me I could call you by your real name, and now you're getting angry just because I got a little upset?"

Maxon looked deathly calm as he sat with his son, who was still babbling happily to himself, but his eyes held a different story. "I suggest you lower your voice," he said, his voice low and controlled, unlike mine. "If you don't I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

That was the last straw. I sighed in frustration, glaring at Maxon. "Fine, then." I stood up. "I _will_." I turned and ran towards the door. As I was about to shut it, I heard Maxon call, "Hold on, America!"

I ignored him. I wasn't sure what to feel when no one followed me. The door stayed closed, and I should have felt angry, but I mostly felt sad, and a little disappointed.

Chelsey ran up to me, a huge smile on her face. "What'd he say? Is she coming?" Her smile disappeared when she saw a tear run down my cheek, and she enveloped me in a hug.

"Shh, it's okay, you don't need to cry. I'm sure you'll see her soon," Chelsey rubbed my back soothingly. I started crying more. "I know it's disappointing, but King Maxon isn't trying to hurt you." I pulled away from her, wiping my eyes on my sleeve. "Why don't you write home to her?" Chelsey suggested softly as she started leading me down the hall. I nodded, and she smiled. "Wonderful," she said gently.

I followed her through the Palace to my room. She gave me some paper and a pen, telling me that writing to my daughter would help. I only nodded before going inside my room, flopping on my bed, and starting to cry again.

I kept thinking that Chelsey was only partly right on why I was crying.

* * *

 _To May,_

 _I'm kind of angry now, but mostly disappointed. I asked King Maxon if I could have Adelynne visit for a couple days, but he turned me down, saying that I had a job to do and that my daughter would be a distraction. But thankfully, he had the decency to say sorry for saying no and I'm glad he did, because I had been so disappointed that things could've gotten very, very ugly very, very fast…_

 _I hear a new famous artist is coming to paint a picture of King Maxon and Prince Chase, but I don't know who it is yet. Do you know? Since you're in the artistic business (is that a thing?) I hoped that maybe you would hear some news._

 _Although I'm disappointed Adelynne isn't coming, I have to admit that King Maxon is right. If Adelynne were here, I wouldn't be able to concentrate on any of my 'maidly duties.' Even now, she fills my every thought. I can't believe I'll be missing her fourth birthday, though! How is she? What cute things has she done while I've been gone?_

 _I miss you all a ton, but I have to go now. Send me some letters soon!_

 _Love,_

 _America_

* * *

I sighed as I put the letter in an envelope, placing it lightly on my desk. In my letter I sounded much happier than I actually was. But everything in my letter was true. I knew Maxon was right, but I didn't like it.

I had decided to use the paper Chelsey had given me to write a letter to May, not Adelynne, but I knew that May would probably read it to Mom and Adelynne anyway.

I drummed my fingers on my desk and stared at the wall. I was crushed that Adelynne couldn't come, but it wasn't fair. King Maxon always had Prince Chase around and he avoided desk work at all costs just to play with his son. It wasn't fair!

But at the same time I knew that I had a job to do at the Palace, and no one else was allowed family members unless they were higher in rank, such as Valleree and Keahnna. Not even Lady Veronikka could request family members over at the Palace, but I knew she wouldn't even if she could. She had family living close by, and she visited them often. Though, Valleree had a loophole which to me, again, wasn't fair.

My thoughts drifted to Maxon, and my heart twinged. I felt guilt for exploding at him, and if I didn't apologize soon, I'd probably get into big trouble. Glancing at the clock, I realized that if I wanted to apologize I would have to do it soon. Or else, I'd have to request an audience with him in his room, and that frightened me quite a bit. I sighed, placing my pen down.

Was this really all worth it? Working in the Palace, away from home? Away from everything I had dear to my heart?

I suddenly remembered why I accepted in the first place. I _needed_ to escape from Carolina for a bit. I remembered what kept me here, and who kept me safe and happy.

My friends.

Lady Veronikka, who would stress over the smallest things when she saw me unhappy, who would always recommend the most wonderful book series that I would just fall in love with. Everyday she'd make me feel accounted for, that I was an important part of Illéa. I would always feel bubbly and happy inside near her, since her stunning affection would always lift me up if I was ever feeling down. Lady Veronikka was simply like a life coach. Pushing me along, and reminding me to never give up.

There was Valleree, who would always stick up for me, and give me the "sarcastic comment of the day" making me gasp for breath when she told me the comment. She would never seem sad or bothered around me, just to keep me happy. She could be a bit snappy, but I couldn't blame her. I could be even snappier. Her radiating confidence always made me feel "loud and proud." She was my manager, constantly urging me to not back down when I don't have to.

Even Keahnna, who seemed so aloof at first, but would always take my problems into serious matter. She was also very caring about the matters occurring daily much to her. She cared for me in so many ways, and I still owe so much to her and yet she would never let me pay her back. She would always be there for me, especially when I'm sad. She always reminds me to look on the bright side of things, and tells me to always be optimistic. Keahnna was my therapist. She would take in consideration of my feelings, making me feel wanted.

Chelsey would always support me, cheer me on from the sidelines, and encourage me when I feel unsure. I loved how she would check up on me and tell me to "smile more with my chin up" to show off my confidence, but I was pretty sure she just wanted other people to be aware of my "gorgeous" (according to me at least) hair. Chelsey was my cheerleader. As weird as it sounded, she definitely was. In my mind, Chelsey would be the ultimate #1 fan. Always caring for me, always there for me, and always listens to me.

Who was I to complain? I never recalled thanking any of them properly. I immediately felt horrible. I was so lucky to have them by my side, that it was my motivation to make them proud of me. I needed to prove myself worthy of their friendship.

I needed to prove how much I needed them.

And to also prove how much I loved them.

 _END OF CHAPTER EIGHT_

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 **I hope you enjoyed! Again, reviews are much appreciated! They make my day!**


	10. One More Happy Ending?

**Hi everyone!**

 **I've gotten reviews, so I decided to post another chapter, even if it is much shorter. Now you see how reviews pay off! :)**

 **What would you prefer, though? Would you rather I post really long chapters a long time apart? Or really short chapters in a quicker time?**

 **Thanks to all the reviewers! You're all fantastic, and getting a review warms my heart. You're all saying I'm a great writer, and I'm very grateful for this, but don't forget that I'm writing this with another author,** _communityvalerie_ **! She's a writer on wattpad and on fan fiction, and she's done so much work with me that I can't thank her enough! This is just a reminder.**

 **I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

 **~Very~**

 **Disclaimer: I definitely don't own the Selection, this all for fun. Kiera Cass owns the wonderful series!**

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Chapter Nine

I quickly decided to get the apology over with. I felt bad enough that I screamed at him in front of little Chase, and I owed it to him (and the country) to make amends. It was even harder than I thought. I sighed as I came closer to his door.

What if he didn't want to even see me? What if he was thinking of ways to get rid of me?

The build-up was killing me.

When I finally got to his door, I hesitated at first, but eventually I raised up my hand to knock on his door. A heard a stack of books fall over and a worried reaction. Was this a bad time? Oh, how I regretted this.

But it was too late for regrets.

King Maxon opened the door. He looked stressed. I slightly shifted myself to peer over his shoulder, to see if Prince Chase was in the room, and I was a bit disappointed when I saw that he wasn't.

"Oh America, hey- I mean, hello." He said awkwardly, scratching the back of his head. I looked up at him, instantly blushing. He seemed so… normal when he was laid back. I was shocked that I was even able to see this side of him. Is this what Queen Kriss fell "head over heels" for? I could kind of see why.

"Oh, well… I just wanted to say I'm very sorry for when I yell- no, screamed at you. I didn't mean it, really. I just missed my daughter and I guess I just let my emotions get the best of me," I stared off, curtsying immediately, "though, I didn't think that you'd take it lightly, so if my presence is bothersome to you, I will stay away from maidly duties concerning you." I implied as I stayed in my deep curtsy.

I heard him sigh, and I was frightened for my life. My heartbeat increased by a landslide and I thought that it would pound out of my chest. I gulped nervously, the thought of my consequences was fleeting off any self-esteem I had left in myself.

Instead, he started to laugh.

He _laughed._

I shot up straight, looking at him as if he were a madman.

"Y-Your Majesty! Are you a-alright?" I asked quickly. My eyes darted from the beginning to the end of the hallway. Only two guards stood there, and they weren't swayed at all at the King's sudden outburst of laughter.

"America, did you think that I would be so angry that you yelled at me?" He paused for a minute, thinking about how he could rephrase his statement. "Don't worry, I'm not mad at you, but I still can't let you bring your daughter here." I looked down, disappointed, but I couldn't blame him for doing his job. He cleared his throat, grabbing my attention. His kind eyes met mine, and if I could become even more red, I would've. I probably looked like a tomato with all this blushing going on.

"The argument was partly my fault, of course." He sent me an apologetic look. "I suppose I got upset in that moment because I had realized we were having a fight. It was surprising that you had yelled at me… I'm just used to…" he scratched the back of his next. "Well, everyone doing what I want all the time." He saw my face and smiled sheepishly. "You're probably wondering how I manage to walk with my head so big." He made a funny face, and I couldn't help but laugh. He chuckled awkwardly too, and furrowed his brow, but then his eyes brightened.

"Hey, to show you that I'm not mad at you, why don't I take you to the beach with Chase? I've been missing the ocean, and I just thought taking little Chase would be a bonus." He shrugged. "Usually my regular maids and butlers would come, but I'm sure you'd be allowed to come if I said so. Plus, he thinks your his 'Ma' now, so don't let him down, alright?" Maxon chuckled as he gave me a reassuring wink.

I chuckled nervously to seem natural and relaxed (I really wasn't). This hadn't been what I'd expected. To be honest, I thought he would laugh at me as if I was pathetic and send me out of his sight. I was so terrified of something that seemed so petty to him. Really, what _did_ he take me for?

"Sorry, America," He glanced at his watch. "I can't talk right now. I have to go meet someone for lunch. It was nice talking to you… Even if I did most of the talking. See you later." He said as he smiled brightly and quickly headed down the corridor.

I wasn't sure how I felt about this side of the King. He was too cocky, I couldn't take him seriously.

As I stood alone in the tall, pristine hallway, I realized I had nothing to do after confronting King Maxon and apologize. Without hesitation, I resided at the nearest supply closet and picked up a duster.

If I wasn't going to do anything, at least I could so something so that tomorrow wouldn't be as busy.

 _END OF CHAPTER NINE_

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 **Please, please REVIEW! Anything you want to say! I'll try to post again soon!**


	11. To The Beautiful You

**HELLO EVERYONE!**

 **I'm going to make this short, since I doubt many people read these author's notes.**

 **I am SO SO SO sorry that I haven't updated in so long. Seriously, I could've updated like a week after my last update, but then my stupid computer wouldn't let me put the document on fanfiction. Then I forgot to try again for like three months, and now here we are. But do not fear! I have about five more chapters ready to upload after some edits, and so the chapters will be coming - hopefully - quite quickly after this.**

 **Thanks to all those who have stayed/waited/followed/read/reviewed/even glanced at my story. I really appreciate it.**

 **I guess I kinda broke my promise about keeping this "short." Oops. At least the chapter is long...?**

 **Before I forget: Review. Review. And also, did I mention, Review? Just a simple "I like this" works. It motivates me.**

 **ENJOY THE STORY! I hope this chapter suits your needs!**

 **~Very~**

* * *

 **Chapter Ten**

"America! America!" Someone shouted my name gleefully the next day. I turned, looking for the owner of the excited voice. Chelsey, her hair unkempt, hurried down the hall towards me with a huge smile. A few other maids, who had been cleaning the hallway with me, looked up. Chelsey, smiling sweetly, politely asked them to continue their work. When the then embarrassed maids turned around, Chelsey grabbed my hand.

"C'mon, I have something I need to talk about with you," She told me as she pulled me into one of the rooms.

It was a small parlour, so we sat on the couch. I sat rather hesitantly. "Are you sure we're allowed to be in here?" I asked, and Chelsey waved a hand.

"It'll be really short, don't worry." Her eyes twinkled as she smiled. "But you'll never guess what happened!"

I raised an eyebrow, amused. Chelsey looked like she was about to burst with excitement. "What?"

"Alyse's father died. She has to leave!"

My smile disappeared quickly. I remembered all the death I had experienced in my life… my father, Aspen, and recently Raychell. I felt a spark of guilt at the thought of Raychell. Had she even crossed my mind the last couple months? It had been awhile, but I felt like I was disgracing her memory. " _Chelsey_." I gaped at my friend. How could she be happy about something like this? "How exactly is this good news?"

Chelsey's eyes widened in realization. Her grin turned into a frown. "Oh… that sounded so mean," she groaned. "I'm sad for Alyse, of course, but her having to leave, well… it's good news for you." Chelsey sighed and winced. "That also sounded bad, huh?"

My lips quirked up, despite myself. "Who's Alyse?" I asked curiously. It was strange that a woman who I didn't even know was influential on me. "And why is it good news that she's leaving?"

Chelsey smiled again. "Well, Miss Alyse was Chase's nanny. With her leaving, there's a spot available for a couple weeks until she gets back." Chelsey's eyes twinkled mischievously. "Guess who got the job?"

I grinned widely. It couldn't be… "Me?" I wondered incredulously.

Chelsey nodded enthusiastically.

"But… why?" I asked.

Chelsey leaned back in her seat. "Well, Maxon asked me to recommend someone. I mentioned you, and how you have experience with children. He seemed interested in you, and he specifically told me that he wanted someone younger for the job." She grinned. "So. Do you want it?"

"Well, of course!" I remembered the prince. He was adorable, and I was pleased Chelsey had recommended me. I was even happier that Maxon seemed to want me for the job too. I hoped that maybe being Chase's nanny would help me with missing Adelynne.

"Great!" Chelsey exclaimed cheerfully, and then stood up. "I'll be taking you to Prince Chase now. Today's your practice day, and I'll be showing you the ropes, as they say." I stood up too, and followed as she led me out of the room and through the Palace.

I was mostly excited, but part of me worried if I was really qualified. How would I be able to take care of the prince? Personally, I didn't think I really had experience, even though I loved and took care of my own daughter. Sometimes I even felt as if my mother spent more time with Adelynne than I did.

I let out a sigh as I tried to keep up the pace behind Chelsey - for such a petite woman, she really was fast. I was really overthinking this. If Chelsey thought I could do this, and Maxon agreed, I couldn't be that bad, right? I already had a job at the Palace, after all, so this was really only a promotion. Some more money (I hoped), more time with Prince Chase…

 _And more time with Maxon_ , a part of me added happily. I clenched my fist as my cheeks warmed. As we turned a corner, I wondered what I was thinking. Maxon was my… acquaintance? Friend? _More like my boss and king_. I thought guiltily with a slight shake of my head.

Chelsey stopped suddenly, and I nearly crashed into her. I shook my head of my thoughts and looked around. Without realizing it, I had followed Chelsey to the Royal Chambers.

Chelsey confused my distracted thoughts for worry. She put hands on my shoulders with a warm smile, even though I was taller than her.

"You'll be fine." She told me soothingly, a confident smile on her face. "Maxon and I chose you for a reason." Then, she reached out and opened the door in front of us.

Once inside, I nearly gasped. The room was huge! A huge, round playpen was suspended a couple feet above the ground, so it looked like a very large circular crib that stretched six feet in diameter. I knew it was Chase's play area because many plushy toys were littered around inside it. The rest of the room, however, was spotless. There was a couch and rocking chair in the corner and I saw a door leading to a large bathroom. Wide windows let in tons of light, and the walls were decorated with pictures of animals and the ocean. I smiled. The room was filled with warmth and comfort. I could imagine working in here.

"Alyse?" Chelsey called out. The room was big enough where we had to call out, and I didn't know how many more there could be around here. From the next room, a woman rushed in, a worried look on her face.

"What?" She saw us and breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, Miss Chelsey." She gave us a strained, but still kind, smile. "How may I help you?" Her eyes were clouded and rimmed with red, and it was obvious she had been crying. Probably about her father. She was older than Chelsey and me, probably around forty, and her hair had a couple of grey streaks in it.

"Oh, I'm just showing America Singer around." Chelsey told her. "Where's Prince Chase?"

"King Maxon and Lady Keahna took him to the gardens for a picnic lunch."

My heart clenched. I grit my teeth. "Lady Keahna?" I asked with a frown, confused.

Alyse nodded. "Yes, King Maxon invited her to come with him to a picnic in the gardens with Chase. I think." She added hastily.

I blinked, then glared in another direction. I couldn't describe what I was feeling, which only made me more confused and angry. Was I disappointed that Chase wasn't here? Or was I more disappointed that _Maxon_ wasn't here? "Right." I mumbled.

In the corner of my eye, Chelsey shot me a concerned look. She turned to Alyse. "Is it okay if I show Miss America around Chase's rooms and yours?" Alyse nodded.

"Oh, sure, Miss Chelsey." She replied with slight unease, and then gestured to a room adjoining Chase's.

It was spacious and large, but not as large as Chase's - which was a bit odd. It too had large window, and a queen sized bed. A dresser sat in the corner, along with a desk. I was surprised I would have such a big room. Being the prince's nanny did have it's perks. Right now, though, clothes were covering the floor and the bed, and a large suitcase lay open.

"I'm sorry," Alyse said embarrassed as she rushed and tried to pick up a couple dresses. "I was… packing." She muttered. I felt a surge of compassion for her, even though I didn't know her. I could tell that her being timid and flustered was due to the fact that her father had died. After all, I had acted similarly.

After showing me the bathroom, Chelsey led me to Chase's rooms. Besides the large play room and bathroom I had seen earlier, he also had a napping/feeding room. I enjoyed exploring the Prince's Chambers, but seeing all this space and wealth for such a tiny little baby made me feel stunned and the slightest bit bitter. While I had been hungry all the time at home, people were living like _this_? It surprised me, even though I knew I shouldn't be shocked by things like this anymore. After all, this was reality.

As Chelsey was discussing something with Alyse in her room, I wandered into Chase's room. I walked over to his playpen, smiling at the cute plushy pillows and blankets surrounding the area. It was clear that whoever had planned this room out had been very careful and deliberate.

I started as the door behind me opened suddenly. Whirling around, I faced King Maxon, Lady Keahna, and a giggling Prince Chase. They too, stared at me for a second in shock, their smiles frozen on their faces. After a second, though, Keahna rushed over to me with a grin, enveloping me in a hug.

"America!" She smiled at me, and I attempted a smile back, but all I could think about was the happy look on Maxon's face when he had entered with her. "What are you doing in here?" She asked happily.

Maxon walked over and set his son in his play area. "Miss Singer is Chase's new nanny." He told Keahna, a small smile on his face. "I believe she is in the process of a tour."

Keahna grinned. "Oh, really? That's great, America!" She said cheerfully, but my jealous self only felt like she was mocking me. I also couldn't help but wonder how she could look so gracious and beautiful with a simple smile. Quickly, I shook those thoughts from my head. Now was not the time to be jealous. "Where's Chelsey?" Keahna asked me.

Like magic, Chelsey appeared suddenly. "Right here. Hello, Lady Keahna." She then curtsied to Maxon, and I felt a rush of embarrassment when I remembered that I hadn't shown any sign of respect to Maxon at all. "My King," She smiled, her eyes twinkling as they usually did when she saw a friend.

Maxon bowed his head. "Miss Chelsey. Are you done with your tour?"

Chelsey nodded. "Yes, but I was wondering if America could have some time with Chase?"

"Of course." Maxon replied graciously.

"Is it okay if I leave her here alone?" Chelsey questioned hesitantly. "Alyse is packing in her room, and I have to meet with Lady Valleree about something."

Maxon smiled. "Of course. I was planning on staying with Chase for a while anyway, so she'll be with me." I bit my lip. Alone time with the King? This could either go very very badly or quite well. It all depended on me, really.

Chelsey grinned. "Wonderful." She turned to me. "Congratulations for getting the job." She laughed. "Even though I chose you for it." With that, she curtsied to Maxon and waved to Keahna before hurrying out the room.

"Well, I'd better get going. Bye, America." She waved at me, and I attempted to smile back. "See you later Maxon."

Keahna stepped towards Maxon and gave him a hug, making me stare at them wide-eyed. I knew they were close, but did that hug hint at something more? My fists clenched at the thought, but I didn't know why.

When she left the room, the only sound was Chase's gurgling noises as he waved a stuffed bear around. It was incredibly awkward, but my uncomfortableness evaporated when Chase crawled over to me and grinned at me. He had no teeth, and I couldn't help but giggle and smile back.

I bent down until we were eye level. His green eyes, clear and full of humour, blinked lazily as he babbled something softly. I stood up again, suddenly aware of Maxon just a few feet away. I felt his gaze on me, and I couldn't help but look up to meet his eyes.

"Your Majesty," I bowed my head, curtsying slightly, but Maxon just smiled.

"Please, America," he smiled kindly, "you can call me Maxon, remember? If we are to be working together from now on, I am certain it will be appropriate for you to call me by my name." His brown eyes twinkled.

I couldn't help but grin back, pleased at both the prospect of working with the king and with being allowed to call him by his real name. It was still getting used to it, though.

Chase let out a cry, and both of us looked towards him. He was pouting, sniffling slightly. I felt the desire to pick him up and comfort him. Then, I realized I _could_ pick the prince up. With a hesitant glance at King Maxon, I gently picked up the baby heir, supporting his still slightly unsteady head. I rocked him gently with his head resting on my shoulder, humming under my breath. I could feel Maxon's gaze on me again, and I worried for a second when Chase continued to whimper. After a few seconds, though, the baby quieted down. I raised my gaze, looking up to see Maxon smiling at me.

"He likes you," he told me approvingly.

I grinned, pleased. "That, or he's very tired and can't help but fall asleep."

Maxon chuckled softly. "Yes, I suppose this afternoon may have been a little tiring." We stood in silence for a moment, with me rocking Chase in my arms and Maxon standing a few feet away. He asked, "Do you have very much experience with children?"

Immediately, I was on high-alert. Was he testing me? I adjusted Chase in my arms. "Well, I have four other siblings, and two of them were younger than me. So yes, I suppose I have experience."

Maxon's eyebrows raised. "Four siblings?"

I nodded, brightening at the idea of my family. I really did miss them. "Yep. I'm the middle child, and I have two older siblings, Kenna and Kota. My younger siblings, May and Gerad, were born around the time I started helping around the house, so I… um, I was able to take care of them." I ended awkwardly, rushing my last few words, suddenly worried I was talking too much. My family was a passionate subject for me, but I wondered if I was making the king bored.

Maxon smiled at me. There was a slight sadness in his eyes. I realized, suddenly, that he had no siblings. He had always been an only child, for his entire life. I felt a spark of sympathy for the king before me. I couldn't imagine how he must feel. True, I too had lost my beloved spouse, but afterward I had at least had my family. Maxon… he had nothing. His parents were dead, he had no siblings, and he was required to lead an entire country… by himself. I clutched Prince Chase a little tighter.

Maxon seemed to notice my discomfort. He took a step closer. "America?" He questioned. He reached out a hand, gently touching my shoulder. His touch electrified me for a second, snapping me back to reality.

"Yes… Maxon, I'm fine," I reassured him with a slight smile.

"You look a little tired," he offered. "Maybe you need some rest." He gently took Chase from me, and the Prince muttered restlessly. Maxon was wrong, though. If anything, I was especially excited right now. I had just gotten a new job, I would get to spend time with the Prince and the King…

Nevertheless, I nodded, trying to be as mature and pleasant as I could. I needed to, of course, if I was going to impress Maxon and be a good nanny. "Of course. I… come here tomorrow morning, then?"

Maxon smiled, looking relieved and slightly surprised I was being so obedient and agreeable. I admit I'm not usually so subdued. "Yes. Chase has his night-sitter, but you'll watching him in the day. Oh, by the way, we're still going on our beach trip. With you as nanny, this is the perfect time."

I brightened at the thought I finally visiting the beach. With a curtsy, I smiled widely. "Well, thank you, Maxon. I'll see you tomorrow." Flashing him a brilliant smile at the thought, I headed towards the door, but he stopped me with a call.

I turned and watched as he lowered Chase into his crib, and then hurried over to me. Once in front of me, he smiled. "I just wanted to let you know that I couldn't be happier at who Chelsea recommended for Chase's nanny," he told me kindly in a low voice. There was barely a foot between us. "I know you'll do wonderfully, so there's really no reason to act so nervous."

I let out a breathy laugh, suddenly finding it difficult to breathe with Maxon's intense gaze staring right at me. I smiled. "You could tell?"

He smiled. His only answer was, "You'll do great." And before I could do anything, Maxon grabbed my hand and slowly brought it up to his lips, kissing it gently. Where his smooth lips met my cool skin, it tingled. I let out a breath I hadn't known I'd been hold as Maxon dropped my hand. My arm fell limply to my side as I smiled at him.

His lips quirked up. "See you tomorrow, Miss Singer," he told me cheerfully. Clearly, he didn't know what his small gesture had done to me. He turned and headed back towards Chase, and I breathlessly opened the door and hurried out into the hall.

I leaned against the closed door with a smile, my eyes closed; my hand pressed behind me, resting on the silver door knob. I looked both ways down the hallway, suddenly charged with excitement. The idea of being the prince's nanny hit me on full force. I'd be looking over the _Heir to the throne_. I'd be working alongside the _King_. I grinned again.

Looks like life was finally turning around for the best.

* * *

The next week was busy with preparations for our trip, packing, and… oh, of course, my job.

The young Prince Chase seemed to be getting cuter every day. Playing with him was something I would wake up looking forward to. Even putting him to sleep was adorable, because while sleeping the little prince would occasionally let out a small snore. I found that I even dreaded my breaks, and would occasionally just tell my assistants that I would stay with him.

And then, of course, there was the bonus that I got to learn a lot more about the King. Every morning, before he had to start his 'kingly duties', Maxon took a walk with me and Chase in the gardens. Maxon had made up his mind, he told me, that he would make a tradition of walking in the gardens with Chase as long as he was able. Selfishly, I had to be a tad jealous that I wouldn't always be Chase's nanny, that the little prince wouldn't always need one. But I tried to take advantage of the daily morning walks with Maxon.

Every morning I would wake up eagerly, get myself and Chase ready, and head to the grand entrance hall, where Maxon would sometimes be waiting for us. Other days, however, we would usually wait for the king for awhile. Luckily, Chase was a pretty easygoing baby. He loved babbling to the guards stationed in the hall, or grin at passing maids. I would walk him around the room, looking at the paintings, telling him about my sister, and my dad, who were both artists. I, myself, also had an eye for art, and I loved inspecting the paintings lining the halls. Soon Maxon would arrive, though, and the three of us would head out into the usually cool but comfortable Angeles morning.

We would talk about the most random things sometimes. We talked about our families, our lives. We even started to develop a closer relationship that allowed me to tell him silly jokes or for us to share our hopes and dreams. It was really nice, sometimes, that I was able to have another friend at the Palace. Maxon and I became so close in just a week that I wondered sometimes how it was possible.

The walk in the garden was usually one of the highlights of my day.

(ooo)

On one such walks in the garden, Chase was being surprisingly energetic. He was squirmy when I tried to hold him, so I had to let him crawl around.

The little baby was very curious, which was a usually good trait. But you know the saying… 'curiosity killed the cat'. Fortunately, the Prince's enthusiasm for inspecting new things didn't get him too hurt. The baby seemed to especially love the roses, though, and so I would have to scoop him up quickly he strayed too far from me or too close to the pretty but dangerous flowers with thorns.

Maxon, of course, simply laughed when I would rush over to Chase nervously. I couldn't help but smile too when I thought of myself rushing over to a baby with an exasperated sound.

"What's so funny?" I asked him, feigning innocence. He had laughed for the fourth time because of me chasing Chase. I propped a struggling Chase on my hip.

Maxon just smiled bemusedly. "It's cute."

He, at the same time as I did, realized what this sort-of implied. I awkwardly ducked my head slightly as I put a whining Chase back on the ground.

"He's growing up rather quickly, isn't he?" Maxon commented lightly, and I was both disappointed and relieved at the change of topic.

"Children do that." I watched Chase, but my eyes occasionally flickered to Maxon. "One day they're little children, messing around, and the next moment, they're leaving." I pause. "Or _you_ leave them..." I tell him, slightly sadly.

"Did you ever travel anywhere from your home in Carolina? Were you always around your family?" Maxon asked curiously.

I nodded. "Mostly, yes." I paused. "But I almost left, once."

"When?"

I froze. "... When I was seventeen." All my memories returned from when I was seventeen. How Aspen had told me to sign up for the Selection, how I refused to, how my mother wouldn't speak to me for a week after...

"Where were you planning to go?" Maxon asked, noticing my falter and trying to bring me out of my thoughts.

I kept my eyes lowered to the ground. "Here. I was planning on entering the Selection… _your_ Selection." While the topic is awkward, I can't help but raise my gaze to look him in the eye.

"Really?" His look is unreadable, but his eyes aren't cold or uncomfortable, so I keep my gaze. "Why didn't you?" There's something in his voice. Curiousness on why I didn't do something that nearly all girls my age back then had done? Envy that I had gotten a choice to do something I wanted to do?

"I was in love." I told him carefully. He looked up at me, smiling, and all awkwardness faded. I smiled back.

"That's quite a good reason," He told me. I nodded, unable to speak because of the pure intensity of his gaze. And I was also shocked. No one had ever accepted anything I'd done so readily. Many people from Carolina had always sometimes doubted me. My mother, my siblings, my friends… Even Aspen had sometimes doubted or mistrusted me.

I felt a surge of compassion for this man in front of me. He actually understood why I hadn't entered the Selection. Well, maybe not understood. But he accepted it, without questions. Most people who learned I hadn't entered the Selection would ask me _why_. My mother had held that against for years afterwards, and Aspen too had tried to convince me to sign up. Maxon simply accepted my choice and supported me, even if it had happened ten years ago. I wanted, at that moment, to simply hug him. I wanted to tell him without words how simply awed by him I was.

Something held me back embracing him, though. His eyes were concerned, and they even showed… regret? I wondered what about the Selection could have made him regret so much? What would he change if he could? What did he dislike about his Selection? I mean, besides the fact that it nearly forced thirty-five women onto him. Maybe that's why he regretted his Selection. Maybe he was forced to marry one of the girls… Maybe he never loved any of them. Did that mean he didn't love Kriss? I wondered with a start.

I quickly pushed the idea out of my mind. I broke my gaze with him, scolding myself. Of course Maxon loved Kriss… He _still_ loves her. How could I be so blind to assume he didn't love her? I was really overthinking this.

"What are you thinking about?" Maxon's curious voice made me look up again, and I attempted a smile. His face wasn't regretful anymore, and I tried to push my silly thoughts away.

"Everything." I tried to honest truthfully. I didn't want to say I didn't really know what I was thinking. Would I sound like a liar?

Maxon put his arm on my shoulder… in a totally friendly way. His hand draped over my right arm, and I relaxed into him with a small sigh. "Well, try not to worry," he told me lightly as I looked up with a smile. "And that's an order," he tried for a stern face, then winked, and I giggled. He pulled his arm off my shoulder, and it suddenly felt cold without his warmth there. "We'll be going to the beach in a couple of days, and then we can relax."

I grinned. "That sounds nice." My gaze lingered on his face, and then something caught my eye, and my grin faded. "Oh, Chase!" I cried.

Maxon laughed loudly as I rushed to grab Chase from the horrific rose bushes.

* * *

Friday came up quicker than I had suspected. Soon, I was strapping Chase into his seat in his limousine… well, technically not _his_ limousine. But he was the prince, so it might as well be.

As the car started, I noticed that we were being led by a black jeep, and followed by a black car. Both cars, I noticed from the emblem on their doors, were RGT Vehicles, which was short for Royal Guard Transportation Vehicles. I was still slightly surprised on how many people were needed to go on a small weekend vacation, but at least I knew we would be safe.

During the ride, I stayed in the back with Chase and a sweet maid named Mary-Kris who would assist me. Maxon and our chef Pierre were sitting up front, and a chauffeur was driving us. I mostly talked to Mary-Kris and played with Chase the entire ride, but I also looked at the scenery. Being in Angeles, we were pretty close to the coast, so the ride only took about an hour. Mary-Kris was shy at first, but she was quite friendly after a few attempts to talk. I could tell she was really sweet and hard-working, and I could see a fire in her eyes too.

Upon arrival, I tried to get out of the car, but found it locked. When I wiggled the handle and hit the door lightly, Mary-Kris laughed.

"They're going to open it for us," she told me.

Before I could ask who _they_ were, the lock clicked and the door opened. A guard stood straight and tall outside, holding the door open for me. For a second I just stared, confused on why it had to be locked from the inside, but then I shook myself. I unbuckled Chase and picked him up, trying to slide out of the limousine as gracefully as I could. Mary-Kris got out on the other side, and I was a little disappointed when she rushed over to assist in carrying our bags. Her working reminded me of what my job used to be. Now, I was a nanny for the prince himself. It seemed now that I would never be able to adjust back to a maid. I dreaded Alyse coming back and taking over nanny in a week.

As I had suspected, Chase fell asleep quickly once we got inside and things calmed down a little. Mary-Kris offered to watch him while he napped, so I unpacked my bags in the room I shared with her.

My room with Mary-Kris was slightly small, but comfortable. It was adjoined to Prince Chase's room by a bathroom with connecting doors. There was a small table and two twin beds in the room, and a large window that looked out to the ocean.

As I was hanging up my dresses, I remembered another difference from my old job and my new job as a temporary nanny; the wardrobe. The dresses were nicer, and had a wider selection. Not all of them were long and hot, making me sweat while I did my work. They were looser, shorter, and prettier. There were more colors too, not just white or gray; there was a blue one, a light yellow one, and a purple one.

The best part, though, was that I sometimes got to wear _pants_. And the selection of pants were always so comfortable. After all, I was a nanny to a hyperactive, energetic little baby boy. I had to be able to move around easily so I could take care of him.

Today I was supposed to be allowed to wear pants since we were taking a trip, but I had decided to wear a cool summer dress. It was the beach, after all.

After finishing packing, I opened the window to air out the stuffy room. A cool ocean breeze slightly messed up my hair, but I didn't care. Closing my eyes for a second, I breathed in the salty sea air and took my hair out of its bun. Running my hand through my tangled red locks, I leaned on the window.

I sighed. The view was gorgeous. Even better than pictures I had seen. When we arrived I hadn't really gotten a good look at the sea, since the car's windows had been tinted so you couldn't even really see outside. I had caught a glimpse when coming into the house, but it took my breath away now. The ocean was a deep, rich blue. Its waves crashed on the white sand. The sky was a light blue, with only a few puffy white clouds in the sky. A breeze fluttered the hair on my shoulders, and I shivered slightly in my light dress.

"Finished packing?"

A voice startled me, and I whipped around suddenly.

"Oh, sorry for scaring you." Maxon stood in the doorway, dressed the most casually I had seen him… Basically ever. Not that that was saying much. He wore slacks and a short sleeved polo, and his hair was less-perfect than usual… not that I minded the way it was slightly messed up and windblown. Maxon noticed me staring. "Oh, yeah, I know." He rubbed the back of his neck as he walked towards me. "It may not look very comfortable, but this is what I usually wear when I'm more casual…" He trailed off, smiling slightly.

I smiled as he came nearer. He was almost next to me now, but he stopped a foot away. I wanted him to come closer. "You look fine, Maxon." I had become more comfortable with the king the last week, and now it came naturally for me to call him by his first name. "But I hope you dress a _little_ more casually for the beach."

He smiled. "Of course. Maybe I'll even wear shorts." I laughed.

He looked at me for a moment, cocking his head to one side. "I don't think I've ever seen your hair down, America." He told me with a curious expression on his face.

I ran a hand through my hair, shrugging. "Oh, yeah. I used to wear it like this all the time, but I just put it in the bun now."

He walked up next to me, leaning on the window. "Why? You look nice with it down." He said it matter-of-factly, and I tried to hide a smile.

"Habit, I guess. I had to put it in a bun as a maid, and…" I trailed off.

"What?" He peered down at me, his brown eyes twinkling.

I smiled teasingly, raising a eyebrow at him. "Why do you think I want to say something else?"

He smirked. "You said 'and'. I could also tell by your expression." He broke our gaze, and I felt a little bit of disappointment as he stared out at the sea. "So what's the other reason you don't wear it down?"

"Well," I started carefully. "I guess I just don't want to be too different from the other maids."

"But you _are_ different. A good different."

I sighed. "Thank you. But… I came here less than a year ago, just a maid. Already, I'm serving the prince." I stared at the ocean waves crashing on the beach. "Sometimes I feel like the more experienced maids are jealous. They act as if I don't deserve being his nanny."

Maxon frowned. I rushed on. "I don't believe them, really." I added for good measure. And it was the truth. I didn't really care about what they thought, but Maxon always seemed to get me to talk about topics I didn't talk about with anyone else. "I like my job, and people say I'm good at taking care of Chase-"

"You are." Maxon interrupted with a large smile. "You're very good at taking care of him. He really likes you."

I smiled at him gratefully before continuing, "Anyway, I don't let it get to me." I shrugged. "I know some older maids who can't even handle their jobs now, so obviously they couldn't manage being a nanny." I rolled my eyes, and Maxon smiled. "But I guess there's really no point in trying to act like them. I'm pretty sure they're always going to be jealous, even when I go back to being a regular maid."

Maxon's eyes traveled to mine. He looked at me thoughtfully.

For a moment there was silence. Then a light breeze played at my hair, and I grabbed the red strand, tinted slightly gold in the light. Twirling it around in my fingers, I smiled at Maxon.

"Maybe I'll wear my hair down more often." I said. Maxon's quiet thoughtfulness disappeared. His eyes twinkled with happiness, mirroring the peace I felt inside. I felt content here with him. I wanted to stay here for as long as I could. "If you like it, that is," I added.

He grinned at me. "I do."

For a moment, we looked at each other. But I heard a seagull squawk from outside, and my gaze traveled back to the beach. The two of us looked out at the ocean together, enjoying the cool breeze and bright sun.

Maxon broke the silence. "Oh, I forgot what I had come in here for!" I looked to him. "Pierre wanted me to let you know that lunch will be ready soon."

Indeed, I heard the sound of pots clanging downstairs and smelled the delicious aromas of warm food. Suddenly hungry, my stomach rumbled loudly. I hadn't eaten on the ride, and I didn't remember any breakfast either.

I blushed a little as Maxon laughed, but had to join in with a small giggle.

"I take it you're hungry, then?" He asked in amusement.

I nodded, my cheeks still a little warm. "Yes." I added, "But I'm sure that Pierre's food will satisfy my needs."

Maxon looked out the window. The breeze nipped at his hair playfully. "Wasn't it you who said Palace food was delicious?" He glanced down at me with a smile. "Well, I'm sure you won't be disappointed. I chose Pierre for a reason." Maxon smiled. "His lasagna is exquisite!" I laughed.

"I'm looking forward to it."

He smiled at me, his look hard to read. Then, he held out his hand, inviting me to take it so we could go downstairs.

I smiled back and grasped his hand firmly in mine.

* * *

Maxon was right. Pierre was an excellent cook. We didn't have lasagna, but instead enjoyed a delicious casserole. Chase slept all through lunch, giving me a little time to relax for awhile. As we were finishing our meal, though, Mary-Kris came down holding him in her arms. Luckily the little Prince was in a good mood after his nap, so I took him happily.

"What are you planning on doing today, Your Majesty?" Pierre questioned as he cleared our plates. mary-Kris joined him, and I almost asked if they needed help before sheepishly remembering that I was holding Chase.

Maxon shrugged. "I was thinking maybe a walk on the beach. I don't want to actually get in the water today, but a walk would be nice."

"That sounds wonderful, Your Majesty," Mary-Kris said with a warm smile.

"Would you like to come?" Maxon asked, and for a moment I didn't realize he was talking to me.

"What? Oh, yes, sure." I glanced to Chase in my arms and smiled as he babbled away incoherently. "He's in a good mood. We should probably leave soon."

Maxon smiled, turning to Mary-Kris as she picked up my plate. "And you?"

Mary-Kris's eyes widened. "Me? Join you on your walk?" She blushed and laughed nervously when Maxon nodded. Her eyes flicked to me, and a smile (which was slightly devious, I might add) flickered on her face. "No, thank you. I'm a little tired." And she scurried over to the sink.

"And you, Pierre?" Maxon craned his neck around to our chef, who was washing dishes. The cook smiled knowingly.

"No, thank you, sir."

Maxon smiled at me. "Looks like it's just you, me, and Chase."

I narrowed my eyes playfully at him, grinning. "No guards?"

He laughed. "No guards," he promised. "At least… none too close. We have to stay in the perimeter, though." His chair screeched slightly as he stood up. "Can you get Chase dressed warmly, please? There's a breeze."

I smiled and stood too, balancing the baby prince on my hip. "Of course." Maxon didn't usually make recommendations when it came to Chase, but usually they were good ones. It was indeed a little cool outside, so Chase would probably need a warmer outfit… I glanced down at my light summer dress. I would probably need to dress warmer too.

"So, say, in fifteen minutes we'll meet on the front porch?" Maxon asked, then headed upstairs when I nodded.

I held Chase out in front of me, smiling sweetly at him. He cooed back at me, his blue eyes large and clear. "Who's ready for a walk on the beach?" I said in a sing song voice as I tickled him lightly.

The baby giggled. Gurgling, he tried to snatch a strand of my red hair. I gently pulled his hand away. "No, no, no." I whispered with a ghost of a smile. "It may look pretty, but my hair's not very fun to play with it." I winced as he tugged at another strand. "Chasey, that hurts." I told him with a small frown. He only grinned at me. Trying to suppress a smile, I asked, "Are you ready to get changed?"

He babbled something.

I smiled. "I'll take that as a yes." Together, he and I headed upstairs.

* * *

Unfortunately, our walk didn't last very long.

Once I had changed Chase and then got changed myself, I had gone down to meet Maxon on the porch. Then we headed to the shore, where we walked across the wet sand. In about five minutes, however, Chase started crying.

I realized quickly that his diaper was dirty. (Of course the one time I don't have access to a diaper is when Chase actually needs a changing.) As we headed back so I could change him, I tried apologizing, but Maxon was a good sport and brushed me off.

"It's fine. Really." He had said. "We still have time to continue our walk after we change him."

But after changing him and getting back to the sand, Chase was in a bad mood. He didn't want me to hold him, but he also didn't like to be put down because he was scared of the water. The little prince kept on whining until eventually Maxon just stopped walking.

"We should probably head back," he said, running a hand through his hair.

I tried to protest, but he only smiled. "I'm planning an entire beach day tomorrow anyway," he told me reassuringly. "Don't worry, you won't be ocean deprived this trip."

I couldn't help but laugh and accept my defeat. As we trudged back through the sand, Maxon offered to hold the squirming Chase. As the little boy was the reason we were in the predicament, I was happy to have a break, and miraculously, Chase seemed to like the change too. The baby quickly calmed down when in his father's arms, and I smiled at the delicate but tender way Maxon held his son.

Together, the three of us headed back to the house, with me disappointed by our short-lived walk but excited for tomorrow's beach day, Chase starting to doze off again, and Maxon… well, I wasn't sure what Maxon thought of the whole thing. I did, however, notice his pleased face when his son snuggled his small head into his shoulder and wrapped his chubby arm around Maxon's neck. I recognized the look. It was affection, mixed with mingling pride and joy.

I also noticed the careful way he put his son to bed, and watching him put a smile on my face.

 _END OF CHAPTER TEN_


	12. On The Wings of Love

**Chapter Eleven**

"Chase is in bed now." I informed Maxon sometime after dinner. The baby had only been asleep for maybe ten minutes after our walk, and had been awake from then until dinner. I was glad to have a break, now, and I was planning on heading to my room to relax and maybe read when I went to inform Maxon that his son was asleep.

He was hunched over his desk, scribbling rapidly on a piece of paper. He jolted at the sound of my voice. "What?" Looking up, his eyes cleared. "Oh, thank you." He said politely.

I gestured to his desk. "What're you doing?" I asked curiously. "You don't actually have to work, do you?" I asked incredulously when Maxon glared unhappily at the papers, which I now noticed were stamped with some kind of fancy emblem.

"Yeah, I actually do." He said, attempting to smile, but his face was tired. He rubbed his eyes, brushing his hand through his blonde locks.

"But it's vacation!" I exclaimed, and the corner of his mouth tugged up at my passionate indignant-ness on his behalf. "Can't... Can't Veronikka or someone _else_ do it? It's- _your_ vacation!" I had been about to say 'our vacation', but I corrected myself quickly.

"I know," Maxon sighed. "But… well, they're already busy." He looked guiltily at me, and then doubtfully glanced to his paperwork. "My advisors work really hard, and it's not _that_ much work…"

I shook my head, but nonetheless had to smile. Right now I could see the loyal Maxon, independent. He didn't like people having to do stuff for him, and right now it showed. But it was his _vacation_ , for goodness sake! I had to convince him to stop working. He needed to take a break.

"You know, you're going to work yourself to death." I held out my hand with a small smile. An idea had struck me. There went my plans for a relaxing night in my bed reading. "Have you ever had a Make-Your-Own sundae before?"

He stared at my hand, then at my grinning face. "Have I… _what_?" He stared at me, bewildered.

"A Make-Your-Own Sundae." I repeated. "I hadn't heard of it since this past year, but my friends love it, and one of the head cooks has a thing for Chelsey, so…" I shrugged, grinning slyly. "When I was feeling down those first few weeks after I was shot," Maxon winced slightly at the memory of my horrible wound, though I didn't know why. _I_ was the one who had been hurt, after all. "-they'd take me to get ice cream."

Maxon stared at me doubtfully. "Well, I suppose it can't hurt to take a small break." He glanced at his papers. "It will be small, right?" He asked, but I knew he had made up his mind.

After I nodded in confirmation, my hand still outstretched, he reached out and grabbed my hand securely, standing up next to me.

I started walking out of the room towards the kitchen, keeping tight hold of Maxon's hands. I knew I could have let go, but I didn't really want to. His hands were warm and larger than mine - obviously - and I felt safe and secure while holding them. Or, rather, his hands holding mine. Maxon didn't let go either, though, so I took that as a sign that he was fine with it.

"So," I tried to shake my head clear of thoughts of holding his hand. "First we look in the fridge and get whatever we think we would be good on ice cream sundaes." Unfortunately, I had to let go of his hand to open the fridge and get some stuff out of it.

"Doesn't Pierre need some of this food? Y'know, to make our meals?" Maxon asked from behind me.

I waved a reassuring hand as I reached into the freezer. "It's fine. Mary-Kris was planning on heading to town tomorrow morning for shopping, so she can get some stuff then." Luckily, there _was_ ice cream (otherwise my whole plan would've been a complete _fail_ ) and there was even a small carton of strawberry, my new favorite from my late night trips to the kitchen with my friends at the Palace.

After taking out the strawberry and vanilla ice cream, I opened the fridge and took out a lot of different stuff. Luckily, it was stocked with a tons of yummy foods that could be used for toppings; fruit, chocolate, nuts, whipped cream… I found some gummy bears in the cupboard, and quickly grabbed a couple red ones and bit their _delicious_ heads off (sorry, did that sound creepy?) before taking out the whole container.

Maxon stood to one side, watching as I collected everything. I got bowls and spoons, and then collected everything on a worn wooden table in the middle of the room.

The rest of the house was dark, with the kitchen light the only one on. The environment already made me feel excited. I brushed a crumb from the top of the table. It was an old wooden farm table, and the warm glow of the lightbulb above lit up our area perfectly.

I gestured Maxon over to the table. "Okay." I grinned. "First, you choose your ice cream." I held up the carton of strawberry, and he picked up vanilla. "Alright." he told me.

"So you scoop however much you want." While I scooped my strawberry ice cream, he scooped his. We both scooped a lot, filling the bowls well.

"Now we put on toppings." I told him with a smile.

He looked at me, slightly confused. "So, um, no one's choosing for us?" He looked surprised.

"Nope." I smiled. "It's all you."

Maxon's eyes lit up. "Wow. I never really made what I want before."

"So they choose for you?"

"Well, the chefs know what I like, but yes, they basically choose for me." I cocked my head to the side thoughtfully. I like making my own decisions, so I don't think I would like other people making them for me, even if they knew what I liked.

I shrugged, grabbing a couple gummy bears to put in my bowl. Then I stuffed a couple in my mouth too. "Okay. Well, do you know what you want?"

He stared at my assortment of toppings on the table with wide eyes. "Uh… everything?"

I laughed. "Sure, you can have everything." He grinned. I continued, "Go ahead."

The two of us got to work, sprinklings toppings here, dumping stuff there, tasting what we thought would go well together... Finally, we had big piles of ice cream with a lot of toppings.

"... Wait." I frowned as we stepped back from our work. I peered at our ice cream. "There's something missing…"

"What?" Maxon asked.

I crossed my arms for a second, thinking. "... Oh! Whipped cream!"

I looked around the counter. I thought I had pulled it out of the fridge before, but now I couldn't find it. I found it again quickly, behind me next to the fridge. I picked it up, handing it to Maxon. He stared at it for a second.

"It's whipped cream." I told him.

He smirked. "I know it's whipped cream," he told me with a small smile. "I just... don't really know how to use it," He said sheepishly.

I took the can and adjusted his hand on it. Where our hands touched, electric signals shot up my body, but I tried to ignore them. I placed his finger on the nozzle. It tingled where our skin touched, but I was pretty sure my hand hadn't fallen asleep. "You just push there."

"Oh, okay." Before I could see what was happening, Maxon moved the can in front of my face, pointing it at me, and that's the last thing I saw before a sheet of white covered my eyes.

I squeaked. My face was covered in whipped cream. I licked my lips. "Maxon!"

He just laughed at me. I tried to glare at him as I wiped the whipped cream from my face, but we both knew I wasn't really angry. "Sorry. I thought you told me to have fun, America." He told me innocently, trying to hide a smile. He used his thumb to wipe away some of the white fluffy cloud-like cream.

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously at him as I grabbed a napkin. "You already knew how to use a whipped cream can, didn't you?" I realized.

He shrugged, grabbing a napkin to help me wipe my face. "Maybe I did." He smiled. "But you can't say I'm too stiff anymore."

I rolled my eyes, grinning. When I blinked, my eyelashes were a little sticky. "I'm going to go clean up." I told him.

He looked at me hopefully as I started to head to the bathroom. "So you're not mad?"

I laughed. "Maxon, I'm pretty sure you wouldn't've done that if you thought I would get mad."

Maxon shrugged again. "Guilty."

In the bathroom, I washed the whipped cream from my face, peering at myself in the mirror. My cheeks were blushed slightly, probably from excitement, and my eyes were shining. My hair was up, but I pulled it out of its ponytail and let it hung loose. After drying my face off, I headed back into the kitchen.

Maxon was waiting for me patiently, eyeing the ice cream eagerly. I nearly laughed when I saw him with his spoon ready.

"Can we eat now?" He asked as I sat down.

I nodded. "Let's eat!"

* * *

"That. Was the _best_ thing. I ever. Tasted."

Many minutes later, Maxon and I sat at the table in the dining room. He had just finished his huge mountain of ice cream. I meanwhile, was still working on mine, but I was almost done.

I laughed. "You sure? The Palace food is _delicious_." I licked my spoon, smiling. "But isn't it ' _I've_ ever tasted,' Mister Grammar?" I teased. Maxon grinned, rolling his eyes. He leaned back in his chair.

"You do know that king's aren't perfect, right?" He asked.

I mock gasped, scooping a spoonful of sugary goodness into my eager mouth. Swallowing, I smiled. "Of course I know. Are you the exception, then?"

Maxon winked, chuckling softly. "Why, of course. I just wanted to make sure you kept that in mind so you'll know that not all kings are as perfect as I am."

I nodded. "Ah, yes, I will certainly keep that in mind the many future times I will meet multiple princes." Chuckling to ourselves, we sat in silence as I continued eating.

The entire time, his eyes were on me, smiling slightly in a way that made me feel both confident and self-conscious at the same time… if that makes any sense at all. "Aren't you glad that I convinced you to come down with me?" I asked cheerfully, breaking the silence. I licked my spoon.

He laughed shortly. "Am I ever." Maxon's eyes traveled back to mine, and we settled back into silence.

He cocked his head to one side thoughtfully. "Do you think Pierre will get mad if I raid the fridge and get more ice cream?" He asked hopefully.

I laughed, waving my spoon at him reproachfully. "Maxon, if you eat one more bite of ice cream I don't think you'll be able to sleep at all tonight." This was true. Unlike an hour earlier, Maxon didn't look exhausted at all. His eyes were bright, posture happy, and his smile contagious. I couldn't help but grin at the sight of him.

He raised his hands in surrender. "Okay, okay, never mind." He paused, looking to the fridge longingly. "But it was so good!"

I rolled my eyes with a smile. "I know, that's why I thought it'd be fun to do."

"Could we do it tomorrow night?" Maxon asked eagerly.

I shrugged. "I guess."

"Every night?" He pushed.

"We only have two more nights here before we leave, Maxon," I reminded him.

His shoulders slumped slightly. "Oh, right. Well, we can still eat it anyway. For the next two nights at least. And if I ever get down about my work after we return to the Palace, I'll just call you up." He grinned. "We can eat as much as ice cream as we want!"

I laughed. "If you call me up every time you have a lot of work, we'll never stop eating ice cream!" I told him, grinning. "And then I'll get fat!" I complained.

"Oh, no, we wouldn't want that!"

I rolled my eyes again. "I know that sounded self-conscious and everything, but really. You have so much work, and so do I. I think this'll be a one-time thing..." Maxon pouted. "… Okay, maybe two-time thing," I relented and Maxon smiled.

Maxon put a hand over his heart. "Well then I'll cherish our short time here forever."

I laughed. "Thanks so very much." I scooped another bite. "You're acting really childish right now…" Maxon looked at me curiously. "I mean, the good way. Y'know carefree, happy, and stuff." I shrugged slightly awkwardly, smiling.

"That's good, right?"

"It's great." I smiled. "But you deserve more time off, I think." I leaned forward. "You didn't do much of this kind of thing when you were younger, did you?"

Maxon smiled sadly. "I didn't really do this kind of thing _ever_." He leaned back in his chair. "I would do more fun stuff if I could, but I do have responsibilities. You know, leading our country." I smiled. I liked the way he said 'leading our country' and not 'ruling our country.' It showed what he thought about his job; he didn't think it was a monarchy. He was the head of the country, but he didn't believe he was better than anyone else.

I stared at my little bit of ice cream left in my bowl, and then looked at Maxon. He was staring at my bowl too, and I could see the longing in Maxon's eyes, even in he didn't say anything.

I laughed. "Want it?" I slid it across the table. He stared at it for a minute, speechless. I realized it may be odd that I offered my already mostly-eaten ice cream. My cheeks heated up. "I mean, you don't have to." Back in my house, no one ever wanted to share their portion, since the food was sometimes scarce, but if we were willing to share we'd always just pass it around. I hoped I hadn't offended him someway.

Maxon looked up with and eager smile. "Oh, I want it." Relief replaced my slight embarrassment, and I smiled shyly back. "But I didn't believe you wanted to share," he winked at me. "You were eating that ice cream pretty savagely before."

I rolled my eyes. "You finished before me."

"Doesn't mean you weren't savage." He growled jokingly at me, baring his hands to look like claws. The two of us burst into laughter.

"We're acting like little children," I said amusedly as our laughter faded. But a smile stayed on my face.

"I think that's good for us." He responded. Maxon's lip quirked up slightly, and he grabbed his spoon, holding it over my bowl. "May I?"

I nodded. He took a bite eagerly, and I smiled. He looked up at me with a curious expression on his face, and after swallowing, opened his mouth. Before he could say anything, though, a cry came from upstairs.

I looked up at the ceiling above with a sigh. "Chase is awake," I stated the obvious. Reluctantly, I stood up. My chair squeaked slightly, and Chase cried again, this time louder.

"Good night. See you in the morning." Maxon told me, waving his spoon playfully. Prince Chase cried for a third time, but this one lasted longer. I felt exasperation for the young boy, even if he was a baby. Couldn't he have given me a minute?

I ducked my head down slightly, suddenly shy, and smiled. "Good night, Maxon."

* * *

Maxon had promised me a trip to the beach on Saturday. To my delight, he didn't disappoint (not that I had thought he would). At breakfast, while I was feeding Chase, Maxon asked Pierre to pack us a simple lunch to have on the beach. Then he asked me to get Chase and myself ready.

About an hour later, after Chase was fed and changed and I had gotten myself ready, I waited by the door in my modest one-piece swimsuit. I wore a pair of shorts over it, and Chase too was ready with his small little swim trunks and swim shirt.

I felt excitement in the air as I waited for Maxon on the porch. Today was the perfect day, it seemed. The sun was bright, the ocean was peaceful and glittering, and the sand looked very soft.

Chase babbled something next to me, tugging on my hair. I looked at him with a giggle. "Are you excited, my Prince?" I teased him with a smile. The wind blew my red hair in front of his face, and I laughed as he reached out to grab the bright strand.

The door opened from behind me. I turned to greet Maxon, but my mouth made no sound as I stared at him in shock. He only wore his swim trunks and an unbuttoned short sleeved shirt. I had clear view of his chest and stomach. I blushed, heat burning my face, but I couldn't help but admire. For a man in his late twenties, he looked quite, well, _good_. Attractive, I guess. I avoided my eyes, peering up at him through my lashes.

Then I realized that he was staring at me too. His eyes took in my swimsuit and short shorts that I had managed to convince Chelsey to let me bring. I swallowed, self-conscious. Neither of us said a word, but then Maxon met my eyes, smiling kindly.

"Are you ready for the best day of your life, Miss Singer?" He teased. I blushed more, letting out a breath of relief. I smiled back. My gaze flickered to his toned muscular arms and torso before back to his eyes.

"Of course!" I hope he didn't notice the slight quiver in my voice, despite my large grin.

"To the Beach!" he told me enthusiastically. It was almost as if we _hadn't_ been checking each other out the second before.

I giggled, and Chase exclaimed something random, mimicking his father. I laughed harder as Maxon ran off the porch and towards the shore. He tripped on the sand, exclaiming, "Ow! Hot! Hot!" And I followed after him, holding Chase in my arms.

The rest of the day was filled with laughter, fun, and a _lot_ of splashing in the ocean. I managed to convince Maxon to let me bury him in the sand. Seeing his head sticking up out of the pile of sand was too much for me. I burst into uncontrollable laughter, falling back on the sand. I suppose the sight was rather funny, because Maxon couldn't help but chuckle too. Even Chase giggled.

We ate lunch together, gourmet sandwiches. A seagull flew in circles around us, and I giggled at the suspicious way Maxon looked at it as he held his sandwich close to his body.

After lunch, Chase was getting pretty tired, and so I had to take him back. But I would never forget my fun day at the Beach with royalty.

And of course, Maxon held up on his other pledge to have ice cream that night again. Later that evening, he was waiting for me expectantly. But, I couldn't complain. I was happy. Maybe slightly ignorant, but I was still happy. I was having fun. Enjoying myself.

And I definitely didn't know that I was falling slowly but surely in love.

* * *

Sunday morning, I woke up later than usual. I could tell it was later by how much sun was streaming in through the window. I didn't know where I was. For a moment, panic seized me. Where was Chase? Where was I?

Once I gained my bearings, and my head cleared a little bit, I looked over to the bed across from mine. Empty. I frowned. Where was Mary-Kris?

Suddenly worried, I got up and headed to Chase's room. I started to feel a growing panic in the pit of my stomach when he wasn't in his crib.

I raced downstairs quickly, my feet barely touching the cool floor. I arrived in the kitchen, wide-eyed and worried. I breathed a sigh of relief as I did a head-count of who was at the breakfast table.

Maxon looked up with a smile as I came in. "Ah, our Sleeping Beauty has awakened." His eye twinkled with humour. I smiled slightly at his teasing jab.

Mary-Kris giggled. Chase was in her lap, babbling playfully. "Miss Singer," She greeted with a slight smirk. "I see you were quite rushed to get down here?"

She was staring at my clothes. I looked down, with a frown, and then felt my cheeks heat up. I was still in my pajamas. My short, thin pajamas that I had worn last night because I had felt really warm. I swallowed. I could feel Maxon's eyes on me. I glared at him. "Oh, stop staring." I snapped, embarrassed. My pajamas were quite revealing, with extremely short shorts and a spaghetti-strapped tank top. I regretted not grabbing a jacket on my way downstairs.

Maxon just chuckled, and even Mary-Kris couldn't hide a giggle.

"Why didn't anyone wake me up?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

Mary-Kris shrugged. "You looked exhausted. And Chase was in a good mood." She pushed a plate in my direction. "Here's breakfast."

While the food looked delicious, I couldn't eat. I needed to change. "Let me get ready. I'll eat in a minute." I raced back upstairs, both Maxon and Mary-Krislooking amusedly after me. When I had finished changing and everything, I went back downstairs, where my food was still waiting.

Maxon told me what we were doing today as I started to eat. Not that we were doing much. "I think today will just be a relaxation day," he told me idly. "You can do whatever you want. With limitations, of course," he added.

I rolled my eyes with a smile. "Aw, really? Limitations? I was hoping I could ditch my nanny duties and go buy a motorcycle to go ride off a cliff." For a second, Maxon looked surprised, but then he laughed, shaking his head.

"I was hoping you could play another instrument for me?" He asked hopefully. I was surprised, but I listened as he continued. "I found this pretty violin in my room. Can you play? I know you're wonderful at piano."

I grinned at his compliment, and accepted Chase as Mary-Kris brought him over to me as she went to help Pierre with the dishes. "I can play, but I can't guarantee you'll enjoy it."

Maxon waved a hand. "Nonsense." He smiled. "I look forward to your performance."

Mary-Kris came over, picking up my plate. "Oh, I love the violin! Can I listen too?" I nodded, but her eyes widened as she blushed. Her eyes flicked to Maxon. "I mean, if you'll allow it, my king," she added.

Maxon smiled. "Of course you may listen." Mary-Kris smiled hesitantly, and I was confused at her shy state. Soon, though, her weird episode left my memory as I started to play with Chase with Maxon. I was content.

I wasn't able to play for Maxon, Mary-Kris, and Pierre (who also wanted to come to my little recital when he learned of it) until the afternoon. Chase got tired and grumpy, and so I had to put him to a nap. Then we had lunch, but finally we had time that afternoon.

Maxon brought the violin down from his room, and we all sat in the living room. The room was large and open. Leading to the kitchen with a wide open doorway. Its ocean-inspired decoration was soothing, helping me to calm my growing nerves.

After tuning the violin, I played a short piece I'd learned many years ago. It was reasonably easy, and I had memorized it, so it was a good choice for me. I wasn't nearly as good on the violin than I was on the piano, but I was okay. Once I was done, though, it seemed that my audience had thought me more than okay. They gave me a loud applause, with Maxon whooping and whistling like the playful boy he is. I couldn't help but laugh.

They asked for an encore, and I complied. The rest of the afternoon was filled with me playing pieces from my childhood, short melodies of sweet notes that I luckily remembered. My audience enjoyed it tremendously - at least they seemed like they did - and I enjoyed playing. It was nice to perform again. I hadn't done it in a long while. I knew it wasn't that big of a deal, but it felt good to lose myself in the music, letting myself get enveloped in the sweet sounds and notes.

And of course I enjoyed seeing Maxon beam and cheer for me after every song. Yes, I really did like his smile.

* * *

We had a delicious dinner, courtesy of Pierre, later that evening. Everyone was especially happy, even though we were all a bit sad that we were heading back to the Palace. Pierre and Mary-Kris stayed all through dinner, and we talked with no barriers. I think we were all trying to fit more memories into this trip. We wanted to spend our last times of our trip together, having fun.

That night, though, Prince Chase just _would not_ go to sleep. I tried singing, rocking, feeding, and a variety of other ways that usually helped babies close their little eyes and fall asleep, but nothing worked! Mary-Kris even tried holding him awhile, just to see if maybe the prince would fall asleep with a different person, but no luck. He would cry even more if I even adjusted him slightly in my arms.

Maxon, of course, heard his crying, and so did Pierre, but Mary-Kris would quickly ask them to leave as to not disturb the baby. Pierre, after one time, did not dare come back again, probably because he knew of sweet mary-Kris's hidden fiery temper. But Maxon, on the other hand, seemed overly concerned. I would hear Mary-Kris would assure him that everything was fine, and that we were handling it. But the king would keep coming back. Eventually, after maybe his fifth time, Mary-Kris had to usher him out herself, very nearly just yelling at him to go away. At the door, he caught my eyes. It was loud, with Chase crying and Mary-Kris urging him to leave, but I tried to tell him without words that, really, it was okay. He didn't come back anymore. I hoped he had understood my silent message.

The longer Chase kept screaming his head off, the more increasingly worried I became; for two completely different reasons. The more prominent thought I had was concern for Chase. The young boy was usually very well behaved, and I could usually get him to sleep easily. When he did have trouble sleeping, I could usually sing to him and he would fall asleep. But no matter what I did, the baby would keep crying. Obviously, I was worried. What was wrong with him? Was he in pain? Was he sick? But as far as I could tell, nothing was really _wrong_ with him. His diaper was clean. He wasn't hungry. I didn't know what to do, and if I didn't get the Prince to sleep soon I would keep the whole house awake for the rest of the night.

While rocking and shushing and singing, a small part of me was also the tiniest bit disappointed. This had been the last night here. Maxon had told me he wanted to talk to me. I had been looking forward to this last night of ice-cream-fun, even though it _was_ the last night. I knew it was unlikely we would be able to do this kind of thing again. But that was even more reason to regret having no time to go tonight.

By the time Chase started dozing off, it was around midnight. And by the time he was deep enough in sleep for me to put him in his bed, it was nearing one in the morning. After putting him down, I whispered goodnight and shut the door.

Mary-Kris was already in bed, and the rest of the house was eerily silent as I headed into my room. I felt a pit of disappointment growing in my stomach as I changed into more comfortable clothes for sleeping, and tried to be as quiet as I could when brushing my teeth. I knew there was no way Maxon was still waiting for me by now, if he ever was waiting. Who knew, maybe he had given up on the idea of a third night of ice cream when Mary-Kris had ushered him out of Chase's bedroom. Or maybe he had eaten ice cream by himself earlier, without me. Either way, I knew he was in bed.

When I was about to get into bed, I realized I was very thirsty… _and_ hungry. Begrudgingly, I headed downstairs for some water and a small snack. I wasn't sleepy, exactly, but my feet were cold on the cool tile and I knew my bed was very warm…

"Oh, there you are."

I nearly screamed out loud at the unexpected voice. It was completely dark, I couldn't see _anyone_. "Who… Maxon?" I whispered out into the dark. A light clicked.

Maxon sat at the table, his hair squished to one side. He yawned and stretched. I smiled at the casual way he acted, even though the scene was kind of creepy. The rest of the house was dark, and the table was the only thing with light. I squinted at him, the light a little blinding. "I knew you would come down eventually," he told me cheerfully. "Are you ready for ice cream?"

I gaped at him. "Maxon, it's like, one a.m. Aren't you tired?"

"I would wait eternity to eat ice cream with you." He joked, but I secretly hoped it was true. "Plus," he added, "I won't be tired much longer once I get some sugar in me."

I almost laughed, because I thought it was probably true. Sighing, I sat down. "Well, _I'm_ a little tired. I hope you don't mind if I don't talk much."

Maxon just seemed happy that I had chosen to sit down. "I'll do all the talking, don't worry." He grinned and stood up, going to the freezer. He opened the freezer and set two bowls on the table, sliding one to me.

I stared at it. It was strawberry ice cream, with all my favorite toppings; whipped cream, strawberries, bananas, chocolate… there was even a cherry on the top and exactly four gummy bears. I smiled at him, a little surprised. "Wow… Thank you."

Maxon shrugged. He, too, had a bowl of ice cream with his favorite toppings. "Well, I assumed you'd be a little later than usual, so I made it for you…" His brow furrowed. "Did I forget anything?"

I shook my head, grabbing a spoon he offered me. "Oh, no, it's perfect." I was totally and completely surprised. Not only had Maxon waited for me, but he had remembered and made my favorite ice cream. I was pleasantly surprised, of course, and believed this to be a perfect end to a perfect weekend, even if it was one a.m. in the morning.

For a couple minutes, we ate in silence.

"Thank you. Again." I broke the silence, which was something I realized I rarely did.

He grinned at me. "You're welcome. I assume you're talking about the ice cream?"

I nodded, humming in confirmation. "It was very thoughtful of you to do so. I know this vacation has been pretty busy… aren't you even a bit tired?" I asked with a small smile as I scooped a bite of ice cream into my mouth.

He ran a hand through his hair. "Maybe a bit." He smiled slightly, but his eyes were clouded.

I noticed for the first time, in fact, that the King didn't look very relaxed at all anymore. Now, his brows were furrowed in concentration… or was it worry? Anxiousness? It amazed me sometimes that the King of Illea would have his emotions plain to see when you were in private with him. On camera and in public events he had always been calm, cool, and collected, but I now knew that the King could be a very feeling man. His posture was stiffer than before.

"Er… is everything alright, Maxon?" I asked. "You haven't had more paperwork, have you?"

Maxon sighed. "Remember how I said I wanted to talk to you about something?" He ignored my questions. He avoided my eyes, staring instead at his ice cream. I sat up a little straighter. "I need some advice." He looked up at me then, his eyes sad and a little pleading. I couldn't say no.

With a nod from me, Maxon stood up. He gestured for me to follow him, and he told muttered quietly, "So we have more privacy… just in case."

Without a word, the two of us headed up to his room. I could feel the anticipation in the air. I was nervous. This was important, but I didn't know what he wanted to talk about with me.

"This has nothing to do with your job, of course," he told me with a sigh as I moved a chair closer to the bed, where he had sat. I tucked my skirt underneath me as I carefully sat down. "But I knew I could ask you about this because, well, I know you've had…" he paused. "Experience."

"In what, Maxon?" I asked softly. He looked hesitant, almost nervous to talk. I could tell this was a big deal. And while I felt honored that he thought I was worthy to talk to him about it, I was slightly confused on _why_.

Maxon paused. He looked deep in thought. When he opened his mouth to speak, he spoke deliberately, carefully, as he had probably been taught to do as a young child. "When Queen Kriss died, it was obviously very hard for me." He swallowed. "And it's still very hard for me, as I'd known it would be." He met my gaze, brown meeting blue. "I always remembered us meeting in the gardens," he told me softly. "You got mad at me, I know." He smiled slightly at my embarrassed expression. "But I remember you telling me about your husband. And then I talked about Queen Kriss… While it was slightly embarrassing when I cried, I felt much better afterwards." He smiled sadly at me. "So, since you've gotten through your spouse's death," Maxon swallowed. "I was wondering if you could help me… get through mine?"

For a moment I was left speechless. Clearing my throat, I looked at him again. "Of course, Your Majesty." It was all I could manage.

His lips quirked up. " _Maxon_ ," he corrected. "You've done it before, and after this talk I'm quite sure I'll be fine if you call me by my name. There's no more need for 'Your Majesty.'"

I nodded jerkily. Without realizing it, I had returned to addressing him as a King. "Okay, _Maxon_ , what… what exactly are you having trouble to cope with."

He ran a hand through his hair, messing it up attractively… wait, _no_ , not attractively. Just… nicely? I furrowed my brows at my thought process as Maxon spoke.

"Well, everything, really," he told me. "I miss her… so much." His voice broke, and I felt a piece of my heart break just at the sight of him. I realized, suddenly, that I was probably one of the few people who had seen Maxon without his cool mask of reason. Now, it was just him. Maxon Schreave. A man struggling with a lost love. Not very different from me, and that left me breathless for a moment. "It's hard with her not here," Maxon told me. "She'd always been my support. Without her… the pressure of being king is just so much… _more_."

"I felt the same way… well, similar, at least." I responded, twisting my small ring around my finger. It was simple, just a metal band with a heart engraved on it, but it was always with me. It kept Aspen with me. "Of course, I wasn't _royalty_ , so there wasn't as much… expectations. I had more space to mourn." I looked at him curiously, still absentmindedly twisting my wedding ring. "Maxon," I paused as a thought occurred to me. "Did you ever have time to really mourn?"

Maxon cocked his head slightly to one side. "Well, in private, of course. I couldn't get too mad at anyone though, even when I _was_ angry at nearly everyone."

"It's natural to be angry." I told him. "Just don't…" I hesitated. How did I explain what I wanted to say? "Don't try to to push anyone away. People… they _want_ to help, it's just that sometimes they don't know how." I tried to put what I had learned into words. "The ones that do know how, though… you want to keep them close." I looked at him guiltily. "I didn't do that. I was so angry at everyone that I closed myself up. I built up walls that became nearly impossible to break down."

We sat in silence for a minute. "How old was your daughter when your husband died?" He asked.

I looked up, swallowing. "... Around one."

A second of silence. Then, "See, that's what I'm worried most about." Maxon told me anxiously after a pause. My comment had seemingly given him some confidence to tell me what was really bothering him. "Chase… he'll never know his mother. He'll never meet her, never remember her… she'll just be someone people tell him about it." His face was broken, sad. "That pain… I don't want my baby boy to experience that. And how am I supposed to take care of him?" Maxon's voice was aggravated, raised slightly. "The thing is, I _can't_. That's why I have to get a nanny. I don't _want_ a nanny." He told me angrily. I was slightly taken aback. He shook himself. "I'm sorry," he apologized, his voice softened. "I don't mean that you aren't a good nanny, but I wish… I wish I could take care of him myself." His voice cracked, and he sagged in his chair. "I love him. I don't want him thinking I'm just some abandoning, distant father-like figure. I want to be his dad. I want him to love me too." He said. "And I want him to be happy."

I smiled sadly. "Most parents do." I told him softly. "But that's why there won't ever be a moment when he won't love you," I said confidently. "You care, Maxon, and that's what matters. Kriss may be gone, but that doesn't mean you can't love Chase. Even when you're busy, he'll know you love him." I paused. "Do you know how I know that he'll be aware of your love?"

Maxon looked up with, his eyes concerned. He said nothing.

"It's because _I_ can see it, Maxon." I told him softly. "You love him, and if I can see it, I'm sure he can." I pursed my lips, trying to stop myself from crying. That's what May had told me. At least, something along those lines. I, too, had asked someone for help when I was still suffering after Aspen's death, and I remember what my little sister had told me. She saw my love, she could see that I wanted comfort but I hadn't known how to ask for it. So May had given me comfort, even though I hadn't asked. She had been there for me when I needed her, and I really missed her now.

Maxon's head ducked down, and he stared at his lap for a second. "... Thank you." He said finally. He looked up with a small smile. "You're rather good at this kind of thing."

I gave a small, melancholy little laugh. "Nothing teaches like experience," I said. I couldn't keep out the little bit of bitterness in my voice.

"About Kriss." Maxon started. I looked up. "How…" Maxon swallowed. "The people expect me to find a king. It's difficult for a king to rule without a queen, after all." He hesitated. "But… how am I supposed to find a new queen when I'm…" he took a ragged breath. "I'm not over my old one?" Before my eyes, Maxon's eyes filled with tears, and he slumped over with his head in his hands, broken. I teared up just looking at him. Quickly, I got out of my chair, I sat over next to him on his bed, putting my hand tentatively on his shoulder. For a moment, it reminded me of the night in the garden, when Maxon had broken down about his worry for Queen Kriss.

But this was entirely different. This time, Maxon and I were closer. He was one of my closest friends. I knew how he thought, what he thought, what he said, what he liked, what he loved. I knew him. And it hurt me to see him in pain. I wanted to wrap in my arms and comfort him. I wanted him to comfort me. I too needed to mourn. And Maxon would be able to comfort me. I knew he would be able to.

I sniffled, wiping my own tears from my eyes. But now was not the time for him to comfort me. Now was the time for me to help him. I owed him. I loved him. He was one of my best friends, now. He was almost my family.

My touch seemed to calm him, and he raised his head to look at me. For someone who had been crying, he still looked pretty put-together. But I could tell he was on the urge of a break-down. He blinked, trying to wipe his tears away.

I opened my arms wide, scooting closer. He collapsed into them, wrapping his arms around me. I sighed. His warmth enveloped me. We sat there for a moment, both of us sniffling, embraced and comforted by the other. I press my head into the crook of his neck.

"She loved you," I whispered. He took a ragged breath. "You love her." I sniffled. "She'd want you to be happy. If you really love her, and I know you do," I paused. "Try to be happy. I've learned that… we can't dwell on the past, Maxon. Our best hope is to look to the future." He pulled out of embrace, but only so he could lift up his head. His eyes stared into mine. The edges of my eyes were blurry, rimmed with tears, and the one thing that was clear was him. I knew he would always be there for me, so I swore to myself that I'd always be there for him. He attempted a smile.

In a hoarse voice, he only managed two words. But I could hear all the emotion behind them. "Thank you."

I could only manage a nod. Then I buried my face in his chest again, sighing in a relief. A huge weight was off my chest, and I hoped I had helped Maxon with an weight he bore. I didn't care that this was most likely inappropriate. I didn't care that I was wetting his shirt with my tears. I didn't care that tomorrow, everything we could go back to the way it was before; friends at the Palace. At that moment, all that mattered was me and him.

Two souls, meeting at the perfect time. Two souls, needing to heal. Two souls, finding comfort in each other.

Two clueless people falling in love without even knowing.

 _END OF CHAPTER ELEVEN_

* * *

 **Was that too fluffy? Tell me in the reviews if that was too much, just the right amount, or TOTALLY overboard in terms of happy fluffy/angsty drama between America and Maxon.**

 **By the way, telling me in the reviews requires you to actually REVIEW. If you didn't know. ;)**

 **I hope you enjoyed this one!**


	13. Kill Me, Heal Me

**ENJOY THIS CHAPTER!**

* * *

 **Chapter Twelve**

We headed back to the Palace the next day, and Chelsey told me that I had only a week left being Chase's nanny. Alyse was coming back that weekend, she told me. I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed, if a bit hopeful. Maybe Maxon would ask me to just stay Prince Chase's permanent nanny? After all, he had told me himself that Chase needed a little more relaxed nanny.

But the king said nothing. There was no mention of becoming his permanent nanny, but I kept a small shred of hope because Maxon didn't say anything about me leaving either… Not that Maxon really had time to say anything to me anymore. He would still walk with Chase and me every morning, but the strolls in the garden seemed to be getting consistently shorter and shorter. The king had many duties (including preparing for a famous artist coming to the Palace), I knew, but I had hoped that Maxon would always be able to at least talk to me every morning.

I became increasingly stressed as the week progressed. Maxon seemed to be drifting, nearly always distracted, and I hated it. Was he starting to believe the whispers I'd heard behind my back in the servants' break room? Had he just been using me, playing my feelings?

Of course, I dismissed that thought almost immediately. Maxon wouldn't do that… at least, not the Maxon _I_ knew would do that. I tried hinting about Alyse returning, but he didn't notice. MAxon only asked me what was wrong when I became slightly angry and quiet after awhile. I had wanted to burst out and tell him that I was sick of being ignored and neglected and I wanted him back and I was worried that he would forget me as soon as I stopped being Chase's nanny, and I didn't want to be replaced and… well, you get the idea. Of course, before I could say anything, Lady Veronikka came and asked for Maxon.

I don't think I had ever been more angry with the young woman, but I pushed down all my conflicting emotions - a difficult feat, mind you - and just nodded and forced a smile when Maxon (lazily) apologized for having to leave.

On Wednesday morning, I couldn't help it that I frowned and glared when a maid rushed up to me in the Entrance Hall. I had been waiting impatiently with Chase that morning, looking at the paintings but having my eyes open to spot the king, so I may have been a little scary to the petite little maid with a scrap of a note in her hands. Even before she had said anything, I knew what the woman would tell me.

I don't think it's necessary to say that Maxon didn't take a walk with me that morning.

* * *

Later that day, I bustled down the hall, anxious to get to my room so I could lie in bed for awhile on my break. Chase was on his nap, and one of his maids (who cleaned his room, prepared his bath, etc.) had said she would watch him. I was relieved for a break, since little Chase had been really energetic today, giving me no time to relax.

"So you've painted all your life?" Maxon's voice came from a hallway ahead of me. I suddenly remembered that a painter was coming this weekend to paint King Maxon and Prince Chase together to hang up in the entrance hall. I knew it was tradition to have the picture of the Royal family, but I hadn't heard much news about it. It was usually a big deal when a new Royal Family Portrait was painted, but I could feel the anxiousness in the air even months after Queen Kriss's death. Everyone was still worried how the king - and the people, honestly - would survive without the Queen. And painting a portrait without the King's wife… well, it was slightly depressing and worrisome, to say the least.

A familiar laugh sounded out, and I blanched as the woman started speaking. "Yeah, I started finger painting when I was a baby, and I've been doing art my entire life. Don't worry, though, I'm pretty sure I've improved since I was two." The familiar voice laughed again. My jaw dropped as I stopped walking. That sounded like…

King Maxon and my sister May turned the corner into the same hall as me.

I just stood there, staring, as they came my way. _May_ was the painter? Why didn't she tell me?

"America?" May looked happy, but not very surprised, obviously. She had known I was here, but _I_ hadn't known she was coming here.

"You know the Prince's Nanny?" My eyes snapped to Maxon as he said this. I noticed a small twinkle in his eyes as he tried not to smile. I looked at him suspiciously. He knew something I didn't.

"Know her?" May rushed up to me, enveloping me in a warm hug that I returned. "She's my older sister!" She looked up at me, as she was a few inches shorter than me, and gave me a huge grin, her face happy and bright. "I've missed you so much! I didn't think I'd see you until later!"

I thought that the joyful tears flowing out of my eyes would never stop. I had missed her. I had missed her so much. All this time, I don't know what I was thinking, but I never stopped to think about my family. My sister came to me, and I felt overjoyed and saddened at the same time.

It was bittersweet.

It had pained me that I couldn't make the effort to come back home. It pained me, not being able to show my never-ending gratitude for my family. The guilt of leaving my baby daughter with my mother had been eating me up inside. I hadn't even sent many letters home.

Yet, that all shattered away when she mentioned a name that I haven't heard in so long. "Adelynne misses you a lot, America. We all do." She said, wiping the happy tears on her face. A small smile quirked up her lips. "It's really lucky I brought her with me, because she was begging to see you."

I froze, comprehending what she had said. My eyes widened when I understood. My baby. My baby daughter was here. In this very Palace.

"Oh, May… How did you… ?" I trailed off, unable to think, my heart was nearly bursting with joy. "Oh thank you! May, I love you so much!" I cried out as I threw my arms around her and embraced her with all I had in me. My beloved sister was here, and my daughter was here too. I couldn't wait to see my baby.

I glanced over my shoulder and looked at King Maxon. He was grinning from ear to ear. I couldn't believe it. Did he make up all of that rubbish he said to me about being sorry, and not being able to have my daughter here?

I smiled and bowed. I was grateful and overjoyed, but, I'm pretty sure the smile I had on would say it all.

He stood up swiftly and cleared his throat. May turned around and giggled a bit. "You know, he's quite fond of you America. I'm glad you were able to make peace with the King."

I stiffened at sound of her words. I didn't want to break her "romantic-fantasy bubble" too soon. Instead, I gritted my teeth and forced a smile."Yep!" I replied sheepishly. I tried to send my sister a look to make sure she didn't get the wrong idea.

Maxon smiled, oblivious to the cheeky looks my sister was sending me. I nearly rolled my eyes at her. "Of course. I'm terribly sorry, but I have to leave early for a meeting with someone. Miss Singer, I have a guard waiting for you outside, his name is Avery, treat him well." I was little confused when he addressed May by Miss Singer. At first I had thought he had been talking to me. Then, though, he turned to me, his eyes twinkling. "And for you, America, I'll hope you see to it to complete your nanny duties?" He answered cheerfully, and I tried to hide a smile.

Of course, I was immensely pleased and happy. I didn't know how he had hidden this from me so well! I would think he would let something slip, since we had spent so much time together the past couple weeks. I nodded and watched him leave.

I turned to May with a happy smile. "As soon as I'm done with my job, I'll come see you." I squeezed her hands comfortingly. Then I wrapped my arms around her. "Oh, May, I missed you so much!" I felt my eyes starting to fill with tears as she pulled away and grabbed my hands.

"Adelynne will be so excited to see you!" She gushed. "And we have to talk about everything that's happened to you! Queen Kriss," May's smile faltered, "your job, your friends…" Her grin returned, and it was so contagious that I had to smile. "And, oh, Ames, I can't believe you're so close to the King." We started heading out, and May elbowed me lightly with a wink. "He must _really_ like you!"

I pursed my lips, trying to hide a smile, and ducked my head. "Well, I'm Chase's nanny now, so I see him a lot…"

May gasped. "Oh, I heard about that! This one magazine was saying that maybe the Prince is really horribly behaved, and that's why he needed a new nanny." May frowned. "Is that true? Do you like your job?"

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, for the first thing, yes, I do like my job. Two, the Prince is _very_ well behaved, May." I sent her a pointed look. "And didn't I tell you not to read those gossip magazines? They're all fake."

May shrugged as I opened the door. "Okay, okay. We have to talk more later, okay?" She asked as we walked through. She gave me a quick hug, squeezing me tightly before pecking me on the cheek. "I missed you so much!" She sighed. "Love you!"

"Love you too." I smiled.

May smiled and waved. As I was leaving, I saw my sister blush beet-red when she saw her handsome guard, (Avery, was it?) leave with her to escort her to her room.

Oh what young love! Then I realized how _old_ I was compared to May.

I sighed, wanting with all my heart to follow her. I wanted to see Adelynne, and talk about _everything_ but…

If I wanted to have more time with May and Adelynne, I had to make sure Chase got to sleep as soon as possible tonight… let's just hope the little Prince was feeling cooperative.

* * *

[ _Later that Evening_ ]

I very nearly started crying again when I saw my daughter again later that evening. She looked so cute, so happy, and I couldn't believe how much she'd grown. She was talking more now, and I could really understand her, and…

Well, spending with her and May was one of my best memories at the Palace yet. We talked, laughed, and played… Chelsey even came around to her room to say hello, and so May had the chance to meet one of my closest friends. Even though it was I only had time for dinner with May and Adelynne, I enjoyed every second spent with them. The food at the Palace was already good, but I felt that the what the butlers brought to May's room was even _better_ than usual, which is saying something. Then again, she was very high in importance nowadays, so maybe the cooks worked extra hard on her meals. May was so pleased with the food. She had high expectations already, because I had teased her and told her she would cry when she ate it because it was all so delicious. Adelynne too, even though she was a slightly picky four-year-old, ate the food with enthusiasm.

We talked about everything we could; what was happening back home (nothing much, really), my new friends, my job, my promotion, the prince, the royalty… Everything that happened between the months my sister and I had been apart.

She even hinted at my relationship with Maxon, but I simply brushed her off. If there was anyone I would tell if I was having any issues, it would be May, but I didn't see anything to talk. Maxon and I… well, we were certainly close friends. I wasn't sure if there was anything more. I knew I loved him. But romantically? I doubted that Maxon and I could ever be more than friends, even if we wanted to. It may seem a little inappropriate that I was so close to the king as a Six, but things had changed in the past ten years that Maxon had been King. Castes weren't as restricting anymore. People could be friends without being in the same caste. I liked that.

I had to leave May and Adelynne around seven, because I did have my job as a nanny for the Prince, but I promised to come see her in the morning for breakfast. After a quick hug goodnight, I headed over to Prince Chase's chambers.

I walked right in, finding Analiese with Prince Chase. The baby was on his stomach on the carpet, playing with a couple of stuffed toys. The maid was on the floor with him, smiling and laughing with the giggling boy. Analiese looked up when I came in.

"Oh, Miss." She smiled, her eyes wide with surprise. "I didn't know you would be back so early."

"It's seven, isn't it?" I asked, frowning at the clock.

Analiese laughed - she was the kind of person who was smiling all the time. "Oh, yes, it is. I suppose time just flew by." She stood up, brushing herself off. "Would you like to me to stay?" she asked eagerly. "I don't mind."

I suppressed a grin at her enthusiasm. For a moment, I wanted to accept her plea and let her watch Chase a little longer I could go back and see May and Adelynne. She wouldn't mind, I knew. But I knew Maxon would most likely be stopping by Chase's room. He usually did after his day as King was done. Did I really want to miss his visit? I still needed to thank him, after all. "No thanks, Analiese," I told her. Analiese's shoulders slumped, but her smile remained. She curtsied bashfully, even though I wasn't that much 'higher' than her in our jobs.

"Of course, Miss Singer," she told me shyly. "When would you like me to send in Hellen?" Hellen, Chase's night-sitter, came when I was done. She was a quiet and bookish, and was able to stay up all night to watch the Prince. But tonight, I wasn't in that much of a rush to leave. I shrugged.

"Tell her she can come at her leisure. I'm not feeling too tired tonight." Analiese nodded, waved good-bye, and then hurried out of the room.

I walked over to Chase, and then sat on the floor with him. "Hey, princey." I greeted. Chase lifted his head, mumbling something. His eyes widened when he saw me, and I laughed when he smiled in recognition.

"Meh!" He said enthusiastically. I smiled. 'Meh' was what he now called. I was slightly relieved and slightly disappointed he didn't call me 'Ma' anymore, but the Prince was a fast learner. He heard people calling me America, or sometimes my friends called me 'Mer.' So now he called me 'Meh.'

"Yes, it's Meh." I giggled at him. We played for a couple minutes, just enjoying our time together. I could tell the Prince was getting tired, though, and I knew I would have to get him to bed soon. When I was about to start getting Chase ready, the door to his room opened.

I stood up as Maxon entered. I shot him a grin, then rushed towards him, wrapping him in a hug. Too late, I realized the slight inappropriateness of it, but I didn't care. I squeezed him tightly. He was so warm, and comforting, and… homey. Maxon tentatively hugged me back for a moment before I pulled away. I hadn't wanted to, but I knew any longer would be considered inappropriate.

"What an enthusiastic greeting," Maxon chuckled amusedly, his eyes crinkling in the corners.

"Thank you so much." I grinned at him. "I can't believe you got them to come, Maxon!" I gave him a quick hug again, a grin never leaving my face. I had been waiting all day to stay thank you. Of course, I had enjoyed my time with May and Adelynne. But I always enjoyed seeing Maxon. And today was no different. He had brought my beloved sister and daughter to me. I owed him.

"You're welcome," Maxon's voice laughed again, sounding both surprised and amused.

"How'd you do it?" I asked. "I never told you about May."

Maxon winked. "You forget I'm the king. I have access to every file in the entire country."

I laughed again. "Well, thank you anyway. I know May will paint a wonderful portrait of you and Chase."

He smiled. "Are you happy, then? I did what I could to get Adelynne here."

"I couldn't be more happy, Maxon." He grinned at me.

"Then Mission Accomplished." He said cheerfully. I giggled.

"I still can't believe you did all this for me," I said incredulously.

"It makes you happy," he told me in a matter-of-fact voice. "I thought you knew, America, that I _enjoy_ making you happy." He raised an eyebrow at me. "You're quite an important person in my life, my dear." He told me with a kind smile.

I blushed and smiled back. I wanted to say something kind and sweet back, but I was at a loss for words. I almost hugged him again, but I didn't want it to become awkward. So I just beamed at him, hoping, praying that he understood what words could not convey.

He smiled back. "Well, I'm sorry, America, but I must be going now." My smile faltered. Excuse me? Maxon continued, "I have a late dinner meeting with Lady Veronikka." He grinned again, not understanding that I wanted him to stay. I needed him to stay. Had he not just felt the chemistry I had felt? I thought we had just had a moment. I swallowed.

"Of course," I said smoothly. I was surprised how easily I masked my worry and confusion. I smiled at him. He smiled back. "I'll see you later, then?" I hoped I would.

"Tomorrow." Maxon promised with nod. "You'll see me, your sister, Adelynne, and Mallory tomorrow. May wanted a day to get to know me and Chase before she paints us." Maxon winked. I grinned, suppressing a roll of my eyes. Of course May would come up with whatever reason she could to talk with the King and Prince.

I nodded. "Good-bye, Maxon."

He bowed his head. "Good night."

* * *

[] THREE DAYS LATER []

"Hmm… move slightly to the left, Your Majesty," May directed Maxon as he sat with Chase, who squirmed and wiggled, trying to get free. King Maxon and Prince Chase were posing for the new painting May was asked to create, but unfortunately, Chase wasn't cooperating.

"A-lynne! A-lynne!" he kept repeating determinedly. Although my daughter wasn't here, Prince Chase knew she had to be somewhere in the castle- and she was. Adelynne was actually right outside the door. Mallory was watching her for a moment, since technically Adelynne was a guest of May, and a lady at the Palace. I knew that if Adelynne had only come to visit me, and not come as May's guest, she would be cooped up in my room waiting for me to finish working. It was lucky that May had brought her.

In the past few days, little Chase had played with Adelynne in all of his free time- which, despite him being a little baby boy, was not actually a lot of time, since he was the prince, and had a nanny. Despite him only being five months old. Still, he and Adelynne had formed a quick friendship, probably because they were both little kids. Since Adelynne was three years older than him, she treated him like a little brother, finding joy whenever he copied what she did. She waltzed around the Palace proudly, the little Prince trailing after her, and I had to admit it was very adorable. It was also a plus for me, as his temporary nanny. I got to play with both him and Adelynne, and get to know Mallory too. Mallory had been chosen by Chelsey to take care of Adelynne so May wouldn't have to, so the two of us spent a lot of time together.

May straightened up, scrutinizing her painting with a sigh. "I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's rather hard to paint with him moving around so much."

Maxon smiled gently, putting Chase down. "It's fine. I'm getting rather hungry, anyway," he said with a laugh as Chase toddled towards the door gleefully. "It's fine, let her in," he waved a hand at the butler by the door, who quickly pulled the handle that Chase was reaching at.

As the door opened, a little girl rushed in, giggling. "Can't catch me, Mallory!" Adelynne squealed with delight as Mallory rushed in after her, a worried look on her face.

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty," Mallory bowed her head embarrassedly. "I'll take Adelynne out now." She grabbed Adelynne's hand, gently tugging her towards the door, but Maxon stopped her with a raise of his hand.

"Oh, it's fine, Mallory," he tried to hide an amused smile. "We're taking a break for a minute."

Chase toddled over to Adelynne, then tugged at her shirt. "A-lynne. A-lynne."

Adelynne giggled as she bent down to his level. Her dark chestnut hair cascaded across her face, so she used one of her slightly chubby hands to brush it away. I stared at her in wonder. She was just so adorable, I loved her with all my heart.

"Wanna play?" she asked sweetly. As Chase nodded enthusiastically, Adelynne giggled and grabbed his hand, pulling him out the door.

Mallory curtsied. "I'll attend to them, Your Majesty," she said with a smile, then scurried out after them.

I made to follow them, as Chase was my responsibility, but Maxon shook his head. "Stay, please," he asked, but I could tell it wasn't really a request. He wanted to talk to me about something. Anxiousness crept throughout my body. I stood there nervously as Maxon assisted May with packing up her things. What did he want to talk to me about?

"Can you get Avery?" May looked up at me as she folded in her easel. Seeing my confused look, she blushed. "I mean… the guard outside said he would help me take my stuff to my room."

I nodded, filing her embarrassed look in the back of my mind. Was she so familiar with him already? It'd only been a few days.

I hurried towards the door, slipping out quickly. Glancing around, I frowned. There was no guard outside the room. I looked around anxiously. Had something happened? Why was he not here?

An alarm answered my question, and I ducked back inside the room.

Maxon and May had heard the alarm too, and we nearly ran into each other as I opened the door.

"Eek!" May screeched as she bumped into me. Maxon caught her as she fell backwards, and for a fleeting second the three of us simply stared at each other. Then, as one, we turned and raced down the hallway.

"Where are Adelynne and Chase?" I asked worriedly as Maxon, May, and I rushed along towards a safe room. May was little bit behind us (she was never one for running, and her legs were shorter than both mine and Maxon), but she was still keeping up.

"They're with Mallory. I'm sure they're fine," he reassured me breathlessly as we sprinted through the Palace, but I could see worry in his eyes.

We continued running in silence, and I couldn't help but worry. Where were the children? Were they safe? I wasn't just worried for my daughter, but also for Chase. I had grown fond of the little prince as he had grown up, just like I'd known I would. And I was his nanny. I should be with him right now.

I looked behind me for a second, shooting May an encouraging look. She was farther behind now, about ten feet, but she was keeping up. I wanted to stay back and help her, but I knew it would only slow us down.

As we turned a corner, I nearly tripped on a large piece of rubble on the floor. Maxon reached out to grab me from falling, and we continued on. I saw deep cracks in the wall, and I wondered anxiously what could've shaken the structure so much. Then I saw the large hole in the wall. An explosive, I realized quickly, had been thrown at the Palace and had damaged the structure. Maxon cursed under his breath. He, too, had seen the wall. We continued to run, but maybe a little faster than before. He and I both knew that this area wasn't safe. The structure was badly damaged, and a wall or a ceiling could collapse.

"America!" cried a shriek that came behind me.

Maxon and I whipped around. My gaze landed on May. She had tripped on the piece of rubble, but she had gotten up. Now, she faced another danger.

A rebel.

My heart caught in my throat. I tried to move towards her, to push her out of the way, to protect my baby sister, but I couldn't move a muscle. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't move. I couldn't even speak. May looked like she couldn't move either. My little sister stood with her back towards me, facing towards the rebel. She and the dirty man stared at each other for a moment, before the rebel struck.

My baby sister would be taken out of this world, just because I couldn't do anything. I was a coward, and I was tearing myself apart just at the thought of losing May.

As fast as a blink, the rebel surged towards her, a glinting knife in hand, and I finally made a noise, only to hear a desperate inhuman scream come from my mouth.

Then I saw another person. A guard? In a uniform? Everything was so hazy and unclear, and my head felt so heavy. The guard (I think?) leaped in front of May, shielding her from the rebel. The knife, instead of stabbing May, plunged straight into the guard's chest.

I screamed in horror. Or was that sound from May?

Was the guard Avery? I tried moving my feet, but I could only feel a heavy weight pulling me down even more. My eyes flickered, and the shining of the blade suddenly disappeared. Instead of a clean blade, it was almost completely engulfed in red blood.

I closed my eyes for a second, feeling sick as tears gushed out of my eyes, but my eyes flashed open as I heard the familiar sound of a gunfire.

I leaped away from the noise, which rocketed from right next to me. I turned to see a shaky, pale, Maxon holding the gun straight out in front of him. His jaw was locked, determined, but his eyes held a different story. They were terrified, wide and surprised at what he did.

May screamed again, and my head turned towards her. She was sitting on the ground now, and she held the guard, who I recognized as Avery, in her arms, and the shot rebel lay on the ground next to her. Avery was dying, I realized with a start.

"Avery! Avery, please!" May was sobbing, her body shaking. She clutched him tightly, staring at his pale face. "You can't die! Please! I _love_ you!" May held Avery's bloodied body closer to her, rocking him back and forth with her own body, repeating those same words that never seemed to wear out. A year's worth of tears were being wept where my sister lay, holding her "sweetheart" closely.

I gasped, taking a step to my sister, who still sobbed loudly, in her only little world. I hesitated as the wall shook a little, before continued towards her.

I was stopped by Maxon, who grabbed my wrist from behind. My head whipped back, shocked that he was pulling back. "Stop!" he cried desperately, pulling me back. His grip was tight and firm on my hand, and I struggled to be free, my eyes jumping from him to the distressed May. "The ceiling! It's about to collapse! You'll be crushed!"

My gaze traveled to the wall, and my eyes followed the cracks. The biggest cracks, the majority of them, were heading up to the ceiling. Those cracks were spreading like a spider's web, small but numerous, and I gasped. Maxon was right. The ceiling would collapse, crushing May, dead Avery, and the cruel rebel.

I could feel all my memories with May appear in front of me. My head was locked in a room of despair, and all my moments shared with my sister were flashing all at once. Her first painting ever, her high school graduation, my wedding day, and the day she earned that art award. My little sister's life was flashing by me. I couldn't even bear to know what she was thinking.

I broke free from his grasp. "MAY!" I screamed desperately.

Broken from her trance, May looked up, her eyes wide and tearful. "Ames…" her mouth formed the words, but I didn't hear any sound. She didn't know the danger she was in, I noticed desperately. She was too distraught about Avery, so she couldn't comprehend. In the last few days, my little sister had fallen in love. I wanted to comfort her, to tell her soothingly that maybe what they had… maybe it wasn't really love. But looking into her eyes, I could see it. She loved Avery with her whole heart, and it broke her that he had just died.

May's eyes shot up at the wall, and turned back to me.

Her eyes would haunt me for the rest of my life.

Her eyes were filled with sadness and helplessness. It seemed like a deep pit of darkness, taking you in with all of her despair and sorrow. Tears collected up and streamed down her cheek slowly. After a few tears, the rest ran down her cheek like rocks would run down a cliff.

Her scream terrified me.

"America...? America? Help me, America, save me-" She whispered.

There were more cracks in the ceiling now. I saw a couple bigger pieces of rubble fall from the ceiling. Desperate, I surged forward again, only to be held back by Maxon.

"LET ME GO!" I screamed at Maxon, flailing in his strong arms. "MAY! MAY!" More pieces of rubble fell.

Faintly, I heard Maxon yelling at me. "You'll die!" I wasn't paying attention to him, but I remember the obvious distress, the panic, and the fear. Despite my struggles, I could not be freed from his hold. I realize later that Maxon and I were evenly matched. While I was desperate to save May's life, he was always willing to do anything to

May looked up at me again, her cheeks streaked with tears. She saw how distressed I looked, tears streaming down my tears, and her eyes widened.

"America?" she questioned, her dress a dark crimson red from Avery's blood.

I heard no more of my beloved baby sister after hearing her cry out my name. That was the last word she spoke as the ceiling collapsed, everything coming down in a big crash.

 _END OF CHAPTER TWELVE_

* * *

 **I already know how people will respond to this:**

 _ **MY GOSH, YOU'RE A MONSTER**_

 _ **I hate you! Ugh, how could you do this!**_

 _ **I'm crying. OMG OMG OMG THE FEEEEEEEELS.**_

* * *

 **And for that, I'm sorry. May is a favorite of mine, too. I didn't want to kill her off. I'm not going to say I needed to either, since that's not exactly true. But I did do it, either way. Have comfort in the fact that I am an unpublished author, this has no canon writing at all, and May is alive in the original series.**

 **Thanks for reading. Go ahead and Review! Pent out your anger on me through a brightly lit screen! Go on, I don't mind!**


	14. All is Lost

**...Wow.**

 **I cannot BELIEVE how many people** **reviewed from just, like, two days ago. It's probably not that much compared to other stories, but still. It warms my heart. Like, seriously. Keep doing that and I may just melt from the inside out. But some people are worth melting for. ;)**

 **Also, I decided to do some shout-outs and responses to reviews! If you're not mentioned I still THANK YOU SO MUCH. I'm only responding to people who reviewed AFTER my last update, but ALL reviews are very much appreciated!**

* * *

 **To** _Mabma80 **:**_ **I am too. So here have this - *shoves this chapter towards you***

 **To** _canifindtheone_ **: YOU LITERALLY MADE MY DAY. Thank you so much! You gave me the motivation to update again! Also, _yes_ , I didn't make Kriss a monster because she isn't! I'm pretty sure you agree with me when I say that Kriss is a good person and I hate it when writers don't portray her that way. Keep being a wonderful beautiful person and I'll keep writing chapters! We're all happy. :)**

 **To** _KatelyntheSelectionfan_ **: I hope this is sufficient!**

 **To** _Spring04_ **: Thank you for not going all crazy that May died! I love her too, but, it needed some drama. You'll see why soon.**

 **To** _fandomnation12_ ** _:_ First of all, thank you! People are always saying my story is good but honestly I think it could be so much better! Glad you like it though! Thanks to you too for not being too upset about May's death! I'm also glad you think I'm writing the romance buildup/tension well.**

 **To** _AnnaR5_ **: Hearing from you was great because it meant that someone has stayed with me from practically the beginning. You reviewed early on, yes? Thank you for staying and for reviewing again! Also good job for quoting me with the 'my gosh you're a monster' thing. ;) I was waiting for someone to do that.**

 **To all** _Guests_ **: Thank you for reading this story and reviewing! Reviews make me smile. :)**

 **SPECIAL SHOUTOUTS :**

 **To** _sweetwaterspice_ **: You haven't messaged to me in a while, but still thank you for all your help in the beginning! You helped advise my plot and help me stay on track with the story!**

 **To** _MadisonMarieMcLean_ **: You are practically my motivation for this story now. Just thinking about the fact that you messaged me with such kind thoughts makes me smile! I'm looking forward to a happy friendship with you as a fellow author! :)**

 **ENJOY!**

* * *

 **Chapter Thirteen**

I screamed, an inhuman sound, flailing in Maxon's arms desperately. I couldn't see her anymore. I couldn't really see _anything_ anymore. A cloud of dust covered everything. I coughed and screamed. The rubble was heaped in a large pile over where May, Avery, and the rebel had been, but I couldn't see any sign that they were under there.

"MAY! MAY!" I sobbed. I had trouble breathing from all the dust. My body spasmed as I cried and choked on the air. I struggled harder as Maxon started dragging me away from the rubble. "NO! LET ME GO!" I pounded desperately on his arms as I coughed and screamed, which were wrapped around my waist securely, but they wouldn't budge. "MAY!" I called out one last time as we reached the corner, even though I couldn't even see the five feet ahead of me anymore.

I think Maxon tried to say something to me. But the thundering noise from the crash, plus the blood pounding in my ears, rendered me deaf. I was alone and isolated in my world, with only my thoughts.

 _MAY._ was all I could think. _I need to save her. May. Little May. My baby sister._ I could tell I was having trouble breathing. Everything seemed to be in slow motion as Maxon practically dragged me through the halls.

As far as I knew, we weren't in any immediate danger. We only passed Royal Guards, no rebels. It seemed none of the guards recognized Maxon, though, because they didn't try to help him. That, or he told them not to.

My anger turned on Maxon. What was he _doing_? I could save May! Now he's pulling me away, and she's dying, if not already dead. My blind hate heightened. I clawed at his arms, screamed my throat raw, flailed my limbs everywhere, and did everything I could to make Maxon let me free, but he steadily pulled me away from the rubble, and May. I knew I was drawing attention to myself by screaming, and during a rebel attack too, but I didn't care. Maxon tried to clamp a hand over my mouth to make me quiet (or quieter, at least), but I bit his finger, causing him to tear his hand away from my mouth. He let out a string of curse words under his breath, and I felt smug for a moment before resuming screaming.

As we reached one of the servants' safe rooms, Maxon had to let go of me with one arm so he could open the door. Realizing this was my chance, I pulled free of his grip, taking a step to run back to May, but he grabbed me by the wrist, shoving me into the room and locking the door. He turned me around forcefully until I was facing him, pushed up against his chest. I stopped screaming for a moment, surprised, but then I sobbed. "Please, let me _go_!" I begged, but his arms only tightened around my arms, which were pinned to my sides.

Maxon looked at me for a second, his eyes filled with terror. "I'm sorry, America. No." I cried harder. "Shhh…" he shushed me gently, loosening his grip a little. "Calm down, please, it's okay."

"NO, IT'S NOT!" I suddenly screamed, jerking away from him. I pushed myself up against the wall opposite of him and the door, crying. My legs gave out, and I slid down the wall. I sobbed softer now, my voice lowered to a whisper. "My sister… May just died." I sucked in a breath, starting to hyperventilate. "She's dead she's dead she's dead she's dead…" the words kept repeating in my head as I trailed on, hyperventilating. Why did everyone I loved had to leave me? My father had died a few years back, and my sister from a heart problem, and then Aspen, and now May. Drowning in my suffering, I suddenly had the urge to follow them. To stop with this. To give in to death.

I sobbed harder when I remembered Adelynne. Where was she? Was she okay? If she was hurt, it would be the death of me. If anything happened to her, I would kill every last rebel in this Palace. And when I was done, I'd die.

I felt myself going into shock, my brain whirring at hundred miles an hour so that I couldn't even comprehend what I was thinking anymore. I just cried, not wanting to be here, not wanting to be anywhere, wishing that this was all a dream and that I could wake up at home in Carolina. I tried to picture myself there. My father is there, and so is my mother. My older sister is there again, and Kota is smiling warmly at me. He's part of the family again. May is there, grinning happily, and sweet, quiet Gerad is just holding my hand in his small one. Aspen is there too and…

Maxon.

My eyes snap open, out of my imaginary land. I start crying harder when I remember what's going on. Why had Maxon been in my perfect fantasy land? It scared me that I was already so close to the king that he became one of the most important people in my life.

I couldn't bring myself to look at him after this shocking realization hit me like a brick. I just tucked in my knees to my chest, put my head into my arms, and cried. I cried.

After maybe half an hour, my sobs had turned into cries, and now whimpers. I heard nothing as I stared off blankly, so I assumed Maxon was either too timid or shocked to talk to me.

I looked off into space, wishing for a moment that May were here… well, obviously. But even if it was someone else who died, May would know what to do with me. When I would get upset at home, she would just be there for me, and we didn't even have to talk.

"I could've saved her." I finally spoke, my voice raw and vulnerable. I wasn't sure who I was trying to prove that to. Myself, or Maxon. Why did I have to prove it? Couldn't I have saved her? I wanted to believe I could have. But at the same time, I didn't want to believe it. Because that meant I could've saved her. That made it my fault she died. "You should've let me. I should've gone after her." Maxon seemed shocked I had even uttered anything as he stared at me.

Then his eyes hardened. "So you _want_ to be killed?" He asked harshly. "I couldn't let you die, America."

I knew he was only trying to snap me out of this horrible, life draining faze of misery, but it didn't work. "I might as well." I whispered, my voice hoarse. "With her… _gone_ ," I couldn't utter the word 'dead,' "I might as well be too."

"Don't you _dare_ ever say that." Maxon's voce was strangled, surprised, and slightly angry. "Don't you dare ever say that, America Singer." I closed my eyes and hung my head as silent tears streamed down my face.

 _Why shouldn't I say that?_ I wondered. It's true. May was my best friend. There's no point in anything anymore.

"Think of your family," Maxon pleaded, his voice softer but still shaky. "Your mother would be devastated to lose you. And at the same time as your sister?" He shook his head. "I couldn't do that to them, and you shouldn't either."

Anger filled me. He didn't understand at all. This wasn't about me, or my family. This was about May, and Aspen, and all those I loved who had died.

"I've already lost enough people, Maxon!" I told him, my voice cracking. "The longer I'm alive, the more people I love will die. I will hurt _more people_." I sobbed. "And more people will hurt _me_. My family can handle one more death. Especially now that I hardly ever see them anymore." I slumped against the wall.

Maxon made a noise of both incredulousness and anger. "So you're saying, after awhile, death gets easier to handle?" He scoffed. "You, of all people, should know that that is _not_ true." He spat.

I knew he was thinking about his own parents - his father had died a few years back, and his mother was in poor condition -, and Kriss, and probably a lot of other people he had known who'd died in rebel attacks like these.

"My family is my everything, Maxon." I told him. "They're all I have left. And most of them are dead anyway. At least I can be reunited with them." I thought of my father, Kenya, May, Aspen, and Kota - who was so separated that he might as well be dead. Gerad was all my mother had left.

She would blame me for May's death. I was supposed to watch over her, protect her. Especially here at the Palace. And I've failed her. I've lost my mother's favorite daughter, her little girl. She'd hate me.

"It's all my fault." I spoke with realization, my voice faint and weak.

Maxon sighed with exasperation, but I knew it was true.

It was. May's death, Avery's death, Raychell's death, and now I was risking Adelynne's life.

Everything was all my fault. I didn't know how, or why, but everything pointed back to me. May and Avery died because she had come to visit _me_. Raychell died while she was with me, and so did Queen Kriss!

Why couldn't I have saved so many people I held dear to my heart?

Maxon huffed. "Sometimes you can be so selfish." He told me harshly. "Why can you never just be happy you're still alive? Why do you blame yourself for things you can't control? Why do you want to inflict more pain on other people by wishing you were dead?" He voice broke. I could see tears in his eyes when my face turned to him. "And why, of all things, do you believe that your family is all you have left?" He looked heartbroken. I opened my mouth, but couldn't manage to say anything.

"Think of your friends here - Chelsey, Valleree, Keahna, and Veronikka." Their names did make me happier but I couldn't manage a smile. "Already you've grown so close." Maxon told me. I couldn't help but agree. "They'd be heartbroken if you died."

There was a moment of silence as I processed this.

"And I can't believe you forgot about me." Maxon's broken voice spoke up. My head whipped to him. He was staring at me, his eyes shining - though I couldn't tell if it was from tears or something… else.

He grabbed my hands, holding them tightly. We were both crying. "I will always be there for you, America." He told me passionately. I could tell he wasn't lying.

But that hurt me more. I burst into loud ugly sobs, burrowing my head into Maxon's chest. "You'll leave me!" I wailed. "Everyone I love will have gone!" In the back of my head, I wondered if I had just admitted I loved Maxon. Of course I did, but we'd never said it - it sounded too childish. We loved each other like siblings… right?

Maxon rubbed my back gently, holding me close. Thoughts left my mind as I listened to his soothing voice. "I will always be here, America. No matter how many times you break me, or I break you, I will _always_ be here."

It felt wrong, but also so very right as he wrapped his strong arms around me. I cried into his shoulder, whimpering. I'd cried earlier, but this felt so much _better_. It actually made me have some hope.

Nothing was ever really that bad when I was with Maxon.

I tried to relax as my cries mellowed down into sniffles. I realized what I was doing, and I stiffened. Maxon had his arms around me tightly, and I was _clutching_ his shirt. If anyone found us like this, we would both get into trouble. I could be killed. I pulled away from Maxon, and he let me, helping me sit up. But I could tell he was confused, and worried. Maxon looked at me, concerned. He could tell something else had been wrong just now, besides my mourning over my sister. But he said nothing.

I let out a shaky breath, unable to speak. If I told him what I had just thought, that would make everything even more embarrassing and awkward. I resorted to simply staring at my lap, occasionally wiping the stray tear trailing down my cheeks. I could still feel his intense stare, but neither of us spoke.

Maxon could tell I was beginning to heal. I didn't want to die anymore, but I certainly felt like I was.

Maxon broke the silence after a minute. "I know it's heartbreaking." He started off very softly, as if afraid a loud noise would break me. Like I was fragile glass. "But you have to pull through, America." He urged in a low voice. I whimpered. "I know you're strong. You'll be okay."

I sobbed. "I'm not okay, Maxon."

He sighed and swallowed. "I know you're not right now. But we'll be okay. We're in this together, America." He lifted my chin so I would meet his eyes. "I'll always be with you, remember?"

I opened my mouth to speak, and then closed it again. How could I possible explain what was racing through my mind? I moved my chin out of his grasp, looking down in my lap. I could feel Maxon's worry and sadness.

"What are you thinking?" He whispered, almost reverently.

"I…" My voice caught. A thousand different excuses ran through my head. A hundred different lies were on the tip of my tongue. But I knew the truth now. In this time of misery, and sadness, I realized the truth. It was a horrible, frightening truth, but it was reality. Every time with Maxon raced through my head. From the moment we met during the rebel attack, to the day I talked with him in the garden. I remembered the day he heard me play piano, and sing, and when I became Chase's nanny. I remembered every walk in the garden, ever intense gaze, every sweet word. I remembered the beach trip, how we had cried in each other's arms and laughed at the other's jokes.

After all that, I had realized one thing. I was falling in love with the King of Illea, Maxon Schreave. I wasn't in love yet. But I certainly had feelings for him. And that scared me.

"I…" I swallowed, staring into his eyes. I wasn't able to say it. I couldn't admit it. I was a coward.

Maxon's gaze was intense. I couldn't look away, even if I wanted too. I tried to tell him what I was thinking, what words were on the tip of my tongue. I hoped he understood what I was saying without words.

Maxon leaned forward quickly, gently grabbing my hair with his hand. He pulled my lips to his in a quick, fluid motion. His kiss was soft and gentle, and I could feel his care for me through the kiss.

For a moment I just stayed there, shocked and paralyzed. And then, I found myself _kissing back._ All the pressure, anger, and sadness overwhelmed me, and I pressed hard against his lips. My tears wet my eyelashes, but I kept my eyes closed, squeezed shut. Maxon pulled me closer, chest to chest, and I moved my arms around his neck in a tight embrace.

I could feel the electricity between us. It was real, and strong. I wanted it to wash over me, drown me. I wanted to forget what was going on. I wanted to be away from here, and just stay with Maxon forever. Blood rushed to my head, and I heard Maxon mutter something against my lips. I couldn't decipher what'd he said. I was too distracted by Maxon's hand on my waist, one in my hair. Wherever we touched, I tingled. I was practically tingling all over, that was how close we were. I shivered at our closeness. I wanted more. I needed more. I felt drunk in this kiss.

But a resounding click made us break apart, gasping for breath. For a second, we stared at each other in alarm, before jumping to our feet. I breathed heavily as I patted my hair down and straightened my dress as the door to the safe room swung open.

A dark head peeked inside, and large bright eyes stared at me and Maxon. "Your Majesty?" Chelsey gasped, staring at Maxon. She turned around, yelling back into the Palace, "I found him! I found the king!" She opened the door wider for us, gesturing for us to come out. Maxon and I walked out together. My cheeks were heated, and I knew his were too. Both of us were dirty from the dust, and my cheeks were streaked with tears. Chelsey wrapped me in an embrace, silently crying. She reassured me, without me having to ask, that Adelynne and Chase and all our friends were safe.

While I felt an overwhelming sense of relief, I was also shocked and horrified at myself. What had I just done? Maxon… our kiss, the safe room. I was so ashamed. Had I really admitted to myself that I had romantic feelings for Maxon? What had I done?

Chelsey was trying to speak to me, but I only stared at her blankly. I couldn't… I couldn't handle anymore. My eyes teared up. I felt myself starting to back away.

I saw Maxon. He met my eyes, and a jolt shot through me. I stared, terrified. What did he think of me? What had I done? We could never be together. How could I have even thought that for a minute? He's the king. I'm a nanny. Not only would we be breaking the law, but I couldn't help but think that Maxon's kiss was only to comfort me. It didn't mean anything to him. Not much, anyway.

But it did to me, and that's what was bad.

Tears streamed down my cheeks. Chelsey stared at me worriedly, repeating my name with growing panic. But I could only hear what was inside my head. Her voice was muted and soft. I was confused, angry, sad. Maxon was already surrounded by guards. I could tell they were trying to convince him to go to a safer area, but he resisted. His eyes stayed locked on mine, growing more and more worried. He tried to move towards me.

That was the last I saw of him before I turned and raced down the hall, away from the Maxon, away from everything I could.

I didn't look back, even when he called after me, like I'd know he would.

* * *

I ran, and ran, and ran.

I expected Chelsey to run after me. But the halls were too crowded. Maids and butlers rushed everywhere, panicked. Destruction and rubble lay all over the place. I cried silently, pushing my way through the crowd. Tears streaked down my cheeks. I could feel them making tracks in the thin layer of dust that had settled and imprinted on my skin. I needed to get out. I needed to leave the Palace.

I needed to run away.

I wasn't thinking clearly, I knew. But I didn't care. I was panicking. I was scared. I was _ashamed_. How could I have been so stupid as to kiss the King? How could I have been so gullible as to start to _fall in love with him_? I cried at my foolishness as I raced out of the Palace. The only way to escape the Palace was to run away. I couldn't face the King. I just couldn't.

Plus, I couldn't handle being there anymore. It was suffocating, and I felt like I couldn't breathe. That was where May had died. That was the place that had snuffed out a bright light. The Palace was now a cloud of darkness that seemed to block out all light.

While running, I didn't worry about Chase or Adelynne. Chelsey had told me they were safe, and I trusted her to take care of Adelynne. Chase didn't need me, though. Chase was the Prince. He, like his father, had no reason to be connected to me. I was a nobody. I couldn't believe I had convinced myself that I could ever be able to love the King. There was just no way we could ever be together, even if he had feelings for me too. I doubted he had feelings for me, though. As friends, of course, but lovers? The kiss… Maxon loved me as a friend. He wanted to comfort me. I couldn't hold that against him. Even if the kiss confused me more than anything I could remember.

 _It's better if we stayed apart,_ my brain insisted adamantly to my heart when I thought of Maxon.

If only my heart was better at listening.

* * *

They caught up to me before I even reached the main road. A black car drove up behind me before pulling up in front of me, blocking my path. I almost tried to run, but it was no use. I was tired. Exhausted. And besides, I would never get away.

Valleree got out of the car. As she got out, she said into a walkie talkie, "I've got 'er, Chels." Then she slammed the door behind her, glaring at me angrily, and stomped over. She stopped in front of me, towering over my tired, crying form. I sniffled. That seemed to soften her, but not by much. She still glared at me. At first I expected yelling, or a hit. Instead, Valleree gave me a bone-crushing hug.

"You're so stupid!" She exclaimed angrily. I could see the worry and concern in her eyes, even if she acted angry. "America, you could've been killed!"

I just let out a sob and wrapped my arms around her, hiccupping. I knew I deserved her anger. But for something she didn't even know I'd done.

Valleree shut up as I hugged her. She pulled away, but still held me at arms-length. "America?" She frowned. "What happened?"

I could only cry a little more. I felt so embarrassed. Here I was, blubbering like an idiot. My face was streaked with tears and snot. My hair and dress were probably both messes after running. And I was shivering in the cool afternoon. At that moment, I just wanted my sister. I knew she'd be able to help me.

"C'mon," she grabbed my hand and started pulling me to the car. I almost resisted, but I was too tired.

I had never known love could be so exhausting.

* * *

Once I got back to the Palace, I said my good-byes to Adelynne and my mother, who had come to the Palace to bring her home. I very nearly asked to go home with her. She too was mourning. My mother was worried for me. And I wanted to go home. I couldn't bear being so close to Maxon, and yet being so far away. But maybe he knew of my confusion. Maybe he hoped that after time, we could go back to before. But I didn't want to go back to before. How would I be able to be only be friends with someone I was in love with?

Going home would be worse, though. Even being with my mother and daughter wouldn't help. Besides, now, more than ever, without May to supply my mother with income, I needed to work. I had to stay here and work as a maid. If not for my sake, then for my mother's and daugter's.

After my mother left with Adelynne, I immediately burst into tears. I knew I needed my friends. Luckily, they were there for me. They would always be there for me.

I gathered my four closest friends; Chelsey, Valleree, Veronikka, and Keahnna. I told them all that had happened. Everything. From the moment Maxon and I met and all the way to our kiss in the safe-room. I had to. I had to get it off my chest.

They didn't judge me when I out-right refused to accept Maxon's offer to become Chase's permanent nanny.

And I tried to convince myself that I was not in love with him as I avoided Maxon at every chance. I went back to my old job as a maid, but I made sure my red hair was covered and my cap was low so I was less recognizable. I begged Chelsey for the jobs away from Maxon; in the kitchen, in the lower floors. I couldn't bear to face him.

But at the same time, I longed to simply see his face.

* * *

There was a funeral the next day. I didn't cry. All my tears had been used. I was completely dried up. My only regret was that I didn't get to say good-bye. And that the funeral could've been nicer for my baby sister. It was all dark and grey, and the bodies were all in body-bags so that you couldn't even distinguish who was who. It was sickening. My bright, shining light of a sister deserved better.

The funeral reminded me of Aspen's. Well, it didn't remind me. A bitter taste filled my mouth when I remembered that I hadn't had the chance to attend Aspen's funeral. I didn't even know if they had one for him. But if they did, this is what I imagined it would be like - dreary, boring, and depressing. A suffocating event that gave nothing to honor the memory of the dead.

I hated it.

Thinking of Aspen helped me to avoid Maxon when I caught him looking at me. I was embarrassed still. And I was afraid. Remembering the love of my life distracted me. It gave me more hope that it was possible to push away Maxon. Aspen and I were in love - _are_ in love. I still love Aspen. I can't be in love with Maxon. I just can't. _They're so different,_ I told myself doubtfully. _How can I love one when I love the other?_

I'd be betraying Aspen by loving Maxon. I couldn't do that. Aspen was my best friend. _So is Maxon,_ a part of me whispered. _Maxon is just as important to you now_. But I couldn't fall in love with Maxon. I just couldn't. I kept repeating that to myself insistently. Needless to say, it didn't work. It was like trying to drown out all the background noise with one loud noise. It just made me feel sick and tired and lose my concentration.

Eventually, I shoved all thoughts away about _both_ men. I stared at the body bags, thinking instead of May. The words of condolences droned on and on. They were staying stupid things like 'they died nobly and will be remembered with honor.' My sister didn't die nobly. She died in a cruel, horrible way, brought to death by the hands and the work of corrupted, evil people. The only way I didn't scream out loud and yell that _this was not right_ , that _this is not what my baby sister deserved_ , was by imagining May with me, a comforting presence.

This made me start to cry, but the tears were both happy and sad. They mingled on my cheeks and on my lips, salty and warm. I closed my eyes and more tears leaked out of the corners.

I imagined her next to me, whispering and giggling in my ears. I imagined her having to stand on her tiptoes to reach my ears. I imagined her eyes to be the only thing bright in the entire world. I imagined her soft laugh, her happy smile, and her fiery red hair, similar to my own. I remembered her slender hands that would be _great_ for playing a piano, but she chose art instead. She used her hands to create masterpieces that people would enjoy for centuries. My music made me happy in the present, but hers made people happy now and forever.

But now, with her gone, I felt like there was no longer any _forever_. Only now.

And now was looking pretty horrible without my baby sister in it.

 _END OF CHAPTER THIRTEEN_

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 **REVIEW what you think will happen next!**


	15. Creating Destiny

**Hello my lovelies!**

 **I'm baaaaack. I've gotten so many awesome reviews, thank you SO MUCH, oh my gosh. Just keep doing what you're doing! ;) I'm so sorry I disappointed some of you when I didn't post in awhile. Is it bad that I made some of you cry, too? I can't really tell if crying when reading a story is good, or bad. I rarely cry when I read, I usually just feel sad (I'm a soulless monster, I know).**

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 **Also, SHOUTOUT to those who reviewed many times. Like, wow. You're just great. Special 'thank you's to:**

 **canifindtheone: YOU ARE LITERALLY MY FAVORITE PERSON EVER. Okay, maybe not since I don't really know you, but still. Thank you SO MUCH for always reviewing and waiting. You're the one who motivates me with your all caps reviews. Also, your review about how you were really excited about me reviewing last time DEFINITELY touched my heart. You're fabulous. :)** **bahbuhbailey: I do hope you're not serious, because I would not like one of my reviewers to die. :) anyone, I hope this satisfies you. Thanks for reviewing!**

 **: You are a very determined person. Thanks for sticking with story! I'm glad you like it.**

Guest **Alice:**

 **CandycornPrincess1782: Oh my word, I am so sorry. I guess I wrote Chase starting to toddle and talk and all because it fit in the story and also because I somehow imagined him that way...? I totally realize he's too young (I've spent time with lots of babies), so oops. Hope you can forgive me!**

 **QueenCritic** and **AnnaR5: Your wish is my command.**

All **Guests: Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You're all great, and I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint.**

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 **I love you all SO MUCH because you're all so supporting and everything and I think I might cry just thinking about you all.**

 **~Very~**

* * *

 **Chapter Fourteen**

(A WEEK LATER)

"Um… America?" I turned to see the maid Anne looking at me, a note in her hand. She squinted at the paper. "Lady Valleree would like you in her room."

My eyes widened. "I… um, okay, thank you," I mumbled. The last week, after everything that had happened - the rebel attack, May, my… scene… with Maxon, and then running away, I had been a little depressed. I couldn't help but feel justified for it. After all, who wouldn't be sad and upset? I'd mostly gotten over the shock, so now I was just sad, but I tried to occupy myself with my work.

I don't think my friends appreciated that, though. With my moodiness, they had tried to help at first, but I had pushed them away. Now I was even more lonely.

The person I yearned for most was the person I could no longer have - Maxon. I knew he would understand. He'd just lost Kriss a few months ago, I've just lost May… we would be even closer than before. But I knew it wasn't worth it. I would get hurt, and he would get hurt, and I didn't want that. Even if sometimes it felt like getting my heartbroken would hurt less than being separated from him.

The first few days, I had expected Maxon to come after me. I knew he could at any time - he was the king. He could summon me, and I would literally _have_ to obey. And yet he didn't.

Chelsey, as she always did, knew what I worried about. And as usual, she calmed my worries - but made me feel worse in the process. She told me Maxon was hurt too, and that he didn't want to hurt me more, so he was listening to my signals and leaving me alone.

I knew I should feel relief in this, but I only felt a hollow emptiness.

Maybe that was why my friends were so hesitant of me now.

Blinking, I shook my head. I realized I had been staring at Anne, probably creepily. With a smile that most likely looked like a grimace, I nodded at Anne, then I rushed away, anxious to speak with Valleree.

As I walked down the hall, I realized I had no idea where in the palace Valleree's room was. I paused. Would she be near the Royal Chambers? Or closer to Lady Veronikka's room? I saw a handsome guard, with a bunch of medals adorning his suit, walking past. I stopped him tentatively.

"Um… excuse me, sir?" The handsome guard turned to look at me, his dark brown eyes twinkling. He was tall and lean, his eyes alert and bright. He reminded me of Aspen. "Would you happen to know where Lady Valleree's room is? I've been called to go there."

"Oh, yeah," he pointed down the hallway. "Go straight, then you turn left, and then two rights, then you go up a staircase…" he saw my confused expression and laughed. "Why don't I just take you there? It's kinda hard to explain." He chuckled slightly, but mostly smiled, and I nodded.

"That'd be great, thank you, sir, um…" I paused, and he filled in for me.

"Derrick." He started walking, and I followed him. "And you are?"

"America," I supplied, smiling for the first time in awhile. Derrick had the type of laid-back look that made you feel comfortable. He smiled back at me.

As he had said, the walk was quite complicated, but once we had arrived I recognized where we were. Valleree's room was down a long hallway from Lady Veronikka's, right above the kitchens.

After saying a final thanks and goodbye to Derrick, who only grinned and winked at me cheerfully before walking away, I knocked hesitantly on the door.

"Come in!" A voice called, and I walked in.

The room was pretty small for a Palace room, but it was pretty big - or at least bigger than my bedroom back home. I knew Valleree only stayed here when she felt like it, or when there were reports, since she had a large family mansion a few miles south of the Castle.

Her room looked nothing like a reporter's room; well, at least nothing like what I thought a reporter's room would look like. It was an explorer's room.

On one side, her bed was neatly made, piled with fluffy pillows, her bed's canopy was held up by dark wooden columns, and all surrounding her bed were old-timey suitcases, journals, and pictures of beautiful extoic places, photobombed by Valleree's bright face. The floor was a dark oak hardwood, and there were two bookshelves replacing nightstands aligned next to her bed. Her closet was tucked away neatly, and the walls were a gorgeous ivory. A large, old map hung up of the world was on the wall, and next to it was a large compass clock, which I thought was nerdy of Valleree to have. A lot of the room was blue-green, including the bed, resembling the ocean's color.

Her desk faced away from the window, so her back was facing her window - which was the widest, biggest, and the most grand I've ever saw - her desk was covered in aged papers, charts, and a pair of fancy binoculars. The windows were opened, which let a cool ocean breeze in, even though there was no ocean in sight for at least 10 miles. The wide window lit up the whole room, making it bright and comfortable.

Valleree's head was buried in papers, her pen scribbling rapidly on the paper. As she looked up, her slightly pale, tired face instantly lit up as she saw me, awkwardly waving to her.

"America!" She said, bolting up out of her chair.

"Hi Valleree… you wanted to see me?" I asked, looking over at the stack of papers.

"I just wanted to talk about something very important," she said, opening a box, shoving a few papers in it. I could tell she felt awkward. We hadn't had a very intimate conversation as friends since… well, before the rebel attack.

"And just what is that?" I asked, my voice quiet and a little accusatory.

Valleree rolled her eyes, scoffing a bit - it seemed she was done with my moodiness and wanted to cut straight to the point. "America, you can't keep doing this to yourself," she accused. "You're not living your life. You're depressed." She put up a hand when I tried to protest. "Don't you argue with me," she ordered sternly. Then her gaze softened. "I'm worried about you. We're all worried about you." She told me, referring to my friends at the Palace.

I swallowed, shaking my head. "I know I'm depressed. But I can't do anything about it." Valleree rolled her eyes. "I can't go back to how is was. Not only is it hard with my sister… gone… but working with Maxon…" I shook my head, my brow furrowing. "You know how I feel about him," I reminded her softly. "And it seems like he's avoiding me too."

"Well, if you weren't avoiding him, you'd know that Maxon is depressed too," Valleree snapped. "He misses you too. He just doesn't know what to do. He doesn't want to scare you. He doesn't want to hurt your relationship even more than it already is!"

"I don't want to hurt him," I argued. My exasperation and annoyance was growing. Why couldn't my friends get that there was nothing I could do? That there was nothing I wanted to do.

Valleree sighed. "You're hurting him more by staying away. America, you have to try to at least be friends with Maxon again." She pleaded. "Stop being afraid! We need to do something!"

At this, I broke. I shot out of my seat, angry and upset. "Afraid?! I'm not afraid, Valleree. I'm doing what's best for me and Maxon." I glared at her angrily when she tried to argue. I was sick of everyone pitying me. I thought my friends would understand what I was feeling. "Don't you get it?" I asked her desperately. "If I try to be friends with Maxon again, there's a possibility we'll become more than friends!"

"How is that bad?!" Valleree exclaimed as she too stood up.

"I can't hurt him." I told her determinedly. "If he has feelings for me, that's… that's…" I fumbled for the right words. "It can't happen. I can't do that to him. And I can't do it to myself." With that, I collapsed back into my chair with a sigh.

Valleree stared at me. "America," she chose the softer approach, talking to me soothingly. "You can't tell me you're happy. I can tell you're not. So let me help you. Please." She stared at me, wide-eyed. I sighed.

What else could I do? While I was stubborn, Valleree was pretty stubborn too. And honestly, I didn't feel like arguing anymore. I was tired. Of everything.

"What do you want to do?" I muttered. Valleree grinned in triumph. Quickly, I added with a warning look, "That doesn't mean I'll do it. But what do you plan?"

"We have to get you and Maxon talking together again." Valleree said excitedly, her anger completely gone. "He's depressed, lonely, and sad. Veronikka said he won't talk very much. She says he's always moody and sensitive." I felt a pang of sadness and longing. Was Maxon really that bad? Could I really cause that much pain?

"Anyway, we know why he's upset. He misses you." Valleree gave me a small smile. "And you miss him. We have to plan something big." Her eyes sparkled as she tapped a pencil to her chin, not looking at me. "A large event where you can somehow talk to him in private. Real private." She mused. "The goal is to get you to at least be friends. If all goes well, though…" Valleree hesitated, a small smile lingering on her lips.

I frowned. I liked the plan so far, even if I was hesitant to get close to Maxon again. But if what Valleree said about his present state was true… "What will happen if all goes well?" I accused.

"Well…" She smiled. "He'll fall in love with you! That is, if he's not already." My cheeks colored at the idea, and I shook my head.

"Don't push it." I paused. "I admit, I miss him. And you know I…" I gulped. "I certainly have an attraction to him." I said carefully. Clearing my throat, I continued, not looking Valleree straight in the eye. "So I agree to trying to become Maxon's friend again." Valleree clapped, beaming, and stood up.

"Wonderful!" She cheered. "We won't disappoint you!"

I cocked an eyebrow. "Who's 'we'?"

At that moment, almost as if summoned, the door opened to let Lady Veronikka in. She came in with a bright smile, closing the door behind with a kick of her foot.

"Hello Lady Veronikka," Valleree and I both greeted simultaneously.

Veronikka grinned widely as she rushed towards us. "Sorry I'm late," she said back graciously. Her arms were full of romance novels and papers covered with notes in her neat scrawl. "I had to get a few things," she gestured to her full arms. "You're lucky I'm here, America," she told me as she dumped her stuff on Valleree's desk. "Vall hates anything to do with romance, but she's a wonderful planner, and with all this," she gestured to all the love books and notes gleefully, a fond look in her eye, "we'll get you and Maxon together in no time!"

I frowned. "Sorry, Lady Veronikka, but the plan's changed."

She cocked her head at Valleree with a sigh. "I told you she would only want to be friends."

Valleree rolled her eyes. "I get it, Ver. You're always right." Veronikka sighed, a light smile on her face.

"Not all the time," she countered. "Nevertheless, we still have work to do."

I could feel uneasiness and nervousness growing in the pit of my stomach. "Are you sure we should do this?" I burst out. "I mean, Maxon may be sad now, but he'll get over it. Besides, he doesn't need me. He has you two." I paused, my brow furrowing. "And Lady Keahnna."

Veronikka looked at me accusingly, her eyes furrowed. "America, are you jealous of Lady Keahnna?"

I shrugged, swallowing. Now I felt in embarrassed. "Well, all three of you are so close to him. And you're all such impressive, inspiring women!"

Veronikka giggled. "Sweetie, you can't honestly think that we're interested in Maxon." She saw my doubtful look and blushed. "Maxon's a close friend. One of my closest. But… I have a boyfriend." She blushed darker. "And we're pretty serious."

I stared at her. How had I not known she had a boyfriend? I didn't doubt that she did, but Lady Veronikka was always so busy. I honestly didn't expect her to have time to be in a relationship. "Okay, we can talk about the fact that you didn't tell me you're in a relationship later," Veronikka blushed, biting her lip to hide a smile. "But really." I looked imploringly at Valleree. "You're all so impressive, and I'm just…" I furrowed my brow. "Me."

"Stop that!" Veronikka reprimanded me with a worried look. "Think like that, and it will become true. You know the saying a 'self-fulfilling prophecy.'"

I shrugged, but I knew she was right about the 'self-fulfilling prophecy' thing.

"I'm not even that close with Maxon," Valleree added in, bringing us back to the topic at present. "He's great and everything, but," she shrugged, "he's not my type."

"But I know who is!" Veronikka giggled, winking at Valleree in a way that hinted at something… or someone. Valleree swallowed, her cheeks turning slightly pink.

"What about Keahnna?" I asked worriedly. "She and Maxon are really close. They're together a lot, and she was his second choice at his Selection."

Valleree sat back in her large leather chair, and tapped her pen against her cheek in deep thought. Lady Veronika let out a frustrated sigh, rolling her eyes. "Even if Lady Keahnna does have feelings for Maxon, he only has eyes for you!" Lady Veronika said, her tone growing more aggressive by the minute. "Anyone can see that he cares for you. And he misses you." Veronikka sighed. "I don't think you understand how much he cares about you."

I frowned. "If he cares about me, why is he avoiding me?"

Valleree shot Veronikka a determined look, silencing her when the Lady tried to speak. "Maxon is hurt, America." She cocked an eyebrow at me. "He has feelings for you, but like you, he's sometimes thick-headed." She rolled her eyes at my glare. "Maxon is confused, and I think he may be a little upset with you because you ran away." I felt a spark of guilt for the millionth time in the past week. "He's always made the first step in the relationship, America," Valleree told me slightly accusingly. "You need to step up and do something to make things right."

While Valleree's words were harsh, I knew they were true. Maxon had always been kind and accepting to me. I ruined everything by running away after the kiss. I was a coward. I straightened in my seat. I had to prove myself to him. And also to myself. I needed to make things right. At least make him happy again.

"Okay." I told them softly. Valleree and Lady Veronikka frowned. They couldn't hear me. "I agree to the plan," I said determinedly. "I'll do whatever you want me to. As long as it doesn't hurt Maxon anymore," I added hastily as an afterthought. "I want him to be happy."

Veronikka beamed. "Fabulous!"

"So, um, what are we going to do?" I asked after a second of silence.

"I'm glad you asked," Veronikka told me with a twinkle in her eyes. "Let's see if you can guess what our plan is," Veronikka spread out her books and notes. "In the books I read, the couples usually get together during or after a big, life-dangering event, when they had realize their true feelings for each other." Veronikka smiled at me, but Valleree gagged from behind her. "But I don't want to have to put you and Maxon at risk, so I was thinking we should just get you where you can just talk to him. Apologize. It has to be private," Veronikka emphasized. "With a lot of people. A big event, preferably, where you won't be easily recognizable. So what do you think we should do?"

I stared at her. I honestly had no idea. How was I supposed to plan something I just learned about. "Um… a big event?"

Valleree sighed in exasperation at my cluelessness. "A masquerade ball."

I brightened. "Oh, cool."

"Cool?" Veronikka crowed, her eyes growing bigger with enthusiasm. "This ball won't just be cool. It's going to be spectacular!"

I smiled. "I'm glad you think so." The idea of the ball made me excited. Or perhaps I was just happy at the idea of actually talking to Maxon. I missed him, and I really hoped that we would be able to make up and go back to the way things were.

Veronikka looked to Valleree. "Vall, you have to do all the publicity. I'll get the decorations, Chelsey will make sure we have help from maids, butlers, and guards, and Keahnna will check the invitation list. She does know a lot of famous people, after all."

I frowned. "Um… what do I do?"

Veronikka beamed. "You need to sort out your priorities," she told me sternly in some kind of accent. With that, she giggled, but I just stared at her. "Sorry," she blushed and waved. "It's from a book - really famous a classic, but no one reads these days and..." She seemed to realize she was rambling and cleared her throat. "Anyway, all you have to do is sort out your emotions. Know what you're going to stay when you get the chance to say it. Mean what you say, and say what you mean" she added with a pointed look. Then she smiled. "I'll always be giving you lessons in the next few weeks."

"To learn what?" I asked, confused.

"How to be a lady."

I snorted. "Why do I need to do that?"

Veronikka rolled her eyes as Valleree picked up a paper and started jotting down notes for the party. "To get you prepared." she explained. "You'll have to fit in, America." I frowned. She added, "I'm not insulting you, sweetie, but I want you to knock Maxon off his feet. You'll dazzle him." She grinned. "You'll dazzle everyone." Her grin widened. "You'll seal the deal."

"What deal?"

"Maxon falling in love with you."

* * *

For the next few days, I was so busy I barely had any time to mourn May. While I missed her desperately, I was very busy with my job as a maid. And then, when I actually had free time, Valleree or Veronikka would call for me, wanting to discuss details for the party. A lot of the time, I didn't actually give input, I was just there to give support. And then, after dinner and my maidly duties, Veronikka would give me lessons on how to walk and talk and act. It was quite frustrating, really. I was relieved when she told me I was fine after just couple lessons. I was just worried if 'fine' was going to be good enough.

Mostly I was just worried for Valleree and Veronikka, who were even busier than I was. Valleree, besides her busy job as a Reporter, also had so many ideas for the ball. Veronikka, after staying up late planning every day, would then stay up later every night to read. Every morning, though, they looked as bright and excited as ever, eager to plan the ball. For my sakes. That made me forever indebt to them. Their enthusiasm wore off on me, and after a couple days I could hardly wait anymore…

[] FOUR DAYS LATER[]

* * *

Lady Veronikka looked scrutinizingly at me as I was measured for a dress.

"So how exactly is this ball going to work, again? Won't Maxon recognize me? That will just make him even more confused with me." I held my arms out to my sides as Mary-Kris, one of Veronikka's personal maids, measured my waist.

Veronikka sighed and rolled her eyes as she sketched and added something on her notepad. Not only was she giving me lessons, but she also volunteered to hand-make my dress. "America, we've been over this. You'll dance in your costume with Maxon, then convince him to talk to you outside, then you'll apologize and have a deep talk, and Maxon will fall in love with you and live happily ever after!" She clapped her hands, then paused.

"Well, really, he'll probably realize it's you, even if you have a mask on. But he won't argue dancing with you." She grinned. "You'll be gorgeous, I'll make sure of that." She nodded absentmindedly to herself.

Valleree walked in, sipping her coffee rather aggressively and ran over towards me, tripping over her own shoes every few steps. She smiled at what Lady Veronikka had hired some other maids to do with some makeup. I had specifically asked them to put it on lightly, so luckily the makeup wasn't too thick, but I still felt slightly uncomfortable. I had never really worn makeup that often.

"Veronikka, you've made her look so stunning!" Valleree said cheerfully.

"Thanks!" Veronikka chirped. "But just imagine what she'll look like when she actually wears the dress!"

"Yeah… If only Chelsey was here to see her," Valleree sighed, stealing another sip of what seemed to be tea, since the smell of coffee was nowhere similar to what she was drinking.

"What are you drinking?" I asked, peering over at her which forced me to shift myself in her direction. Lady Veronika tugged on my dress and looked at me to stay still.

"A mix of tea, and a bunch of sugar to keep me awake." She replied, not looking up from her own stack of papers that seemed to accompany her wherever she went.

"Tonight's report will be stunning, since I'm doing it." She said as she flipped her hair awkwardly behind her and fanned herself as if she was "all that". Lady Veronika choked on a laugh, and several other maids simply giggled to themselves. I smirked.

"Oh! Valleree, have you heard? Derrick's back. You know what that means." Lady Veronika hinted. She had let go of whatever was holding me down to the dress and perked her head up to wiggle her eyebrows at Derrick's name. Just who was he?

"Who's Derrick? -" I cut myself off. "Oh! You mean the attractive guard that always seems to-"

"That's him." Valleree snapped, crossing her arms angrily. I couldn't help but smile. Many of the guards were attractive. Valleree had just assumed the guard I was talking about was Derrick.

Veronikka smiled. "Valleree here doesn't like Sir Derrick because he always distracts her female trainees from their job. And then they have this cousin rivalry from back when they were kids that Valleree just won't tell me what," she said with an annoyed look.

"He's known as a lady's man, and yes, I suppose he's rather charming, but that huge ego could use some help." Valleree explained, setting aside some terribly written notes - handwriting wise.  
"He's not that bad, Vall." Lady Veronikka shot back, as she returned to playing and experimenting with the fabric on the maid's dress I was wearing. Every once in awhile, Veronikka would sketch something on a large notepad of hers, erasing and drawing the design for the dress I would wear.

"Ugh, you don't say…" Valleree bickered, sitting down. "I think you, me, Chelsey, and America are the only ones who don't fawn over him like he's the king of the world. Even Kriss had a soft spot for him when he would visit the palace…" Valleree awkwardly trailed off, feeling a tad melancholy at the sound of Kriss's name.

Veronikka cleared her throat. "That's an exaggeration." She smiled. "Plenty of people like Derrick, but the one who you really need to watch out for are those women falling over Maxon."

My head shot to her, my cheeks flushing. "Women throw themselves over Maxon."

Veronikka and Valleree sighed simultaneously.

"You should not have said that," Valleree told Veronikka as she sipped her drink.

I heard Veronikka mutter, "Don't I know it," before looking to me with a reassuring smile. "No need to worry, America. Maxon only has eyes for you."

I frowned. I couldn't help but be jealous, and I knew I should just stop talking and forget about it, but I couldn't help it. I was curious.

"That could change, though." I paused. "How many women, exactly?" I asked. "Are the women here in the Palace?" The thought of competition made me… competitive, I suppose, though that was rather silly. I shouldn't be jealous or worried. I should be concerned about the fact that Maxon and I aren't even talking. Not about the fact that there are other women attracted to him.

Valleree scrunched up her nose. "Just stop, America." She snapped. I nearly took a step back, but the maids arranging the dress fabric by my feet pulled me steady.

Valleree sighed. "You need to stop worrying, okay?" she stared at me. "Get your head in the game, I think is what they say…" She furrowed her brow, her eyes becoming unfocused, before shaking her head. "You need to focus on Maxon. That's who you want, right?" I nodded, my throat tightening. Stupid emotions. "Focus on him, and nobody else," Valleree commanded.

"Besides us," Veronikka piped us.

Valleree smiled. "Right. Besides us, who are there to help."

There was a pause as I smiled at my friends. I was filled again with awe of them. They were so dedicated to me, and to what I wanted. They were my best friends.

"This conversation just took a turn for some very depressing worries." Veronikka chimed. "Let's get back on track, shall we? We were talking about Derrick, right?"

Valleree groaned, slumping in her chair. "No more Derrick, please," she whined.

I laughed, the worry leaving for now. "Just a few more questions, just so I am… aware of what he is." I said carefully. "So… does he just date every girl in the palace? Has he dated both of you?" At this Veronikka wrinkled her nose, and Valleree went to the extreme by leaning over and making retching noises.

Veronikka shook her head. "Oh, no, we certainly haven't dated him. He and I are just really good friends, but Derrick and Valleree are cousins, so that's just plain disgusting," Veronikka wrinkled her nose.

Valleree didn't say anything, but I smirked when she shivered at the thought.

Veronikka continued, "And he used to be that type of guy who just dated everyone, dropping and picking up girls left and right. But then he kinda settled down and formed a steady relationship with another lady, Lady Jewel. That's when I became his friend."

Her last sentence was drowned out by a huge groan from Valleree. "UGH…" she moaned. "I hate Lady Jewel." Lady Veronikka opened her mouth, but Valleree shot her a look. "We all know she's horrible, Veronikka, don't deny it."

Veronikka pursed her lips. "Yes, she is rather obnoxious." I was slightly surprised at this confession, since I knew Lady Veronikka didn't really like saying bad things about people.

Valleree scoffed. "That's an understatement. She may look beautiful on the outside, but on the inside…" she gave a slight shudder. "She's snobby, rude, manipulative, and just plain evil." Valleree scowled.

"Well, Derrick likes her, so…" Veronikka shrugged, uncomfortable. Suddenly, as she adjusted my dress, her eyes brightened. She started sketching rapidly, her eyes widening bigger and bigger. She gasped, stopping her sketching. She looked up at Valleree and me, her eyes bright and her smile big. "I'm finished."

 _END OF CHAPTER FOURTEEN_

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 **Please Review! Whenever I get one I literally squeal out loud, wherever I am, so yeah. The more public humiliation the better! Just kidding, but please! I love your thoughts! Hopefully new chapter in the next week!**


	16. Look How the Stars Shine For You

**Hi,**

 **I highly doubt many of you will read this, but I just wanted to say sorry for the long wait. Also, to the reviewers:**

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 **And now, to the story!**

 **~VDM~**

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 _Summary of previous chapters:_

 _When America Singer was kissed by King Maxon Schreave in a safe room during a rebel attack, her world was turned upside down. Terrified and confused, America fled, abandoning Maxon. Now, both of them avoid each other, and yet America feels a strong pull to Maxon. In a desperate attempt to reunite as friends - and maybe eventually lovers - America and her friends plan a Masquerade Ball, the perfect setting for America to finally approach Maxon again. As the ball looms closer and the palace becomes chaotic with preparations, America must ask herself -_

 _Is it all worth it?_

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 **Chapter Fifteen**

 _[]NOVEMBER 17[]_

I had been slightly disappointed when Veronikka wouldn't let me see the dress, but she had told me firmly that I wouldn't see it until she and her maids actually made it. I was quite excited to see what it was, and although I was slightly nervous because I hadn't picked it out myself, I had faith in Lady Veronikka.

Lady Veronikka was one at setting up and preparing for such events, the masquerade ball, but Valleree had a large amount of time to plan this, so she had done a lot of the work with Veronikka, even though it was technically Veronikka's ball.

The morning before the ball that evening, Veronikka took me to see where the ball would take place. As I stepped into the Grand Ballroom, I was astonished.

The large dome had been opened, revealing it's glass covering, showing what would be a starry sky. Small, twinkling lights that illuminated the dome, and the large windows were draped with curtains that were hung low, and lights attached to the walls sparkled, reflecting off the white marble floor. The ceilings were as high as they could have been, which gave a historical character to the ballroom. There were columns holding up extravagant flower bouquets, splashing the classy ballroom with a spark of color.

What really caught my eye was the staircase, leading from the different chambers, split into two, both curving in two different directions, all leading to one place. The railing was a shimmering, classy gold, decorated with white and black flowers of all sorts, and the stairs were topped with a smooth dark granite above a white marble that differed from the ballroom floor slightly.

Hanging from the middle of this staircase from a fairy tale, was a large chandelier, which was to have held _5,000_ different diamond-like gems, one for each encrusted crystal that shone brightly.

On the ballroom floor, two lines of banquet tables, soon to be aligned with food, outline the perimeter of the dance floor. There were festive balloons (matching with the theme of the ball, of course) hanging near the doorway, with a fancy receptionist's desk to top it off.

I clasped a hand over my mouth, trying to take it all in. And for all I knew, living back in Carolina, I didn't even knew this existed.

"Chelsey will meet you guys here in a minute. And be sure to watch _The Report_ tonight. I'm promoting this wonderful event, so just turn on your TV. I'm sure you'll find it." Valleree shouted down from the doorway at the top of the stairs to me and Lady Veronika.

As she rushed off, I stepped onto the dance floor, suddenly feeling nervous about all this. What if there was another attack? What would we do?

 _I shouldn't be worrying about this!_ I reprimanded myself. Lady Veronikka, Valleree, and Chelsey had planned this all out for Maxon and I to fix our shattered relationship. I have to keep my focus on where it needs to be!

Frustrated with myself, I turned around quickly and saw Chesley hurry through the door.

She looked slightly flustered, but she was smiling all the same. "Hi America!" she greeted, then turned to Lady Veronikka.

"So I've assigned my best maids and butlers to work tonight," she told Veronikka and me with a grin. "And Sir Derrick told me that there will be a lot of security, so fingers crossed," she showed me both hands with fingers crossed, "nothing will go wrong tonight."

Veronikka smiled. "Everything will be perfect," she said confidently. "All of our dresses are ready," she told me, referring to her dress, Valleree's, Chelsey's, Keahna's and mine.

"So when are we going to get ready? Does it take long?" I asked them.

They smiled at my cluelessness. "It'd usually take quite a long time for us to get ready, but don't worry," Chelsey told me. "All you have to do is take a quick bath this afternoon and meet us in Veronikka's room at four. We'll have everything you'll need."

I frowned. "But that's three hours before it even starts!"

Veronikka grinned. "It will take us at least a couple hours to do everything, America. And I have to be there early, since I was the one planning it... with the help of Valleree, of course."

"Okay," I said, a little hesitantly. "So I don't bring anything at all?"

Both women shook their heads. "No," they said simultaneously.

I smiled. "Alright then. I'll see you there."

* * *

Later that afternoon, after taking a relaxing shower, I headed to Lady Veronikka's room. It was down the hall from Valleree's, a little bit closer to Maxon's office and a meeting room for his advisors.

As I walked through the castle, everything was busy. Maids rushed everywhere, cleaning everything, butlers scurried along, pushing trays of food, and guards milled around, overseeing everything. Different famous people from all over the country, and even some foreign princesses and ambassadors, would be arriving here later this evening. There was an excitement buzzing in the air, and I couldn't help but feel excited too.

Finally, I arrived at Veronikka's room. I knocked softly on the door, but no one answered. Hesitantly, I walked in.

The room was large and homey, and a less exotic than Valleree's. Since it was becoming darker, lots of lamps were on, which cast a warm, cozy glow around the room, complimenting her honey gold walls. Like Valleree's room, a large window took up the wall opposite the door, and since it was open, a cool night breeze drifted in. Outside, framed by thin turquoise curtains, I could see hundreds of twinkling stars, and the moon's light fell onto the a large fluffy white bed right under the wide window. Two round side tables stood on either side of her bed, and many picture frames stood assembled on shelves around the room, capturing pictures of Lady Veronikka when she was younger, many with two boys that looked like her- probably her younger brothers. A long desk stood along one wall, with many organized binders and cabinets to store her work.

But what caught my attention most of all was her bookshelf. It covered the wall opposite her desk, and it was filled by books of all different colors and sizes. I was shocked by how many there were, since very few books were found outside of the Palace. Since Veronikka was Maxon's advisor, I assumed she got special privileges to have so many. For a moment, I wanted to go over to the dark wooden mahogany shelves, pick out a book, and curl up in Veronikka's large cozy armchair, but then I realized why I was here.

"Lady Veronikka?" I called out, looking toward a door next to her desk that probably led to her bathroom and closet.

"America?" she popped her head out of the bathroom, smiling. "Come on in!" she motioned me to come over.

I walked into her large bathroom, where Chelsey, Valleree, and Keahna were all sitting and chatting. Three maids were attending to their hair and makeup, and Valleree and Chelsey looked a tad uncomfortable. I knew Valleree just didn't like 'makeovers,' and Chelsey was probably feeling bad because she was being pampered by a maid when she herself was a maid.

All three women looked up as I came in, and they smiled. Chelsey waved, Keahna smiled, and Valleree said a cheerful, "Hello!"

I smiled back. "Hello, girls!"

In the corner of my eye, draped on golden hangers, were the five majestic dresses for Valleree, Veronikka, Chelsey, Keahna, and me.

They were beautiful.

"Aren't they wonderful!" Veronikka said gleefully, smiling proudly. Her naturally pink lips were even darker than usual, and blush on her cheeks combined with her short brown hair made her look very pretty.

I nodded, speechless."Which one…" I cleared my throat. "Which one is mine?"

Lady Veronikka smiled slyly. "You're not going to find out until it's time to put them on," she told me. She hurried over to the dresses, struggling to pick them all up.

Valleree stood up suddenly, saying, "I'll help you!" It was clear she was getting rather tired of all this makeup attention.

She rushed over to Veronikka, picking up a couple of the dresses, and then looked at me. "Go ahead," she told me, referring to the maid who had been doing her hair and makeup. "I'm done for now." Despite her very light makeup, she looked quite pretty with her hair curled, but I could tell she was done. I watched as she and Veronikka left into her main room, then looked over to the maid who had been doing Valleree's makeover. It was Anne.

"Hi, America," she told me as I sat down. "Is there anything specific you want?"

I frowned. Did I? I wasn't really sure. I wanted to be pretty, sure, but all of those dresses were beautiful enough to make me stunning, anyway. I turned my head slightly, looking back at Anne. "Light makeup, please," I asked, "And my hair… just not too… big, y'know?"

She nodded, smiling slightly, and grabbed a brush. "Okay, so I'm gonna start with hair… I'll just make it a simple bun, with some hair twirled out… that alright?" I nodded, though I had no idea what she was talking about, and closed my eyes. As Keahna and Chelsey continued to chat, I just tried to relax. I was becoming slightly anxious for the party. What would Maxon think if I went to the party? Would he get angry? Upset? Confused? I honestly didn't know, which was weird because I seemed to always know what he would think, do, or say.

I jolted slightly. I had just admitted it. I started to sweat. I had just admitted that I could read Maxon like an open book. Did that mean I love him? No, I took a deep breath. I certainly have deep feelings for him, but it doesn't have to be love. I tried to tell myself. Not yet.

But what about those butterflies that explode in my stomach every time I think of him? A part of me asked, Or the sickening worry every time I think he may be in danger?

I sighed quietly, trying to clear my mind. Right now, I just had to worry about not smudging my makeup or tangling my hair from now until the party started, or tripping over the heels I saw in the corner of Veronikka's room. And I definitely had to remember not to stuff my face with all those treats I had seen butlers bringing to the ballroom. The last thing I wanted now was to have my face covered with crumbs when I talked to King Maxon.

"Chelsey, Keahna?" My eyes flashed open, and Anne gave a slight yelp. She had been touching up my makeup, having already finished my hair, and my sudden movement had probably startled her.

Lady Veronikka stuck her head into the bathroom. "America, you stay here while Anne finishes your makeup," she commanded. Motioning her hand for the other two women to come over, she said excitedly, "Let's get you dressed, now." With identical grins, Chelsey and Keahna headed over to Veronikka, and all three of them disappeared into Veronikka's room.

I heard a couple of giggles, a Valleree's stifled laughter, and a couple of shushes from Veronikka. I felt a knot of curiousness in my stomach, but I knew I had to wait.

After Anne finished my makeup, I couldn't hear anymore noises from Veronikka's room. Then Veronikka poked her head in the bathroom, grinning. I couldn't see her body, but I guessed that she had already put her dress on, along with the other girls.

A wave of nervousness washed over me as I stood up and walked over to her, but she smiled at me reassuringly. "You look beautiful," she whispered to me warmly. "But you have to close your eyes, okay? Trust us." I nodded, shutting my eyes.

"No peeking!" Veronikka said in a singsong voice, and I shut my eyes tighter. "We'll help you get into the dress, just leave your slip on, okay?" She started to lead me out of the bathroom door. "We'll put you behind a screen, you can change, and then we'll all see each other in our dresses…" I could hear the excitement her voice, and I smiled.

I heard Keahna giggle slightly as Veronikka pushed me through her room to what I assumed was a corner of her bedroom. My arm brushed something as she led me, and Veronikka yelped as something nearly fell. I heard her swoop down to stop it from falling. "Okay," Veronikka instructed. She shoved a very soft dress into my hands as I waved my hands around slightly, trying to figure out where I was. "Keep your eyes closed as much as possible, even though you're behind a privacy screen…"

I could hear her feet stepping away from me on the hardwood, my eyes still closed. "You can change, now," she informed me. "Tell us when you're coming out."

"...Okay," I said, slightly hesitant. As Veronikka started to chat with Chelsey, Keahna, and Valleree, I opened my eyes, finding myself face to face with a bamboo screen.

After a few attempts to fit into the dress, I made it. I did my best not to inspect it carefully, only looking where and how I was supposed to put it on. "I'm… uh, coming out," I called out to them, and the girls' excited chatter quieted. "Come on out then," I heard Valleree encourage me.

Coming out felt like a whole crowd was waiting for me, anticipating what I would show them. Of course, the crowd was just Keahnna, Valleree, Lady Veronikka, and Chelsey; but, it was still exciting.

Keahnna gasped happily as I stepped out from behind the screen, clamping a hand over her mouth. Lady Veronikka had a "mommy smile" on her face, beaming with pride and delight. Chelsey was looking me up and down, with her mouth hanging open and joyful tears in her eyes. And last but not least, Valleree gave me a satisfied face, two thumbs up, and a wink.

Then I noticed their dresses. They all looked stunning in gowns, each one a different color and reflecting their personality.

Valleree had a long black dress with a fitting bodice. The sleeves were long, but her shoulders were revealed. Her gown, embroidered with gold thread, looked regal and imposing, causing me to look at her first. Her dark brown hair was curled slightly, making her look mature and sophisticated. All four women held masks in their hands, following the theme of the masquerade ball. Valleree's was gold, and she held it loosely in her hand, slightly annoyed at the fact that she actually had to wear a dress.

Next was Keanna, standing straight and tall. Her caramel colored skin complimented her dress, an eye-catching dark red, nicely. She had no sleeves, not even small straps on her shoulders, but her dress was very fitting, trailing down to the floor delicately. Her hair was up in a complicated way, as I had seen before when her maid had fixed it for her, and her makeup was light. After all, Lady Keahna was already quite beautiful, she would already looked stunning without makeup. Her mask was red like her dress, with rubies sparkling along the edges.

Lady Veronikka looked as pristine as ever, a light smile on her face, as she stood on her dark blue dress which lightly reached the floor. It was decorated with patterns of pretty pearls, forming the shape of flowers. Her gown wasn't very poofy, but it wasn't tight fitting either, so it looked comfy and easy to walk in. Her short brown hair was down, slightly curled in, and light makeup didn't cover up her splash of freckles across her nose. Small, bright pearls were used as her earrings, and her mask looked to only cover her eyes.

Last but not least, a sweet Chelsey beamed happily at me. Her dress was a mellow pink, and her sleeves reached halfway down her arm. Her gown was light and airy, swishing along her ankles. Her long, straight hair was draped simply down her back, held away from her face by a delicate pink flower. A simple diamond necklace sparkled at her throat.

"Turn around, silly." Valleree chimed, and I remembered suddenly that I had a dress too.

At her command, I jerked around to see myself in the mirror.

Oh my goodness.

I was so… I couldn't find the right word. Pretty? Gorgeous? Not to sound too full of myself, but I was even more than beautiful! For the first time, I was happy with how I looked. I was stunning… a healthy glow surrounded me, my cheeks were blushed and excited pink, and my lips were pulled into a gracious smile… I looked… otherworldly… almost goddess-like. I looked at myself, up and down, examining everything I could possibly take in at the time. Glancing over at my friends, they all were so different, but at this moment, they all had one thing in common.

They were there for me.

The seaming was flawless, and the design was absolutely stunning. The bodice was embroidered with gorgeous white rhinestones, with a pattern of carefully sewn on flowers, starting from the bottom of the bodice, making its way up to the top. The lower skirt was an elegant lavender, with different corresponding layers, all meshing into one.

I bit my lip, hold in a delighted squeal, but it was too much. I rushed over to them, clutching my hands.

"I love you guys so much! I love you, I love you, I love you!" I cried. They laughed with me, joining in a group hug, and then we put on our masks and headed out of Veronikka's bedroom towards the ballroom.

As we chattered on our way to the dance, an air of anticipation and excitement arose, and I realized something shocking. If I had to do anything in the world for these wonderful women, who had become some of my best friends, I would give up anything.

Anything at all.

 _END OF CHAPTER FIFTEEN_

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 **ALL Reviews are much appreciated!**


	17. Fated to Love You

**Chapter Sixteen**

Tonight was the night.

The Grand Ballroom was flooded with guests. Royals, ambassadors, celebrities, reporters (of course), and it was like a fairy tale come true.

The once empty ballroom was now filled with people, chattering away with one another, eating at the buffet, and dancing to the music provided by the wonderful orchestra. Everyone looked stunning, but I thought my girls looked even better.

The dome was now opened, with the clear glass covering letting in a spectacular view of the starry night sky, and the aroma of the flowers whisked throughout the ballroom, adding the well-needed color to the hall.

It should have been joyous, exciting, or even soothing. I, however, couldn't manage to keep still. I found myself either pursing my lips or biting them. My hands were either tapping my thigh rhythmically or trying to swipe the sweat from my brow. I felt both cold and hot at the same time.

I was terrified and exhilarated at the same time.

It was even worse that I couldn't talk to anyone about my stress. I felt confined, and trapped, and it didn't help that all my friends were busy. Lady Veronikka was busy greeting guests, Chelsey was laughing with the Italian guests, Lady Keahnna was talking to her "Selection Girls" and Valleree was all over the place, as a reporter and well-esteemed guest.

Everyone's face was hidden behind a mask, but I was sure I would be able to recognize Maxon.

 _Maybe this just isn't meant to be_ , a part of me worried. I could feel myself beginning to panic, and I clenched my fists. _This all too much. What if something goes wrong?_

I had no more time to dwell on anything, however, or even consider running away, because all of a sudden the crowd hushed. The music suddenly stopped, and a spotlight was focused at the top of the staircase. My heart nearly stopped beating. It was _him._

King Maxon looked absolutely dashing in his well-pressed suit, his honey blonde hair clean and orderly. His brow eyes were bright, and his perfect smile wide. Even his outfit was perfect - a sleek black suit with a red tie - was perfect; and I had never even cared about clothing! No wonder everybody swooned over him before… I had once considered it disgusting and inappropriate, but seeing him tonight… a funny feeling had crept into my stomach.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," Maxon smiled graciously at everyone. I ached for him to turn that smile to me, to look at me again. I wanted him to catch my eye, to notice me specifically, but at the same time, I didn't. For the first time in a while, I was timid, almost shy, and I didn't like it. Maxon continued, "I want to present you with our lovely Masquerade Ball, and I do hope you're having a great time," He started off, clapping his hands together. "Now, please pay attention to the screen, for we have a special broadcast." Maxon hurried off to the side, and made himself discreet as the lights dimmed and the screen flashed on.

It was Valleree! She looked so professional up there, in her black dress and her hair and makeup done to accustom the dress. I smiled brightly, excited for her broadcast.

"Good evening, Illea!" She said brightly, smiling. "I'm reporter Valleree Fadaye, coming to you live from the Palace in Angeles. As you know, our _smashing_ Royal Family hosts this wonderful masquerade ball annually, but this year is different!" Valleree announced enthusiastically. Her eyes glanced down at her lap, scanning her piece of paper, and immediately brightened after she looked up. "King Maxon has invited suitors coming in from _all_ over the world, and rumor is, he may be looking for a very special someone," she winked obviously, and the crowd laughed slightly, amused at Valleree's antics. "Tonight at this very Ball, Maxon may find our future Queen, Illea! We hope our own King Maxon luck as he looks for a wonderful lady. We're sure we'll love her just as much as you." Valleree cleared her throat. "Now, for the open public, there will be an open banquet held outside of the Palace grounds, in the square. Please, feel free to come, and if you're local, we _highly_ encourage you to do so! But hurry before it gets too crowded!" She said, ending her report with a warm smile and a quirky wave as the screen faded away into black. There was a round of loud clapping and cheering as the lights came back on, and Valleree came out of a room, and quickly hurried down the stairs to Chelsey.

My eyes followed her down those stairs as I watched her whisper something to Chelsey, and quickly go off into another direction, this time, towards King Maxon. They both nodded at a few words she said, and just like that, Valleree was off into the crowd again.

The chatter of excitement was back into action as King Maxon descended the stairs, and blended into the crowd.

The music began again, and I found myself alone. The music floated around the room beautifully. For a few minutes, I swayed along with those on the dance floor, but slightly off to the side. I didn't want to risk getting too caught up in everything, and missing my chance with Maxon. After all, this might be the last chance I had.

"America!" I turned to see Chelsey, recognizable by her dress, grinning hugely at me, dancing. Her eyes were shining under her mask, and her hair was a little rumpled from dancing, but she looked really excited to see me.

"Have you seen Maxon yet?" she asked as a different song, this time a little slower, came on. I took my mask off so we could talk, but my mask only covered the top part of my face anyway, so I would've been able to talk even without it on.

I shook my head as she came closer, slightly worried. It had already been an hour, and I hadn't seen or spoken to Maxon at all the entire time. I knew he was busy, and I had still enjoyed talking to my friends and meeting new people, but I was slightly worried. If I didn't talk to him soon, the whole plan to get us together wouldn't even commence, much less actually work.

Chelsey shrugged. "Yeah, I only saw him once."

I frowned. "Do you think I'll ever get to talk to him?"

Chelsey rolled her eyes playfully. "America, you look stunning and gorgeous!" She stared in wonder for a second. "But put your mask on, okay? He'll eventually realize it's you, but…" A mischievous look lit Chelsey's face. "I want to see how he reacts when it happens."

I nodded, adjusting my mask, and Chelsey waved a quick goodbye, seeing someone she knew.

For a second I just stood, gently swaying to the soft music. Many couples were now slow-dancing on the dance floor, and I slightly yearned to be there with them, preferably in the arms of Aspen… wait, no, Maxon. I meant Maxon, I corrected myself.

I panicked at my mistake, even though I had only thought about it. I was supposed to be attracted by Maxon… but I still loved and missed Aspen. The last few days I had been so focused on the ball and Maxon that Aspen hadn't really crossed my mind. The thought made me feel slightly guilty, imagining what he would think. How could I be falling in love again so quickly? I asked myself, shocked and slightly ashamed.

And why? Part of myself added, my heart starting to fill with doubt as the music picked up and couples twirled and spun around the dance floor. Dresses and ballgowns brushed and twirled, light smiles were shown, and everyone stepped joyfully and delicately as they danced, but I was starting to feel sick. Now that I had thought of it, Maxon and Aspen were not very alike at all. While Maxon was careful and cautious, Aspen was wild and daring. When Aspen was passionate and bold, Maxon was polite and courteous. Although Maxon was sweet, caring, kind, and funny, just thinking about Aspen started making me feel passionate again… I felt in love again.

Sighing, I closed my eyes. Should I even be here anymore? Dancing with Maxon had lost much of its appeal, and I was really reconsidering if I wanted to be try to get together with him in the first place. I cared for him, of course, but maybe my friends had been the ones to wrap me up into this.

My eyes searched through the crowds, spotting Keahna and Chelsey dancing with guards, and Valleree and Veronikka smiling and talking near a refreshments table.

Valleree waved to Veronikka as she meshed into the crowd, cracking somewhat corny jokes to a guard and then refusing to link arms when he offered to because she looked embarrassed. Veronikka giggled and came over to hug a somewhat tall man, smiling and laughing. Was the only reason I had agreed to their idea was because I was desperate for love again? How could I know what I wanted when I cared so much of everyone else? Was Maxon really my next love, or just a small attraction, based purely on my memories and longing for Aspen?

I turned around quickly, wanting to get some fresh air, and crashed straight into a tall body. I stumbled, but a strong hand grabbed my shoulder, stopping me from falling. "Oh, I'm so very sorry, Miss. Are you okay?" a man's concerned voice asked me, sounding surprised.

"Er, yes." I straightened myself, shaking off his hand, slightly embarrassed and likewise surprised. As I brushed off my dress, the man grabbed my wrist gently, causing me to look up to see familiar eyes.

"Are you sure you're okay?" The masked man questioned again.

I nodded, slightly surprised. The guard, I had recognized by his uniform, seemed slightly familiar. I couldn't speak, and the man smiled kindly.

"Sorry for bumping into you," he told me, reaching up to unmask himself. "It's gotten rather crowded, hasn't it?" Anticipating his unmasking, I just nodded.

Familiar hazel eyes peered back at me, twinkling. "I'm Sir Derrick," he said smirking. "Do I know you? You look sorta familiar." I recognized him now, but having met him now for a second time after learning about him from Valleree and Veronikka, I felt a sort of… distrust to him. Of course, I didn't hold anything against him, as long as he didn't do anything to me, but I was going to be careful. Now, though, Derrick only grinned kindly at me.

"I'm, um, America." I lifted my mask a little bit so he could see my face, and then adjusted it back on. "The maid," I added for good measure. "We met a couple weeks ago… do you remember?"

"Oh, yeah," he smiled at me. I was surprised he didn't think it was odd that I was a maid and still here at the masquerade ball, as dressed up as anyone else. "You didn't know where Valleree's room was, right?"

I nodded. A new song came on, still a slow one, but slightly faster than before, and Derrick offered me his hand. "Would you like to dance?" He asked.

I hesitated as I looked around the room. No Maxon in sight, and Derrick was both friendly and attractive… one little dance couldn't hurt, right? I looked back at Derrick, slightly uncertain still, but his hazel eyes only twinkled clearly as he smiled, his hand still outstretched. "Er… sure, I suppose," I nodded again, and waited until he had put on his mask before taking his hand. He led me to the dance floor, where he put one hand on my waist and kept hold of my hand with his other. I placed my free hand on his shoulder, mimicking the pose I had seen the other dancers in. As we fell in step with the music, I tried to relax, smiling back at the friendly guard.

As I looked around the room, since Derrick didn't make any move to talk, my eye caught Valleree's. She was standing in the corner, sipping a cup of punch with the same guard she was telling jokes to, and her eyes widened. "America?" she mouthed, and I smiled slightly at her. As Derrick spun me, I lost eye contact with her, but I soon found her again. She stared at me, her eyes glancing to his arms I was in. "Where's Maxon?" She mouthed. I made a face, showing that I didn't know.

I was pulled away from the mental conversation by Derrick. "So, have you been here a long?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Not even a year, yet." Derrick nodded.

"So that's why I didn't recognize you…" I could still hear his voice, even if it was slightly muffled from the mask. He smiled. "I've been gone for more than a year. On duty," he added. He looked like he was about to say something else, but his eyes caught something behind me. Derrick shut his mouth and bowed his head, letting go of my hands. I felt confused. Was he bowing to me? Or someone else? I felt a tap on my shoulder, and turned, finding myself face to face with the dashing King Maxon.

My blue eyes widened, and I could feel my cheeks becoming red as his brown eyes stared into mine. Kind Maxon was wearing a mask, but it only covered the area around his eyes. I recognized the slope of his nose, his bright brown eyes, and the light pink of his lips. He glanced to Derrick, who had straightened up.

"Excuse me, Sir Derrick, but could I please take this young lady for a dance?" Mason's voice was smooth and polite. Derrick nodded,of course - Maxon was the king, after all - and gave me an encouraging (and confused) smile as he walked away. I was now alone with Maxon, and I felt the most self-conscious I had this entire evening.

He offered me his hand, and we mirrored the pose of the other couples as a slow dance continued. My heart felt like it would burst if he did anything else to make contact with me. My head felt hot, as if it was burning on the surface of the sun.

As another song gently started to play, Maxon led me in the dance. It was sweet, but sad, and it reflected everything I was feeling at that moment.

Maxon said nothing. I wanted to say something, but for some reason, I kept my mouth shut. I felt like he needed to say something first. Not because he was the one at fault, but maybe... well, he didn't look very happy. I was terrified to mess this up. So I stared straight ahead, which, even though I was averagely tall for a woman, meant that I was staring at Maxon's collarbone. Finally, Maxon cleared his throat and adjusted his posture to look down slightly at me. I raised my head to meet his eyes.

"The decorations are lovely, don't you agree?" Was all he said.

I nodded numbly, my excitement fading. What had that meant? Was he really trying to make small talk? Didn't he recognize me already? I stared straight into his eyes, trying to read them. But it was so hard. There was something between us. And not an attraction, though there was that too. He was putting up a guard. He had built up a wall, and now I had to break it down.

I nearly started crying when I saw the sadness he was hiding. He stared back at me, but neither of us said anything.

Was I the reason he was so sad?

I couldn't speak. "The orchestra is quite nice too," I suddenly said bluntly, then cursed myself for it. Good job, America. Smooth line.

Maxon smiled politely. "The violins are especially pretty sounding today. Of course, I've heard even better, but the music is exceptional anyway." He said.

I froze, faltering in the dance, and looked up at him. Okay, that was definitely a hint at something. He knew I played violin, and if the 'even better' he was talking about was me, that was a compliment.

I swallowed thickly. _I need to say something,_ I thought quickly. But I couldn't. I could feel the gowns pressing and swishing against my feet, and even though the lights were dimmed, it still felt so bright and clear. Pressed up against Maxon, I found myself breathless and unable to really do anything.

I almost felt like running. My heart was beating fast, and my stomach was replaced with butterflies. I couldn't handle it anymore. This one moment could determine the rest of my life - or at least, my relationship with Maxon, and right now that felt like the same thing.

 _Should I run? Should I ask to leave?_ A desperate part of me was panicking, and I fought hard to keep my cool. No, that would be like a Cinderella scene, and I didn't want that. I didn't need that, for one.

I looked at Maxon again, and his presence, his _realness,_ calmed me. This was what I had been missing after the kiss. This is what I was fighting for. And even if I would never be able to kiss him again, or love him, I always wanted to be with him.

I was not giving up.

As the music sped slightly, and the couples moved quicker, Maxon leaned in closely towards me. He tightened his grip on my hand and lowered his hand from my back to my hip, pulling me closer to his body.

 _This is my chance,_ I thought to myself. I needed to act now. Before Maxon gets scared and leaves. Or before I get scared and leave.

"Your Majesty? Would you care to join me outside for a moment? It's getting rather stuffy." On our sides, couples twirled and pressed against us. Skirts whirled at my feet, but I only stared at Maxon.

He stared at me for a second, biting his lip in hesitation. I didn't know if he was going to decline, or accept. I could see the longing and wanting in his eyes, but it was mingled with sadness and hesitance. Would he leave me? He must know what I planned to talk about. I held my breath.

"Of course, my lady."

With these quiet words, I could finally relax. At least for now. In my nervous state, I reminded myself to breathe. I also thought of what I had planned before. Maxon offered me his arm and I took it, staying by his side. We carefully picked our way through the crowd. It was lucky everyone was in masks, and that we were too, because I was positive that if people noticed Maxon taking a lady outside, there would be quite the uproar.

Maxon led us out to the terrace, tucked away conveniently. As he opened the glass doors, a cool Angeles breeze blew past me, gently ruffling my dress and hair. Maxon leaned on the railing that overlooked the beautiful city of Angeles. Picking up my dress, I came over to where he was standing.

I felt like this mask was a wall between us. It was the only thing that protected me from the gaze of Maxon, but the only thing that kept me away from him.

"Isn't it beautiful? The city? The sky?" He asked carefully, his chin rested upon his hand against the railing, as he stared dreamily out to the night sky.

"It really is," I replied breathlessly. I couldn't help but take it all in.

"America." His soft voice brought me out of my thoughts. I froze at the sound of my voice and his lips. Oh, how long it had been since I'd hear that. "Why did you bring me out here?" I could hear the pain, hurt, and confusion masked by a cool, indifferent voice.

I swallowed as I took off my mask. I suspected he knew it was me. I couldn't cry. I wouldn't let my emotions control me. "I need to say I'm sorry." I rested my hand on his, but he gently pulled away, still hesitant. My heart broke from that small action. "I'm sorry I ran away. I'm sorry I avoided you. I'm sorry for confusing you." My voice rose higher and higher with each word, becoming desperate to the point of breaking. "Please, I want everything to go back to before." My lip quivered. "I want you back Maxon. I want to be friends again."

Maxon looked at me. I thought he would be happy, but I only saw anger. I stepped back, swallowing. How had I upset him?

He shook his head. "And you just assume I want what you want?" His harsh words shocked me so much I take a step back. Maxon sighed, his shoulders slumping - he was not angry anymore, just tired. Not too dissimilar to me. "I can't do that. I can't go back to the way things were." He said as he looked away.

I gaped at him. "Please, Maxon." He swallowed. "Please, I…" I swallowed. Was I really about to say this? What would he think? I was taking such a risk. "I… "

His head shot up. "See, you can't even say it." He shook his head. I stared at him. He glared back, angry.

"I love you." I spat out quickly. "I do." Did he think I was lying? Was I lying?

He shook his head at me again, exasperated and upset. "You can't even say it without me saying you _can't_. Besides, if you loved me, you would've stayed. You wouldn't've avoided me." My anger faded, replaced by guilt. I could feel my eyes starting to tear up.

"I said I was sorry," I mumbled, numb with shock and surprise. Was he really rejecting me? My breaths were coming out in rapid, short spurts.

Maxon looked up in disbelief. "I don't know if I can forgive you, America." These few words broke my heart. I almost broke in, interrupting him, but he continued, his brow furrowed and fist clenched on the railing. "I'd started having feelings for you ever since trip to the Beach." He admitted. My heart was so full with pain and confusion, and now rejection. But now he was saying he had feelings for me?

"But every time I wanted to tell you, for every time I wanted to hold you close, for every time I wanted to see you smile…" His eyes were narrowed with pain. I noticed his knuckles white as he clutched the railing. "I couldn't bring it to myself to do any of those things. I couldn't bring it to myself to admit it, but I wanted nothing else but for you to be by my side - always." He shook his head and looked up from the ground and took my hands, holding them tightly. "How could you run, America? The one time I round up the courage to do something, and you leave me in the dust." Maxon's voice broke.

My lip started to tremble. My eyes became blurry and filled with tears. I couldn't stop myself as a tear streamed down my cheek, and following after that drop came many others.

"America Singer, I don't know how you did it, but you broke down my walls. You stole my heart." Maxon choked on his words. He was crying. I brought my hand up to his face, and softly wiped his tear. He pulled away from me, his eyes filling with hurt again. But I could see the longing.

"You stole my heart." Maxon said quietly. I was left speechless. "You might not know this, but my heart is yours to break, it's yours to break a thousand times." Maxon confessed quietly, with a soft tone in his voice. "But I don't want to hurt anymore, America," he said, his voice turning aggressive. "I can't let you hurt me anymore. How many more times will you get scared and run?" He asked me accusingly. I started crying harder under his gaze. "How many more times will I let you break my heart, and yet I continue to love you?" He ran a hand through his hair angrily. "America Singer, I'll never give up on you. I'll never let go. You could break my heart hundreds of times, _thousands_ , and I…" His voice caught, and he looked down, almost embarrassed. "I would still love you." Maxon's eyes changed somehow, and I couldn't read his expression. "I don't think I'll ever stop loving you, but..." His voice turned hard. "You have to prove yourself America. Please." He placed his cool hand on my tear-streaked cheek.

I nodded, my eyes glistening with tears. I couldn't believe he felt that way about me. Did he really… love me? Was I really that important to him? I knew we were close but… wow. I was nearly speechless.

I wanted to reassure him that I loved him to, but I couldn't. I wasn't ready for that commitment. I was a coward. But I wasn't going to run away. Not again. I wanted to tell the truth and explain myself.

"I certainly have feelings for you, Maxon." I put my hand over his as I choked on my words. "But I can't say I'm in love with you yet." His smile faded, replaced with hurt. Quickly, I corrected myself. "I know I said I love you earlier, but give me time. Forgive me, and I'll prove myself. Please, forgive me," I begged. "I know for certain that I'm falling in love with you. And it scares me."

There was a pause. I didn't know what to say. After a minute, I spoke.

"Maxon? Say something. Please."

He chuckled lightly, almost bitterly, as he pulled his hand away from my cheek. I stared at him, waiting in anticipation. He looked into my eyes. "Oh, America. Didn't I tell you I'm falling in love with you?" I blushed as his simple, yet meaningful words. "You're already forgiven, my dear, whether you like it or not."

I beamed, tears still streaming down my face. It was absolutely amazing how quickly our emotions and swayed and changed. I cupped his face in my pale hands, leaning closer. "I love it," I told him breathlessly. He stared into my eyes, a mixture of hopefulness and hesitance. I needed to get rid of that hesitance. I had to prove I was falling for him. Hard.

I brought his lips to mine.

As soon as our lips touched, I felt relief wash over me, along with myself buzzing with electricity. I don't know how I had survived the past few weeks, knowing I could have this.

And then, without I doubt, I knew it. As we stood there in the late evening, kissing in the moonlight, there was no doubt. It was just us, Maxon and America. And my heart spoke, loud and clear, as I kissed him with all my being.

I love Maxon Schreave.

END OF CHAPTER SIXTEEN

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 **OKAY I AM SO SORRY I KNOW YOU ALL HATE ME OKAY OKAY OKAY.**

 **Anyway this is Chapter Sixteen and I'm hoping that if I put the A/N at the bottom it increases the chances of you reading it? I honestly don't know anymore.**

 **Anyway, I just... I really am sorry for not updating. I actually had the chapter ready, but if I'm being completely honest I was just lazy and even though I love all my readers it didn't help that I'm kind of at a writer's block? Like, I have the next chapters planned, but I can't really decide how I want to end the story. I'm scared that if I update too fast I'll be left in a huge pit of writer's block with literally nothing to write about and it's stressing me out. The story has already been kinda intense, as you know, but I still want a big finale and I'm just not sure how to do that? Ugh, now I'm ranting, sorry.**

 **Thanks to all the reviewers and anyone who PMed me. It is really appreciated and you really are the reason I update. Even when I'm lazy, those reviews are like little notifications telling me to UPDATE PLS and I LOVE THIS SO MUCH UPDATE SOON and stuff. (DID YOU NOTICE I GOT OVER 100 REVIEWS LIKE WHAT?! you guys are seriously amazing.)**

 _ **Specifically to** Guest Emoji **: First of all, you are SO WELCOME for mentioning you. It was my pleasure. Also, your two suggestions will probably both be put in the story. A make-out scene will make me blush the entire time I write it, but it's fine. However, it may not be for awhile? I'm not really sure right now. Also, I'm totally up for mentioning New Zealand. Is it okay if I just put like an ambassador from New Zealand that American meets? I don't know how much you want me to include New Zealand...?**_

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 **If you have an idea for how this fan fiction should end, or if you want it to end a specific way, review or PM me. Also, any thoughts on this chapter, what you think will happen next, and how you're hoping it will go are always really interesting.**

 **Also, I recently saw this thing on a favorite story of mine - the author asked a question at the end of each chapter, and the readers responded in the reviews. I really liked the idea because I think it will bring me closer to my readers and help me understand you all better. Also, it's nice to know you're not alone in your opinion on books. ;) So I put a question a few lines below and if you want please answer it! (Also, tell me if you want me to answer my own question in the next chapter A/N. I could go talking on for hours, but eh. I don't want to bore you.)**

 **Again, THANK YOU SO MUCH. If you read all of what I just said, thanks especially.**

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 **Question (that's technically like three in one, I'm sorry XD) :**

 **At the beginning of the Selection series, before America met Maxon, was there any time you liked Aspen? Were you ever on Team Aspen, even after meeting Maxon? And now that both Aspen and America have gone their separate ways (in the original series), do you like Aspen as a person (but not as America's boyfriend, of course)?**


	18. Inconvenient Love

**Disclaimer (since I haven't done one in awhile): Characters, world, and any familiar lines/scenes belong to Kiera Cass. I only own the plot.**

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 _Previously on Break My Heart a Thousand Times:_

 _After America ran from Maxon after their kiss in the safe room, it had seemed like their relationship could never be fixed. Fortunately, America's friends at the Palace have come up with the perfect plan! She and Maxon would get together at the ball. But then, Maxon resists America! He admits that he loves her, but she could not do the same. Is everything lost between them? Or can America prove herself for Maxon, to reach their happily ever after?_

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 **Chapter Seventeen**

After a few seconds of my lips on Maxon's, he tugged me closer. I was pinned against him, his hands around my back and up in my hair, but arms tightly wound around his neck and playing with the small tendril of hair on the back of his neck.

I smiled into the kiss, our tears mingling together in the moonlight. This was what I had worked for the past few weeks. This was worth everything I had done, and more.

This was happiness. And I was never letting go.

"Your Majesty!"

The call from a guard made Maxon and I leap apart, as if burned by a sudden flame, and we both turned to the doorway leading back to the palace. It was the same doorway that had led us out here. A distraught looking guard hurried over to us at us, waving a piece of parchment. I quickly tugged on my mask, not wanting to be recognized.

 _Well, shoot._ I cursed in my head. _We just have the worst luck in the world, huh?_ I sighed. Of course as we had just started kissing when the guard showed up. Of course we had no time to discuss _anything_. And there was oh-so-much to talk about.

My breathing was shallow and quick as I patted my hair down and fixed my dress. I was still too excited from the kiss. Maxon, too, had glossy eyes and slightly messed up hair, but I hope the guard didn't notice.

I glared at the guard as he rushed towards us, biting on my lip and praying that my light makeup wasn't too smeared. _Why did we always have to be interrupted?_ I gritted my teeth, even though I was still blushing.

"Your Majesty!" The guard repeated again, walking towards us. He handed Maxon the scroll, glancing to me with distrust. "You are needed immediately, my king," the guard addressed Maxon in a low voice. "We have certain…" his eyes flicked to me, but there wasn't any shock, only hesitance, so I was relieved when I realized that he didn't know we had been kissing. My cheeks started to heat up, thinking about kissing Maxon, as the guard continued, "...matters to discuss."

Maxon paled, nodding. "Can it wait? I was… talking to this lovely lady, here." I nearly laughed at the uncomfortable expression on Maxon's face.

The guard, suddenly anxious in having to refuse his king, shook his head. "I'm extremely sorry, Your Majesty, but you're needed right away."

Maxon nodded, sighing. His shoulders slumped as he turned to look at me, but he tried to put on a brave smile as he looked at me. "I'll be back. I promise. We have a lot to discuss." He lowered his voice to a whisper so only I could hear, "and you still need to prove yourself." He reminded. The thought scared me for a moment, but I was too happy to care. As I beamed at him, Maxon grabbed my hand from the rail and gently pressed a sweet kiss on it. My heart swelled. This was the first promise of a bright future, I hoped. I couldn't wait for him to get back.

I blushed, looking to the guard in embarrassment, but the guard was wisely avoiding his eyes, already inching back towards the door. I then realized that with my mask on, I looked like a typical Two, like Veronikka had planned. Even if this guard gossiped about us and I ended up on the front page of a magazine, no one would be able to tell it was me, except perhaps my friends.

The guard looked like he wanted to say something important. Instead, he just bowed his head and said, "I'll give you two a moment, Your Majesty." He paused. "But please, hurry. It's urgent."

Maxon nodded his head and the guard walked away, disappearing at the door. I knew he was right behind the door, just inside, but now it was like I finally was alone with Maxon.

There was a moment of silence. Neither of us said anything. I think we were both afraid to.

Finally, he grabbed my hands in his again. "I will be back. One last dance, right?" I nodded, even though the thought of spending the rest of the ball without him was extremely disappointing. I forced a smile as he kissed me on the forehead.

His lips hovered there for a second. I could feel his warm breath. All of sudden, as he glanced toward the door to make sure no one was looking, he swooped lower and met my lips with his again. I sucked in a breath in surprise. Unlike the kiss just a minute ago, this had none of the hesitance, or sadness. This was all pure passion, and lust.

Maxon pushed me up against the railing. My head felt dizzy. I clutched the front of his shirt in my hands. If it was possible, he pulled me even closer to him. I could barely breathe.

He ran his hand through my hair slowly, and even though I had no idea how I would make my hairdo look presentable for later, I didn't really care. In fact, I loved it. I hadn't felt this loved, or wanted, in a very long time.

His hands slid up and down my waist, as if unsure where to put them. Finally, one rested lightly on my waist, while the other slid up into my hair smoothly. I sighed into the kiss. This was all worth it - everything I had done, everything I would do, would be worth it. My friends had been right. If I could have him, everything would be worth it.

But all of sudden, I remembered Aspen. Aspen, my first love. He had been my first everything - first real best friend, first kiss, first boy friend...

I froze a little, not really kissing Maxon back, but he didn't notice. I didn't pull away, but I felt guilty. What was I doing? I loved Aspen - I _love_ Aspen. How could I betray him like this?

I stayed pressed against Maxon as he kissed me under the moonlight. When he kissed me even harder for second, I couldn't help it when all thoughts of Aspen (well, all thoughts of everything, really) vanished. It was just Maxon and me - the king and the maid, Maxon Schreave and America Singer. I may have loved Aspen, but he was gone. And now, Maxon was here.

Suddenly I had renewed enthusiasm. I kissed Maxon back with fevor, abandoning my hesitance and fear. He certainly wasn't complaining. Clutching Maxon tightly, I could feel my tears starting to flow, but they were a mix of sad and happy. Happy to be with Maxon, but sad... because this felt like a good-bye. Good-bye to Aspen, good-bye to my old life. Good-bye to everything that I had done, and a good-bye to the person I used to be.

Too quickly, the kiss ended. It had probably only been a minute, but it felt both so infinite and almost nothing at all at the same time.

I was too shocked to say anything. My head felt hot, and my breaths were quick. My eyes were wide, and Maxon stared at them for a second, his lips quirked up slightly. He seemed pleased that he had rendered me utterly and completely speechless.

My voice came out hoarse after a few seconds of silence. "You have to go." Uttering the words pained me, but we both knew it was true. It suddenly felt like that kiss had been a sign of our relationship. He would always be tugged away. We could never love each other, or be together.

And yet, we were.

Maxon looked at me, conflicted. I gave a short nod with a small, sad smile, and he pecked me quickly on the cheek before walking away. He disappeared into the Palace, and I was now alone.

It took all my self-control to not go follow him, but I knew I would have to learn to let him do his job, especially if we were ever going to enter a steady relationship.

After a few minutes of gazing at the stars, I picked up my dress and wandered back to the ball. Music was still playing, but it wasn't as crowded, or as loud, and the couples on the dance floor were dancing lazily, swaying gently to the sweet melody. I spotted my friends Chelsey, Valleree, and Lady Veronikka conversing in a corner. All three looked very tired, but they brightened when they saw me enter, and waved me over.

I weaved through the crowd, and as I reached them, Valleree was sipping a drink, waving goodbye to the guard she was telling jokes to earlier. He left with a small smile, looking serene and thoughtful as he walked away without a word. His silent softness balanced with Valleree's loud boldness very well.

Lady Veronikka twirled her dress around in a circle, sighing to herself happily. A guard, who resembled one of her favorite book characters (I would know, she had described him in detail to me one afternoon), quickly kissed her hand and said goodbye. Oh, Veronikka. I smirked.

Chelsey was just sweet and calm as she usually was. A serene smile lit up her face as she swayed along to the music. She noticed me before Veronikka or Valleree, and smiled widely. "America, where have you been? We've been looking everywhere for you!"

I opened my mouth to speak when Valleree and Lady Veronikka turned to listen, but a guard promptly rushed over.

"Lady Veronikka," the man greeted, anxious like the guard who had interrupted Maxon and me earlier. "There is urgent news, and you are needed, please." Veronikka's relaxed posture and easygoing smile disappeared. Straightening up, she lifted the hem of her dress, her eyebrows knit and her mouth in a grin straight line.

"I'm so very sorry I can't hear the juicy news," she winked at me through her worry as she sent me a last glance. "Remember the details, I want to hear everything." And with that and a quick smile, she was whisked away, following the silent guard. For a moment I watched as they disappeared into the crowd.

"What was that all about?" asked a concern Valleree. I hadn't been up close with her since the beginning of the ball, which felt ages ago, but she still looked as collected as ever. Her lipstick was smudged from drinking punch, but besides her obvious weariness, she looked pretty happy.

"That's actually what I wanted to tell you all about," Chelsey and Valleree looked eagerly at me as I spoke. "But I'm not saying anything until Keahna comes over. I want to tell as many of you as I can." I sent them a sly grin, and Chelsey smiled back, jittery with excitement. Valleree groaned with a sigh.

"We'll have to wait forever if you want to talk to Keahna too." She pointed towards the dance floor, and I turned. To my surprise, Keahnna was dancing in the arms of the guard Derrick, Valleree's cousin, and the man who had been with me for my first dance. "She's been dancing with him for the past five minutes." Valleree rolled her eyes. "I don't like it that my friend is falling in love with my cousin," she said sourly. "That's just gross."

Chelsey smiled. "Five minutes isn't even that long, Vall," she commented.

"I know, but it's just… weird." Valleree shivered, frowning.

I tried to hide a smile as I watched Keahna and a masked Derrick dance together. Maybe she had felt my gaze, or perhaps it was fate, but her eyes landed on mine, lighting up even more when she saw me. She continued dancing for a minute, and as I watched her fluid, graceful movements, my eyes caught Lady Veronikka hurrying up the grand staircase as she followed the guard. I felt slightly worried. If both Maxon and his advisors had been called, then something big must be going on. I knew Maxon could handle his job, as could Veronikka, but I was worried for them. What could've happened that made everyone so distressed and flustered?

As the song ended, Keahna excused herself from Derrick-in-disguise, a smile never leaving her face. Then, she rushed towards us, her eyes bright, cheeks flushed, and grin wide.

"America!" She exclaimed as she drew near. "I haven't seen you since the party started!"

I nodded, but Keahna turned to Valleree just then. "Oh, Vall, I met your cousin Derrick."

Vall sent her a bewildered glance. "Um… yeah, I noticed." She and I exchanged a confused look.

"He was so rude," Keahna huffed, and Chelsey frowned. "I'm so glad that guard was so much nicer than him…" Keahna sighed as she looked back to the dance floor. "He was just so sweet, and exceedingly handsome," she winked. "I could tell that even without the mask on." She sighed again, a familiar look in her eye.

Chelsey cleared her throat, her eyes wide with disbelief at the ignorant Keahna. Valleree nearly leaned over on her side to hurl, but Chelsey helped her get back up straight. "Um, Keahna, you do know that the guard you danced with was Sir Derrick, right? Are you trying to trick us?" All three of us stared at her, and Keahna just looked back.

"What? No." She glanced to the dance floor. "That can't be Derrick! When I met Derrick earlier he was so flirty and annoying!" She frowned. "The guard I danced with was so polite! They can't be the same person!"

I, still in a slight shock, couldn't really respond to my friend. Valleree, meanwhile, always had a sarcastic comment by her side. "I'm pretty sure I can recognize my own cousin, Keahna." Valleree shook her head.

Keahna huffed, about to speak, but to avoid a fight, I butted in. "Please, we can fight about Derrick another time." Valleree stuck out her tongue at Keahna childishly. "But right now, I want to tell you about what happened with Maxon."

"And we want to hear!" Chelsey piped up, also wanting to avoid a quarrel between Valleree and Keahna.

"Oh, my God!" Keahna burst out, becoming distracted by a different love story than her own. Valleree, still slightly annoyed, just rolled her eyes at Keahna's antics. "You mean our plan worked?" Keahna squealed.

Rolling her eyes once again, Valleree made an annoyed sound, which sounded more like a hiss, and then looked at me, her eyes bright. Even she couldn't resist the idea of their plan falling into place. "America, so, what did the Goofball Maxon do this time? Did he profess his love to you? Did you get to say everything you wanted? Did you-" she lowered her voice "-kiss?!" She burst with questions.

I pursed my lips to hide a smile, but said nothing. How could I even begin to describe?

Chelsey moved Keahnna out of the way and gave me a funny look. "Go on, tell us. You're really good at making us wait, you know?" She said teasingly.

I smiled as the rest of them laughed, but now that the time had come to gossip about it I felt slightly nervous. The scene out there had been private for me… I wasn't sure anymore if I wanted to tell them. Seeing their eager faces, I knew I had to at least tell them something. "Well, we went outside…" I blushed when Keahna bit her lip, trying to hide a huge smile. "And then he realized it was me, and we talked, and…" I looked down at the floor. "I suppose we're a thing now."

There was no excited squeals, laughs, exclamations, or anything really. Only silence, so I looked up to see three equally disappointed faces.

"America!" Chelsey exclaimed. "You can't possibly expect that we'll let you off after you tell us just that! C'mon, you can tell us what happened!"

"Yeah," Keahna agreed with a small pout, her eyes twinkling hopefully at me. "Tell us more!"

A glint came to Valleree's eye. "Yeah, did he cry? Did you cry? Was he calm or angry? Was it a sweet or a," She lowered her voice, "steamy kiss?" Valleree pretended to gag, but shot me a sly wink.

I blushed. "Well, we both cried some tears… mostly happy ones, though." Keahna let out a dreamy sigh. "And we kissed, but it was nothing," I assured them, even though I knew that it was _far_ from nothing. "But a guard interrupted us." Chelsey frowned. I scanned my eyes around the room. "There's something going on. Both Maxon and Lady Veronikka are gone."

Valleree snorted. "Wow, America."

"What?" I asked in confusion. Did she know something I didn't? "What'd I do?"

She laughed. "I just think it's funny that you call Maxon by his first name, and yet you still refer to Veronikka as a Lady."

I frowned. Had I done that? I shrugged at Valleree. "Well, we have different relationships, that's all."

Chelsey snickered. "That part's obvious," she said with a smile, elbowing me lightly.

"For one, you're definitely not dating Ver, which would be absolutely totally out of the question," All three of the girls made a disgusted face, "and plus, how did he ask you out?" Valleree intruded eagerly.

"Well, Maxon was just really… sweet and cute." I could feel my cheeks flushing red as I told the girls. I didn't tell them the part about him rejecting me at first, and getting angry. I didn't judge him for being upset - it was my fault, after all, but I didn't want the girls to think there was more drama than there actually was.

"That's so cute!" Keahna squealed. I suddenly remembered being jealous - yes, I can admit my jealousy now - when I had overheard Maxon ask her to start their relationship. Now, though, after understanding why Maxon had felt pressured to ask in the first place, Keahna's obvious attraction to Sir Derrick, and how excited the woman was by my newfound relationship with Maxon, I knew Keahna couldn't possibly be interested in Maxon anymore, if she ever was. Unless she was a good actress, of course, but I highly doubted that the easily passionate Keahna could be that good at acting.

"Excuse me? Excuse me, everyone?" A slightly worried looking Veronikka stood up near the staircase, holding a microphone. The music stopped, people stopped dancing, and the chatter lowered. Once getting the attention of everyone, she smiled tightly. "Thank you again for joining us at this Masquerade Ball. Unfortunately, this magnificent event is drawing to a close. We will have a few more dances, so make sure to have fun before the ball ends. Thank you," Veronikka finished with a smile and everyone politely clapped. She handed the microphone to a guard and hurried to the room upstairs again. The music started again, couples swaying to the beat and a chatter sounded through the hall. I saw a few people head to the door, probably wanting to avoid the crowd leaving at the end of the party.

Despite the relaxed atmosphere, I was even more worried than before. Even I knew that the party was ending rather early, and I had never heard of a ball that ended at a specific time. Why were they clearing everyone out so soon? A selfish part also wondered if I'd get to see Maxon again tonight, and maybe continue what we had started…

I turned back to my friends. Chelsey was hugging Keahna and Valleree good-bye. She turned to me, likewise enveloping her arms around me. "I have to check up on the maids. Since the party is going to be over soon, I'll need to make sure my clean-up crew is ready." She smiled, but I frowned.

"Oh, do you want help?"

Chelsey shook her head. "Thanks, but you're here because this is your night. There's still a chance Maxon will come at the end of the party and sweep you off your feet!" She winked. "And also make sure Vall and Keahna don't fight anymore, okay? They're both really stressed, and I'm pretty sure both of their patience is running low." She sent our two other friends worried glances. I nodded, and she smiled again.

"Great, I'll maybe see you later tonight," Chelsey shrugged, "but if not I'll see you bright and early tomorrow morning!" I groaned, and she laughed. "Don't think you've gotten off easy, though," she shot me a pointed look. "We all know there's more details from with Maxon, and I especially need to know." I smiled and waved, and she walked away.

Keahna sighed. "Since the party is ending, I better go talk to the guard," she wrinkled her nose, much less amused with him now than earlier. "I really hope he's not Derrick…" she rolled her eyes. "Doesn't he have a girlfriend?"

Valleree huffed. "Yes. And that's more reason to be mad at him. He has a girlfriend, conveniently away at her vacation house, and now he's dancing with everyone!" Valleree exclaimed. "First America, and now you!"

Keahnna glanced to me. Her expression was unreadable. "You danced with him?" She questioned, and her eyes flashed when I nodded. "Then I had really better go talk to him," she said determinedly, hitching up her dress and heading towards the clueless guard.

"Show no mercy!" Valleree called after her, half teasing and half serious. Keahna sent her an exasperated look before stomping away. Valeree snorted.

"Well, now it's obvious that she'll just never learn," she shook her head, and I stifled a giggle.

Valleree smiled. "Are you hungry? I haven't seen you eat tonight."

"Oh, have you been watching me?" I teased.

"I'm worried, that's all," Valleree defended with a smile. She swung an arm around my shoulder. "You're like a little sister to me." She ruffled my hair and smirked. "Gotta make sure you don't get into any trouble, Mer."

I stiffened. Mer she had said. It was so casual, and yet had such a deeper meaning. As I blinked, an image of Aspen flashed before my mind. Once again I had a longing for him to be here with me, to wrap me up in his warm embrace and never let go. I wanted him to take away all these confusing feelings and tell me everything was okay.

"... America?" Valleree stared at me, concerned. "Are you okay?" She had taken her arm away from my shoulder.

I shook myself. "Um, yeah, sorry, I'm fine. Let's go eat, I am actually very hungry."

Valleree looked at me doubtfully, but smiled when my stomach growled in agreement of myself. "Um… okay, let's go." So I followed as she led me to a refreshment table, trying to force thoughts of Aspen out of my mind.

As we chatted - slightly awkwardly, I might add, since both of us were slightly worried because Veronikka wasn't there - and ate, a guard came up to us. I sighed, anticipating high-ranked Valleree to be called away too, and I would be left alone while she would go up with King Maxon and Lady Veronikka.

Instead, the guard offered his hand to Valleree hesitantly, a small smile lingering on his lips. On closer inspection, I recognized him to be the quiet guard who Valleree had been cracking jokes to earlier that evening. He asked for a dance, and I smiled slyly at Valleree as she blushed and sent me a sideways glance. She put down her food and took the guard's hand. I was surprised when she followed him timidly, almost shyly. Was this the boisterous Valleree I knew? Valleree wasn't a bad dancer, exactly, but she looked so nervous that she kept stepping on the guard's feet. Luckily, the man just laughed it off, causing Valleree to blush and roll her eyes. It was quite adorable to be honest.

My eyes caught another couple dancing, Keahna and Sir Derrick. They looked happy, if a bit intense. Keahna would say something, and Derrick would respond. Eventually they both became more and more agitated, and yet they still danced on, which puzzled me.

So as I waited for Maxon, I watched the couples on the dance floor, wanting to be one of them too...

* * *

"Hello," someone said to me suddenly. I turned to see a young woman in a beautiful dress smiling at me. She had a slight accent, though I couldn't tell from where.

"My name is Brynn Ackerman," she introduced before I could say anything. "I am New Zealand's Prime Minister's daughter." Oh, so that was where her accent was from. I was glad when she continued, because I did not want to introduce myself. "I was here as a guest to-" she cleared her throat, "meet King Maxon, but..." she blushed, and I suddenly understood what she meant. This woman had come to meet King Maxon, and to potentially court or date him. I blushed too, embarrassed when envy erupted inside of me. She, unlike me, actually had a chance with him. It would be a right choice, a smart choice, for Maxon to marry someone who had political power to form an alliance. And it was _legal_ for them to get married. For me, as a maid, marrying or even publicly dating Maxon was near impossible. I didn't even know if it was allowed, since nothing like this had ever happened.

"I saw you dancing with him," Brynn explained, still blushing, though there was no bitterness in her eyes. She just looked a little embarrassed. "I wanted to say... congratulations. You two seemed very infatuated with each other."

My eyes widened. "I... uh, thank you." I didn't know how to respond. "But, um, please don't tell anyone about this," I laughed nervously, trying to act casual. I could not be recognized as the prince's nanny. Subconsciously, I started ducking my head down a little, not meeting her eyes. "I mean, nothing is for sure. But His Majesty is very nice," I finished awkwardly, but she just smiled.

"Of course," she assured me. Brynn's wavy brown hair reminded me of the late Queen Kriss. "Illea will need a good queen to help King Maxon lead. I would not want to ruin that for either of you."

I smiled at her, but before she could say anything, a man came up behind her. He was handsome, and she blushed when he looked at her. "Lady Ackerman," he said smoothly, in the same accent as her. In his clean, pristine uniform with New Zealand's crest on it, I assumed he was one of her guards, or escorts. "Would you like this dance?"

Brynn nodded, immediately forgetting about me, and followed him onto the dance floor. I didn't mind. Just because she had someone who loved her, didn't mean I had to be bitter because I currently didn't.

I hoped that was soon to change.

* * *

"The party's going to be ending soon."

Valleree's sympathetic voice told me as I waited impatiently. After a few dances with the guard, he had excused himself to do something for his job, so he and Valleree had parted ways. Valleree had looked quite satisfied as they excused themselves, though, and now she was back with me, near an empty refreshments table.

My eyes kept flitting up to the top of the grand staircase, where a closed door was stationed there, just that - closed. I waited for it to open as more and more people slowly dawdled out of the ballroom. Now, I highly doubted I would see Maxon again tonight. This both worried me and hurt me. Was everything alright? I wondered. I was worried for both Maxon and Veronikka, who hadn't left that room either since she had reentered a while ago. A part of me, self-conscious and insecure, asked myself if Maxon even wanted to see me again. Maybe he had felt too uncomfortable, or had been embarrassed when the guard had interrupted us. _Had it been that big of a deal? I worried indignantly._

Before my brain could go on and on, thinking up worse and worse possibilities, Valleree nudged me. "Hey, we'd better get going," she urged me. "They're cleaning up, and… I don't think anything else is going to happen," she implied awkwardly.

I yawned. "Right, of course," I relented with a sigh. If I didn't see Maxon tonight, there was always tomorrow. And even if he was busy tomorrow, I lived at the Palace. I could wait to see him.

Valleree smiled sympathetically, noting my disappointment, starting to chat about how much easier our lives would be after nearly working ourselves to death the last week. She talked about her upcoming report, and one of her trainees who was doing really well. I just listened as she wondered where Chelsey and Keahna (who had disappeared after a passionate argument with Derrick) had gone off too. As she led me to the door, I briefly speculated if all this work had been worth it. Are Maxon and I together now? Was it a waste of time?

No, I decided as I watched Valleree's pleased face as she scanned the room. Even if Maxon and I weren't going to be together, I had still had fun, and that was all that really mattered, right?

My eyes drifted up to the staircase where Maxon was working behind a closed door, and my heart panged. I might be happy now, but I knew I wouldn't be happy in the future if our plan didn't work. I needed to convince him I was totally in love with him if I wanted to ever have a good relationship with him.

I wanted to tell myself that I would fall in love for sure, and that Maxon would love me back, and that we would live happily ever after. But I couldn't.

Maxon had given me hope for a better future - together. But I knew that it could never be easy. We were an impossible couple. Perhaps, if I had entered his Selection those many years ago, something else could have happened, but now... the king and a maid falling in love. If that wasn't one of the hardest fates you could imagine, I didn't know what was.

After all, true love was usually the most inconvenient kind.

 _END OF CHAPTER SEVENTEEN_

* * *

 **Pretty proud of myself for updating reasonably soon (the holidays are just SO busy) but maybe since you're on the other side of the spectrum, you feel differently? I don't know, haha.**

 **Anyway, I hope this satisfies all of your hopes, although I doubt anyone will be able to predict what happens next... *wink wink***

 **THANK YOU TO ALL THE REVIEWS/FOLLOWS/FAVORITES! I smile every time I see one, and I appreciate you taking time out of your day.**

* * *

 **To** _stanford18_ **: First of all, nice name! Second, you're just too sweet! Your review was like a breath of fresh air because, even though I love all positive reviews, sometimes the pressure to update is a little much. Thank you for your support! I'm glad there's someone who will always be there to read what I write for this story. :)**

 **To** _Alice_ **: Aw, thanks! My co-author and I tried to stick to what we thought the characters would act like if it had turned out like this, but we also tried to put our own spin on it! Also, thanks for being the first to respond to my question! I agree!**

 **To** _X-NessieCullen-X_ **: I hope Maxon and America end up together too (but no spoilers)! Thanks for taking your time to review!**

 **To** _Guest Anonymous_ **: Ooh, eloping DOES sound cool, but unfortunately that probably won't happen in this story (or will it...? haha). I just can't imagine Maxon abandoning his entire country, even if he loves America.**

 **To** _Mathilda208_ **: AW THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING first of all, also I would like to say that _yes_ , America does need someone to counter her... uh, what's the word? ... America-ness, haha. And Maxon's just perfect for her! :) Also, I'll have to see if I want to include an epilogue at the end, because if anything _does_ happen, it'd probably take awhile. And Adelynne might come back, but it depends. I'm glad you liked her though! Lastly, you mentioning the relationship between America and her friends helped me come up with this chapter's question, so thanks!**

 **To** _KateWinters97_ **: I hope you didn't die during that little break. ;) Also, I too had a friend kinda sorta spoil it for me since she read it before me, but pretty much after the first book I knew she would end up with Maxon (although the ultimate levels of stress were always there). Aspen/Lucy makes me so happy and sad at the same time... At least they have America's FOUR children to practically their own. XD**

 **To** _canifindtheone_ **: Haha, yay you're back! When you didn't review for awhile (I know, I know, I expect too much), I actually wondered where you were, but hey, I should just be thankful you're reviewing at all! I hope my writing is improving as I go! :)**

 **To** _CandycornPrincess1782_ **: Yeah, I would get so frustrated at Aspen in the first series sometimes that I wanted to scream! But once America and Maxon were together, I actually really liked him (you can read my full rant a few lines down XD). Thanks for reviewing!**

 **To** _Guests, NikkiPond, bahbuhbailey_ **: Thank you so much for all your kind thoughts! They really make my day!**

 **Hope you enjoyed this chapter!**

* * *

 _My answer to last week's question: In the beginning of the series, when Maxon hadn't been introduced, I actually kinda liked Aspen. But as soon as America arrived at the Palace I was totally on Team Maxon, and I got so frustrated at Aspen when he interrupted them or messed with America's feelings (which was like every other chapter... )! Ugh. But after Maxon and America got together for sure, he became much more tolerable with his relationship with Lucy. I started to really like him when he showed the more sibling-like love between him and America, because I think she needs the support._

* * *

 ** _Question(s): Which of my OC's (Chelsey, Valleree, Veronikka, and Keahnna) is your favorite so far in the story?_ _Also, if you haven't noticed, one of them is based off of me. Who do you think it is?_**


	19. Shattered Mirror, Broken Heart

**Chapter Eighteen**

I woke up the next morning to a headache and sunlight streaming in on my face. I groaned, throwing a pillow over my eyes to block off the blinding light.

"Wake up!" A happy voice encouraged. "You may be tired from last night, but we have work to do!"

I threw the pillow at the voice tiredly, and it thumped on the ground, missing the target. My eyes were still closed, but I could sense the light even with closed eyelids. "Chelsey, what time is it? And _what_ are you doing in my bedroom?"

Chelsey yanked the curtains close again, and I opened my eyes reluctantly, squinting at the shape in my room. She rolled her eyes at me. "Don't you want to see Maxon?" I sat up a little straighter, and she laughed. "Well since Lorrin is on a break, I thought I would wake you up." Lorrin was one of the maids who helped with taking care of Chase right before I started my shift, so she was usually the one who woke me up every morning (which may sound stuck-up, but I was a very heavy sleeper). Today Chelsey had taken the job of Lorrin to wake me up.

While I brightened at the thought of seeing Maxon today, I was still really tired, and I had forgotten about working again today. (Not to mention that I was sure that someone had slipped _something_ into my drink; I had a dull pounding in my head.) _I had forgotten I had been a Six last night_ , a slightly part of me realized sadly. I was becoming more and more like a Two. I stared at Chelsey. "You mean I actually have to work today?" I asked as I clutched my head and whined. "Chelsey, I'm exhausted!"

"So am I. So is practically everyone." Chelsey told me with her lips slightly pursed, and I winced.

"Okay, I'm sorry, I sound a bit like a brat right now." I sighed. "I just… I'm still a little disappointed, Chels." Her gaze softened, and she sat on the edge of my bed as I sat up and brushed my red hair out of my eyes. "I know Maxon's busy, but will it _always_ be like this? If we do get together, will we ever have any privacy at all? How am I supposed to love him if I barely spend any time with him?" I throw my hands up in exasperation, and Chelsey sighed.

"America, that's how you _show_ your love." She smiled. "Maxon is busy, yes, and I think the reason he is attracted to you is because he knows you understand that. By letting him do his job, understanding the importance of it, and still appreciating him all the same, will show him your love. Do you know the old saying, 'If you love someone set them free?'" She asked. I shook my head. "Well, the next part is, 'if they come back, they're yours." She smiled gently as she stood up, and I sighed and stretched, getting her point.

I squeaked and covered my eyes with my hand as sunlight flooded the room again, and Chelsey laughed. "C'mon, if you want to see Maxon, the best way to do it is to look around his house."

I threw my other pillow at her, this time with better aim since my eyes were actually open, and she ducked with a giggle. "Chelsey, it sounds so creepy when you say it like that."

Chelsey tried to make an evil face that just made her start laughing again, her giggling along with me. "Well, that's me," she winked. "The _creepy_ one." We laughed, and I smiled as I got out of bed and went to start getting ready for the day.

This was a pretty good start to my day, and it could only get better, right?

 _Oh, how wrong I had been._

* * *

Chelsey and I wandered through the Palace together. Understanding my predicament, soft-hearted Chelsey agreed to let me come along with her on her rounds through the large castle. _That way,_ she had reasoned to me, _You can try to see Maxon as we check on everyone_. Her only circumstance was that if there was a problem with something mad-related as we walked through the halls, I would help with. I had of course been relieved, knowing Chelsey was being extremely lenient to let me go around with her in the first place.

"Chelsey?" a distressed voice called out, and we both turned. Keahna, struggling to hurry towards us in high heels, looked at us worriedly.

"Where is Valleree?" She asked us. "And Veronikka?"

We both shrugged, and she frowned. "I haven't seen either them since last night. In fact, I haven't seen Veronikka at _all_ since the ball. Where could they be?"

This, of course, made me worried too, but luckily an exhausted looking Valleree called out to us from down the hall.

"There you are!" Keahna cried indignantly. "I've been looking everywhere for you!"

Valleree rolled her eyes. "Well, I'm so very sorry I wasn't where you had looked. I was, however, also looking for you." Her brow furrowed, suddenly looking worried. "Bad news," she said as she turned to me with a guilty look.

We all looked at her in a concerned way. "What?" Chelsey asked.

Before she could answer, Veronikka came rushing towards us, a couple guards accompanying her. She was wearing a suit jacket and skirt, her hair up neatly, and ...

My eyebrows furrowed. Was that a suitcase her personal guard was holding for her?

Veronikka looked close to tears as she rushed towards us. She immediately hugged Chelsey, who welcomed her with open arms.

"That," Valleree said grimly, "is the bad news."

Veronikka sniffled as she pulled away from Chelsey. "Ugh, I always have to ruin everything, don't I?" Veronikka muttered. I couldn't help but think that was so untrue, but I didn't bother. Veronikka was too upset.

"What the heck happened to you?" Keahnna voiced my concern in a shrill voice.

Veronikka looked miserable. "I have to leave with the rest of the advisors. And-" she shot me a guilty look. "Maxon has to leave too."

My heart plummeted, but I swallowed, hoping there was some mistake.

Chelsey paled, and Keahna burst out saying, "What? What do you mean? Leave where?" I just stood there, my heart slowly sinking.

I only muttered one word. "When?" Maybe there would be hope - I could at least say good-bye to him. But Veronikka's face reflected only guiltiness and disappointment.

"He's already gone. He left last night," Veronikka shook her head. "I'm so sorry. I only barely managed to convince them to let me stay for this morning, to say good-bye…" she sighed. I only stared, my mouth open. I couldn't process this.

"Where? And why?" Chelsey wondered.

Veronikka continued, "There's a huge threat somewhere over in Asia, and they want Maxon." I paled, and her eyes widened. "Oh, no, not that way!" She corrected herself quickly. "They just want to talk with him, to figure out some problems… I'm entitled to go. I'm so, so sorry." she finished, her voice breaking.

"It's not your fault," Chelsey told her.

A guard stepped up to Veronikka, tapping her lightly on the shoulder. "We have to go, my lady."

Veronikka nodded. "Yes, just a minute, please."

She sighed, then hugged Chelsey tightly again. She turned to Valleree and Keahnna, giving them hugs too, and then she looked to me.

Her brown eyes were watery. "I can't believe I'm gonna miss all the gossip," she said, smiling tightly. I can't manage to say anything. Next thing I know, she's hugging me tightly. It only lasted a second, but I could feel the love.

I could also feel the pain, and how terrified she was. She felt worried, I knew. And guilty.

Pulling back, Veronikka took my hands in hers. "Maxon wanted more than anything to say good-bye," she whispered.

Suddenly, I felt her slipping something into my hand. She winked at me, tears sparkling in her eyes, and then stepped away. I could feel tears pricking my eyes too.

I gripped the small crumpled paper in my hand tightly. _What was it?_ I wondered excitedly - and just a tiny bit of dread creeped into my heart. Was it something with secret information? Or something even more valuable to me - a note from Maxon.

"I love you all," Veronikka promised as she smiled. "Good-bye. I'll see you soon."

"Good-bye." The rest of the girls chimed together, but I was silent. I knew if I spoke, I would burst into tears. It took all my strength to not break down.

Chelsey sighed as Veronikka left our sight, but Keahnna huffed. Her outraged and confused voice brought me out of my shock.

"What could be so urgent that he had to leave overnight? Couldn't they have at least said goodbye?" I, too, wondered about this. How big, exactly, was this threat? The way Veronikka put it, everything seemed small, and she said they would make it quick. Would everything actually be quick? Or was she just trying to reassure us? What was really going on?

Then, of course, there was jealousy that Keahnna was so concerned for Maxon, but I pushed it away. Now was really not the time.

"It's not their fault," Chelsey insisted. "They're the leaders of our country, and they have responsibilities."

"They also have responsibilities to us." Keahnna said with a hurt, bitter tone.

"We love them because of who they are." Chelsey said sternly. "And who they are are good, responsible people who care about others. They had to go."

That shut Keahnna up, but she still looked upset. "I'm going to my room."

Valleree, Chelsey, and I watched as she left.

"I have a meeting," Valleree said shortly. I couldn't read her expression. She rushed away too.

Now it was just me and Chelsey. She sighed. "We have to keep hope," she said, but I wasn't sure who she was trying to convince - me, or herself.

Suddenly, I couldn't take it anymore. I turned and ran, tears starting to fall. Chelsey called after me, but I didn't listen - again.

It was too much. Blood pounding in my ears, I raced through the Palace hallways - now emptier and colder and worse now that Maxon was gone.

Everything was worse now that he was gone. Sobbing, I stopped to take a breath. I ducked into an empty parlor. Tears streamed down my cheeks. I continued to hiccup in that large, empty space.

I wiped my eyes with my hand as the initial anger and shock left me. Then I realized I was holding something tightly in my fist.

The note.

Without a slight hesitation, I opened up the crumpled up paper eagerly. It was covered in Maxon's writing, though slightly messier - I knew he had been in a rush.

 _My darling America,_

At his opening words, a happy tear streaked down my cheek as I smirked. At least it was better than 'my dear.'

* * *

 _I am so sorry I have to leave you. After everything, I know this will hurt you the most. But please, America, do not lose hope. Keep your fire, your love, and boldness. Be the America I know you to be. And when it seems like I have been gone for ages - though I hope I shan't be gone long - remember how it feels. Because everything you have and are going to feel, I have already felt. When you left me, it hurt me more than anything. So I want you to take that pain and let it make you stronger._

 _Do that, and you can prove yourself to me. Do that, and I will most definitely come back._

 _Love,_

 _Maxon_

 _P.S. - I have elected you as Chase's new nanny - Chelsey will be informed as well._

 _P.P.S. - Get rid of this note as soon as you've read it. I don't want you getting into trouble, my love._

* * *

I stared at the note, shocked.

That's all? That's _it?_ After everything, that's all he says? When he's leaving for weeks, maybe even months, he writes that.

I can feel the tears coming again, but I wipe them away angrily.

I scan it again through my tears. First he apologizes for leaving me, but it doesn't sound like he's sorry. Then he talks to me like a child, as if I'll be weak without him. Who says I need him? I might miss him, but he makes it sound like I might just die of loneliness.

And then he guilt-trips me, making me remember how he felt when I ran away after the rebel attack. He tries to make me feel bad, when he's the one leaving me. And then he wants me to prove myself? I wouldn't need to prove myself if he'd just stayed! I knew I loved him now, but I couldn't tell him! Now he wouldn't know for months!

I started to cry again. I wasn't really angry at him - well, I was, but seeing the note just made it more real. I couldn't believe, after everything, that we were being separated again. It was like the universe didn't want us together. Or perhaps the universe likes the drama.

The door opening surprised me, and I stood up suddenly. A maid came in, then halted when she saw me. She flicked the light on. "America?"

It's Mallory.

I nearly cried in relief - but then I paused. I didn't know Mallory very well. Sure, I talked to her when we met up in halls, but after everything… it felt like I hadn't seen her in forever.

"What are you-" she started off, and then noticed my disheveled appearance. She rushed over to me, not even asking why I was so upset, and wrapped me in her arms. We fell back onto the couch as she held me tight.

I finally let everything out. Mallory didn't ask for any explanation - she was just there. She let me cry in silence as she held me close.

We sat there for what seemed like forever as I cried and thoughts swirled through my head quickly.

Worry coursed through my body, starting at my heart and filling up my entire being, from my head to my toes. I started feeling sick at the thought of Maxon in a not-so-friendly country, Veronikka with him, and I imagined them getting hurt. How long will they be gone? I wondered.

The irrational, stupid, and jealous part of me wondered if he'd be the same when he came back, and I still doubted if he even wanted to come back. I knew it was stupid, but I was hurt. How could he have left me so quickly? They could be gone, for days, or weeks, or maybe even months. I honestly didn't know how long this trip would take, and that worried me. How was I supposed to look forward to them coming back if I didn't even know if they were coming back?

* * *

People say that love can make you blind.

Some people say that love is like a rose, whose thorns haven't been shown.

It has been four weeks, and still no sign of Maxon's return. No letters, no notes, nothing. Not even the tabloids or the news know what's going on.

Everyone else seems to be fine with it - except for me, of course. Or perhaps they just have better ways of coping.

Keahnna has been in and out of different cities, taking part in glamorous photo shoots, promoting whatever she was paid to promote. Valleree left the country just a week ago, heading off to Sweden for some big convention thing, I don't know. She came back yesterday, but I haven't seen her yet, and the last week without her and my other friends had been lonely. Chelsey, too, was busy touring with her family in France.

But I felt alone nonetheless. Never in my life have I yearned so much for commotion, for any type of good old girl gossip.

The only one way I managed to stay the "fiery, loving, bold America" that Maxon believed me to be was through his son - Chase.

Since Chelsey left the Palace for France, I was left in charge. But I still wanted to be spend time with Chase - he was all I had left of Maxon. So I hired an assistant - Mallory. She would do the feeding, and changing, and rocking. She was the real nanny, I suppose. But I visited every morning and afternoon to play with the little Prince. The visits were the highlights of my day. I could already see so much of Maxon in his heir.

Mallory didn't mind - she knew I missed King Maxon, though she didn't know why or how exactly. Plus, it gave her a break. She said Chase played better with me, anyway.

One day, I came into Chase's chambers to be greeted with screaming - ugly, loud, terrible screaming. Mallory was doing her very best to calm Chase down, but the baby was stubborn. He screamed and yelled and cried. I rushed over to help, and as soon as Chase was in my arms, he stopped. He was quiet again.

Mallory stared at me with wide eyes, a grin splitting her face. "You're a miracle worker," she whispered, relieved. "He didn't sleep at all last night."

Already, I could feel his body relaxing. After a few minutes of rocking him around, Mallory offered to take him and put him in his crib. I declined. For the first time in weeks, I was content. And I wanted to stay that way.

I held him for another few hours, just rocking. When he woke up, I played with him.

But I still had a lot of work to do. I hadn't known Chelsey's work had been so hard. She always acted so cheerful and sweet, and always able to help. What I learned was that nearly everyone came to you for help - not just friends. Everyone relied on you - it was the Palace, after all, and it had to be spotless. I had to help clean, organize, and take charge. I was busy now. But at least it took my mind off things.

And by things, of course, I meant Maxon. But it was so hard to forget about him when I was in house all day. Everything I saw reminded me of him.

But without the King, no royal ambassadors of visitors came often. Work wasn't very fun anymore, without new visitors and guests coming. And with most of my friends gone, I was lonely too.

Every now and then, I'd get the chance to visit Queen Amberly, whose health was keeping her bedridden. I enjoyed mornings reading to her, and sharing some stories of Adelynne. It warmed my heart to see Queen smile, and sometimes even laugh.

But a pang of sorrow struck my heart every time I saw her. She would lay there, staring out the window, watching the sun come up in the morning and start to set in the afternoon. Nurses and doctors came back and forth, giving her treatment, and leaving after their work was finished. It saddened me to see such an influential person, so wise and warm, spend her days alone. I'm sure Maxon visited her everyday before he left, but with his absence leaving us all empty, I couldn't bear to think of what Queen Amberly must be feeling. Worry? Sadness?

One morning, when Chase was taking a nap and literally nothing else was happening in the Palace, I headed over to the Royal Chambers.

"Your Majesty, it's me, Maid America." I chimed softly, entering her room. Queen Amberly shifted her head from the window, and closed the book that was resting in her hands. "Oh, America, it's so nice to see you." She replied warmly, with a smile growing on her lips. "I wasn't expecting you today."

Her kindness and warm personality reminded me of her son. But I couldn't tell her that.

Taking a deep breath, I returned her smile. "Chase fell asleep early, and there's not much else I can do." I paused. "Work has gotten a bit… dull after…" I swallowed.

Queen Amberly smiled. "My son left?" she offered. "Yes, he did have quite the influence on everyone." She blinked slowly, staring out the window with a look of deep melancholy on her face. "I haven't received any news, my dear," she said, shooting me a glance. "But I will let you know if I do."

I was shocked speechless. First, I was surprised that not even the past Queen was getting news. And form her son, too. How could Maxon just leave us in the dark like this? It wasn't right, and if I was feeling hurt and betrayed, I couldn't imagine how Queen Amberly was feeling.

I was also shocked that the Queen already knew me so well. How had she known I was missing Maxon so deeply? How had she known I wanted news? I was too uncomfortable to talk about it, though, so I just quickly nodded and cleared my throat.

"I've brought another story." I sat down in a plushy chair placed next to her bed, showing her the book cover. Queen Amberly smiled and nodded. I wondered how she could be so graceful after all this time.

I looked over on her nightstand, a glass of water still full. "My Queen, you really must take care of yourself! Stay hydrated and healthy, okay?" I said, handing her the glass. Queen Amberly gave me an exasperated look and nodded, taking a few sips of the water. I smiled.

"I wasn't very thirsty," she told me softly, but drank a few more sips to please me. She cleared her throat delicately. "Now then, my dear-" Oh, gosh, they even call me the same endearing nickname - "let's see what magical adventure we will partake in with this book, yes?" Queen Amberly said, a smile still ever present on her face.

"Of course, My Queen!"

* * *

As I said my goodbyes to Queen Amberly, I caught glimpse of Keahnna in the hallway.

"Keahnna!" I quickly exclaimed as I ran towards her, my arms open wide for a hug. Keahnna's face didn't light up as it would normally. Instead, she cast me a glare. That all faded after she pushed back her hair behind her ear and her eyes cleared.

"America! I've missed you so much!" She came in for a hug, and squeezed me tightly. But I felt different around her now. Something felt as if it changed. Something between us. I shake off the feeling and share a smile with her. I felt that's all I've been doing these days. Smiling and laughing, but not addressing the obvious problem.

I pull back from the hug. "How long are staying?"

Keahnna sighed. "Not very long. Just a few hours, to pick up some stuff, and to say hi to you guys and…" she blushed, stopping suddenly.

I raised an eyebrow, grinning. "Anything you want to tell me?"

Keahnna bit her lip, but then her face split into a grin. "Okay," she said in a hushed voice. "I've wanted to tell all of you so badly, but I didn't have the guts because of Valleree and since he's her cousin and I knew she would be mad and all-"

I stopped her. "Wait, Keanna." I look at her. "Are you dating… Derrick?"

She smiled bashfully. "Yes. I mean, it's not serious yet." She blushed. "I know Valleree doesn't like him very much, but I really want you and Chelsey and Veronikka to like him, and-"

I stopped her again. "It's okay, Keahnna," I smiled. "I'm sure I'll like him when I get to know him better."

She sighed in relief. "Okay, great." She looked at a clock on the wall, and her eyes widened. "Oh, shoot, I've got to get going. But it's alright, I'll send you a letter! I promise." She says sweetly. I sighed and nudged her softly.

"Okay then. I'll just be waiting here at the Palace for that letter then?" We both laughed, but it felt strained, at least for me.

* * *

Now, it has been two hours since Keahnna got on a private jet and headed out. I sighed as I picked up my skirt and head back to the Palace garden. Everything here is still green and in bloom. I enjoyed the weather, but I missed home.

I couldn't decide what I was most troubled about. The looming absence of Maxon from a few weeks ago that always seemed to be in the back of my mind? Or Keahna's weird reaction to seeing me and leaving so soon? I didn't know. Then again, I was usually clueless to everything that has happened so far.

I decided to do something I haven't done in a while - leave the Palace. So I asked for my break for the day and left the Palace.

The small shops that lined the paved streets of the road teemed with life. Children played with sticks and pretended to be knights in shining armor. Guard on duty interacted with kindness towards the children, allowing them to ride on their shoulders, laughing wholeheartedly.

The fountain in the middle of the square burst with liveness. A girl and a boy held hands near the fountain and threw in coins. A mother and her daughter exchanged flowers and smiles. In another corner, restaurants spread the sweet aroma of food, with each course so enticing to eat.

The Castes seemed so nonexistent here in the Royal City of Angeles; or perhaps it was just the influence of those little children. For them, the castes weren't really there - or at least not too imposing on them. Two boys, sitting underneath a tree, fell asleep. Their toys lay there, while two girls (who were probably their sisters) picked up the toys and had a small, yet delightful sword fight with one another. I giggled and passed on by.

Bakeries drew me in with their delightful display of sweets. Starting from tarts which were filled with jellies, and leading next to cakes with frosting that seemed like artwork. Smaller cakes, cupcakes had small crowns on them, similar to Maxon's.

Maxon.

His name seemed so empty to me. How could he have left me alone? Why didn't he at least bother to send another letter? I hated that he hadn't even bothered to contact me in four weeks. After reuniting with him that night at the Masquerade Ball, I had hope. We'd been separated for so long - of my doing, I admitted - and finally we had confessed we had feelings for each other, only to be separated again. But this time, not emotionally. Now, we were thousands of miles away from each other. And I didn't see any hope that we'd ever be able to reunite.

I knew I was becoming depressed. I knew thinking about him practically put me in a coma. I told myself I had to stop dreaming about him coming back. My dreams were already used up. It wouldn't be fair to get a second chance at them.

No, I had always known that life was never that easy.

After shaking away my distracted and sad thoughts, I entered the bakery that I had stared so long at. I'd probably looked odd, standing there and staring, but the baker only smiled at me as I entered.

The bell jingled as I walked through the doorway. Now, inside, I could smell the delicious aromas even stronger than outside. I took a deep breath, smiling automatically. I walked slowly around the room, looking over what I wanted. There were too many choices.

I finally decided on a strawberry tart. It looked delicious, and I could still steam coming from it. It must've been a fresh batch.

The baker noticed me staring and cheerfully asked if I wanted that one. I nodded and he told me how much I needed to pay.

As I dug up some change in my pocket, I worried. I hadn't planned to buy anything today. I hope I brought enough money.

I heard the bell jingle behind me, signaling another person had entered the bakery. Maybe they, too, had been drawn to the quaint little shop by the sweet smelling delicacies.

Once I had stuffed my hand through every pocket of my dress, I realized I was three coins short.

The baker recognized my disappointed expression and his smile disappeared. But he said nothing. I knew he wouldn't say I could just take it anyway - that wasn't right, and I didn't expect him to do that. Still, I was disappointed. I hadn't been hungry before, but I definitely was now.

"May I come back afterwards to pick it up?" I asked.

In my relief he agreed with a smile and nodded. It seemed he was a man of few words.

I was about to turn and leave to get some more money - maybe enough to buy some for a few of my fellow maid friends, when a voice stopped me.

"You don't have to, miss." A somewhat familiar voice called out. An arm reached out behind me, and placed three coins on the counter.

I jerked my head around and found myself looking up a familiar face.

I gasped when I realized who it was.

It was someone I had never expected to be in Angeles - one of my few remaining family members, right before my eyes.

Gerad Singer had arrived.

END OF CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

* * *

 **Hope you enjoyed! I know it's been awhile, but I'm in a lot of extracurriculars at school. After the holiday, it just seemed to get busier! In the next couple weeks I'll hopefully have time to update one or two more chapters. Thanks!**

* * *

 **For the guest reviewers:**

 **Tara : You're so NICE AND KIND AND AHH stop it's too much (just kidding, I love it). Someone said they have the stupidest grin on their face when they read my story, but hey, then I have a stupid grin as well so we're even. ;) I'm so happy you're enjoying it!**

 **SELECTIONLUVR3 : I appreciate your constructive criticism, so thank you, and I'm glad you're enjoying my story. However, if you plan on correcting me again (which, as I said before, is appreciated), I'd suggest maybe correcting some of the grammar in your reviews. It's just a little confusing sometimes. :)**

Other **Guests, Books4Ever,** and **Smiles: Thank you! I hope you review again!**

 **Guest : Okay, so I totally get where you're coming from when you say that you get frustrated with authors who discontinue their stories because I do as well. However, there is a very small chance this story will ever be discontinued, mainly because I've already planned out the rest of the story (and have a couple of the next chapters written already). The only way it would end would be if I lose all my writing, or disappeared off the face of the Earth, which will, hopefully, not happen. Unfortunately, I can't really say how the story ends, but I am pretty hopeful you will all be satisfied! I'm very excited, so hopefully you all are too. I will say that I tried to write to make my readers happy, while also making it interesting. :)**

 **Anyway, what are your thoughts for this chapter? Please review if you would like the** **next chapter published quicker! Not only are reviews nice, but they also remind me to update, and I tend to procrastinate, so it's very helpful. :)**

 **Love to you all!**

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 _Question of the Chapter: Which is your favorite book of the Selection series (short stories included)?_


	20. Cheese in the Trap

**Chapter Nineteen**

My little brother was here! I couldn't believe it! Well, he wasn't so little anymore, but he'd always be little Gerad to me.

Speechless, I looked him up and down. Was he real?

He had grown up well, though. He was now taller than me, and his hair was tousled into a clean haircut, but the freckles that dotted his nose were the same as when he was a kid. His skin became toned, his jaw was cut sharply, and he now owned broad shoulders and muscular limbs.

A smile split my face. I felt like crying. I leaped into his arms, laughing.

"Gerad!" I said breathlessly, pulling back. He laughed too.

"At a loss for words, America?" He asked slyly.

I just grinned. "How are you _here_?" I asked incredulously. Then I realized what he was wearing. A guard's uniform. My smile fell.

Gerad looked worriedly at me. "Hey, no, don't be upset, Mer." He smiled softly down at me, wrapping his arms around me in a big, brotherly hug. It was the first time I'd felt completely safe in a while. He still smelled like home, a scent I missed and longed for but had lost any trace of many months before.

"I got drafted." He stated the obvious, but it still made my heart pang. I bit my lip to stop from crying - but now, they felt like tears of sadness instead of joy.

He could feel me tensing up. He lifted my chin so I would look at him. I resisted at first, but seeing his familiar clear blue eyes was comforting. He smiled at me again. "I know it seems bad at first, but it's not as bad as you think." Gerad told me.

I took a step back. "Gerad, you'll be killed!" I said to him. "You're all Mom has left! How could you leave her?"

At this, Gerad's smile vanished, replaced with a look of guilt. "I'm stationed at the Palace, America. I'll be getting more money for the family. I'm doing this _for_ Mom."

I bit my lip, shaking my head. This was all going horribly wrong. I'd been so happy to see my brother, but he'd been drafted? How? Why? I felt sick when I realized that if he died, Mom would be alone. I would be alone. Kota and I were all the children she had left, but Kota had left and I was at the Palace. "You're not doing this for Mom!" I told him. "You had no choice!"

He ran a hand through his hair. "Exactly, America." His eyes shined with anger and hurt. The initial happiness from seeing each other was gone. "I had no choice. Why are you blaming me for something I couldn't help?"

At this, I took a step back. I looked down. He was right. It wasn't his fault. I shouldn't be mad at him. But I was mad at the world, anyway. Why had my brother, of all people, been drafted? Hadn't my family been punished enough? Hadn't _I_ been punished enough?

Tears started leaking out the corners of my eyes. Gerad saw this and his shoulders slumped. My anger and shock was gone, as was his. He sighed, stepping closer to wrap his arms around me.

"This wasn't how I had imagined our reunion." He said with a small laugh.

I couldn't help but giggle, hugging him back. "Me neither. Though I wasn't really imagining it either." I took a step back and raised an eyebrow. All of my tears were gone, and he smirked back at me. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming? You and May both did this and I-!" I broke off, clearing my throat. It was still hard to mention May. Especially now, after seeing my brother who I felt partly blamed me for May's death. He hadn't said anything, but I'd always felt guilty.

Gerad seemed to not want to mention May. He acted like I hadn't even mentioned her. "Well," he forced a laugh and smile. "I didn't really have time to send a letter, and I wanted to give you a surprise. I could tell you needed cheering up." I smiled at him. It was nice to hear that someone cared and noticed. Maybe he had recognized my sadness in the letters we exchanged, but I hadn't known I was so easy to read.

I wiped the last of my earlier tears away with the back of my hand, and Gerad winced. "Yeah, this is definitely not what I had expected your reaction to be when I surprised you." He rubbed the back of his neck.

I laughed. "I promise the sad tears are gone now." I reached out and pecked my brother's cheek. "Thank you for surprising me." I beamed at him. "It has cheered me up."

Gerad grinned. "It's good to hear you laugh and see you smile. I've missed you. A lot."

I hugged him again, smiling. "Me too."

His eyes gleamed and his smile was still the same. I was amazed at how so much had changed, and yet here we still were. America and Gerad. He was still the cute, rebellious little boy from back home in Carolina. He was my brother. And I loved him.

I could tell he was slightly happy about being drafted, even though he was still afraid and guilty. I knew he'd never liked being a Five. He wasn't made for the arts - music, dance, song. He'd always wanted to play soccer, and even if he'd eventually learned to paint decently, he'd had no passion. Now, at least, he was happy.

"Shall we head back to the Palace now? I'm sure you're well acquainted with everyone and everything now." He said, winking slyly.

I just smiled and quickly tightened my grip on my bag of goodies. An idea had sprung into my mind, and it fit conveniently with my desire to see my friends that day. I hooked my arm through his, and he grinned.

"I'd rather take you somewhere else."

* * *

The Fadaye Estate was owned by Valleree's family, the Fadayes. Her parents, however, preferred to tour around the world or stay in their other mansions around the kingdom. Her uncle Gavril was rarely at home since he had his job - plus two other houses around the country, and Derrick was usually busy with his job as a guard, so Valleree almost always had the mansion to herself. Even when she wasn't alone, though, it always had tons of room. When any of the girls or I were getting tired of the palace or we had a night off, we had recently started going to Valleree's house to hang out.

By now, I was used to the large cream colored mansion's size, but I was always struck by its beauty. From the outside you could see the flowering gardens, and large windows into the house. The three floors didn't do justice to the gorgeous marble floors, painted walls, and lavishly furnitured rooms inside. They even had a pool and garden in the center of the house!

I liked the house best at night, though. There were lights all around the outside of the house that lit up everything wonderfully when dusk fell. Plus, it was far enough from the main city that you could see the stars twinkling above.

As I led Gerad up the steps, Chelsey came out and greeted me with her usual bright smile. I was surprised to see her. I knew she had come back from France today, but I had been expecting her later. And certainly not at Valleree's house.

I quickly ran up to her and hugged her. "Chelsey! How was France?"

"Lovely! It was just great! I wish you could have come!" she gushed.

I smiled. "I didn't know you would be here."

"Neither did I!" Chelsey laughed breathlessly. "Well, my flight arrived early and Valleree picked me up and brought me here. I'd just gotten here when I saw you!" She smiled, then asked, "What are you doing here?" Chelsey seemed to just notice Gerad. "Oh, hello," she added, surprised.

"This is my youngest brother, Gerad." I introduced. "Gerad, this is Chelsey, the head maid at the Palace."

Chelsey beamed at him in her usual welcoming way. "It's wonderful to meet you! America has spoken so highly of you!"

Gerad laughed as he shook her hand. His eyes were wide as he looked at Chelsey. "All good things, I hope."

Chelsey blushed, shooting me an uncomfortable look. "Well." She paused. "Your sister would mostly just talk about how you liked dating lots of girls but never decided to settle down." She peered at him curiously, unafraid.

Gerad raises his eyebrows at me. "I can't say that's not true." He looks to Chelsey with a smile. "But I can assure you that I'm not as bad as my sister makes me out to be. Those girls…" he stares at Chelsey with a wide eyes, a flirty smile playing at the corner of his lips. "They weren't right for me. I'm hoping to find the girl who is."

I want to laugh and roll my eyes. It was so obvious he's flirting with her. I just hope she lets him down easy. Chelsey hates it when boys make moves on her.

To my surprise, Chelsey seemed to like Gerad a lot. She laughed. "I wish all the luck to you, then." She grinned, and then looked to me. "Why are we standing out here?" She giggled as she questioned herself. "Come on in!"

My brother and I followed her into the main entrance room. It had a high ceiling and gorgeous marble floors. I always feel like I'm in the Palace there.

"Sorry I can't go with you while America shows you around," Chelsey apologized to Gerad. "I have to finish unpacking. See you in a few minutes!"

Gerad looked at her for the few remaining moments before she left.

I cast him a teasing look. "Gerad!" I aimed to snap him out of his state.

"Mhm?" He still wouldn't look at me.

"What was that?" I asked. I can feel the smile on my face, but thinking about my brother liking one of my best friends wiped it off quickly. The idea was so foreign it befuddled me.

He ignored my question. "Say, America, do guards and maids have dinner together?"

I nodded, exasperated. "All the staff do."

His eyes gleamed. "That's nice."

"Goodness, Gerad." He finally looked at me when I said that in a stunned voice. "I have never seen you so infatuated with someone." I murmured, stifling a giggle. "And you just met her."

Gerad flushed and shook his head, but he didn't respond. He only looked around for a moment.

"You're sure this isn't part of the Palace?"

I laughed. "Didn't you already go to the Palace?"

He shrugged as I began to lead him throughout the rooms. His eyes were wide. "Yeah. But honestly, the Palace is so big that I wouldn't be surprised if this was an additional wing or something."

I nodded as I took a seat in the parlor-like room next to the kitchen. Gerad followed my lead. "It is quite nice. But Valleree's family was always close with the Maxon's." I casually let his name slip without thinking about it.

Gerad stared at me. "Maxon? You mean, King Maxon?"

I nodded, suddenly uncomfortable. "I thought you already knew that I was the prince's nanny."

Gerad ran a hand through his hair, his eyes wide. But this time, for a different reason. "I didn't know you were so casual with him."

"You say that like it's a bad thing." I said defensively.

He frowned. "It could be. The monarchy can be dangerous. Sure, it's improved." He added at my disgruntled face. "But still - I've asked a question I've always been curious about to soldiers around." He leaned closer, lowering his voice. I couldn't help but be interested. "No one knows why we're even at war with Asia. No one really knows why rebels keep attacking and pillaging villages." His eyes hardened. "How many people do you think are dying for stupid reasons? Or perhaps," Gerad's eyes darkened. "No reason at all?"

I bristled. "Maxon is doing his best. He's a good king, and a good person." And even though I knew it was true, it sounded weak.

Gerad rolled his eyes. "Mer, I'm not saying the monarchy is corrupted. I'm just saying you shouldn't be so quick to believe everything everyone says here. I mean," he pauses, "isn't it their fault she died." He couldn't bear to say her name, but we both thought it.

I swallowed, feeling anger and sadness overcome me. How could he bring her into this? This had nothing to do with May. I decided to ignore him, pushing the sadness and hurt away. I bit my lip and took a deep breath so that my eyes wouldn't start watering.

I frowned. "You've only been here... I don't even know how long you've here, but it's been a lot shorter time than me." I looked at him sharply, putting on my best 'condescending big sister' look on. "I know these people. They're my friends."

Gerad sighed. "Like I said, I don't think they're all evil." He gave me a funny look. "But you've changed a lot, America." He looks almost sad. I wanted to tell him that I'm the same, but I couldn't. I had changed. I felt older, more worn down. I had more friends, but it was like they were pulling me away from my family. And don't even get me started on Maxon.

I opened my mouth to respond, but at that moment, a loud crash sounded. Gerad and I both looked towards the door.

"What's that?"

I was too surprised to respond to Gerad's bewildered question. Without a thought, I quickly stood, picked up my skirt, and ran towards the noise. Gerad followed me.

As we run through the marble halls, I can hear yelling.

"That was a prized antique vase!" Someone screamed angrily, but I didn't recognize the voice. "You just broke a priceless family artifact!" Oh, I thought as I hurried through the mansion with Gerad hot on my tail. So that was what the big crash was.

"It - it was an accident, miss -" I heard a woman stutter, sounding shocked.

"That doesn't matter!" the first woman yelled. "What are you even doing here? You're a lowly maid. Why aren't you working?"

I followed the noises to the garden in the middle of the house. It's an open space, with a glass ceiling, and lots of natural light. I saw a shocked maid standing before a lady with an angry, livid look on her face. Shattered pieces of porcelain laid on the floor, scattered at their feet. I didn't recognize the angry woman, but her face did look somewhat familiar. Veronikka had described a face like this, Keahnna described her body language, and Valleree described her personality. It all fit perfectly.

It was Lady Jewel.

The shocked maid stood there, flinching at the insults that Lady Jewel was throwing at her.

Suddenly, Chelsey appeared, stepping between the maid and Lady Jewel. "Lady Jewel!" She stuck out a hand. "Please, you're scaring her."

I almost went up to help, but it looked like Chelsey was handling it, so I just watched curiously. This was Lady Jewel? She was even worse than I had expected.

Lady Jewel seemed surprised Chelsey was standing up to her, so Chelsey took her silence as agreement. Chelsey turned to the maid.

"Britny, go ahead and keep doing your rounds," she told the maid softly. Britny nodded quickly, her eyes wide, and hurried away.

Gerad leaned towards me. "What's going on?" He whispered in my ear. I shushed him, not taking my eyes away from Chelsey and Lady Jewel. I knew Chelsey could handle herself, but I didn't want Lady Jewel to hurt her.

Lady Jewel's shocked silence was over. "What are you doing here?" she snarled at Chelsey.

I could tell Chelsey was doing all she could not to roll her eyes.

"This is my break. I'm Valleree's guest, miss." I thought she was handling herself pretty well, being all polite when it was obvious Lady Jewel wasn't taking the same courtesy. But Lady Jewel grew even more angry.

She scowled. "Have you no respect? I am a lady. You should address me as one." She narrowed her eyes. "And don't get in my way anymore, Miss Chelsey," Lady Jewel took a step closer and grabbed Chelsey chin her perfectly manicured claws - sorry, I mean hands. I could hear Gerad suck in a breath behind me. I looked behind me. His teeth were gritted and his fists were clenched so tightly, the white on his knuckles showed.

"Why don't you go back to the Palace to mop the floors?" Lady Jewel continued. "I mean, that's where you really belong." Lady Jewel tightened her sharp grip on Chelsey. I could tell it was painful because Chelsey grimaced.

That was it. How did she even get here? Was she even allowed in the Fadaye house?

I was about to storm forward and give that woman a piece of my mind, but Gerad took action before I did. He ran out from behind the wall, asking, "What's going on here?" The training for becoming a guard had been good for him - he looked tall, noble, and strict. I almost laughed, if not for the dire situation. I quickly followed him, but neither he nor Lady Jewel noticed me. Only Chelsey cast me a glance, her eyes wide.

Lady Jewel yanked her hand from Chelsey quickly, and Chelsey took a step away, rubbing her chin and glaring at Lady Jewel. She ignored Chelsey, though, because she was too busy looking Gerad up and down. She must've liked what she saw, because she pouted, her eyes wide. "Oh, sweetie, would you please escort this back to the Palace?" She smiled sweetly. "She's bothering me."

Gerad scowled. I didn't know how Lady Jewel kept up her confident act, because even from here I could tell he was very, very angry. "If I heard correctly, this lady was invited here." Gerad put an arm around Chelsey's shoulders. He was nearly a foot taller and dwarfed Chelsey's petite frame, and that made me smile - almost.

"Well, I, um, darling..." Lady Jewel laughed nervously under Gerad's glare, drawling out the sweet nickname with a fluttering of her eyelashes. But before she could make an excuse, a familiar click of heels echoed in the hallway. Click, click, click, a slight pause, click, and clack. That pattern and pause was all too familiar. Valleree's boots made that same noise.

"Chelsey, are you okay?" I hurried over to my friend in the silence. Gerad quickly got out of my way, but it seemed Chelsey was fine. She was looking at Lady Jewel angrily - so bright and fiery, in fact, that I took a step back. I realized the only reason Chelsey wasn't talking back to Jewel was because of her caste - she was still lower than Lady Jewel, even if she didn't like it. Anger erupted inside me. It was because of the castes that my friend was hurt - and of course other people were hurt and mistreated every day outside of the Palace. It just wasn't fair.

Lady Jewel sneered at me. She hadn't been impressed by my entrance, but she was impressed with someone else's. Her smug expression was wiped off completely, and she paled as Valleree entered the small inside garden.

"Jewel! What are you doing? Are you out of your mind?!" Valleree barked. I whipped my head around to see her rolling up her sleeves on her olive green jumpsuit.

Jewel clenched her teeth and lifted up her chin. She pasted a bright smile on her face. "Ah, it's so nice to see you again, Lady Valleree." She replied sweetly. Her face looked so friendly, but I knew that was just a cover, hiding her real self from the world.

"Don't you dare try to act all sweet to get out this. I'm not fooled that easy." Valleree spat, moving in front of me, Chelsey, and Gerad. "You know we're not strangers to each other, but we're closer to being strangers then friends." Her words chilled me. I shuddered lightly after hearing Valleree spit out such harsh comments. Lady Jewel simply gasped sarcastically.

"Oh, of course. You're still aware I'm engaged to your cousin, right?" She asked. Her singsong tone in her voice rang in my ears.

I frowned. Even I knew that Derrick called off their engagement after being stationed back at the Palace. Only recently did he return, but it seemed like he had no intention of getting back together with Lady Jewel.

I didn't blame him.

"America, who are these people?" Gerad called out from behind. Valleree slowly turned her head, and surprisingly, so did Lady Jewel. Her eyes glinted in a dangerous way when she saw my brother. It made my skin crawl, so I looked to my brother sternly before Lady Jewel could say anything.

"Gerad, why don't you take Chelsey back inside?" I said.

He hesitated. "Are you sure?" he asked me in a low voice, but he was already grabbing Chelsey's hand. She wasn't saying no, either - I could tell she was shaken up after being energized by her anger, and so she was grateful for my brother's support. I nodded, and he gently guided Chelsey away.

As soon as she and Gerad left, Lady Jewel seemed have to immediately stripped off her "angel" personality. Her eyes shone with hatred. "Val, what did you expect? That I'd stay away from Derrick forever? You must be joking." She purred.

"My cousin already called off the marriage, why are you still wearing that ring?" Valleree asked angrily. She pointed towards the door. "You can't force him to marry you, Jewel," her voice was quieter, but I could hear a steely edge in her voice. "Now, go away, because if you don't, I swear I will call the Royal Guard on you," Valleree threatened. While I wanted Jewel to leave more than anything at the moment, I couldn't help but imagine if the Royal Guard did come. That would be really funny, I was sure. I tried to imagine what kind of excuses Jewel would make.

"No need to take such drastic measures, Valleree," Lady Jewel said smoothly. "It doesn't really matter, anyway," she said dismissively, waving her hand. "One day, when I marry your beloved cousin, this house will be mine too." She cooed.

Valleree scowled. "In the deed, it states that it belongs to the Fadaye Family. And when my parents die, I inherit the house. Besides," Valleree narrowed her eyes, "You are not a Fadaye, Jewel. And you never will be. Therefore, it will never be yours."

Lady Jewel scoffed. "Derrick is weak." She smirked, her lips pouted. "With just a few sweet words, I'll have him crawling back to me, and I'll welcome him with open arms."

Valleree took a few steps closer to Jewel, her finger in the lady's face. "Don't you dare threaten my cousin like that," she snarled. "We may have a rough relationship, but I will always protect my family."

Lady Jewel just smirked. "Do what you will," she smirked. "But I will always win." And with that, she swished out the garden and out towards the door.

END OF CHAPTER NINETEEN


	21. Pieces in Place

**ANNOUNCEMENTS:**

 **1\. School is almost over so I will be updating more frequently (but we're nearing the end, folks)!**

 **2\. If you're on instagram or google plus, I made fan accounts (same username as here)! I post my art and notifications when I post/update a story. Just wanted to let you know.**

 **Okay, done now. Love you all, and I hope you enjoy. :)**

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty**

Once she had left, I approached Valleree. Her body was slumped.

"Are you okay?" I murmured. I reached out to give her a hug.

She straightened, pulling away from me. My hands fell to my sides. "I'm fine," she said stiffly. "It just _really_ drains my energy when I have to do everything I can so I _don't_ scratch out her stupid eyes and pull out her stupid _fake_ hair."

I laughed lightly, but I was still a little shaken up. Why had Lady Jewel even been here? Why had she been so mad, and why was she so angry about leaving? All of this was giving me an uneasy feeling, but I tried to push it away.

"So you weren't exaggerating when you told me how horrible she is," I said to Valleree as we head back into the main house, looking to find Gerad and Chelsey.

Valleree snorted. "You thought I was exaggerating? Well, as you can see, I wasn't. Gosh, vampires and zombies could take lessons from her." She scowled. "If she shows up at the Palace or here again, I swear I'm going to sound the alarm," Valleree pledged. " _Oh, no, Lady Jewel is here! Get the guards! Protect the king! Shield the children from her horrible face full of cakey makeup!"_

I laughed again, but this time it was genuine. Valleree always has a way of cheering me up.

"Why are you here?" She asked me.

I wanted to say that I missed all of them, and that I've been so lonely, and I miss Maxon so much. I wanted to to tell her how I was worried about my brother, and I didn't want another person I loved to leave me. I wanted to say that I felt like everyone was slowly drifting away from me - all my friends were out and about, traveling, Maxon was in another country, and I could feel Queen Amberly starting to give up. She was so tired, and I was just beginning to feel close to her…

Instead, I just shrugged. "My brother wanted to have a look around."

"Your brother?" Valleree's eyes were wide as we climbed up the grand staircase. "That guard was your brother?" She laughed. "He's grown a lot, America. Or at least he sounded a lot younger in your stories."

I shook my head, hiding a smile. "Yeah, I suppose he is getting big now."

"Big? He's nearly a foot taller than Chelsey," Valleree chuckled, then paused. "Speaking of Chelsey…" She smirked. "Don't tell me you didn't notice the googly eyes he had when he looked at her." She raised her eyebrows. "He's not going to break Chelsey's heart, is he?" Valleree too, had heard stories of my brother's many, many, girlfriends. I had no idea how Gerad had gotten any of them to date him, but he was never happy with them. He broke up with every single one of them.

I shrugged. "I'd be more worried about Chelsey breaking his heart. I've never seen him so infatuated. And so quickly too…"

Valleree sighed. "There's so much drama. You'd think, after awhile, that things would calm down…" She smiled. "I guess there's no hope for that, huh?"

I smiled slyly. "With you around, there's never going to be any hope of peace."

Valleree swatted at me, but I ducked. We were laughing as we entered Chelsey's honorary bedroom - she didn't live here, but we fondly called it hers.

We both stopped laughing when we entered and saw the scene before us. Gerad was sitting hesitantly on the bed, staring at Chelsey while she paced the floor. She was muttering words that were not very kind to Jewel, but she stopped and looked up when we came in. Her eyes were rimmed with red from tears, but from her face she just looked mad. Her face softened when she saw us.

"Hey," she greeted. "Gerad helped me unpack," she said, pointing to the dresser.

Valleree went to give Chelsey a hug, so I sat on the couch with Gerad. As Chelsey and Valleree talked, I turned to Gerad.

"Was she shaken up?" I asked in a low voice.

Gerad shook his head with a small smile. "More angry than upset. She didn't have many kind words for Lady Jewel." I giggled. Gerad paused. "Although she did start crying when I offered to help her unpack." His brow furrowed. "Girls are weird," he muttered.

I smiled, elbowing him. "You'd think you would've picked up on that by now."

Gerad smirked. "Don't worry, I still think you're the weirdest of them all," he shot back.

Before I could respond snarkily, Valleree came up to me. "Wanna stay the night? It'll be you, me, and Chelsey."

I nodded. "Sure. But I'll need to go pack and assign someone to takeover Mallory's break from Prince Chase."

Valleree asked, "You still watch Prince Chase?"

I nodded. "It's boring without you guys there," I admitted. "I needed something to do."

"Besides being head of all the maids in the entire Palace?" Valleree said with raised brow. "I think you're just missing Maxon."

Gerad stood up. "Why would America miss Maxon?" He asked with a frown. "She's the Prince's nanny."

Valleree's eyes widened, realizing her slip up. "Well, they work together a lot. And Maxon's been gone awhile. We all miss him." She nudged Chelsey, who grimaced. "Right Chelsey?"

"Uh, yeah. Sure."

Gerad was doubtful, but he just shook his head. "Okay, fine. You're not telling me, but I'll find out." He smirked at me. "I'll always find out."

I scrunched up my nose. "Whatever. Now you're just being creepy." I looked to Valleree. "I'll just go assign someone to replace me as Chase's nanny for tonight and then I'll be back."

"I'll go for you," Chelsey offered. "I am Head Maid after all, now that I'm back." She smiled. "Now you can go back to being Chase's full time Nanny." I opened my mouth to refuse, but she insisted. "No, really, I'll go. I have some friends I want to see anyway."

Valleree gasped dramatically. "You have other friends besides us?"

Chelsey laughed. "Yep. Unlike you, I have a life."

I laughed with her, but Valleree pouted.

"You guys are so mean," she complained. "That hurt my soul."

We laughed again, and then Chelsey grabbed her small bag. "I'll be right back."

"I'll go with you," Gerad, who had been silent, suddenly stepped forward. His eyes were bright with eagerness. Valleree shot me an amused look. "I think my break is done."

I looked at him. "You told me you haven't started actual work yet."

Gerad narrowed his eyes at me. "Well I'm sure my supervisor will want me back."

Chelsey smiled, oblivious to Gerad's obvious flirtatious endeavours. "Sure, you can come." She headed out, and Gerad followed after her, but not before shooting me an angry look.

Once they had gone, Valleree laughed. "He's gonna get you for that, Singer."

I shook my head, smiling. "He'll forget about it as soon as they start talking. His thoughts will be filled with Chelsey, Chelsey, and Chelsey."

"Well, I hope neither of them gets hurt." Valleree commented.

I sighed, thinking of my brother - practically my only sibling left. "Me too."

(ONE WEEK LATER)

Now that she had returned, Chelsey was back to running the maids' activity at the Palace, and I returned to my job as Chase's nanny. Chelsey let me keep Mallory as an assistant, so I spent more and more time with the blonde woman, and we soon became good friends.

I hadn't heard any news of Maxon coming back, but Veronikka wrote to Valleree, saying that she would return sometime that day! I was very excited, but I knew she would be leaving the next in two days. The only reason Lady Veronikka was allowed to come back was to work out some arrangements with Maxon's other advisors who had stayed at the Palace. At first, I was excited. I couldn't wait to see her again. But Veronikka never mentioned anything about Maxon coming back with her. Was he going to stay in New Asia? And if so, for how long?

I felt so selfish ignoring the return of my friend for someone else, but I couldn't help myself. I desperately wanted to see Maxon. I wanted to throw my arms around him and tell him how much I missed him. But I didn't dare send him a letter. I couldn't muster up the courage to do it, and besides, there was no point. As a maid, I couldn't send my own letter across the world. Unlike Valleree, whose high status allowed her all the information from Lady Veronikka, I didn't have the privilege. I almost asked Valleree to send it to Maxon under her name, but it felt too personal. I knew she would be happy to, but it made me feel uncomfortable every time I realized just how different we were. She was a Two; I was a Six. Even Chelsey, a fellow maid, was higher in status as Head Maid. They were still my best friends, I knew, but I was embarrassed. Sometimes the only person I felt comfortable with was Mallory. She didn't tell me much of her past, but she was content and happy - and she made me feel safe, and regular, like everything was fine.

I wished more than anything that everything was fine.

I knew Veronikka was coming around noon, so Valleree, Chelsey and I agreed to meet at the front entrance to greet her when she arrived. Keahnna had sent her love and apologies, but she was still away traveling.

As I left Chase with Mallory that morning, I hummed to myself, finally excited for something. My friend was coming back!"Do my ears deceive me, or is that the lullaby Mom would sing to us when we were little?"

I turned to the sound of voice and was met with the sight of my beaming brother.

He was right - that was the short little melody Mom would sing to us when we were kids. But instead of responding, I smacked him - hard - on the shoulder.

"Ow!" he complained, though I knew it didn't really hurt - he was nearly twice my size. "What was that for?"

"For not seeing me in a week." After surprising me a week ago at the bakery, I hadn't seen my little brother since. A nagging thought in the back of my mind thought that there was the tiniest chance that he was hurt. I hadn't worried too much since I assumed I would get a little warning, but I was disappointed I hadn't gotten to spend time with him. What was the point of him being here at the Palace with me if I never even saw him?

He sighed. "Yeah, sorry about that." He ran a hand through his hair, and in the corner of my eye I noticed a maid's eyes widening as she blushed when we passed. I rolled my eyes, but Gerad didn't even notice.

"Turns out I wasn't supposed to be off Palace grounds," he admitted guiltily, then shot me a look. "Or even out of training quarters, either. So, yeah, I basically got grounded. Thanks a lot for getting me in trouble," he finished, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

I smiled, batting my lashes. "You're very welcome."

He scoffed, and I laughed. "You couldn't have gotten grounded that long," I commented to him. "What's the real reason I haven't seen you?" I pressured teasingly.

He eyed me, his brows creased. "How'd you know there was something else?" he asked in wonderment, but suspiciously.

"Know what?"

Looking around, Gerad quickly grabbed my arm and pulled me to the side, out of the way.

"What's the big secret?" I asked in bewilderment.

He shrugged. "It's not that big of a deal, but I'm pretty sure I'm not supposed to be telling you this." He shot me a smile. "I've been stationed as a guard at the Palace, y'know, but I've been doing actual work outside of Palace grounds. They've needed backup in citizens' areas," he said in a low voice.

My eyes widened. "For what?"Gerad's mouth formed a grim line. "They're called raiders. They attack citizens - whoever they want to - and steal personal items from them. After knocking them out." My younger brother winced. "There's been so many attacks, the city's needed more security."

I sighed. "That's horrible. Have you caught them all?"

Gerad shrugged. "It's really hard. They're just regular people, America." His brow creased. "They blend in, and usually they're from lower castes. It's hard to tell them apart, since they're usually pretty dirty and dressed in rags… Not to mention the lower castes have the largest population, making it difficult to choose specific people in a big city." He frowned. "I caught a careless one of them, when I was undercover." I almost laughed, thinking of my little brother working undercover, but his grim face kept me grounded. This was serious.

"The person I caught was a Seven, I think," he thought to himself, "and she looked starved - like really hungry. Her eyes were all big and wide, and…" Gerad shook his head. "Raiders are cruel, but they're not like the rebels. The rebels have more support, and money. Raiders just want a better life - they're desperate." His voice had sympathy, and I looked at him with concern.

"Is this why you hate the monarchy now?" I accused.

Gerad shushed me, his eyes wide. "OK, first of all, I never said I hate the monarchy," he whispered. "Second, keep your voice down." He sighed. "And third… well, you can understand why these people would be unhappy, America, can't you? We were always complaining when we were little."

I swallowed. "We acted like selfish brats, Gerad. It might've been hard, but others had it harder."

My little brother gave a small sad smile. "Exactly. Can you imagine how desperate those people are to attack and steal? Sometimes kidnap?" He shook his head. "It's horrible." He saw my upset face. "I'm not going to become a rebel, America." He told me quickly. "I couldn't put you and Mom through that. Not after everything." He shrugged. "Illea's not perfect, but I think it's better than the chaos of no castes."

I didn't agree with that, but I was deeply relieved that he wasn't planning to run off and join the rebels. I couldn't handle that. Like he said, it would be too much after everything that had happened.

But still, I was conflicted - I saw both sides of the argument if I was honest. A couple years ago, if someone asked me if the monarchy could use some improving, I would have said yes, definitely. And while they could definitely use some improving now, with all that was happening, I didn't blame the monarchy as much as I did the people. Yes, the monarchy suppressed people and shut them into little boxes of containment, and that was wrong, but Maxon, at least, thought that was the best that could be it, though? I asked myself. You know how hard it is as a Five, and a Six - imagine how hard it is for a Seven or Eight. Surely anything could be better than nothing.

Shaking my head slightly to clear my thoughts, I looked to my younger brother with a small smile. "You have a lot of perspective," I commented. "But everything is really confusing, Gerad."

He smiled. "That's life, though - we may seem like we have everything under control, but one thing can shake up our whole world."

"When did you get so smart?" I teased.

He laughed and winked. "All that time I resisted art when I was little, I was either kicking a ball around or reading." His smile lessened slightly.

"You're still not as happy as you could be, are you?" I asked softly.

"No. But I'm happy enough." He smiled, and gave me a quick hug. "I've got to go, America. But I have a break later today, so I'll talk to you later."

I smiled, an idea springing into my mind. "Why don't you ask Chelsey to go on a walk or something?"

Gerad's eyes widened, but I could see the hopefulness. "Do you think she'd like to?"

"I'm sure she'd be happy too. Just ask later," I advised with a smile. "We're going to see Veronikka arrive, and probably have lunch or something."

He nodded, and quickly pecked the top of my head. "Thanks, Ames. See you later." He waved good-bye and he went down the hallway, and I turned the other way and I headed to the front of the Palace.

Veronikka was about to arrive.

* * *

Commotion was already spreading through the Palace, and it wasn't even noon yet. Maids and butlers waited at the front entrance of the Palace. Some looked out through windows, and others stood right outside.

I met up with Valleree and Chelsey, and then, with them at my heels, quickly pushed my way to the front - the top of the marble steps at the entrance to the Palace. There was a driveway at the bottom of the steps, and that was where everyone expected Veronikka's RGT vehicle to pull up.

"Why is everyone so eager to see Lady Veronikka?" I asked in confusion to my two friends once we had gotten to the front. At least twenty to thirty people were lingering at the top of the steps. Most of the crowd, too, were maids and butlers, which surprised me.

Chelsey smiled. "There hasn't been this much excitement since they left. People miss it," she shrugged. "Plus, Veronikka's a people's person. Almost everyone knows her."

Valleree nodded as I mulled that over. "Yeah, remember how I told you how she tries to remember everyone's names?" she laughed, looking over at Chelsey. "Hey, remember that one time-" Before she could recount what funny thing had happened, the crowd stopped its chattering and some began to clap.

An expensive car was pulling up in front of the Palace. Chelsey clapped and Valleree whooped as the chauffeur came out and around the car to open the door. Veronikka came out with a gracious smile, but as her friend I could recognize the exhaustion in her eyes. With a deep breath, she looked up at the bright blue sky - it was a pretty day in Angeles, as usual - and smiled.

I watched as another woman stepped out of the car, with a guard by her side. At first I thought the petite woman was someone from New Asia, just because of her petite, pretty, and fair looks. Then I recognized the face as someone I had seen around the Palace, and realized it was Sofya, another advisor who had accompanied King Maxon because she had roots in New Asia.

Veronikka caught my eye again. She was waving at the people at the top of the steps, and saw me and our friends. Her smile brightened. I grinned back as her chauffeur, holding two suitcases himself, handed Veronikka her handbag.

She quickly turned to him and with a quick smile began conversing with him, probably saying thank you for the ride, and other nice things I probably wouldn't bother saying if I was her (if I'm being honest… I mean, I'd probably dash up the stairs to my friends immediately).

"Why are waiting up here?" Valleree scoffed. "Let's go meet her!" With that, she bolted down the steps.

Chelsey and I exchanged a look, smiled, shrugged, and then followed Valleree's lead. With my longer legs, I was faster than Chelsey, and I was so excited that I skipped three steps and nearly fell on my face.

"Veronikka!" I called out as she turned away from talking with the chauffeur. Her eyes lit up again when she saw Valleree, Chelsey, and me.

Her eyes glistened as she gave us each a hug. "Oh, I missed you all so much! You have no idea!" She squealed. I smiled and returned her hug. Her hugs were always warm and fuzzy - I felt better already.

She introduced Sofya to me, even though I already knew her. Sofya seemed nice, but she quickly excused herself to go greet some other friends.

I looked around to see if anyone else had come. I didn't admit it to myself, but I hoped Maxon was here. He wasn't of course. Or else Veronikka would've told me. I told myself not to think about it, but, lo and behold, the unbearable thought that had been buried deep inside resurfaced now. Maxon wouldn't be coming back anytime soon. And if he was coming back, a part of me worried. New Asia was dangerous. They weren't our enemies anymore, but they weren't our friends either. What if something happened? What Maxon wasn't allowed to leave? Or what if New Asia will pressure Maxon into making a treaty that's not good for Illea?

My most worrisome fear - even if a bit selfish - is that Maxon will have changed. I sometimes can't sleep at night I when I think that Maxon may come back and have realized he doesn't love me. Maybe I've changed too much for him. What if our relationship falls apart again, just like it's done before? What if I don't get happily ever after?

And then I think, maybe I don't deserve a happily ever after. Maybe Maxon and I - together - just isn't meant to be. He's the king, I'm a maid. How on Earth could that pairing possibly work out, or even be allowed?

I was shaken out of my thoughts when I realized Veronikka was talking. "Doesn't that sound like fun?" she asked cheerfully.

Valleree and Chelsey nodded along, but I just stared. "Uh, sure," I said awkwardly, feeling bad that I hadn't been listening to my friend after she had been gone for months.

Veronikka just laughed. "I missed you," she said fondly. "And you have to tell me everything about the ball, and what's happened since, and oh," she sighed. "That's why we're going on a picnic." She clapped her hands.

Chelsey nodded. "I'm going to ask a couple chefs to pack us a lunch."

Veronikka nodded, and said, "I think I'm going to unpack."

Valleree offered her help, but I excused myself to go find Mallory and tell her I would need a longer break. I was sure she wouldn't mind. We all promised to be ready to meet in half an hour.

END OF CHAPTER TWENTY


	22. Calm Before the Storm

**Chapter Twenty One - Calm Before the Storm**

Veronikka led us to this clearing in the woods. It was just off a small path. If I looked carefully through the branches, I could still see the Palace, less than a mile away. The clearing had soft, green grass and plenty of space to sit down. Sunlight streamed in through holes in the trees, giving it to a peaceful, warm light. I even heard the sound of soft flowing stream distantly. Overall, it was a very pretty spot.

Valleree spread out a blanket and Chelsey unpacked the food, and we all dug in. I caught up Veronikka with all the details of the night of the ball, even adding in a couple extra juicy parts so Valleree and Chelsey would stay entertained. Veronikka was very enthusiastic, and it was nice to recount the happy, loving moment Maxon and I had experienced.

But it still hurt.

I left out the parts of having to prove myself, and the anger and hurt I felt when he only sent that little note. Veronikka didn't ask about the note, either, even though she was the one to give it to me. Maxon must've sworn her to secrecy or something.

After, I finished, Veronikka laughed breathlessly. "Wow. A lot has happened."

"Most of it happened when you were there," Valleree pointed out.

Veronikka brushed off the crumbs in her lap. "I haven't heard it till now though."

There was a pause in the conversation. I listened to the chirping birds, the swishing of the trees, and the babbling sounds of the stream. It was all so peaceful. Surrounded by friends, I felt like I could stay here forever.

"What was that?" Chelsey asked, concerned. We all looked to her.

"What was what?" Valleree looked around.

Chelsey frowned. "Oh, nothing, sorry. I just thought I saw something over there." She pointed over to a bush and cluster of trees, but I didn't see anything. She shook her head with a smile. "Sorry for disturbing the peace. That was nice."

Veronikka flopped back onto her back with a sigh. "It was nice, wasn't it?" She said, yawning. "I'm so tired."

"We can tell." Valleree threw a grape at her face with a laugh.

"It's just so exhausting," Veronikka complained as she grabbed the grape and popped it in her mouth. "All the work, the worry, the danger…"

My eyes widened. "You guys are in _danger_?" I squeaked. I was overcome by a wave of worry for Maxon, who was practically _alone_ in New Asia - besides his many guards, but I wasn't thinking very clearly at that point.

"No no no no," Veronikka protested with a wince as she sat up. "That was the wrong thing to say." She paused. "It's just… in New Asia they have less security. It's more rural, and the ruins of the old cities are just chaotic. Took some getting used to, that's all."

My brow creased. I was still worried. What was she not telling me?

"I swear I just saw something," Chelsey suddenly said, her eyes wide. We followed her gaze, but the rest of saw nothing. She sighed.

"I'm going _crazy_ ," she whined, rubbing her eyes.

"I could've told you that years ago," Valleree snickered, and Chelsey threw a bunch of grapes at her. Valleree caught them in her mouth and laughed as she chewed.

"You're gross," Veronikka commented as she cleaned up some of our mess. I just laughed.

"Are you going to announce any news to the public?" I asked Veronikka. "They're very… anxious."

She sighed. "Valleree may do a broadcast, and I may just update everyone on Maxon's safety and success and all that."

Valleree raised an eyebrow. "Is it really going successfully?"

Veronikka shrugged and took a bit out of a juicy strawberry. "It could be going better, but I'm not telling the public that." Veronikka looked guilty as she licked her stained red lips.

"Everyone missed you," Chelsey told her warmly, deciding to change the topic. "You were gone so long. Did you _see_ the crowd gathering to greet you?"

Veronikka giggled. "I bet I missed everyone else more. It was really hard being in a place you know nothing about." Her eyes widened. "I mean, I have ancestors from New Asia, but I didn't know the food, the language, the culture, or anything."

"I felt that way when I came to the Palace at first," I laughed. "In fact, I still feel that way sometimes. From being a maid, to the Prince's nanny, and now meeting all you guys…" I shrugged and smiled. "Everything's changing so quickly."

Valleree and Chelsey nodded in agreement, but Veronikka sighed and looked in the direction of the Palace.

"I think we'd better start going, girls," she told us and stood up. The rest of us stood up too, and Chelsey started folding the blanket as Veronikka and Valleree stuffed the last remnants of food back inside our basket.

"I didn't tell anyone we were going." Veronikka said with a laugh. "Well, besides my guard Jeremy. But I'm pretty sure he's taking a nap now."

We all laughed. "Wow, doing something by ourselves for a change?" Chelsey said as I started walking down the path again, with them following behind me. "How rebellious."

"We deserve it," Veronikka insisted. "We've all been working so hard."

I smiled. "Well, it was the only way to distract me from everything," I commented sadly, even if it was the truth. My friends gave me sympathetic looks, but I just smiled softly.

"I'm glad I've got you guys, though," I told quietly. I grabbed Valleree and Veronikka's hands since they were next to me, and they each grabbed one of Chelsey's hands. The four of us stood in a small circle of friendship, letting the last rays of sun for that day wash over us. We all smiled warmly at each other, until Veronikka cried out, "Group hug!"

Laughing, we all flung our arms around each other and flopped back onto the grass.

We lay there together for a few minutes, and even though there would always be that ache in my heart because of Maxon, I knew, that with them by my side, it would get better.

 _(ooo)_

The next day, I headed to Queen Amberly's room with Chase. I hadn't seen her in a week, and I wanted to check up on her. Maybe I just wanted to be with someone - I was more lonely than anything, but I did care about the Queen. She and Chase were all I had left of Maxon, at least until he returned. And it made me proud to know that I was friends with Queen Amberly - she was a beautiful, kind woman, who was loved by almost everyone. It was a shame she was all alone, without her husband and child.

Usually it would be a little bit inappropriate for a Six like me to just show up to the Queen's room unplanned, but since I was the Prince's nanny, I had privileges. Besides, Chase loved his grandmother.

When I knocked, her voice actually called out to me. "Come in!" I heard her muffled voice say cheerfully.

Queen Amberly beamed at me when I entered. "America! I had a feeling you would come!" She was sitting up straight in her armchair, instead of her bed, which brightened my mood considerably. The window was open to let a breeze in, and it was nice and bright. Her smile, though, was the brightest thing in the room.

I approached her and gave her a small hug, kissing her cheek lightly. "Your suspicions are almost always right, My Queen. You're looking well." I sat down next to her as she closed her book and accepted her grandson from me.

She laughed and bounced Chase up and down in her lap. "The doctors said I was allowed to get out of bed. But they said no traveling outside of the Royal Chambers. Not that I want to," Queen Amberly smiled sweetly. "I'm just happy I can move around my room."

Seeing her so happy and doing so well made me happy too, and I grinned.

"So you're feeling better now?"

"Much. I practically feel as good as I did when I was eighty!" She joked. Of course she wasn't that old, but she always teased me that I was 'so young' and innocent and she was going to die soon.

I watched for a few minutes as Queen Amberly cooed and aahed at the little baby, who just babbled along, smiling. It was nice to see the Queen so relaxed and happy. However, I still knew the real reason I had come to her room. I had needed guidance from a mature fixture in my life, and Queen Amberly seemed like the perfect example. But now I felt awkward and out of place to talk to her about personal matters. I'd soon realized, after overhearing gossip in the servants' quarters, that my being close to Queen Amberly was slightly inappropriate. I didn't want to make her uncomfortable.

Fortunately for me, the empathic Queen seemed to sense my real intentions after a few minutes. She set Chase down on the ground to play with a small stuffed animal and turned to me. She folded her hands in her lap.

"So, my dear, how are you?" She asked with a smile.

I smiled, but still felt awkward to say anything too personal. "I'm doing very well, thank you." Then my stomach rumbled loudly. Queen Amberly just smiled warmly and offered me a plate of treats.

"Now, America, you really should take care of yourself!" She reprimanded teasingly, and I laughed for real this time. I could remember countless time I had reminded her of the same thing, and it seemed she could too.

I grabbed one of the cookies off the plate. "What is it?" I asked before I took a bite.

"Strawberry tarts. One of my favorites."

The taste and the smell hit me on full force, and it managed to remind me of _so_ much. May had tried one of these, I remembered, one of the days she'd been here at the Palace. She had loved them. Maxon and I had shared a box of the sweet tarts at the trip to the beach, and we laughed when a seagull almost snatched it out of our hands. Plus, I had been buying strawberry tarts when Gerad had surprised me and revealed he had been drafted.

I could feel tears starting to prick my eyes as grabbed a napkin and quickly spat out the cookie in a very un-ladylike manner. "I'm sorry," I apologized quickly, embarrassed. "I'm just…" I sighed. "It's been a really long week." I wiped my mouth delicately and took a sip of water when she offered me the cup, but I didn't try to eat the strawberry tart. I set it down, avoiding my Queen's eyes.

"I understand, my dear," Queen Amberly replied softly as she squeezed my hand.

"Now that Chelsey's gone, I won't be able to visit you as often. I'll have to return to Chase," I told her guiltily, finally saying what had been on my mind. But now that I was back full-time with Chase, I couldn't do it anymore. Even if I wanted to.

"Ah, Chasey could do with a few visits to his Grandma," Amberly laughed lightly as she glanced down at her grandson, and I smiled. "And besides, I'm feeling so good I might just visit you two myself!" I beamed larger when she laughed again. She seemed to be doing so well, and even though she wasn't my mom, I still felt a certain connection to her that was hard to explain. I looked up to her, and seeing her be so strong made me both embarrassed and resolute when I thought about Maxon. Queen Amberly had suffered through a spouse's death, a daughter-in-law's death, and now her only son was on the other side of the world. When I thought of what I was going through compared to what she had gone through and prevailed afterwards, I seemed petty.

"Veronikka came back today," I reminded her eagerly. She said she enjoyed it when I talked about my life, saying it reminded her of the good old days of drama and excitement. I would always protest, saying my life was boring and that her life as a Queen was much more interesting, but she always laughed. (Plus, I didn't really consider it to be 'good' that there was this much going on. Honestly, I was just exhausted.)

The Queen smiled. "Yes, I heard. Did she tell you how Maxon's doing?" The queen looked hopeful at this part, but I could only gape at her.

"You mean you don't know what's going on?" I asked incredulously. "But… you're the queen!"

"I was the queen," she corrected, but I still stared. How on Earth was it possible that Queen Amberly didn't know what her own son was doing in New Asia? Did she even know what was going on? Did she even have contact with Maxon? Was she as clueless and uninformed as I was?

Before I could ask any of these questions, Queen Amberly sighed and gave a sad smile.

"You're surprised I'm so uninformed," she guessed, and I nodded, trying to be respectful. "Well, America, you'll find that once you reach a certain age, or once you are considered not as important, that people tend to forget to inform you of certain matters. I have talked to Maxon, of course, but my son is busy, and there are private matters that cannot be written down in letters."

"Doesn't anyone think to tell you anything about what's happening here, though?"

Queen Amberly smiled. "I was getting to that, you impatient pumpkin," she laughed lightly. "People don't really pay attention to me anymore, my dear," she explained. "My doctors visit me, and sometimes some ladies of the court, but I don't appear in public anymore. Truthfully," she gave a small laugh, "I think most people believe me to be dead already."

I laughed with her, but the thought saddened me. How could someone so loved, and known, and looked up to faded away? How could she be so lonely? Queen Amberly seemed very gracious and content with it, but I felt bad for her. Didn't she miss the adoring fans, and the life of luxury? I suppose she still had the luxury, but what was the point of having materialistic possessions if you were alone?

I thought on that for a minute. "But… you do know some stuff, right?" I asked in confusion. The wheels in my head were turning. How often did Queen Amberly have someone in her room? Was I only the real company she had? How did she stay informed?

"Of course I am informed," Queen Amberly sniffed, and I bit my lip, afraid I had insulted her. "I am still consulted for matters of politics, and with Maxon gone, I've had to approve of many of his remaining advisors' decisions for the country. And I watch the news," she added.

"So you know about the Raiders, then?" I blurted out, and then bit my lip, regretting it immediately. As a maid, we did not usually get to watch the news or exit the palace often, so it was suspicious that I knew about the Raiders.

Queen Amberly raised an eyebrow, but she was still smiling. "Of course." She did not ask how I did, because she was too polite to. "But the Public is already stressed enough, knowing that the Rebels still attack the Palace often, and that their king is in an enemy country." She looked out the window. "I do not think it would be right to worry them further about people who could very well be their next-door-neighbors." Queen Amberly's voice had taken on a worn, hard tone. I was immediately quieted by her words, even though I wondered how keeping the people clueless was good for them.

Chase caused a fortunate distraction when he suddenly cried out. We both looked to him, but nothing was wrong. He just grinned at us, and we both laughed at the little boy.

I looked over at Queen Amberly, who was now glancing out the window. The sun streaming in through the window caught on something small around her neck. I leaned forward, entranced. I had never noticed that necklace before.

"Your necklace is so beautiful," I commented, awed. Queen Amberly smiled.

"It's been passed on through my husband's family for generations," she recounted fondly. "My late husband Clarkson gifted it to me, and Maxon gave it to Queen Kriss, but it is centuries old."

"It looks so new!" The necklace, which was a simple diamond pendant on a silver chain, glittered brightly. It was hard to believe it was so old.

"It is rarely actually worn. More of a sentimental and celebratory value," she reached up gently to skim her fingers over the pendant.

"... So you had to take it back when Her Majesty died?" I questioned hesitantly, but Queen Amberly just nodded.

"I'm afraid I will have to hold on to this for awhile. It is significant that the mother of the prince gives it to her son before or during his selection, to then give to his chosen loved one, but I worry I will not be alive to give it to Chase in time," she joked with a wink, and I forced a laugh.

"Don't be silly, you're completely healthy!" I insisted, still staring at the enchanting necklace.

"For now," she said breezily, and I suppressed a wince at her lightness on the subject. "Perhaps you shall give it to him for me," she commented. My eyes widened, and I could not say anything. "After all, you are his nanny, and I assume you plan on remaining a significant person in the palace and in the Royal family's life?" She raised an eyebrow at me with a small smile.

I gulped. Was she saying what I thought she was saying? Well, it didn't matter. The fact that she thought of me - even if we were half-joking - was touching.

"Don't you think Maxon will want to give it to him?" I asked.

She smiled lightly. "It may be hard for him to remember a silly little family tradition. And if he does, I don't know if he would be able to handle giving it to Chase instead of Kriss. So, please, America." She reached out and touched my hand. The mood turned more serious. "If something does happen, make sure Chase gets it." The young heir made a cooing sound at his name, and Queen Amberly smiled. "I want the lucky girl he chooses at his Selection to feel as welcomed into royalty as every other queen of Illea has in the past - including me."

My throat tightened. This was such a huge honor. Why would she ask me, and not a trusted official? Still, I couldn't refuse. "Of course. I'll make sure he gets it in time for his Selection," I said softly, trying to say it lightly so it seemed sort of joking-like, but the warm smile she gave me seemed very, very real.

Queen Amberly's hand hovered over the necklace before she set her hand down on the book next to her.

"What are you reading?" I asked.

She showed me her book with a bright smile. "Classic fairy tales. They're hundreds, almost thousands of years old."

I stared at it, and she held it out to me. The cover was very worn, and some of the pages were all ruffled and torn on the edges, but it was still beautiful. The antique-ness enchanted me.

"Would you like me to read it to you and Chase?" Queen Amberly offered. "He seems ready for a nap."

I beamed. At this rate, with her positive attitude and obvious improvement, Queen Amberly would - I hoped - be back to her normal state from before long.

"I would like nothing more, My Queen." I picked up Chase and nestled him into my lap comfortably.

His grandmother opened the book slowly, a light smile on her face, and started reading.

I was immediately enchanted. Her sweet voice managed to delicately weave the words so that they sounded so… magical. I'd heard some of the tales before, but nothing like this. The stories were detailed, and talked about people and things and magic that filled me with excitement.

I wrapped my arms tightly around the little Prince and closed my eyes as I nestled into the soft armchair.

For the first time in a _very_ very long time - possibly since before Aspen had died - , I felt like I was finally at peace.


	23. A Mother's Love

**Chapter Twenty Two**

I didn't get to visit the Queen for a couple weeks, but I made sure to ask the doctors in the infirmary how she was doing. It always cheered me up to hear about how she was improving tremendously.

My busy schedule with the Prince was both entertaining and exhausting. Chase Jackson Schreave kept me on my toes and managed to distract me. And there was quite a lot to distract from.

It was shocking to watch as Gerad continued to attempt to get close to Chelsey. What was even more shocking was that Chelsey didn't even notice! In fact, she seemed to enjoy my brother's company, which was even more confusing.

Valleree and Veronikka continued to make me laugh and stay positive. There was some sort of tension between Valleree and Keahnna, who had returned after her trip, but we mainly ignored it. My life was enjoyable - I had a wonderful job taking care of a wonderful boy, and I had wonderful friends who I loved.

Of course, there was one thing missing. I continued to feel the absence of Maxon weighing on me - as did everyone in the palace. There was rarely any news back, and eventually after a couple weeks Veronikka had to return to Maxon in New Asia.

We had all known that it would happen eventually since Maxon needed his advisors' help, but I think all of my friends - and especially me - hoped that they would be able to solve the problem without her help. We hoped she wouldn't have to leave, but it was even more crushing that Maxon wasn't returning any time soon.

The day before Veronikka was scheduled to leave, I decided that I wanted to see Queen Amberly again. She was always so soothing and calm, and I was feeling very anxious about my friend leaving.

As I reached the staircase leading up to the Royal Chambers, my gaze lingered on the portraits posted on the large wall. A thin, dark curtain covered the portrait with the late Queen Kriss, a change from the last time I had really looked at the entryway. Now, there was also a painting of King Maxon with Prince Chase. Looking at it brought bad memories. The sketch had been done by May before she had been killed, and another painter had painted it fully. I could still recognize her style and her emotion through the drawing, though, and that was probably one of the reasons she had been so popular.

It brought tears to my eyes thinking of my sister, who I had never really paused to think about before. It'd been too painful. She'd been so talented, and bright, and _beautiful_. She hadn't deserved to die.

"America!"

I was jolted out of my thoughts as Keahnna called out to me. She was racing down the stairs from where her room was in the Royal Chambers. She seemed very frazzled, and I stared at her in confusion.

"What's the rush?" I asked.

"The rush?!" She slipped on the last step and I reached out to help her regain her balance, but she grabbed my hand first and began pulling me down the hallway toward the front of the Palace. "Veronikka's leaving! I thought I was the only late one!"

My eyes widened as I jogged to keep up with her. "What? Veronikka's leaving tomorrow!"

Keahnna shook her head. "No, it's today. Chelsey reminded me this morning, but I forgot," she shook her head at herself as she hurried down the hallway. "Why else do you think the hallways are so empty? Everyone's gone to see her off!"

I glanced around, feeling ashamed when I realized that she was right. I could've missed Veronikka leaving! I couldn't believe I was so forgetful!

"What were you doing near the Royal Chambers?" Keahnna asked breathlessly.

I shrugged as we turned a corner and was met with the sight of the large entrance hallway, where a crowd of people was near the front of the Palace looking out into the front garden. "I was just going to see Queen Amberly, but it's fine, I can see her later."

We reached the front and pushed our way through the front of the crowd. For a moment I worried that maybe she had already left, but I was relieved when I spotted them at the bottom of the staircase. Chelsey and Valleree stood next to the Lady Veronikka, whose lips were pursed worriedly. I could tell they had been waiting awhile because her guard was standing close to her, and the car was running.

I bolted down the stairs with Keahnna at my heels. I reached them out of breath. Upon me reaching them, Cheley and Veronikka both looked relieved, but Valleree looked slightly annoyed. I bit my lip and looked apologetically at her, but I realized she wasn't even looking at me. Instead, her slight glare was pointed at Keahnna, who was grinning brightly at Veronikka she immediately went in for a hug.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here, I thought you were leaving tomorrow," I explained, but Veronikka just smiled and pulled me in for a hug.

"Not me," Keahnna laughed. "I'm just forgetful, sorry." We all smiled at each other, and I couldn't help it when I teared up a bit. Veronikka hugged me again, but held me close this time.

"No letter for Maxon?" she whispered in my ear. My heart sunk as I pulled away.

I could feel tears forming in my eyes. "I forgot." I said hoarsely, and even though it sounded slightly insincere, Veronikka could tell I was devastated I had forgotten to give Veronikka the letter she was supposed to relay to Maxon. After much encouragement from my friends, I had planned to write a letter to Maxon asking him to write back and explaining how I've missed him. I had put it off until tonight because I had _thought_ Veronikka was leaving tomorrow, but now… I couldn't just _mail_ it to him. I had no authority to do so. I had a chance, and I had lost it.

Veronikka squeezed my hands tightly, giving me a sympathetic smile. Chelsey cried out, "Group hug!" and we all squished together, a mix of tears and laughter.

Finally, it was time for Lady Veronikka to go. She slung her bag higher on her shoulders and beamed at us, telling us that we would see her _really_ soon - which was wishful thinking, but I tried to believe her - and quickly waved at the crowd that had gathered to say goodbye to her.

Then, after she blew us a kiss and a wink, she hopped into the limousine and was gone. It was almost too easy, too fast. Too simple to express what saying goodbye felt like. It felt like I was saying goodbye to a chance with Maxon, because when was he returning?

I didn't know.

(ooo)

When I returned after my short break to see off Lady Veronikka (even though it had originally been to see Queen Amberly), I found Marlee playing with a happy Chase.

I smiled and settled down on the floor next to her and Chase (even though the baby heir had his own gigantic playpen, he preferred playing with us on the ground - and we kinda liked it too).

"How was Her Majesty?" Mallory asked me with a smile. "Doing well, I hope?"

I let out a breathy laugh as Chase grabbed hold of my finger. "Turns out Veronikka was leaving today, not tomorrow. I forgot," I added, though it wasn't needed. "Didn't get a chance to see Queen Amberly after all."

Mallory gave me a small smile. She looked like she was about to say something, but suddenly, the door flew open. Chelsey, her face pale and her hair a mess, ran in. Tears streaked her face.

I immediately stood up. Something was wrong. Mallory stood as well and put a squirmy Chase into his playpen.

Chelsey hurried towards me and rushed into my arms, bursting into tears as she hugged me tightly. I stood there frozen. What had happened? I was too shocked to think.

"Chelsey, Chelsey," I said quickly, prying her away from me. It was horrible to see my friend to distressed, especially since it was Chelsey, who was usually so put together. "What happened?"

She looked up, still crying, and muttered. "Death, death, there's too much death!"

She started crying harder. My blood felt frozen as I shook her again. "Chelsey! Who died?" My voice was raised and panicked but I couldn't think. _Who had died_? Valleree? Veronikka? Keahnna? Maxon?

Chelsey seemed to jolted out of her panic for a second as she stopped crying as hard and started sniffling.

"America," she whispered hoarsely. "I couldn't believe…"

"What?" I asked, almost yelling. Chelsey looked up to meet my gaze, and her next words made my blood run cold.

"Queen Amberly is dead."

* * *

 _"People believe that death is the most cruel thing on earth. We're all running towards that last stop every day. They're just scared to admit it."_

 _"Life asked Death, 'Why do people love me, but hate you?' Death responded, 'Because you are a Beautiful Lie, and I am a Painful Truth.'"_

* * *

 **A/N: ... Okay, y'all are gonna hate me, but y'know, stuff happens. Sorry.**

 **Anyway, I'm really really hoping that I'll be able to finish this story in the next couple of months. I already have a lot written that I'm just not publishing since I don't want to run out of materials... Currently, I'm writing chapter thirty, so you guys have at least ten more chapters to look forward to, lol.**

 **PLEASE REVIEW - I feel like no one is reading anymore, which makes me sad, but I'm still gonna finish it. Still, I'd love more feedback (even if it is constructive criticism).**

 **Reminder Disclaimer: Kiera Cass owns all rights to the Selection series, its characters, and its world.**

 **Thanks, loves.**

 **Veronica**


	24. All is Gone

**Chapter Twenty Three - All is Gone**

My first thought was, _I must be dreaming_.

Or rather, experiencing a nightmare.

There was absolutely no possible that _this many_ bad things could happen. No freaking way. It wasn't fair. It was _not_ fair.

Before I realize it, I was sprinting after Chelsey, leaving Mallory with Chase. My heart pounded, and even though I wanted more than anything to stop and curl up into a ball and cry, I had to find out if it's true.

 _It's not true, it's not true, it's not true_ , I chanted in my head, wishing more than anything that I was right. It couldn't be true. There must be some misunderstanding. I'd seen her just a few days ago. She'd been _fine_. She _was_ fine. Queen Amberly, the doctors said, had been improving tremendously the past few weeks - despite the stress of her son being gone and all the Raiders attacks.

Before I knew it, we had arrived in the Royal Chambers. I was almost surprised - it felt like seconds ago that I had been in Chase's room, peacefully enjoying the afternoon.

We arrived in the hallway, and it's already too crowded for us to get in. There were doctors all around, and a few royal advisors. Even some confused maids and butlers had stopped, lingering in the hallway with curious and worried faces. I glimpsed Anne for a second, but before I knew it, she was gone, and Chelsey was pushing her way to the front while dragging me along with her.

We reached Queen Amberly's door, where the guard Avery was hesitating. He saw Chelsey and almost didn't let her in, but her pleading face persuaded him. We rushed in, ducking away before anyone would notice two maids in the thick of the crowd.

Inside, there were at least five doctors and five guards in the room. My heart clenched and I felt like I was going to throw up as I managed to catch the last glimpse of Queen Amberly's ashen gray face before a doctor grimly covered her body with a white sheet.

A flash of light caught my eye. _Her necklace_ , I remembered dully. _She still has her necklace_. _She wanted me to have it. I should have it. I should take it. Go, America, get whatever is left to remember her by._

However, her face and any sign of the necklace disappeared as a couple doctors crowded around her, talking in low, hushed tones. I was too numb to do anything, anyway.

Chelsey gripped my hand tighter. I could hear her starting to sob, but I didn't cry. I couldn't cry. None of this was registering in my head at all. My heart pounded and I could feel myself breaking into sweat.

A guard ordered Avery - who was still standing like a pillar next to the door - to disperse the crowd so they could take Queen Amberly's body to the infirmary for inspection. I opened mouth to say _No, please, she might still be alive_. But no sound came out.

Chelsey began sobbing louder as they lowered Queen Amberly onto a stretcher and carried her out. All of a sudden, a guard appeared in front of the two of us, a stern look on his face, and we let ourselves be led out of Queen Amberly's room. The crowd outside was already disappearing, but the guard just brought us to the hallway before hurrying away.

"Miss Beauregard, please, you must stop crying if we are to understand what happened."

I turned at the sound of a calm voice saying Keahnna's last name, and was met with the sight of a sobbing, disheveled Keahnna a little down the hallway. A doctor and a man with a notepad stood in front of her, but Keahnna could barely form words.

I quickly rushed over, worrying that maybe she had been hurt. After all, I didn't even know how Queen Amberly had died. Were there more victims? My heart was pounding as I arrived at my friend's side.

My presence seemed to calm Keahnna a lot. She took a shaky breath before wiping her eyes and sniffing loudly. "...Okay, I'm fine now," she managed to croak out to the calm man who seemed to be interrogating her.

I almost interrupted to ask why she was being asked questions, but the female doctor and the interrogator both looked annoyed already, so I kept my mouth shut.

"Very good, Miss Beauregard," the man said swiftly. He ignored me. "Now please, start at the beginning."

"I…" Keahnna took a deep breath as tears began leaking out of her eyes again. The man pursed his lips, so I squeezed her shoulder comfortingly, and she managed to get herself back together.

"I was in my room writing -" Keahnna began slowly.

"Writing what?" The man interrupted.

Keahnna scowled. "Writing a letter to my friend Lady Veronikka - she left just a couple hours ago." The man scribbled this down. "Anyway, I was writing it with the door open because I needed some fresh air-"

"Why not just open the window?" the man interrupted again. Keahnna seemed more frustrated than sad now. She hurriedly wiped her eyes, which were smeared with eye makeup.

"Because I didn't _want_ to - the breeze makes me cold. Anyway, I was writing when I heard Queen Amberly calling out." Her voice cracked. "She sounded weak, so I quickly got up and hurried over." She swallowed thickly when the man continued to write. "The Queen…" she took a deep breath. "She told me she was feeling dizzy, so I got her some hot tea and water. After she drank it, she began to get more and more pale, and eventually-" Keahnna was holding back her tears. "She just, just… _died_." Finally, the tears began to flow, and I just stood in shock as the man and the doctor nodded calmly. They didn't seem very moved at all, and even though it was their job to remain calm, I was slightly offended by how indifferent - almost bored - they seemed.

"Thank you, Miss Beauregard," the man shut his notebook loudly, making Keahnna jump as she continued to cry. "That will be all. Someone may be around later to collect more details."

Keahnna nodded slowly, but I quickly stepped forward before they could walk away. "Wait!" I protested. "Doesn't anybody know how the Queen died?" My voice sounded panicked and weak, and both the doctor and the interrogator looked at me exasperatedly at me - as if I was a child.

"It seems she died of natural causes," the woman told me. "Possibly a heart attack of old age."

I sputtered. "But- but isn't anyone _concerned_? She's the _Queen_!"

"She _was_ the Queen," the man interjected. "Everyone was expecting her to die eventually," he told me breezily, as if it was no big deal. I was becoming more and more frustrated. "After her fall, it was just a matter of time."

"But she was improving!" I protested, feeling faint at the thought of her fall. This couldn't be happening. Please, I couldn't handle anything else.

"Improvement does not equate the healthiness of a younger body," the doctor told me coldly, and she and the man turned and walked away before I could say anything else.

I leaned against the wall, with Keahnna. I couldn't think, I couldn't feel. Dimly in the corner I saw Chelsey sobbing in the arms of another maid. I didn't cry.

I sat down on the floor and closed my eyes, wishing that things could just go back to how it was before.

As I watched the stretcher with Queen Amberly's body being carried out, I remembered something my brother had told me a couple months ago when he had first informed me about the Raiders.

It just took one moment to shatter someone's world.

Too bad mine had already been broken.

 _END OF CHAPTER TWENTY THREE_

* * *

 **Hey! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Look forward to another chapter in one to two weeks, and please review!**

 **Thank you to everyone who reviewed! I really appreciate and love all of you. Thanks for your enthusiasm for the story, because it helps me focus on writing more for you guys! Much love,**

 **Veronica**


	25. Longing

**Chapter Twenty Four - Longing**

Below my overwhelming sadness, I was furious.

I was disappointed on how they reacted so… so… carelessly to their Queen's death. Her accomplishments were innovative. They brought Ilea back into the world in times of crisis, and this is how they repay her? What authority did they have to act like this?

How dare they?

I wanted to cry, scream, and die all at the same time. Life was not fair - I had learned that by now. But this… this was just plain _cruel_.

After a minute to compose myself, I rushed out of the Royal Chambers, wiping my tears quickly from my eyes. I couldn't bear standing in that hellhole for another minute, watching those _monsters_ do away with Queen Amberly's fond memories like that. I felt like a part of me had been torn out of me, and shoved back down my throat as a way of saying, "Deal with the truth. It sucks doesn't it?"

I stopped in my tracks as I reached the hallway. I looked over my shoulder and peered into the window that looked over the palace gates and into the city. Not a stir. The world had seemed to have stopped. I forced myself to pick up my feet and continue down the dark hallway. Where could I find a trace of home in this place? I lifted my hand and clenched my chest. Queen Amberly was my remedy for all my problems. She was the one who listened to me, who understood my loneliness, and saw that I had a potential. She did not cast me aside, but rather, she took me in with warm, open arms. Like a mother.

I looked back down the dark hallway back at the staircase. _Could she really leave me like this? Can she turn my back on all she's done for me and let my confidence rot away?_

I couldn't face myself. If I had only spared a few minutes for her - would she not have gone like this?

My brain was on overdrive, thinking about how maybe, if I had just _been_ there when I planned to earlier, she would've been okay. Of course I wanted to be there when Veronikka left, but I could've saved her. I should've saved her.

But I didn't. And that was why _I_ was the monster.

I didn't learn from Raychell. I didn't learn from May. And now, I'd lost Queen Amberly.

My head spun around these thoughts, poisoning my reason with each passing minute. I tormented myself and kept on walking down the hallway. With each step I took, the harder it became to breathe, and to even think. Tears rolled down my cheek - I didn't even bother to wipe them away. I let myself cry, wallowing in self pity, guilt, and sadness. I hoped that whoever - _whatever_ \- was watching me would see how much I was suffering. What else could I do besides cry?

 _I am weak._

 _ **America's Journal Entry:**_

 _Dear Carolina,_

 _I've missed being at home. The palace has so many memories I want to forget, but I can't seem to let go. I miss Adelynne - but if she was here, it'll make me hurt even more_ (though, I don't see how that's possible, looking into my current state… ) _I know she's safe, healthy, and loved. I can't say the same for myself. I feel as if my energy is being drained out of me slowly, and I don't even know why I'm still here. My only source of "home" has been taken away from me. It's been a month. The Queen has passed…. I still find it outrageous on how little the doctors thought of her death. Call it professional, but I deem it worthy of inhumane._

 _It's been awhile since I've written… My handwriting proves so clearly._

 _Much Love,_

America Singer

I closed my journal and tucked it away into my drawer. It was silly that my hand was already cramping from the recent writing session. My emotions had subsided, and evolved into a dead sort of feeling. Depression, the doctor called it. But I called it normal.

Just when I had felt as if I might just die of loneliness, my friends aren't here. I didn't _blame_ them, of course, but I _do_ need them. And they're not here for me. That, I thought, is what makes the pain most unbearable. I have to bear it all on my own.

Although I was never too close with Gerad, we were very alike as children, and since my friends are busy, I thought I would be able to see him. He always managed to see the good in everything, and although I couldn't see any way what has happened could be _good_ , I knew being with family will make me feel better. However, Gerad's been on duty for who knows how long, so I had barely seen him. I saw him once on patrol, but of course he cannot talk to me as he does his job. I couldn't help but also think that he's maybe avoiding me, because the last major conversation we had involved me learning about the Raiders, so there was tension between our small disagreement.

Even Chelsey hadn't shown face in the palace for a while - or at least, I hadn't seen her very much. I knew she was busy as Head Maid, and - at least temporarily - she had been in charge of what will happen concerning Queen Amberly (talking to doctors for the cause of death, a mandatory investigation whenever a royal dies, and of course her funeral). She seemed too busy to even take time to mourn, but I knew what Chelsey was doing. Whenever she hurt, she closed herself off and worked hard so that she didn't have time to be sad.

Unfortunately, I did not have the same privilege. Mallory seemed to think of me as fragile and on edge, so she had been a complete saint with taking care of Chase, but that just made me feel useless. Just as when Kriss had died, there was a constant damper on the mood everywhere in the Palace. I felt as if things before - at least in the Palace, not in my personal life - had been looking up, but now everyone seems heartbroken. Queen Amberly had been an iconic representative of Illea. Now that she was dead, I felt as if the country was lost, especially now that Maxon is in New Asia.

Valleree had dropped off the face of the earth, hopping one place to another, seeing the world, helping with charity work. She knew about Queen Amberly, but couldn't cancel her trip. She told me she felt horrible, and would be back as soon as possible, but I felt sick in anticipation of her coming. Valleree always managed to cheer me up, and I was craving some kind - any kind - of happiness. But would Valleree, despite her ability to make anyone laugh, be able to make anything better after what had happened?

There had been no word of Maxon -at least, I hadn't heard anything. Of course, considering I was only the prince's nanny, I guess it's not important for me to know things. I knew I would be furious if he did not return for the funeral, which was later that week. Even if he was on rocky grounds with New Asia, it was his mother's funeral. (And I guess I'm also want him here with me, but currently, I was too sad about Queen Amberly to focus on Maxon - at least that's what I told myself.)

Though, Keahnna had been doing well in Ilea. Recently she had been taken in for questioning since she was the only witness to the Queen's death. Luckily, Keahnna had managed to stay strong. She was on the cover of newspapers and constantly on television. I heard she recently took an acting class and booked a commercial, so she had been surprisingly good so far with composing herself. I would be traumatised if I had gone through what she did. I couldn't help but feel the tiniest bit bitter towards her, because even though I _knew_ she couldn't have done anything, she was there when the Queen died. Could she have done anything? Still, I pushed away any bitter thoughts and just try to stay strong and help her stay strong, especially since we only had each other temporarily.

On my way to Chase's room the next day, I dawdled. What was the point of rushing to see Chase? Even if he was completely adorable and he always made smile, I felt as if he would make me feel worse. He would've made me think of his father and grandmother.

I'd swept over the palace so many times with a broom, that I decided I might as well sweep some more. I quickly grabbed a broomstick from a side closet and shuffled down the hallway, sweeping left and right.

 _Sweep._

I wondered what it's like, traveling the world.

 _Sweep._

I wished I was able to smile in front of cameras and get paid millions.

 _Sweep._

I wished I was with Maxon.

Sighing, I lifted my broom and headed downstairs. The marble floor was sparkling, the chandeliers shining brightly in all their glory. I took myself down into the inner rooms of the palace, sweeping as I moved along to one room and the next. The empty guest rooms are the easiest parts of the palace to clean. Hardly anyone ever goes in it, except when there are important guests visiting, but on those occasions "special event" maids clean the guest rooms. Still, I am hesitant to get to Mallory and Chase, so I make sure to sweep every corner of the rooms - at least in one of the Palace's many hallways.

The main floor of the palace is the grandest, most spectacular thing I'd seen in my life. The sparkling marble floor gleams as it bounces off the light radiating from the extravagant chandeliers. There are always fresh, vibrant flowers in bloom, tucked neatly into elegant vases. Paintings reflect each other nicely, flowing throughout the Palace. The arched windows are decorated with regal purple curtains, with heavy golden tassels hanging near the bottom. Ornate gold decorations and crown moldings outline the walls of the palace. How glorified was this palace back then?

A pang of depression stroke my conscience when I realized that there are starving children on the streets, labeled as Eights and Sevens. Born into a world they will never escape from. And I stood there. Escaping what should be my reality by doing what many would kill to do.

I humbled myself, lowered my head, and continued to sweep the empty palace.

But with a start, I glanced up. _An empty palace._

I frowned. That wasn't right. The main floor would never be empty, and most certainly not on a day like this, where people dawdle at their jobs because of the stuffy, depressed mood.

I heard the faint sound of chatter from outside, so I went towards the window, with my broom still in hand, and look out.

Hundreds of people were lined up on the Palace stairs, streets, and sidewalks. A long line of cars pulled in from around the corner of Main Street, and stops in front of the Palace. Was a princess visiting? Or was someone returning?

 _Maxon._

* * *

By the time I sprinted down to the front entrance (with renewed enthusiasm, obviously), I was almost crying. If he's here, then everything - at the moment - will seem fixed. Even if everything has fallen apart, he will make it better. And I will show that I've proven myself, and everything, or at least almost everything will be fine.

But when I got to the front gate, people are already trying to get back into the Palace. The crowds are diminishing, and there is no cheering. My heart sunk. Now I knew that he is not here. Of course, I shouldn't have expected he would be - despite me being a maid, the king coming back would make such big news even the rats in the sewer would know about it.

"How long is he going to be gone?" I heard one maid mutter to her friend. People looked depressed and let down, and I winced. Whoever _had_ returned had not gotten a very warm welcome.

I turned around, letting myself be pushed along back inside with the crowds. I almost burst into tears right then and there from the shattering of my false hope. Just a moment ago, I had been excited and happy. Now it just seemed worse than before.

"America!" I heard my name called out almost as a sob. I turned back suddenly. _Valleree_.

She was pushing through the crowds, and even though she was not crying (Valleree never cries), I could see the distress on her face. I felt both immensely happy and devastated at the same time. I looked at her face and read her expression. I felt as if I was looking into a mirror of my own emotions.

Valleree ran up to me, shoving those rude passersby aside as they brushed against me. Her face was pale, her eyes unfocused, and her usual happy demeanor was completely gone. I wanted to stop right then and there because - even though Valleree was a wonderfully passionate and relatable person, the fact that she couldn't find some way to lighten the mood was honestly shocking.

Even though Valleree wasn't the visitor everyone wanted to see, a couple people tried to stop her to say hi, but Valleree politely declined. When she reached me, neither of us spoke.

I opened my mouth and only two words manage to be heard. "Queen Amberly…"

"... is gone." Valleree whispered, completing my sentence. Those few words seemed to hold so much meaning. I just nodded, clutching her hands in mine.

There were no more words we could say, and none that needed to be spoken. Finally, she pulled me into a hug, and we clutched each other helplessly.

At least I knew that when my world is crashing down, my friends will always be there with me.

* * *

I spent the night in Valleree's room, making sure Mallory is good with Chase before rushing to her bedroom. You would think, after being so far apart for so long, that we would be happy to see each other. Instead, we can hardly even manage to say anything, much less be happy. We buried ourselves into her large mountain of pillows and blankets on her bed, ordered pizza, and played music. We stayed there for who knows how long, crying, eating, and eventually I fall asleep.

Nowadays reality feels like a nightmare.

So the only escape I have are my dreams.

* * *

The next morning, I woke up in a new place, and for a moment I panicked. Then I remembered where I was, and I tried to rest again - after all, who knows when I would get another moment of peace?

"Sorry, honey," Valleree's voice sounded just how I feel - tired, sad, and hurt. She gently pushed me to wake up. "But we need to get ready."

I turned over, my voice feeling hoarse when I talked. "Why?" I didn't feel like talking, but when I don't then I feel like crying. I didn't know what was going on with me.

"Well we have to get you back in the swing of things for Maxon, right?"

I sat up so fast that my vision blurred and turned white. "Maxon?" I whispered, my eyes wide as I looked to my friend.

Her eyes bugged out too as she pushed back her tangled hair from her face. "He's coming tomorrow!" She cried out. "Did Chelsey really forget to tell you? You didn't really think he was missing his mother's funeral, did you?"

I made a strangled noise, and I felt guilty for feeling happy. "I just… I didn't know." I'm so tired that my voice comes out soft like a whisper.

Maxon was coming back.

 _He was coming back_.

Terror suddenly seized me, and I worry that the pizza I ate last night will make an unexpected and unwanted return. "Valleree…" I asked numbly. "What am I going to _do_?"

Valleree smiled tightly - which, I knew, was honestly the best she could do that moment. "You welcome him. You be happy. And," she squeezed my hand, "you eventually learn to cope." She took a deep breath. "Maxon, as you know, will be heartbroken. The best thing you can do right now is be there for him." Valleree gave me a thin-lipped smile, her eyes glassy.

I nodded slowly, still worried. What if he didn't want me to be there for him? Although I had been anxiously waiting and praying for him to come back, now that I knew he was, I just felt nervous. Like I could wreck everything all over again. How was I supposed to help him and be there for him when I needed him to be there for me?

 _END OF CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR_

* * *

 **I'm actually really getting excited for the end of the story because my co-writer and I have it almost entirely planned out and practically all of it written already (except for a really awesome finale, but no spoilers!). I hope you're enjoying, and I do apologize that it is getting rather boring without Maxon drama. Then again, it causes suspense for the end, so... Please REVIEW (it reminds me to update)!**


	26. Weight of the World

**Chapter Twenty Five - Weight of the World**

Valleree's plan to "prepare" me for Maxon's return was simply this: I needed to mourn and get it (mostly) out of my system, and I needed to relax so that at least one of us would be calm - and we all knew that the calm one would not be Maxon.

When Valleree asked if there was any way we could see Queen Amberly's body to say good-bye (it sounded creepy, but I knew that I would never get a chance at the funeral - I was too low a rank), Chelsey looked like she might burst into tears before she composed herself.

"Sorry, but Maxon ordered that no one see her until he comes." I took a sharp intake of breath at his name, not used to it being thrown around so casually. Before, Maxon's name made everyone too tense for it to be spoken frequently. And even when it was spoken, it was always "His Majesty" or "King Maxon". It was almost like he was close - and, I guessed, he probably would be soon. Tomorrow night, Maxon was coming back. And three days after, Queen Amberly's funeral would occur.

Out of all the reasons I had hoped and prayed he would return to the Palace - and to me-, I would never have imagined that he would come back because of _this_.

Although I didn't get to say a final good-bye to Queen Amberly (not that I wanted to - it was too painful to think about), I did manage to at least clear my mind - and my conscience.

Keahnna, joining Valleree and me on our "trip of relaxation" - as Valleree insisted it be called -, kindly offered for her chauffeur to take us to the city to get a spa treatment. I tried to argue that it wouldn't be right, doing something so frivolous right after a death - and _Queen Amberly's_ death of all people-, but Valleree put her foot down.

"It's not frivolous if it's for your better well-being," she had stubbornly argued, and even though it hurt that she considered me so fragile, I knew I needed to relax. I still felt constantly anxious and nervous. I knew where this path would take me - it was just as how I had been when Aspen had died. I didn't want to build my walls up again even stronger, so I relented.

And that was how I found myself at an Angeles Spa getting the "premium package" courtesy of Valleree and Keahnna's seemingly bottomless purses.

A young woman with warm, dark skin and curly hair came told me that she would be helping me. Flashing me a bright white smile, she started to walk into a room, expecting me to follow.

Irrational panic seized me. What if I left Valleree and Keahnna and something happened to them? I couldn't lose someone else.

Grabbing Valleree's arm spasmodically, I looked for some kind of support. She shot me a concerned glance, and could immediately tell what was wrong. Carefully, she took my hand off her arm and quietly told the young woman - Ashely, her name tag said - something under her breath. Ashely gave me a warm smile.

"Don't worry, sweetheart, you're going to see them as soon as you receive your massage." Her voice was warm and smooth like honey, and I swallowed thickly before biting my lip and bracing myself.

I was overreacting. I knew that. So I forced myself to follow Ashely into a room which was luckily warm, homey, and open. After lying on the table, Ashely began to massage my back comfortingly.

Almost instantly I felt myself relax. I'd never had a massage before - could never really afford it-, but it was absolute bliss. After a few minutes, when I was starting to drift off to sleep, Ashely spoke.

"So, how long has your man been in New Asia?"

My eyes snapped open, and she could tell I felt tense because she gently pressed on my back until I relaxed.

"It's okay," Ashely laughed. "I know it's hard - my husband's fighting there too." I didn't say anything, so she kept going, continuing to soothingly rub circles into my back. "He got drafted right after we married," she added, slight pain in her voice.

Suddenly everything made sense, and I relaxed. Valleree had told Ashely that my boyfriend - husband, significant other, whatever - was gone in New Asia, and that I was anxious for his return. I couldn't help but smile slightly at my friend's cleverness, but Ashely's warm voice brought me back to the present.

"But he just sent me a letter, and he's going to be released soon." I could hear the grin in her voice. "We're actually hoping we could start a family… do you have any kids, honey?"

I paused, then nodded a little, warmth filling my body when I thought of my daughter Adelynne. She probably had no idea that her mother was so lost and heartbroken, and my mother probably wouldn't know either. Queen Amberly's death had only recently been announced publicly. (And although no one actually mentioned it, everyone noticed the doubled number of guards. At first I didn't understand why, but then I realized - the public could potentially be so devastated by Queen Amberly's death that they attacked the Palace. Although it was highly unlikely, it still made me feel scared. With such a loved leader dead, what would happen?)

"That's wonderful," Ashely commented happily. There was a pause until she said softly, "My brother was drafted as well." I didn't stop her, so she kept talking. And I understood. There was always something comforting about just telling a stranger your problems. After all, who was I going to tell? All I could do was listen.

Sometimes, that was the best favor you could do for someone.

"I didn't get to go to his funeral," she said as she pressed slightly harder on my back. I winced, not from pain, but from sympathy. "I don't even know if they found a body…" her voice trailed off. "Anyway, whoever close to you died, you just have to keep hope-"

I was so surprised that I made a move to get up, cutting her off, but she gently pushed me back down. "Relax, honey. I'm very good at reading people." I could hear the small, sad smile in her voice. "I can tell… you've experienced a death."

I was both amazed and spooked that she could tell so much about me, but as she pressed soothing circles into my back, I allowed myself to relax again.

"Just… stay happy, okay?" She told me. "Whoever you love who died… they would want you to be happy, right?" _Yes._ "Of course it's hard to stay happy without them, but sometimes…" she paused.

"That's a part of life." She said finally. "Even if we don't like it, we have to learn to live without them." She gently squeezed my shoulders, and my eyes teared up. How was this complete stranger so kind to me? How did she seem to understand life so well?

"And _living_ ," she giggled, "includes laughing, smiling, being happy… Live life to the fullest, honey." She ended sweetly, but said no more on the subject. I sniffed quietly, surprised at how emotional I was getting. It was nice that someone who didn't even know me, didn't know what I had gone through, was still comforting me. It reminded me that even when life is dark, there are always people who can provide a little light.

For the rest of the day, she didn't say anything else personal or deep - and that was okay. I guessed that there _was_ a certain limit to how much she could talk with a client, but I was grateful for what she had said, no matter how little. It made me feel better. She helped me realize that, yes, life was hard. But no matter how much I suffered, I needed to remember that other people suffered too. I should be thankful for everything I had - my family, my friends, Adelynne, Maxon.

A weight felt like it had been lifted off my shoulders, and that meant the world.

After the spa, Valleree, Keahnna, and I returned to the Palace. Although everyone was still sad about the Queen's death, there was a buzz in the air that I could only attribute to Maxon's upcoming arrival. Especially now that I felt like almost a new person, I could finally feel excited. I would see him again. After so _long_ , I would see him again.

Now, Keahnna seemed more anxious about Maxon's return than me. She kept insisting that Maxon would be angry at her since she was the only witness of his mother's death.

"Maxon will be too sad to be angry," I tried to console her, but then I realized that only made her feel worse. Still, I shared similar worries with Keahnna. I felt so selfish, thinking about the fact that, at least for awhile, Maxon would honestly be too depressed to even think about me - _us_. The two most important women in his life had been ripped away from him in the last year. Even though it made me ache to think about the pain he was in, I couldn't help but hope that it would get better soon. Then we could be happy with each other.

Despite Valleree's and my work to distract and relax myself the day before, the next morning it seemed I felt even worse than usual. My emotions were all out of whack, and just the mention of one of my passed loved ones made me cry. Maxon's return was only making me more anxious. The love of my life was coming back with me, and meanwhile, I was a mess of emotions. An incomplete, broken America. Who would want me?

Valleree, unfortunately, was unable to console or even be there for me.

"I have to interview tons of people," she sighed when I asked if she wanted to go out for a little while before I was scheduled to return to my job with Chase (I'd already skipped a few days, and besides, I missed him). "With Maxon's return, the public is anxious for any drama, secrets…" she explained. I didn't hide my disappointment well, and she gave me an apologetic smile.

"Why don't you ask Keahnna? She was talking about visiting the city before Maxon comes back."

I stared at her. "She's going to the spa _again_?"

That made her laugh. "You do realize there's more to do in the city than just go to a spa, right?" She asked amusedly. I shrugged.

"I don't go to the city. But okay. I'll have to bring Chase, though, so we might just have to go to town."

Valleree's eyes lit up, and then she pouted. "Aw, now I really wish I could come! There's this bakery that sells the absolute best strawberry tarts!" Her eyes closed as she thought of the sweet pastries.

"Near the fountain? Yeah, I bet Chase will like that." My lips quirked up despite myself.

Valleree gave me a quick hug and a smile before saying good-bye to go off and do her job.

As I walked up to the Royal Chambers to pick up Chase, I felt strangely peaceful. Maybe it was the relaxing day I had gone through yesterday. Maybe it was the knowledge of Maxon's return that afternoon. Maybe it was the fact that I had gotten time to mourn with Valleree last night - she and I had convinced Chelsey to have a sleepover in Valleree's room (at this rate, soon I would be so accustomed to Valleree's room that it would be weird to sleep in my own). It was nice because we both knew that Chelsey had kept all of her emotions inside after the day Queen Amberly passed. We all cried together, and then laughed, and cried some more. It was sort of like a good-bye. An end of an era, but for me, it was the beginning of a new part of my life.

I just wasn't sure if it would be for better or for worse.

* * *

Keahnna seemed oddly subdued as we headed into town (it was on the outskirts of the city, with less people and a more friendly vibe; it felt safer since I had Chase). It was fine, though. I felt a little tired, and Chase kept me on my toes as usual, as he was just starting to toddle around.

I was surprised that I was allowed to go around town at all. What with the extra security and all, I thought I would have a whole entourage with the Prince. Luckily, when I stubbornly refused to back down from leaving the Palace, the head guard had reluctantly given me permission to go. (It also helped when Keahnna fluttered her eyes as well - she's a huge favorite among the guards at the Palace.)

Of course, we weren't totally unprotected. He had snapped clanky metal bracelets onto Keahnna's, Chase's, and my wrists as we left, and if Chase was ever more than five feet away from one of us, the bracelets would activate and alert the guards surrounding the town's perimeter (hiding, of course) that there was danger. Luckily the bracelets remained pretty regular looking (if a metal band around your wrist is considered regular), and it didn't beep or turn on its tracking device unless, again, Chase's bracelet was separated from one of the other bracelets. Another helpful addition was the small button which, if held down for a couple of seconds, would alert the guards of danger.

I was amazed as we left the Palace that such high-tech had been developed, but I knew it was needed. Rebel attacks, although very infrequent nowadays, still happened. As the rest of the world developed, King Maxon had made sure that Illea remained to be a powerful and innovative country.

I had thought it was a fool proof plan, but the head guard still insisted we have a couple of guards, not matter how much attention it drew. So that was how how Derrick ended up with us, dressed as casually as he could be (honestly, did _no one_ here own a pair of jeans?).

It was of course awkward, but Derrick was dressed inconspicuously enough that we could pass for a family in the town - albeit a strange family, but it wouldn't draw enough attention.

"I'm a little hungry, America," Keahnna commented as we entered the town square. It was one of the first things she said. Derrick seemed to put her on edge. We sat on the edge of the decorated stone fountain and watched little children laugh and play around us. Derrick stayed standing, but I shot him a look and he sat down as well, reluctantly.

"There's a good bakery down that corner," I said to her, half of my focus on the conversation and half on Chase (who was sitting next to me, splashing the edge of the water with his small hands).

Keahnna nodded, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Derrick still didn't say anything. (For a moment, my mind drifted to Keahnna and him. She hadn't mentioned him, which surprised me, and they hadn't been together at all since Queen Amberly's death - but that was off topic.) Keahnna hesitated. "Is it okay if you go get it while I wait here for Chase? I… don't want to be recognized." She seemed nervous as she pursed her lips and tapped her foot, so I just smiled kindly. Keahnna had been on edge after Queen Amberly's death, which was understandable, and besides, she was right.

As we had left the Palace, one of the head guards had stressed the importance of acting casual, as to not draw attention. That was why we had our metal bracelets instead of escorted guard - we didn't want attention drawn to the Prince at such a stressful time in the country. A young woman with a baby in the middle of town square was much more inconspicuous than two women (one of which was a famous model) walking into a bakery with the heir to the throne. Luckily, the Prince was protected so well that they were very rarely any pictures of him in the media, so he was not the one in danger of being recognised. Rather, Keahnna was a famous model with many adoring fans who could call attention easily.

Keahnna relaxed a little when I nodded, and she smiled at me. I couldn't see her eyes behind her dark sunglasses (part of her "staying low" cover), but I could tell this meant more to her than she could express.

"Derrick and I will keep Chase out of trouble," she promised as I stood and brushed myself off. I smiled back at Keahnna. Even though I couldn't see her eyes behind her sunglasses, there was a certain resolve in them. I could tell that Keahnna, who was rarely relied on to take care of Chase, was serious about her responsibility, which was sweet.

"I'll be back in a few." I said, then teased, "Just be careful not to let him wander more than five feet away."

"So precise," she giggled, but I knew she understood. Derrick gave me a small nod and allowed a smile, which I was grateful for. I understood he was just doing his job, trying not to interact too much.

I wandered over to a corner of the square that was tucked a little to one side. Before I was even inside the bakery I could smell the delicious pastries, and my mouth started to water. I felt sympathetic for a couple of little kids who had their faces pressed up against the glass, gazing at the desserts lovingly.

This bakery had a sentimental value for me, even though I had only been there once before. It felt like just yesterday that my brother had appeared next to me at the counter. But at the same time, it also felt like a lifetime away.

The bakery owner's eyes lit up when he saw me, so I knew he recognized me. He didn't say hello since he was helping another customer, but only offered me a gracious smile that I returned.

I scanned the names of the different delicacies he had laid out. There was so many to choose from, but I already knew what I wanted.

"A dozen strawberry tar-"

I was cut off by a loud scream that came from outside. I whirled around as more screams come after them.

 _Chase._ I immediately thought, and sprinted out of the small bakery, ignoring all the chaos that has erupted around me. It was hard to get out of the bakery, because all of the people who had been outside in the courtyard were now running away from whatever - God, I couldn't even _think it_ \- are now rushing to get shelter. I shoved people out of the way, my heart pounding. I hadn't had been this energized for a very long time, and I could not think about my actions. All I could think was, Chase, Chase, Chase.

Once I had found myself in the courtyard, I look around frantically. My eyes analyzed the scene in front of me in a matter of less than a second, but it felt like I was simply a viewer and could do nothing.

Immediately, my eyes locked on to where the attention is. All I saw are people running away from a small alley on the other side of the courtyard. There were men in all black protective suits backing into the alley with guns drawn. They did not have the crest of Illea on their chests. These were not the soldiers who were there to protect us.

Keahnna was easy to spot with her bright dress. She was writhing around while still trying to shield Chase, who was crying, from the men. I watched in horror as they knocked her unconscious and dragged her into the alley, out of view. This was all happening too fast, too soon.

Where was Derrick?

With a flick of my eyes, I saw that the fountain was now deserted. A man - Derrick - was knocked unconscious on the stone floor (at least I hoped he was only unconscious).

By then, almost the entire courtyard was deserted. Without a second of delay, I ran in the direction of the alley, in the opposite direction of everyone else. "Stop!" I screamed desperately. The men's faces were covered, but there were at least ten of them backing up into the alley. One of them looked at me, but didn't shoot. I could almost see the delight he had in my complete and utter panic.

I wasn't going to get there quick enough.

 _No!_ I thought in horror. They were going to escape. They were taking Chase - and Keahnna- and there was nothing I could do about it.

I reached the alley, but it was too late.

There was no trace of them. I was alone in an alley, deserted.

A failure to myself and the crown of Illea.

 _END OF CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE_


	27. Reunion

_Previously on 'Break My Heart a Thousand Times': America Singer is a maid at the Palace of Illea. While King Maxon is gone in New Asia, the Palace life falls apart. Queen Amberly dies a mysterious sudden death, and the day before Maxon's abrupt return for his mother's funeral, Prince Chase is kidnapped! America, feeling lost and guilty, has to ask herself - what is the point of her being there?_

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty Six - Reunion**

If there was one thing I had known I would always do, it was I would always try to my job.

But then even that had left me. I was a complete failure. I had failed myself, my friends, my job, my country… what was left?

I was locked up after the kidnapping. "You are a witness to practically a terrorist attack. How do we know you weren't part of it?" they said.

Valleree tried to convince them otherwise. It wasn't any use.

I didn't care anyway. I was a failure. I needed to be locked up before I could mess up anything else.

It turned out I didn't need to stay in there too long anyway. By the end of the second day (of sulking and crying in my cell at the bottom of the Palace), Valleree came and visited me.

"Get up," she said tiredly. She was the only one who hadn't glared at or spoken harshly with me the last few days. She only looked disappointed. And coming from Valleree, that was a lot worse.

I only looked up with her, which made her scowl. "Come _on_ ," she opened the gate and came in, grabbing me to help me up. I was crying - I hadn't stopped crying - and she just rolled her eyes.

"His Majesty ordered you to be released," she told me.

I froze. "Maxon?" I croaked, but Valleree shot me a look. I stayed quiet as she led me out of the small hallway of cells at the bottom of the Palace, passing many guards in silence.

"How?" Is the only thing I asked after we had reached Valleree's bedroom. I had thought I would be excited, but I was just anxious. In fact, I could barely feel anything except worry and stress. He must be so, so mad.

 _He has a right to be, of course. I failed him_. I thought miserably.

Valleree brought me back with her voice. "He's the king." Her voice was cold, and offered no compassion. I shrunk in on myself. I felt horrible.

"He wants to meet with you," she continued. "You have to give your witness statement."

I nodded weakly. "Okay."

"Please stop pitying yourself," she said abruptly.

"What?"

Valleree frowned. "Other people are suffering too. I mean, Maxon…" she trailed off, shaking her head. "I can tell you feel bad for yourself. Well, stop being selfish." Her words were harsh. "You made a mistake. Now you have to do whatever you can to fix it."

I closed my eyes, tears leaking out. But I knew that they are the last of my tears for now. I had to fix what I had done, like Valleree said. There was nothing that could be gained by being depressed. I had to do something. I stood a little straighter.

"Sorry," I cleared my throat and wiped my eyes.

I was not going to mourn anymore - I had done enough. Now, I had to do something. And I wasn't going to give up until I found Chase and Keahnna. He was my responsibility, and she was my friend.

I was not losing them.

* * *

As we walked through the halls, people threw me dirty looks. Of course, most were minding their own business, but the air was even more tense than when the queen had died. The heir to the throne - the media's darling little Prince Chase Jackson Schreave - was missing.

And people thought it was my fault.

I didn't let it get to me - at least I wasn't hurt more by what I knew they thought about me. A few minutes ago, I would have stopped and started crying. But after Valleree's display of reality, I realized that by wallowing in my self-pity, I was doing something as equally bad as doing the wrong thing - doing nothing.

But still, now that I was fixated on finding Chase and Keahnna, my anxiousness grew.

 _Maxon, Maxon, Maxon,_ my heart pounded with each step I took.

Even after everything that had happened, my heart still ached for him.

There was so much I remembered… and now, so much I wanted to forget. Even though I cared for Maxon, had I changed too much? Was I too different, too _damaged_ , to love him?

Before I knew it, Valleree stopped walking and turned around. I almost crashed into her.

"Sorry," I said quickly.

She smiled slightly. Of course, it wasn't as bright or as sincere as usual, but still. "How are you feeling?"

I looked around. We were in the Royal Chambers, outside of Maxon's room. My heart pounded.

"I don't know what to feel."

My mouth tasted like sandpaper. "Why… why are we going to his room? Won't his advisors want to meet with me as well?" I asked in confusion, biting my lip.

Valleree's foot tapped against the tile floor, the only sign of her anxiety. It made me feel good for a second that she was nervous for me - despite everything, she was here for me. And she knew how big it was that I was meeting Maxon again after so long.

The real question was, did I?

"He requested a minute alone."

My breath caught. "Isn't that suspicious?" Even though we were alone, the thought of raising suspicions terrified me.

Valleree sighed. "You really think people would be suspicious of the king wanting to speak privately with the nanny of his son, who was kidnapped yesterday?" My heartbeat slowed when I understood where she was coming from.

"By the way." Valleree hesitated, and a feeling of dread settled in my stomach. The knot of anxiousness tightened as well. "You might wanna… refrain from anything too... affection…" she looked uncomfortable, and for a moment I was confused. But then I realized.

"Everything will be different," I whispered, comprehension dawning on me. "I've changed, he's changed, everything's changed…" I swallowed.

Valleree looked grateful I understood, but also sympathetic. "Hey," she took my hands gently. My brow furrowed. "I'm not say you guys aren't soulmates or anything. I'm just saying…"

"Now is not the time for romance," I finished her sentence. My friend nodded, squeezing my hands. It didn't make me sad, exactly, but more anxious when I realized what a horrible mistake it would be if either Maxon or I tried to figure out what is happening between us before we found Prince Chase.

But how could I be happy, knowing that my wait would be even longer?

My friend took a step back, her hands behind her back. "Well… he'll be expecting you." She smiled one last time. "Good luck."

Before I knew it, she was gone.

I stared at the handle on the door Maxon's bedroom. It was identical to almost every other doorknob in the Palace, and yet still strange to me. I was never in his bedroom often. Only when tasked with cleaning was when I would go in, and that was before I became Chase's nanny, which now seemed like eternities away. The only places where Maxon and I really have any memories are out in the gardens, Chase's room, or around the Palace.

After all, our romance was short lived - if you can even call it a romance. It began so quickly and ended so quickly. Would we ever be able to pick up our friendship where we had started? It'd been so long, and so much had happened.

I jumped when the door opened suddenly, my heart stopping for just a second before pounding harder than before. To my disappointment and relief, a different man stepped out. He was dressed in what I recognized as the military uniform of New Asia. I looked up in surprise at his face, which was distinctly New Asian. He smiled slightly at me, bowing low as soon as he saw me. I curtsied as well, but the knot in my stomach didn't lessen at all.

"Hello," the man had a low voice, and he looked surprised to see me as well. "You must be Miss Singer."

I must've looked surprised, because he smiled a little wider. "I am Ambassador Tran of New Asia," the man greeted, bowing his head slightly. He was young and handsome, which was significant because I had always heard that New Asian politicians were all elderly, grumpy New Asian men. Although I guess it would be preferred for ambassadors to be able to connect with King Maxon who was, by other countries' standards, pretty young. (Admittedly, we were all young. But with all that had happened, I felt as if it had aged us all quite a bit.)

The man cleared his throat. "I was just talking to King Maxon, and… I have heard about you." Surprisingly, there was no obvious accent in his voice. He seemed very fluent in English, which I was grateful for, but he let his comment hang. We both knew what he meant. My name - the only person who hadn't been harmed or kidnapped in what people were calling the "Terrorist taking in the town square" - must have traveled quickly.

"My condolences," the ambassador lowered his head, and I was shocked. This man, I realized, was the first person to offer their sympathy to me. Everyone else - even my friends - had given me judgement, condemnation, and guilt. Even though I knew everyone else was suffering, no one else thought about how I was affected. He was the first one who did.

"It must be terrible what you - and your country - have been going through, especially without the help of the king." He added kindly.

"Thank you," I murmured. I couldn't say anything else. A single tear streaked down my cheek, but it was a mixture of sad and happy. Sad about everything that had happened, but happy because I now knew I was strong enough to move on and make a difference.

The ambassador bowed again with a slight smile.

I curtsied deep and low - with all the respect and elegance I could muster - as he walked away. Already I was emotionally drained, and I hadn't even entered Maxon's room yet.

My heart started pounding. I was ready to see Maxon - I knew it, my heart knew it. Honestly, I was glad now I had been given some time to grow and learn apart from Maxon. It helped me value him, and cherish him, and…

 _Stop stalling_ , a small voice in the back of my head - a mixture of Valleree, Veronikka, and my mother mixed in one - chided me. _Go see the love of your life_.

Before I could second guess myself, I opened the door and walked into the room.

"Maxon?" my voice broke as soon as I stepped inside his room. I hadn't even been inside his room since he left, and his scent - his warm, homey, musky scent - made my insides melt.

Movement on the other side of the room made me spin around.

My eyes locked on his. Blue met brown, and my heart felt like it was bursting. I looked at him for a moment. He looked fundamentally the same. Same warm, chocolate brown eyes. Same honey blonde, wavy hair that was getting just a little too long and needed a trim. Same tan, smooth skin and dark pink lips.

But New Asia - and all that had happened while he had been gone - had damaged him.

His eyes were haunted. They were rimmed with red like they were crying, which scared me. I almost never saw Maxon cry. The night in the garden, and when Kriss died, were out of sorrow. I'd seen him cry out of joy, and out of anger at our last night together. But now, they were empty. It hurt me to keep his gaze.

And his skin was paler than usual. He was thinner too, with more pronounced cheekbones and darker circles around his eyes. The stress was getting to him. He hadn't had me to remind him not to work too hard.

Macon looked awed by me, and I suddenly felt self-conscious. I was mess - I was paler and had lost weight too, and my hair was an absolute mess. Not to mention I had been crying for days.

It had only been a few seconds, but it felt like we had been staring at each other for eternity. We were so close, and yet so far.

"America," his mouth whispered the word like a prayer. I finally let out a sound between a sob and a cry as I rushed forward, running into his arms.

The one thing that hadn't changed - I still fit in Maxon's arms perfectly. And I never wanted to leave.

For just a millisecond, Maxon squeezed me back. But the hug ended as quickly as it began. He pulled away, letting my arms drop to my sides. I wasn't crying, but I wasn't smiling either.

I didn't realize it would hurt so much to not show my love for him.

But I guess he knew, as well as I did, that we couldn't let that happen. At least, not right now.

"We should sit down and talk." His voice was rough, not smooth. I just nodded numbly.

Maxon led me to two plush chairs and helped me sit down - suddenly, I felt too weak to stand. Maybe it was his presence. Maxon sat across from me. I wanted to hug him again, but I could not. There was tension between us. I didn't like it.

I waited for him to speak. Not because I had nothing to say, but because I knew my words wouldn't have the effect I wanted.

"I don't blame you for anything that has happened, America." I stayed silent, letting Maxon talk. I knew he had a lot to say, and I knew he would say it well. He was the king. And I had missed the sound of his voice.

Maxon sighed. "I didn't want to be back under these circumstances," his voice cracked. "But what has happened, has happened. People have tried to explain to me what has happened from their perspectives. Some have even tried to put blame on you." I winced, but he kept going. "I haven't really gotten the full story, but honestly, I don't really want to hear the full story." He sighed, almost as if he was in pain.

"But I what I do want, America, is for you to explain what happened - _everything_ that happened - before I do anything." His eyes pleaded with me for a second, wide and sincere, but then they darkened. "And trust me…" Maxon's eyes narrowed dangerously, and I feared for whatever and whoever had decided to come between Maxon and his son. "I _will_ do something."

"I want to help you," I blurted out. He didn't smile, but he did look proud of me. And that was all I could ask for. "Before I tell you anything, I want you to know… I am going to help you find them. Chase and Keahnna." I tried to sit up straighter, though I knew I still looked pathetic with my red-rimmed eyes and frazzled appearance. "I've been crying for days, weeks, months… ever since you left. Even more recently. But I can't anymore. I'm done being sad," my voice broke. "I have to _do something_."

Maxon only sat with his hands under his chin and nodded. He didn't smile, but I didn't expect him to. I just needed to know that I would be able to make up for my mistakes.

"After your mother died, I was devastated." My first sentence made Maxon already look heartbroken. I went on to tell him about trying to cope, but no one gave me a straight answer of how she died. When I started to recount the day I went to town with Chase, Keahnna, and Derrick, his whole body tensed up. I was beginning to curl in on myself from reliving those memories that I had pushed away, so I was curled up on my seat as I recounted what happened. I described everything in detail - the security, the town square layout, how Chase and Keahnna seemed to disappear… But I didn't mention my mistakes, which I had realized only after the fact. First, I had left Chase when I was his nanny. Then, I hadn't pressed the button immediately. And, I didn't pursue Chase.

But I couldn't bear to tell him what I failed to do. He still had hope in me, while others blamed me. If I told him everything before first proving my determination to help, Maxon would blame me too. Hate me, even. Now that I was reliving it, I certainly was beginning to hate myself. But after everything, I could never bear to make him hate me.

Eventually, a tear streamed down my face. I thought I had been out of tears, but it was too horrible for me to remember without getting emotional. Maxon remained stone-faced, even when I finished and began sniffling. Perhaps he was too upset and angry to cry.

For a minute, there was silence. I watched him, but he stared into his lap, his fists clenched. I wanted to grab his hands, and do what I had done before when he had been frustrated. I would gently help him unclench his hands, then run my palm over his until he relaxed. It had been soothing for both of us, and as close as I could get to holding his hand.

Now, my hands were shaking with the effort of trying to hold still. I wanted to tell him I loved him. That I was sorry that I had messed up so badly that we couldn't pick up where left off. But I couldn't. He - and I - needed to focus on what mattered - Chase. Someone we both loved with all our hearts.

"My son…" his hoarse whisper made me feel like my heart was breaking. I could only imagine his pain.

"Maxon…" he didn't look up when I whispered his name, but his jaw loosened slightly. This gave me the courage to keep going. I cleared my throat. I had to explain that I wanted to put aside what was between us - or what _had_ been between us - aside. My voice was soft. "I know you just came back, but we need to talk about what happened before you left…"

My voice trailed off because he didn't show any reaction.

But then, my eye caught a shine on his cheek. A tear. He was crying. I reached out hesitantly, trying to offer my support. Maybe we could talk through it. Whatever it was. Everything.

I didn't expect him to stand up, avoiding my touch and letting my hand drop down to my lap. And I certainly didn't expect him to say,

"Thank you, Miss Singer, you may leave."

I didn't say anything. Maxon stood up and went to the door. I followed, because I couldn't do anything else.

"...Maxon." My voice was weak, but I didn't know what to say.

Maxon didn't hear me, or at least he acted like he didn't. He avoided my eyes. "If you have any more concerns, we can talk later. With this new information, I need to talk to my advisors immediately."

I stared at him. "... new concerns…?" I could feel my heart breaking, and my anger rising. Why was he acting so devoid of emotion? I hadn't expected a happy, loving reunion, but Maxon was one of my best friends. Why wasn't he even talking to me?

 _Fairy tales aren't real. There are no happy endings_ , part of me whispered. I stared at Maxon pleadingly, begging him to prove my mind wrong and my heart right, but he avoided my eyes.

"Thank you for speaking with me. I will let you know what the plan of action is so you can help." He said softly, but without emotion. The words he said, and not the way he said it, stung the most. "For now, please rest and try not to get into trouble."

The last part hit me hard, making my mouth purse and my eyes tear up. Did he really think so low of me? He opened the door for me and I walked out, numbly.

The door shut behind me. He didn't even say good-bye.

I had lost everything.

What was I going to do?

 _END OF CHAPTER TWENTY SIX_

* * *

 **A/N: Hi everyone! I'm so excited because now we can get into the good stuff, where everything will be concluded! Even though it's getting kinda dramatic and confusing, don't worry. Feel free to ask questions, and check the summary at the beginning of the chapters in case you forgot what happened! PLEASE Review what you think will happen next, and what you're most excited to see in the end. I'm so close to 200 reviews, and it's really exciting!**

 **Love you all!**


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